I just want to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I also want apologize for my slow updating. It's difficult at times to find time to write due to all the demands of Senior year. So, again, I ask all of you to please be patient and enjoy Virtue of the Damned!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own no one from the Potter Universe except for my original characters!
Chapter Four: Revelations
"Hermione, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"
"No, I understand…I wouldn't expect anything less. Hell, I deserve your anger and much more. I am or was after all the 'Dark Queen.'" Gone was the cold mask of a powerful witch and in place was a woman in pain. Alexandra glanced at her watch before looking back at her patient.
"If you would prefer, we can continue this session at a later date," She offered but Hermione shook her head.
"No, you answered my question and in all fairness, we made a deal. And as odd as it may sound, I still do have a sense of honor left in me." She offered with a small smile. Hendrix couldn't help but wonder if the new act was the real Hermione or if that was all it was, an act. Not willing to lose the chance of a compliant patient, she went for the proverbial kill.
"Why?" Without looking at the doctor, Hermione smiled as her eyes drifted closed.
"Why what, Hendrix? There's a lot that falls under the category of why. You're going to have to be a little more specific." She replied but with no malice. Her voice sounded tired. Alexandra noted that her entire posture seemed to have shifted when she voiced the question. Her shoulders where no longer pulled back in defiance, her chin no long upturned in order to look down at the doctor. Her shoulders where now hunched ever so slightly, her chin now pointed down towards her chest.
"Why…why did you change sides?"
"Now isn't that the million dollar question?" Alexandra looked completely lost.
"Yes, it is. No one knows why. And I mean no one. Not the Ministry, not the Order— "
"Are you sure about that 'no one', Hendrix? There are three people on the light side that do…and know the subject so intimately," She abruptly laughed as a thought seemed to bloom in her mind's eye. "They're your saviors. They destroyed my life more than once but they ask you to discover the reason for my defection? Cowards, the whole lot of them! They can't even face me. Has their victory gone to their heads and erased all their sins? Has their triumph cancelled out the means to their ends?" She ranted, suddenly standing, her chair falling back with a crash. Alexandra froze, fear seizing her. Hermione stalked to the shaded window and ripped the shades from their frame. The sudden burst of sunlight blinded both occupants of the room and sent Hermione to her knees. She clutched her stomach as her breathing turned erratic.
"Oh God!" Hermione screamed as she crumpled to the floor, her body shaking.
Alexandra blinked her eyes to adjust to the light as she tumbled to the floor next to her patient. She could hear the medical staff assembling outside, waiting for her signal to intervene. Ignoring the back up, she gently placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder. She flinched away from the touch.
"Stop! Just stop it! Send me back, send me back! I can't do this! I can't…" The former dark witch sobbed into her arms, her eyes clenched shut. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. Realization dawned on Alexandra. The session was causing her to have flash backs.
"Hermione, I want you breathe, okay? I can't help you if you don't calm down. In through your nose and out through your mouth." The Healer coached as she attempted to calm her down. Hermione did not respond but simply trashed about. Hendrix decided to take a different approach.
"If you don't calm down you'll pass out, Hermione. Is that what you want? To give up? Is that who you are? Do you want to go back to being Hermione Granger? Or are you Hermione Malfoy?"
A loud gasp tore from Hermione's lips as she cleared through the haze of memories. Coherence bloomed in her eyes as she began to control her breathing. She was right. Hendrix was right. She was no longer that girl. She was a Malfoy. That alone was definitely a far cry from when she was in Hogwarts. Testing which reality she was in, Hermione tentatively opened her eyes in the dark cocoon of her hair and arms, relief filling her as she realized they were not there. She was no longer there either.
Lifting her head from the embrace of her arms, Hermione shakily pushed her hair back from her face before instantly regretting it; the streaming sunlight blinded her. Hissing, she began to scramble across the floor for a corner when a thought stopped her. You're a Malfoy. Malfoy's do not hide and they most definitely do not scramble for a corner. Pulling every shred of dignity left that had somehow lodged itself deep within herself, she unsteadily stood with her back to the window.
Alexandra watched in a somewhat awe as she witnessed her patient try and overcome her stigma of the light. But the healer understood that she was overcoming something much deeper than a fear of the light. She was fighting against something that was older than eight years old. She was fighting against the very thing that caused to her to change sides.
"Hermione, are you ok now?" Alexandra asked gently, lifting her chair back into its appropriate position before moving to fix her patient's. She noticed Hermione take a deep breath with her eyes closed and expel it through her mouth, just as she had coached. The woman slowly opened her eyes, blinking back moisture, and slowly shifted back into her chair.
"Yes, Hendrix, I'm fine." She pulled at the wrists of her long sleeved robes in a nervous gesture. She could feel the bile at the back of her throat as her stomach swayed tumultuously. She was aware of the fine shaking of her hands as she pushed her long hair behind her ears. She knew that her body was close to giving out. But she would not recognize the fear that had seized her heart. Because to acknowledge it was to accept its truth and let it take over. Fear was neither in her vocabulary nor in a Malfoy's. She was a Malfoy. She was a Malfoy. A Malfoy…
"Hermione?" Alexandra became more cautious as her patient seemed to drift off into her own world again. This was pushing it. Maybe it would be best if she ended the session and suggested a later t-
"There were many reasons, Hendrix. Sometimes I think there are too many to count, but they all really boil down to one main reason. And for the rest of my life, I shall never forgive them for it, for even asking it of me."
"Who asked you?"
Hermione scoffed with a smirk on her lips. "Your precious Saint Potter, of course. Along with his trusty sidekick and his sister." Alexandra's eyes were wide with shock.
"Harry Potter, Minister Weasley, and Mrs. Potter are the cause of your defection?" She whispered as she scribbled the revelation into her notes. It could not be.
"Who'd you think was? Neville Longbottom?"
"Hermione, what did they ask of you?" Hermione's breath caught in her throat at the question. She turned towards the window, her eyes adjusted to the light.
"They asked me to kill." Alexandra flinched slightly. The saviors of their time asked her to kill?
"It was a war, Hermione. Perhaps it was not all that unreasonable for them to have asked you that."
"They asked me to kill a child." Alexandra paled. Kill a child? How could anyone ask that of anyone? No, something had to be wrong with the information that she was receiving. Perhaps Hermione wasn't being entirely forthcoming.
"Maybe the child was evil or, or dangerous. Possibly it would have destroyed any chance for the Light to win. Perchance,-"
"You don't get it, Hendrix," Hermione cried. She bit her lip as her gaze fell to her folded hands. "They asked me to kill my baby."
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