IV
The idea from this story came from a book called Speak written by Laurie Anderson. It's about a girl who gets raped and its actually pretty good… and from a bustling blond shinobi in orange… neither one was made or is owned by me… a pity really
I'm going for a thousand words a chapter not including this or the quote.
I think about lying down. No, that would not do. I crouch by the trunk, my fingers stroking the bark, seeking a Braille code, a clue, a message on how to come back to life after my long undersnow dormancy. I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here. So, how can I find my way? Is there a chain saw of the soul, an ax I can take to my memories or fears? I dig my fingers into the dirt and squeeze. A small clean part of me waits to warm and bust through the surface.
-Speak (188-189)
We finally got a c rank mission
We had to escort a man back to the wave country, a bridge builder. He lied to us and the mission was at least ranked A. We were attacked by Zabuza and another man named Haku. The first time they fought us they captured Kakashi sensei and that was just Zabuza! They trapped him in a water dome and it took some serious teamwork to get him out. Before Kakashi sensei could kill him Haku came disguised as a hunter nin and fooled us all.
We went to Inari's house and he yelled at us to give up! The nerve of him! He has no idea what its like to live a miserable life! He has no idea how it is to be lonely! He will never know and I told him that! I ran out of the house and Kakashi sensei talked to him. I came back and saved him and his mother from other nins.
Then I ran to the bridge and everyone was involved in a harsh fight. My idiotic ways got me caught in Haku's bloodline technique. WE were in an area that was surrounded by mirrors and he was in every one of them at once. I was there with Sasuke and we had awesome teamwork trying to get out and then he threw needles well senbon at us. He didn't hit us in any vital places at first and we kept trying to get out. He was way to fast for us and he knocked me down. I tried to get up when blue blocked my view.
He said he hated me, I said I hated him
He called me an idiot, I said he was a bastard
He was the night, I was the day
We were opposites
We never got along
He was the number one rookie, I was the dead last
He was on of my precious people
My goal was to protect him
Why did he have to protect me?
He took the senbon for me, the one's that might've ended my life. He swayed on his feet and fell backwards, I caught him I was so numb. I couldn't lose a precious person. He was upset that he died so soon he still had to kill his brother. He still had to LIVE! I could've died… Why him? Why not me?
"Don't… Die…"
Those were the last words he said to me before I lost it.
"Is this the first person close to you to die"
"This is a ninja's life"
"He was a-"
NO! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT ALL STOP!
He was there with the village
"Die"
"Demon"
"see what happens when you get close to him"
"It should've been you!"
"That is the life of a ninja" Haku's words echoed
NO! NO! NO!
It's all too much! What kind of man could be a hokage when they couldn't even save their own friends!
I was in the sewer place again. I was so mad I was shaking. I yelled as loud as I could I needed his help, but he had to have limits, I can't risk any of my other friends
"I don't care just KILL HIM and SAVE MY FRIENDS!"
"HA! HA! HA!" her voice boomed "I'll see what I can do, you do know that you are useless without my power"
I kneeled over his body and I felt great. I felt re-energized and all of my wounds were healed. The senbon imbedded in me disintegrated. I grew fangs and claw and I was leaking red chakra, Kyuubi's chakra, mine is blue.
The floor broke under my chakra and I fought with such a blinded fury.
HE KILLED SASUKE! HE KILLED MY PRECOUS PERSON! HE KILLED HIM! HE KILLED HIM! HOW DARE HE!
One final punch, that's what Kyuubi said, but I couldn't do it…
"You have taken away my life's purpose; just kill me I am no use to Zabuza"
Well, if he said so. He looked over
"I still might have some use"
He saved Zabuza, by sacrificing himself, like Sasuke saved me. Tears came out but they were vaporized. The chakra receded and I turned back to normal.
"NARUTO" I looked over to see Sakura and SASUKE! He was standing up and he jerked his hand as a wave. He was okay!
He was okay, I was glad for that, but I'm not okay-this is not okay.
I can't do this anymore; I lost control because sasuke got hurt. We completed the mission, but I didn't pay attention to anything else.
I sat on a tree just outside the village. I looked at the tree; someone must've used it for training because it was filled with blemishes. I ran my finger along them, I never got any permanent marks on me, Kyuubi healed everything before I could get a scar.
How can I make things right? How can I make up for this, I tried to take the place of the precious ones they lost, but I can't protect them, I couldn't, look at what happened to Sasuke. I couldn't protect anyone. I don't want anyone else to protect me, ever again, first Iruka sensei took the giant shuriken in he back for me, and now Sasuke took the Senbon for me. I can't be someone everyone has to protect
"Then get stronger than me"
I AM stronger than you, but I can't show that… people will only think it is the demon inside of me, which part of it is. I trace the bark, like me it's not perfect, but it still stands strong, unlike me, despite what people do to it, it towards above us all. I want to be like that.
I will not tell the of the Kyuubi, it would make them look at me in ways I don't want them to, I lean forward and look at the ground beneath. A worm is poking through the dirt, well trying to; I move the dirt out of its way. I smile and squeeze the dirt letting it fall, that's what I need to do, find what's in my way and move it out. Kyuubi is trying to break free of me but she won't I won't let her. I can't let her hurt anyone, ever. I have to get stronger and use my own power to protect everyone.
(A/N) Halfway through! I'm sort of changing it a little bit, if you couldn't tell, it's less of Naruto's head and more on the story line. Poor Naruto, but this is how he lived, and how he felt in my opinion, or how he might've felt. Triple R people!