September 11 – Sirius
"I don't remember"
I don't remember when I first noticed girls. It may have been 3rd year, when I met Casey Ireland, or 4th year, when Maggie Smith came my way. I do remember being alone in this. I always found them more interesting than Pete did; he was frankly bewildered. Remus thought they deserved more than he had to offer, because he was self-pitying and such a martyr sometimes, and James, for as long as I remember caring about girls in general, cared about Lily.
I don't remember ever feeling about any girl the way James feels about her. James thinks Lily is the girl he was going to marry, despite the fact that she can barely be in a room with him for more than ten minutes without having to reprimand him for something. And, well, I'm just not getting married.
I don't remember all of their names, sometimes. I wrack my brain, but can only come up with parts of a face, or a ring, or a hair color. I don't know what that means.
I'm staring at a younger Hufflepuff (5th or 6th year, absolutely.) with a pretty face (Plain, but still pretty. Happy.) when I can't remember how many there've been. The moment of panic is brief though, and I turn away, looking for James to distract me. Sometimes I don't want to remember.