Dear Journal,

When I went out to see what Spied, Sadie, and Kwest wanted, they presented me with a huge blue teddy bear for Zach and a few balloons, too. That made me feel slightly better. Sadie named the teddy bear Zeus.

Zeus the bear. I didn't feel like asking her what she was smoking when she named it.

I turned on the news when I went home to go get a few necessities. Zach wanted his blanket... the one Tommy bought for him when we found out I was pregnant. When I turned on the TV, I heard Melanie Snow talking about Zach in Entertainment News.

"We have just received word that Zachary Thomas Dutois, the son of rocker Jude Harrison and estranged boyfriend, Tommy Quincy, has been admitted to the Hospital for Sick Children. His condition is unknown. We'll keep an eye on this developing story and bring you more right here on E! Entertainment News."

"Just great, Melanie Snow," I muttered.

I really didn't want it getting out that Zach was sick. Because honestly, if Tommy showed up at the Hospital for Sick Children, I'd kick him out so fast, he wouldn't know what hit him. Zach is sick and having his father show up randomly isn't going to help anyone. Zach has been just fine without Tommy's constant prescence in his life and it's going to stay that way.

It's getting to the point where I'm considering passing this baby off as someone else's. I really want Tommy out of our lives... I'm so sick and tired of the pain and the hurt that he's put on our family. If he would have been there for us, Zach would probably have been a lot happier... he knows his daddy is missing and he doesn't know why. How can I tell my son that his father doesn't want anything to do with him? I can't do that. I just can't.

"Wait, we have confirmation that Tommy Quincy has been spotted on Upper Gerrard Street! Sources tell us that he is accompanied by a redheaded woman who looks to be in her early to mid-twenties. We have a crew on the scene right now. Marlea Jenkins, what do you see?"

"Mr. Quincy, Mr. Quincy! Your son is in the hospital, do you have any statement you wish to release to the media? Mr. Quincy?"

I froze in front of the television, dropping the glass in my hand onto the hardwood floor, where it shattered. Tommy continued to walk, ignoring the cameras, the redheaded girl's hand clasped firmly in his own.

"Mr. Quincy, do you have a statement to release about your son?"

Tommy continued to ignore the press. He didn't seem to be worried about Zach at all. Then again, he had always been really good at covering his feelings. Maybe if he did care, he was just trying not to show it.

He crossed the street and kissed the redhead fully on the lips. I heard gasps from the press and he climbed into the car, flashbulbs going off sporadically.

My whole world started spinning. I fell to the floor and cried.

Tommy Quincy had just walked out of my life for forever.

And if he thought he was ever coming back into it, he was sadly mistaken.

When I got back to the hospital, I brought Zach his blanket. He still felt a bit feverish. Sadie informed me that the nurse told her that he was improving.

I sat down next to his bed and he turned his head to look at me.

"Mommy? Did you bwing my bwankie?"

"Yes, I did," I said, holding back my tears and frustration at Tommy for two seconds. "Here you go, baby."

"Mommy, I'm not a baby. I'm Zach!"

I laughed.

"Mommy? Why are you sad?"

I paused before answering. How on earth did he know I was sad?

"Sad? Oh, honey, I'm not sad. Let me tell you a story, okay?" I pulled a book out of the bag at my feet.

"Does it have a pwetty pwincess and a bwave pwince in it?" he asked, smiling.

"Yes, it does. Now calm down, okay?" I said, trying to reassure him.

"Mmnkay," he said, pulling the blanket up a little and curling up his knees.

"Okay. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She was locked away in a tower, guarded by a fierce dragon. She had been asleep for nearly a hundred years, only to be awaken by her true love's first --"

"Kiss."

I looked up and saw Tommy in the doorway. Rage filled my very bones and I gave him a death glare.

"Can I help you?" I asked, setting the book down.

"I heard about Zach. Hey kid, are you okay?"

I fought down the urge to jump him and beat the shit out of him.

"You finally decided to come see your son again?" I asked bitterly. I crossed my arms over my huge sweatshirt.

Tommy looked at me and didn't answer.

"I think we need to talk out in the hall," I said. I turned to look at my son, who was watching us in confusion. "Baby, I'll be right back."

Zach nodded. I pulled Tommy out into the hallway.

"Tommy, you're not a part of our lives anymore. You walked out on us."

"Jude, I didn't walk out --"

"Who was the redhead, Tommy? Your sister? I'm not stupid. I flip on the TV and all of a sudden, you're on Gerrard Street and people are chasing you, asking if you know your son's condition. I'm surprised you even cared enough to show up." I bit my bottom lip, looking at him.

"You know I still love you."

"Tommy, I stopped believing that a long time ago."

"You still believe it. Way down in here." He put his hand on my heart. "I'm sorry I let you down."

He leaned toward me and kissed my cheek, wrapping his arms around me. I fought the urge not to cry. He paused and looked down.

At my stomach.

"Jude, are you pregnant?"

I nearly died. He wasn't supposed to know about the baby.

xXx Jude xXx

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Leanne