Jack's POV

SGC Minnesota May 1990

When it looked like Jacob wasn't going to show, I as almost relieved. As far as wedding days went, this one as pretty much a disaster. In hindsight, we probably shouldn't have planned an outdoor wedding in Minnesota in May. Doing so demonstrates as Gran said, "More guts than sense." The rain alone would be enough to ruin the day. But the florist turned out to be an idiot unable to distinguish between lilies and lilacs. This wouldn't have been so bad if Sam's brother wasn't allergic to lilacs. After some disposing of the flowers and what was more than double the recommended dose of Benadryl it looked like Mark would be ok. The musician was a wuzz who refused to play in the rain, even after I rounded up volunteers to hold umbrellas over her. Gran insisted on making us the cake. Gran is normally an amazing cook, but somehow this cake-collapsed. Since then Gran has been freaking out-and trying to construct another cake-while entertaining the guest-good things she's a multitasker. Then Charlie managed to do some damage to Sam's dress. I'm not sure exactly what it as, since I'm not allowed to see Sam in her wedding dress. But I do know it is big enough to cause tears and panic in anyone who entered that bedroom to help.

So when Jacob was an hour late I figured, ok, probably for the best, we'll come back in a few weeks and try again with flowers, and music, and cake, and a dress, good weather, and father of the bride. But then, Jacob Carter runs through the door leaving puddles of water on the floor, and shouting, "Sam, Sam, God I'm sorry, but I'm here, Sam." And you know, he was. So we trudged outside in the pouring rain to get married.

I'm thinking to myself, this is has got to be the worse wedding in the history of weddings. This is the kind of wedding story no one will believe. It's beyond horrid. But then Sam walks out of Gran's cabin and I change my mind. Best wedding ever. Even without cake.

Jack's POV

SGC Colorado Springs May 1990

I'd been back from my honeymoon for two days, and today was my first day working at the SGC. I tried to resist taking this post for a while. But honestly, Sam was pretty persuasive. We'd sit on our roof, and she would point out the stars that were orbited by planets she'd help send people to. How could I resist that kind of adventure?

I had a feeling my first day at Cheyenne Mountain was going to be weird. I would have to pretend not to know a whole lot of things that I did know. But I had no idea how weird it was going to be. First of all Sha're is giving the tour. I'm star struck, because this is my first time seeing an alien.

Ok actually that's not quite true. I've see Sha're a few times before. But this is different, because this is my first time seeing her since I found out she's an alien. I'm not supposed to know, I mean I'm probably cleared for the knowledge now, but she hasn't made her big confession to me.

"So this is the floor where the science labs are," she continues.

I'm trying to be patient. They probably have some way they like to revel it. But honestly I want to scream, "Show me the thing you use to get to other planets already!'

Sha're looks at me, "Samantha told you Jack." It isn't a question.

I can't let Sam get in trouble, I try my best to look innocent, "told me about what?" I ask.

She pulls me into a nearby office, "Look Jack, I told Samantha, because we're friends. Not many people here know about it, so don't tell anyone I'm an alien."

"No problem, Sha're, but ever since Sam told me I've wondered….I mean you don't seem…I mean you look…"

"I am a human, Jack. If you are going to work here you should know right off that human and alien are not mutually exclusive. My people were taken from earth thousands of years ago…So grew up on another planet, but human."

"Mind if I ask…" she has such an open face, I know she wouldn't, "Sha're sounds foreign…Littlefield, not so much."

"It's my married name. My people don't have last names."

"I didn't know you were married." I say.

She has a funny look on her face, "I'm not exactly married."

"Divorced?" I ask. But I don't think so. She's young enough for marriage, really young for divorce.

"No, see…I was on my planet. And…he sort of won me in a game of Hounds and Jackals," Sha're says slowly, like I'm pulling the knowledge out of her.

"Hounds and Jackals?"

"My people live sort of like the Ancient Egyptians. It's a game of chance my people play."

"So your husband won you in a poker game?" I ask.

"In a manner of speaking, yes, Jack," she says.

"I can see how you wouldn't be too fond of the guy after that," I say. But I can tell by her face I'm wrong.

"It wasn't like that…Danyel didn't exactly know I was the stakes. He thought he was playing for a tablet," she says looking down.

"And he was disappointed when he got you instead of a rock? The man must be stupid and blind," I say with a smile, trying to cheer her.

"He was surprised," she said, sounding annoyed at my not thinking her husband was a gem, "He didn't know what to do. He thought it would be wrong to accept me as property. But then he figured out that to not accept me…I would be the ultimate insult, the ultimate humiliation for me. He couldn't do that to me."

"So he took you home with him to Earth," I said trying to keep my distain for the man out of my voice.

"He did right by me Jack, I was nineteen, and terrified. He took me into his house. He gave me my space. Treated me like a perfect gentleman. He taught me to speak English, got me a job here, helped me find my own place. He's helping me take my study for my GED, and giving me a crash course on earth culture. Danyel didn't do anything wrong," he says slowly.

Then I get it. I get why she defends him so much, "You're in love with him," I say. She nods looking away from me. "Does he know this?" She shakes her head, "Planning on telling him?" She shakes her head harder, "I think you should."

"You can't tell him, Jack," she says.

"I'm not going to spill the beans, Sha're, but you should tell your husband you are in love with him."

"How is Sam, Jack?" she asks.

"Good segue," I grin, "My wife is amazing. Things are great. She'll be back at work in two days."

"Ok, ready to continue out tour?" I nod, "Going to stop looking at me like…."

"….an alien?" I provide.

"Yeah," she grins, "like that."

Sha're ends her part of the tour in a room she calls, "the control room." There are huge blast doors, and I can tell this is the part where the tour is going to get interesting.

"Lots of computers in here," I comment to the man who is supposed to be continuing my tour but is only squinting at a computer screen with a horrible face.

"Yeah, Samson's giving us some trouble. Just a second," he replies.

"Samson?" I ask.

"Yeah, not an official name. We just call it that, because it's very powerful-like Samson in the Bible. Also the person who made it is Sam. It's her baby-Sam's son-get it? But she's on her honeymoon now, and in the fall she'll be leaving us for good. She built this thing, and now we're left to our own devices to figure it out. Stupid, to waste a mind like that on husband and babies. It should be a crime. Sure hope this husband of hers is worth it."

"I'd like to think I am," I reply dryly.

He focuses his attention on me completely for the first time, "What?"

"Samantha O'Neill, formally Carter, she's my wife," I repeat.

"I'm….ah…."

"And she isn't quitting JUST to have babies. Although we will be doing that as well." I say with a wicked wink sure to make him squirm, "She wants to come back to this place with the title of Dr., and a bit more respect," I said pointedly.

"I'm sorry….sir…." he stammers, "I really do respect your wife. She's brilliant. Samson is amazing."

"And Sammy has a son, well a step son actually, but he's more her son than this computer is." I run my fingers over this thing, "So this is Sam's work," I say.

"Yeah, wait until you see what Samson runs," he says with a grin.

Just what I've been waiting for for over six months I think. He lifts up the blast doors, and there it is. It's a huge loop with fancy decorations. Impressive, but not as impressive as what it does.

He's watching my reaction. This part of his job has got to be pretty fun. Shock the hell out of new guys.

"What does it do?" I ask.

"It creates a wormhole, that allows instantaneous travel to other planets."

Time for my acting debut. First, no reaction, "What does it really do?"

"Sir, people go through the gate to other planets."

"Ok, so raze the new guy, I get it, but I'm too old to fall for these pranks, Sergeant, so you might as well get to the point where you tell the truth."

He laughs, "I'm telling you the truth, sir. Not that I really expect you to believe it. No one does, at first. Wait 'til you see it her lighted up. We've got a team leaving for a mission in a few minutes." A team arrives and he starts pressing some buttons on Samson (going to have to give Sam a hard time about the name of the computer). The thing spins around, smoke is spilling out. Very impressive.

"When I first started working here that thing shook like nobody's business. Caused a mini earthquake. Sam worked here a week, and one day she looks up and says, 'That is getting really annoying' by the end of the day she had it fixed so it didn't shake anymore," The technician says with a grin.

Then the thing stops spinning. And explodes. Ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. But there is a lot of-what the hell is it-shooting out of it for a second. Then it gets weirdly peaceful. Like my Gran's lake except—horizontal.

"What the hell is that Sergeant?" I ask, and it's not all acting.

"That sir, is the event horizon of a stable wormhole capable of taking people to other planets."

The team below walk through the gate, and it flashes off with a appropriately dramatic sound, and they have disappeared.

"Holy shit!" And again, it's not all acting.

The tour is over now, and it's lunch time. After lunch I have an appointment at the infirmary, and then the gym. Get me cleared for active duty. Apparently tomorrow I have several briefings and a few days of reading mission briefs in front of me. But they leave me alone for lunch. Swell. My tray is full and I find myself wishing Sam had come back today.

I feel like I'm in high school again. Well, clearly that is the jock table-full of marines-no thanks. There is the nerd table-full of scientists. There are some other tables-clicks I suppose- that obviously contain members of a team leaning close and talking. There is only one real option that I see. One guy sitting all by himself. People sitting my themselves usually like company right? I mean this guy isn't exactly putting off a welcoming air, he's pretty much barricaded behind a book, but what the hell, at least he isn't arm wrestling like the marines.

"Hey," I say setting down my tray.

"Mmm," he, well you can't exactly call that a reply can you?

"Whacha doing?" I ask.

"Translating," ok, so that one is a reply at least.

"Translating what?" I continue.

He lowers the book, apparently deciding that I am just annoying enough to warrant attention, "Who are you?" he asks.

"Lieutenant Colonel Jack O'Neill, United States Air Force, pleased to meet you," I say sticking out my hand.

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Daniel," he says absently.

"You go by your first name?" I ask.

"Had to," he replies, "There are an awful lot of Littlefields around this base, and most of them are doctors."

"You're Sha're's husband?" I ask examining him carefully now.

"Not really," he sighs, "I really should get that officially annulled. But Sha're is just awful at losing legal papers," Oh, I bet she is, "Anyway if you are one of those people who don't believe the rumors-yes, you have my permission to date my wife-anyone does," he says pulling his book shield back up.

"Soooooooooooo, don't want to date your wife, Daniel," I say with a laugh.

The book slams down and there is anger on his face, "What the hell is wrong with Sha're?"

I put up my hands to calm him down, "Nothing, nothing. But I'm already married. And unlike yours mine is the kind of marriage where the wife would not like me dating other people," I smirk picturing Sam's reaction. It involves a lot of her military training. "Your wife's a good women, Daniel, just not interested in her that way."

He relaxes, "Sorry…uh….what's your name again?"

"Jack," I say.

"Right, so you know Sha're?" he says.

"Yeah, she babysat my kid a couple times. My wife and her are real good friends," I offer.

He tilts his head, "You aren't Sam's husband are you?" he asks.

"Sure am!" I grin.

"Your wife is amazing!" he says.

"Been told," he say nonchalantly. He gives me a nasty look, ok not to self-Daniel Littlefield is not a big fan of my humor.

"It must have been her first month working here when Sha're introduced us. I'm working in my office on this translation I've been working on since I was eight. It's pretty important stuff. Four alien races views on what's most important in a brief 1,000 pages. I've been stuck on this passage for years. I think, I've got to be translating it wrong. I mean I keep getting random letters and numbers. My cipher has got to be off. Sam looks over my shoulder and says, 'Holy Hannanh' and rips the paper from my hands. She's flipping through the pages, and I say, 'What does it say?' and she looks at me like someone has just bought her a new car and says, 'Equations! They are equations! The sort of equations that physicists talk about then they talk about 'universal formulas' the sort of equations they mean when they say physics is like a spiritual experience. The sort of equations that could put a good 90% of physicist out of business. We're talking holy grail of science here!' She flips through them some more looks at me and says, 'And they look complete. Do you realize that right here, four pages, and they probably explain EVERYTHING in the universe? Can I borrow these?' And she studied those things for a while and her conclusion is that yeah, they describe every physical law. That gave me the idea to give the next part over to the biology department once I had it translated. They weren't quite as excited as Sam, but they were still pretty excited. I'm still working on the next part. I'm really hoping the whole thing doesn't turn out to be a scientific text. I'd like 'meaning of life' to be something more than that you know?"

Crap, I like him. I wanted to hate him for Sha're's sake.

I nod in answer to his question, "Do you go through the gate Daniel?" I ask.

He looks at me with a really weird expression on his face, "Not often. They bring back enough for me to translate. Actually, Jack, Sam helped with the cartouche too. See I knew they were gate addresses, but I didn't know what they were telling me about them. Sam takes one glance at my data and says interstellar drift! Of course, we live in an expanding universe, so planets are always moving apart. Since Sam figured that out we've been able to generate new addresses much faster (even higher with that dialing computer of hers). It's amazing!"

"Does Sha're ever visit home?" I ask.

He studies me carefully, "You know where her home is?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say.

"Once and a while she'll ask me to go back. In that culture I pretty much have to go back with her. And we have to act like we're really married, really, really, her people are pretty open about the PDA's. But it's the only way she can see her family, so every once in a while…"

"You bite the bullet and suck face with an incredibly beautiful women," I say. Sha're was a smart woman. Figuring out a way to get Danny boy to play house with her. I bet she even made up the thing about PDA's in her culture.

"Jack, the stuff between Sha're and me…It's complicated."

"You won her in a poker game," I say and he's face is shocked. No one has probably ever put it that bluntly to him before, "Doesn't mean you're blind."

"Yeah, Sha're is beautiful," he agrees and he sounds like a thirteen year old confessing to his first crush.

"Nice girl too," I point out.

"Yesssss," he says and pulls his book shield back up.

"Course she's smart…" I say.

He slams the book back down, "I get it Jack! Sha're is wonderful, what is your point?"

"Just 'cause you married her doesn't mean you can't date her," I say. Then because he's stunned, and it's the perfect time to walk off, I do…even though I'm not done eating.

Jack's POV

Colorado Springs June 1990

They told me about the snakeheads. I'd read about them in the official reports. Sha're had even told us a little about her mom being taken by them once. But this was the first time I met them. It didn't go well.

It was a peaceful little world, a lot like the one Sha're came from but different. We were just talking to the locals when suddenly the Stargate activates. Through it walk creatures covered in metal-I'd heard about Jaffa. I fire my weapon at the one closest to me. I'm aiming for his neck, which I'm hoping is the weak spot in his armor although honestly I have no clue. I see a strange small weapon get leveled on me, and see a blue bolt of electricity come out of it.

The next thing I know I'm waking up in a big room. There are a bunch of people around me. I'm looking around for the team's linguist, and he's not there. Crap. Wish I'd paid more attention to the language section of my training. There are about sixty people in the room and four or five of those big Jaffa. So I'm figuring out odds are pretty good. If I could just remember even a couple of words. I mean a shout of "freedom!" or "get them" or "down with false gods" or anything like that would be helpful at the moment. But the only Goa'uld I can remember is "Kree!" and I don't even know what that means.

I shout it anyway. A few of the humans standing next to me give me a dirty look, but no one else has much of a reaction. Expect for one of those big Jaffa in the metal snake outfit. He charges toward me, and I'm thinking this is a pretty stupid ass way to die, but he doesn't kill me. He grabs arm like he's going to squeeze it off.

"Ow," I say.

"What is this?" he asks.

"It's a watch," I reply.

He presses a button by his neck and the weird snake thing on his head disappears reveling an bald black head with a weird marking on his forehead. "It is not Goa'uld technology. Where are you from?"

"Earth, Colorado Springs if you want to be specific," I say. It hurts my stomach to think of home and Sam, and Charlie.

"Your words mean nothing," he says clamping down on my hand all the harder.

"Look, you guys like to call the place Tau'ri."

His face gets closer to mine for a second. There is something intense in his eyes. Then he walks away. A few seconds later the big guy with the watch obsession shouts out, "Shaka ha! Kree hol mel, Goa'uld!" And I'm thinking, "Where the hell is my linguist." Then he adds, "Benna! Ya wan, ya daru! Kneel before your masters!" Ok, well at least there was an English translation tacked on the end of that one. Everyone is kneeling down. I'm not a big fan of this idea, but the big guy gives me this look. It's not like we've established a fantastic report with one another, but I don't see much of an option so I kneel down. "Benna, ya wan ya daru! Choose!" The big guy shouts. Then I see them grab my linguist. The guy was cowering in the corner the whole time.

I turn to the big guy who seems to like my watch and shout, "I can save these people! Help me! Help me." Our eyes are locked, and I'm really hoping. Really hoping this guy saves my ass and I get to go home to my family.

He locks eyes with me, "Many have said that." He turns to his guards and blasts them away. Then he throws me the staff weapon, whose operations were luckily covered in SGC training, "But you are the first I believed could do it!"

He grabs a staff weapon off one of his dead guards, and we're standing next to one another shooting until all that is left in the room is humans. "Get out of the way," I holler to the people, "And I shoot a hole in the wall with my handy new staff weapon. "Come on let's move!" I shout. I look over my shoulder to make sure my chicken of a linguist is still with us. I don't want to have to explain to Stargate command why I'm coming back minus one coward.

Once I have gotten every human through the opening I glance back. The big Jaffa dude is standing there looking like his puppy just died.

"Hey, c'mon," I say.

"I have nowhere to go," he says.

"For this you can stay at my place. Let's go," I say. I'm trying to imagine Sam's reaction if I actually did bring a giant Jaffa home with me.

"Teal'c," he replies. He's walked about fifteen steps when he stops, "I can't leave my wife and son," he says.

"Of course you can't, let's go get them buddy," I say a little shocked that he would even think of it.

We're lucky because Teal'c's house is sort of on the way to the gate.

"Drey'auc! Rya'c!" He shouts.

A little boy comes running out, "Dad!" he says running into his father's arms. My heart seriously melts. Rya'c is about Charlie's age, and this greeting is EXACTLY the one I get every time I come home from a mission.

"Where is your mother, son?" Teal'c says holding the boy close.

"Right here," a voice replies. I turn to see his wife, hands covered in flour.

"We have to leave, right now," Teal'c says, his voice pressed with urgency.

"Where are we going husband? This is our home," Drey'auc replies.

"It is so no longer, I have betrayed the gods," Teal'c replies pulling himself up to his full height.

"No," Drey'auc says seeming to deflate to about half of her height, "No husband, you did not."

"Oh for crying out loud, we don't have time for this ma'am. We've got a bunch of snakeheads on our tail. You and your son need to come with us RIGHT now, so you can be safe," I say.

"I did not betray the gods. If I stay, perhaps they will offer me forgiveness," Drey'auc says.

Teal'c moves toward her, and for the first time I see true affection in this man, "I cannot live without you," he says looking deep into her eyes.

Drey'auc looks all swoony for about two seconds, and then she turns into a military commander. "Rya'c you have fifty seconds to grab what you want from this house, and then we are on the move," she commands.

This son knows how to obey orders. When we get to earth I'm going to make sure Charlie and him hang out a lot. Charlie could do with a bit of military discipline. It actually only takes Rya'c about fifteen seconds to grab something I think is a stuffed animal and something that looks like a toy staff weapon. Drey'auc slips something from a bowel into her pocket and grabs her staff weapon. Teal'c doesn't move to grab anything. I suppose he figures wife and child are more than enough.

"You know," I say to Rya'c, "I've got a son about your age."

He grins up at me. "You aren't a Jaffa are you?" he says.

I stare at him as if he's nuts, "You mean did I let them put a snake in my gut? No that would be negative, kid."

We come over a hill and Teal'c peeks over it, "The Goa'uld have already escaped with their prisoners," he informs me.

"Is the gate guarded?" I ask.

"Not right now, but I don't think it's going to be that way for long," he replies. We start charging down the hill. I yell for my coward of a linguist to dial earth. He seems capable of that at least. There is a rustling in the trees, Teal'c, Drey'auc, I, and even Rya'c turn toward it. Four staff weapons lowered on it. As they start emerging from the trees I discover that Rya'c's weapon wasn't so much a toy as a child sized model. Figures.

They are right on the edge of firing range, and we're dropping them at an amazing rate. This family has amazing firing skills. But we're not dropping them fast enough. We've already lost a couple of the crowd of innocent humans behind us. That kind of thing is unacceptable. The gate shoots into action, and the linguist has radioed through to the General.

"We're clear sir, and he knows we've got company," he says looking at me.

"Move!" I shout. Humans are spilling through the gate, and the four of us are walking backwards behind them shooting all the time. I let one last shot go after we're through the gate and it's disengaged. The wall of the SGC now has a huge singe mark on it. Going to hear about this later.

"Lieutenant Colonel!" I hear Hammond's voice scold.

"Yes sir!" I say.

"You brought a family of hostiles with you?" He says in that voice that can make marines wet their pants.

"No sir," I say grinning to Teal'c, "What I brought you are some VERY valuable allies who saved my butt."

He glares at me, "Alright come up here for a debriefing," he says with a sigh of resonation.

"Yes sir!" I reply.

Jack's POV

Colorado Springs October 1990

Home-it's a powerful word. A good word to. The best one that has ever been invented. The word is even better when you have been away from home for a while-like I have. My team-now plus one Jaffa was off world and all caught some illness. It wasn't dangerous-in fact it made you laugh hysterically at everything. But it was very contagious and I'd just spent over a week in quarantine. Every time I tried to call Sam I'd end up laughing so hard I'm not sure she got the message. So I hope she didn't worry.

But now I'm coming home. The first family member to note my presence is Taurus our Border Collie/Vizla pup. I hear his barking the second I get out of my truck. The barking continues, until he hears the key in the latch. The dog is smart enough to know that people who use keys aren't the enemy. But when he actually sees me the dog goes nuts. He's wiggling, and jumping all over me. He doesn't settle down until he's had a good two minutes of petting and talking to. We made a good choice with that one. He's got Sam's brain, and my personality.

"Taurus, what are you prancing around for?" Sam demands coming down the stairs. Taurus runs over to her and bounces around her too. Actually that's the best part about Taurus, he gets excited when he sees you for the first time in an hour as well as a two weeks.

When Sam sees me she does a good Taurus impression. Her eyes light up, she runs over to me, and gives me a bone squeezing hug, "Jack! I'm so glad you're back."

"You weren't worried were you Sam? I tried to leave you messages, but that damn infection…"

She cuts me off, putting a finger over my mouth, "Jack I may no longer work at the SGC, but I've still got a lot of friends there. Over thirty people called me up to tell me you were fine, just not coming home. Only two of them were authorized to realize the information. Actually, I'm pretty sure some of them weren't even authorized to have the information," she kisses me, "still glad you're back."

"Missed me, eh?" I say. But there is something going on here. Something way beyond normal missing.

"Yeah, I wanted to try out your reaction to something, and I definitely didn't want to do it when you had such a bad case of the giggles."

"So what have you got to tell me?" I say grinning.

"Baby number two is no longer theoretical," she says with a HUGE grin.

I spin her around and making a lot of whooping noises. Charlie charges down the stairs, "What is going on?" he asks. Then he sees me, "Dad!" He flings himself into my arms. And there we are: two adults, a kid, a baby, all in one giant hug, with a dog making insane circles around them.

I told you home was a very good word.

My release from the infirmary must have been pretty big news on the SGC grapevine. Daniel and Sha're came by to see how we were doing. Since Daniel took me up on his advice, the four of us have been doing quite a bit of double dating.

As soon as Sha're is through the door, Sam is pulling her off to the patio. Through the glass door we see them jumping up and down and hear squealing.

"Now what do you suppose that is all about?" Daniel asks dryly.

"Probably about the baby," I say playing it cool with a shrug.

"The baby?" Daniel's eyes get wide.

"Yep," I say stopping the calm act and letting the pride an excitement show through, "Our baby."

For a second Daniel looks disappointed, but then a wide grin cover his face, "Good for you, Jack!" he says slapping me on the back.

"Are you are Sha're trying for baby?" I ask having not missed what the meaning of that disappointed look meant.

"No, Jack," he sighs, "It was obvious what you meant. Just…for a moment…"

"For a moment you were thinking you got to have a family?"

He nods.

"You know, if you asked Sha're…"

He cuts me off, "You know Jack, you do a lot of meddling in my personal life."

"You need a catalyst Danny boy, a catalyst," I say.

"I supposed I did," he says, "Have I thanked you for that by the way?" I shake my head, "Thank you Jack. It was just when Sha're and I first met we were so young. She was nineteen, I was twenty. Neither of us was ready for a real marriage. I mean I don't know, maybe she was, but I definitely wasn't ready for a real marriage. Then by the time I maybe could have been ready-everything was settled. You know she had her own place, she had her own job, her own life."

"And you'd put out the news through the grape vine that it was fair game to ask your wife out," I point out.

"Yeah, Sha're is never going to let me hear the end of that one. She calls me a pimp all the time."

I do something halfway between a choke and a laugh, "That sweet innocent little thing calls you a pimp?"

"Sha're is not as sweet and innocent as she appears Jack."

"Oh, I know that Danny boy. I've seen the two of you kiss, it's quite obscene."

"Jack," staring at her through the window. The girls have stopped shrieking down, and are talking, "I've been meaning to ask Sha're to make this a real marriage. Do you think I should just ask her, or go all out and do the whole engagement wedding thing?"

I blow air through my mouth. I can't believe Daniel thinks I'm some kind of a relational expert just because I told him he should be with Sha're. Any chimp could have told him that. "I don't know, you are the anthropologist who knows her culture, and you are the boyfriend who knows her. Which one is going to make her happier?"

"That was really good advice, Jack," he says.

"I told you to figure it out yourself," I say smirking.

"Still good advice, Jack," he says. Just then the girls come in. Danny throws his arms around Sam and says, "Congratulations!"