AN: Sometimes I think I should title the chapters as episodes instead.

Thank you again for reading.

Chapter 4

The bathrooms in high school are gathering places. We go in large groups like herds to hide out and have conversations mostly about boys. It's a place full of gossip, fighting, and reapplying of make-up. Occasionally, cigarette smoke will fill the air and choke you when all you need to do is wash your hands.

I can't help wondering if the teachers have completely tuned out and have given up caring about what happens in this room unless they wander in accidentally. Maybe dealing with all our teenage angst when trying to teach us math or whatever makes them just not want to concern themselves with us when we leave the classroom.

All the drama around me doesn't make me want to be around my classmates either, so I get it.

"Tomorrow is going to be so chill, Jessie! You like excited?" I heard Lauren Malloy say. I could imagine her smearing her lips with that Cherry Lip Smacker gloss that made them look all gooey.

"I am! Ty said he was taking me somewhere special. I like have no idea where." I heard her giggle loudly.

"The back of his car!" Lauren made this weird high pitched giggle. I heard Jess make a squeaking noise. Lauren then laughingly added, "Don't slap me, bitch! You know you would love it."

I made a face from my hiding place in one of the stalls. My feet were resting on the seat and my arms crossed on my knees with my head placed on them. It was the most uncomfortable and slightly yucky position to be in, but you couldn't pay me to go out there.

Just imagining how uncomfortable it would be to have to talk to them made me feel nauseous. In that case, my new toilet chair was probably the best place to be.

"I have like a gift certificate for Forever 21." Jess agreed. "I would love to get a new dress for tomorrow night. Maybe something cut like a little low. I'll, you know, like have to wear a cardigan so my mom doesn't notice."

Like is an overused word around here. I feel as if i'm spying on a Molly Ringwald eighties movie. This isn't the way Jessica talks. I'm listening to a stranger.

Lauren laughed again. It was as horrible to my ears as if someone raked their nails down a chalkboard. Once the awful noise she made stopped, Lauren asked, "Should I pick you up after breakfast? We can get like lunch at Sabarro's after we go shopping."

Sabarro's? If Lauren knew Jessica at all, she would know that Jess likes a chicken sandwich and fries from Burger King or the kung pow chicken at the Gentle Panda Joy. Pizza was never an option, because Jess thought it gave her pimples.

Saturday at the mall was what Jessica and I did every weekend. One of our parents would drop us off in the morning and we would wander around, buying cheap earrings from one of the kiosks. At some point, we would find ourselves outside of the Foot Locker watching cute boys getting new shoes for whatever sports they were playing at the time. It was our day and now she was going to do with it a cool girl that has a car. I was going to end up raking leaves with my dad. Life was so unfair.

"You can get pizza, Lauren. Tyler said I'm looking a little fat in my butt. I think I'll just get a yogurt or maybe a smoothie."

Jessica looked great. I couldn't believe she let that jerk say that to her.

"Like you can never be too careful about fat," Lauren stated. "I'll get a smoothie too, I guess."

I almost let out a gag, but covered my mouth to stifle it.

"Did you hear something?" Jessica asked.

"Nope. Probably the pipes or something," Lauren replied. "Are you going to invite Bella to come?"

Jessica was quiet for a bit. "We could. It might be nice. I think she's going through some things. I was kind of mean to her and—"

"It's called tough love, Jessie. She's hanging out with losers on drugs. She's probably smoking like crack or something. The only way to show her we care is to ignore her until her hair looks good again."

"I guess you're right. Tyler said, you know, the same thing." Jess was silent for a moment and added, "Its better this way."

"Absolutely! If she wants to be uncool then let her. Don't let her like drag you down with her."

Tears threatened to fall and I wiped one that managed to escape with my sleeve.

The door to the bathroom opened. The person who entered made Lauren yell, "You don't belong in here!"

"Oh I belong everywhere, sugar. My fabulousness is legendary." I heard Jacob say to her. I tried to not to laugh as I continued to cover my mouth.

Lauren said angrily, "I'm going to tell the principal, Jacob Black!"

He didn't sound impressed. "Of course, you're not. It would waste valuable lip gloss time. You need to add some more. I don't think you have enough on so your lunch will stick to it. I thought those potato chip crumbs you had stuck on your face yesterday was lovely."

"Go to hell, Jacob! Come on, Jessie!"

Jessica quietly said, "Bye."

The door slammed behind them, allowing me to laugh. I did it so forcibly that I fell off my awkward seat and landed head first into the metal stall door. I stumbled back up to escape the stall.

"Bella Swan? Are you playing Harriet the Spy in there? You're a little old for that game, I think," Jacob said as I opened the door, rubbing my sore head.

"It was unintentional." I gave him a smile before washing my hands. "You know the bathroom for the guys is down the hall."

"I'd rather take my chances with vapid airheads than raging meatheads, sugar plum." He leaned in to look at himself in the mirror and used his pinky to fix his eyeliner. "Why the sad face? Friday is a day of joy."

Friday used to be the best day of the week. I don't think it's going to be that way anymore.

"Really? Day of joy? My weekend will consist of chores and yard work. There's also tonight's special movie chosen by my sister. She just got Free Willy on tape from my grandma."

Jake wrinkled his nose. "The one with the killer whale?"

"Yup."

"Oh girl, I pity you." He looked solemn for a moment, then a smile lit up his face. "Do you trust me?"

"I don't know. Do I?"

Jacob bounced on his heels. "I might have a good surprise planned. Let me check on some things first."

For the first time all day, I felt hope.

XXXXXX

That hope was dashed by dinner time. Nothing more was said about a surprise and I sat at the island in the kitchen smearing tomato sauce on an english muffin.

It was Friday night English Muffin Pizza Party. That was the official title. Dad had been doing this since I was little, and it had been losing the appeal recently.

"That looks disgusting," Bree announced as she poured only cheese onto her muffin.

"Like your face," I retorted, as I carefully placed pepperoni on it to make a face. I had been making my pizza this way since I was younger than Bree.

She glared at me and stuck out her tongue. So mature.

"Yeah . . . Fine, Renee. Would you like me to save you some—" My dad was listening on the kitchen phone to my mother drone on about something. He twirled the cord around his finger. "Okay. . . Sure. . . Bye."

He hung up the phone back on the base which was hanging up on the wall. It was weird, because he just stared at it looking sad. That wasn't my dad. He was almost always smiling. Suddenly, Dad looked so much older.

"Dad? You want some olives for yours?" I asked with a fake smile. Sometimes you just need to lighten the mood, because it was easier than to try and figure out where the sadness was coming from. It was too scary to find out.

"Sure, kiddo." He turned around slowly. He looked a little happier, I imagined. Of course, who knew. Parents hid things from their kids all the time. Maybe, it was better that way. "So Mom has to work late tonight and we have to fend for ourselves. Not to wait up. That Phil is a slave driver."

He tried to sound like he was joking, but he wasn't smiling.

Phil, Mom's boss was so gross. He wore gold chains and had this really dark hair that looked like it was covered in oil. Mom thought he was the greatest guy, because he told her that he couldn't do anything without her. If I was Mom working everyday with him, I would get creeped out by the way he was always rubbing her shoulders. It was nasty.

I also hated the way he would always pat our heads when we went to visit Mom's office. Old Phil treated us like we were babies. Bree stomped on his foot one day when he was cooing at her about My Little Ponies. It was awesome. I gave her some Pokémon cards for doing such a good job. Mom was furious, but by the way dad was grinning, it was so worth it.

"What about the movie, Daddy?" Bree asked looking annoyed. It was her normal expression. It was quite possible that she was a changeling and I had a cool sister somewhere in the world looking for me.

"Well, monkey, we'll just watch it without your mom." He started putting the pizzas in the oven.

She crossed her arms and the pouting face appeared. "I'm not watching it without Mommy. I'll just read my new Babysitter's Club."

Saved by the missing mom. This night was slightly looking up.

The doorbell rang and my dad looked confused. "I wonder who that could be. You girls think of another movie to watch while I get the door. I refuse to have Friday Fun Night be ruined."

"Let's watch the Mighty Ducks," Bree suggested.

"Let's watch Bella's brains ooze out of her ears." I went to the oven to check our dinner. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

"No way would Daddy let us go and rent that! It's a scary movie, Bella! It's my turn to choose anyway!" Bree threw a pepperoni at me. What a brat!

Moments later, my dad appeared followed by Alice who was carrying a large, floral bag covered in buttons from tourist sites. She looked gleeful and gave me a wave.

"You forgot to tell me that you invited a friend over, Bella," Dad stated with a frown. "We need to make more pizza."

"Isabella is a forgetful girl, Mr. S. She's always so busy studying! We talked about it on Tuesday and she probably just lost all memory of it due to math." Alice flashed me a smile. "Never fear, Isabella, I'm here to save the day with sleepover fun!"

She was a weekend miracle.

Bree watched Alice, quietly taking her in. Alice was like a hurricane and all you could do was watch her spin.

My sister finally spoke when Alice slipped out of her jacket. It was a meek voice I wasn't used to. "I like your shirt."

It was a tied dyed tee-shirt and Bree looked in awe of it.

"I'll teach you how to make one," Alice offered.

By the look on Bree's face, Alice had a new follower.

"Can I make you a pizza with the works?" My dad said with a smile. "It's Alice, right?"

"It is and I can definitely eat." Alice opened her bag and pulled out a baggie filled with candy. "I brought dessert."

Bree dived for a Push Pop and my dad looked overjoyed at the sight of the candy. Mom only allowed us to have a small amount of sugar with a slightly larger amount for holidays. She never seemed to mind being around candy or pastries, but the rest of us were sugar fiends. Our daily allotment was never, ever enough.

Alice sat down next to me on a stool and gave me a wink. "I guess if you forgot about our sleepover, you forgot to ask your dad about the movie."

"Movie?" My dad asked. I was equally confused.

"There's a Rocky Horror Picture Show sing-a-long at the Palisades. It looks like a blast. People dress up and everything," she explained.

It did sound cool.

My dad looked wistful. "I was Frank N. Furter for one of those, girls. It was the greatest experience."

"You are so cool, Mr. S!" Alice exclaimed and was rewarded with my Dad giving her one of our secret sodas that was hidden in a mini fridge in the basement. "It starts in a couple of hours."

My dad was so wrapped around her little finger.

"You want me to drop you off?" he asked. It was amazing to watch Alice's power.

"Awesome! My cousin Pete can bring us back here afterward. He's going to be Riff-Raff!"

"That sounds fun," my dad stated without grilling her about her cousin. My mouth had dropped open in shock.

Alice pulled me up. She looked at my sweatshirt and jeans. "We are going to get changed while the pizzas finish. Do you think I can talk Isabella into dress up like Magenta, Mr. S?"

"Good luck with that," Dad said with a laugh.

I led her up the stairs. "I can't believe you talked my dad into this! I've never seen it."

"You won't be seeing it tonight either. We're going to Emmett's party," she whispered excitedly.

"What?"

She squeezed my hand. "Surprise! Jacob will be thrilled his plan worked!"

XXXXXX

The house was at the end of a dead end road that was close to the woods. There was no other houses around it which was probably a good thing, because I had always heard it was a place to party. It was unassuming with the white picket fence and the blue paint of the house looked to be peeling from under the porch light near the door. The only thing that indicated that there was something going on inside was the loud rap music that was coming through the windows.

"Always with the Biggie Smalls," Alice complained to Jacob. "Em needs some new tunes."

Jacob poured a pixie stick in his mouth before answering. "Don't complain again, Al. Emmett will ban you from his house for a month."

"I come bringing his brownies. He'll be nice," she pointed out. "How long will it take to take Pete to get the beer?"

"He's heading to that convenience store a few miles back," Jacob explained. He looked at the worried expression on my face. An arm was put around my shoulder. "Don't be nervous. Just have a Coke and listen to some music. It's no big deal. Emmett's brother is a cop. He keeps the rest of his police buddies away."

It wasn't the police that worried me, at least not too much. It was all the lies we told to get here that was weighing on my conscience.

Pete wasn't Alice's brother, I found out in the car ride here. I think he was Jacob's second adopted cousin or something like that. He was at the theater with Jacob when my dad dropped us off and politely introduced himself to my dad. His lack of costume didn't bother my dad in the least. As soon as my dad pulled away, we piled into Peter's dented Honda Civic and headed here.

"Come on, Isabella." Alice linked her fingers with mine. "Emmett is loud, but harmless."

We entered a room that was filled with a mixture of adults and high school students drinking beers and smoking. Under the blue lights that were coming from the lamps, everything looked eerie from the cigarette smoke. My eyes immediately went to Edward who stood with an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth and a beer in his hands. Tanya and the Doublemint gum twins were chatting next to him and he looked completely bored.

That was until he looked at me. Somehow he managed that tiny smile of his with the cigarette still in his mouth. Of course, he could have been looking at Alice. It didn't stop me from feeling thrilled.

"What did you bring me, little Al?" A big guy with dark curls walked up to us and interrupted my staring at Edward. He held a Colt 45 in his hand and took a long swig out of it.

"Emmett this is my girl, Isabella." She reached into her bag and pulled out a tupperware container of brownies and handed them to him. I guess she noticed my eyes light up at the sight. "None for you, Isabella. These are filled with Mary Jane. You'll be staying a good girl tonight."

Jacob passed me a lollipop. "Only sugar. Let's take it slow with these new wild nights for you."

I popped it in my mouth and Emmett's eyes twinkled. His dimples were so deep they looked like caverns. "You brought me a sweet, little girl? That's even better than brownies."

"Back off, Em. I don't want Rosie to try to kill her," Alice stated moving closer to me.

Emmett just laughed. "She's fucking Royce again. I get a free pass for a few weeks."

"She's always having sex with that guy," Alice said with a shrug. "Still doesn't mean she won't beat a girl up."

"Damn straight!" The big guy cackled.

Jacob whispered in my ear, "Rosie is his old lady. I think they might be married or something. They have tattoos on their ring fingers, so maybe."

I glanced at the guy's thick fingers to see what looked like a drawing of barbed wire around one of them. This was so out of my realm of reality.

"Baby girl, you want to listen to some Wu Tang in my room?" Emmett asked me. He ran a finger down my cheek.

"Nope. No way. No how." Alice grabbed the bottle out of his hand and took a drink. "Let me go with you to take the brownies to the kitchen and away from the pretty girl. Jake take care of her."

Jacob nodded and replaced Alice's hand with his.

Emmett exclaimed as Alice pulled him away, "I'll catch you later, baby!"

This was really uncomfortable. I would feel better if we just stayed at the movie. It would have been more fun. "Jake, I—"

"Hold that thought, Bell! I'll be right back!" He ran toward a girl in pigtails. "Claire! I need to tell—"

I was left all by myself. I was surrounded by strangers and it felt very lonely. I wished there was a corner I could hide in.

A hand placed on my arm. I turned to find Edward. His cigarette had disappeared. "You're here."

"Yeah." In the blue light he looked even more otherworldly beautiful.

"You shouldn't be like here, you know," he stated. His eyes were so big and he made me feel awful.

"I'll disappear then. Don't worry about it," I spat. The anger just flowed out of me. It came out of somewhere unexpected.

"It's . . . God, not like that at all." He took his free hand and ran it through his hair. His hand left my arm and went to my waist. Edward leaned close to my ear. "Emmett is like . . . I don't know. Bad news or something like that."

I felt lightheaded. His mouth was so close to my ear. I whispered, "I'll be okay."

His lips were almost touching my earlobe. I could feel the heat of his breath. "He likes using girls. It isn't good for you to be here, umm . . .You . . . Girl—"

"You don't know my name!" I pulled away sharply. I shouldn't be mad, I knew he was clueless. Mostly about me.

"Angela?"

"No. Wrong answer." I took a deep breath. "I'll be fine. I'm going to find Jacob."

Fifteen minutes later after practically running away from Edward, I was standing next to Jacob and willing this night to be over.

Edward came over to us and I stood taller, trying to appear strong. I refused to let him to get under my skin again. "Hey Jake, Pete wants you to go now. He'll drop you off. He found some girl and wants to take her to his place. I'll take Alice and Bella home."

He looked at me like he was proud or something. Perhaps I should give him a cookie for being a good boy.

"Damn Pete," Jacob complained. He kissed my cheek. "See you later, pretty Bella."

I looked at Edward with a scowl. "Who told you? My name?"

"Pete. Now I'll never forget." He took my hand and just like that I forgave him.

XXXXXX

The ride would have been quiet, except for Alice talking behind us the whole time with her head leaning in between the seats.

Edward was holding my hand as he drove. When he needed to shift, my hand went with his and it felt we were doing it together. It felt wonderful.

When we finally pulled up, the lights to my house were mostly out. I wondered if my mother had arrived home yet.

"I will let you two say your good-byes and head off any parents that might be awake. Keys?" She held out her hand and I put them in her hand. She rubbed Edward's head. "See ya, Cullen."

The door slammed and there was silence. I unbuckled and was surprised to find him doing the same. He shifted to face me. Edward's hand went to my cheek and he stroked it slowly. "You are so different."

"Different? What do you mean?" I was leaning into his touch.

Edward gave that sweet smile that might just be for me. "I dunno, you're just different."

I guess that was a good thing.

His one finger stroked my lips. "I want to live on a ranch, I think."

"Oh?"

That finger of his made my lips tingle. "Yeah."

"Do you like horses?"

"Not really," he said.

"Oh."

He moved one hand to behind my neck and pulled me in. "Wide open spaces and clouds everywhere."

My words were gone. All I could do was stare at him.

He took a breath and removed his finger from my lips. Instead his mouth went onto mine and he plunged his tongue into my mouth. I choked on it.

"Oh my God!" I shouted as I moved away.

"What's wrong?"

"You just don't, you know, put your tongue in a girl's mouth like that, Edward!"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "I don't get it!"

"A first kiss is supposed to be sweet!" I probably sounded like an idiotic, little kid. I felt so embarrassed. "I need to go."

"Wait. It was your first kiss?" He pulled me away from the door and against him. His eyes looked into mine. "Let's try this again."

What happened next was like the most beautiful fireworks. His lips moved so gently on mine. His fingers twisted in my hair.

Edward stopped and gave me three more soft pecks on my forehead. "How was that?"

"Better," I admitted with a grin and a giggle.

"Much better," he agreed with my favorite smile.

"I need to go," I giggled again.

He kissed my palm. "See you around."

I stumbled out of his car still a giggly and happy mess.

This was a diary worthy night to be recorded. Both the good and bad were a story that I would want to remember for years to come. I pressed my fingers to my mouth to try to relive it again.