Title: Heartbreak IV – Rain
Author's Note: SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADING FOR SUCH A LONG TIME! exams have been killing me but at last i find some time to post this chapter. Thanks to all those who have commented so far, also Vigilluminatus who gave me the idea of chucking in a bit of Holow Ichigo, even though it's only for a moment. To make up for the long time i took writing this, i'll try and upload the final part as soon as possible. Anyway, hope you like this chapter!
Disclaimer: Bleach is all Tite Kubo's idea, so i don't own Ichigo or Rukia
I stare up at the grey heavens
Depositing their weight onto my shoulders.
Reminding me of the many tears I cry for the past.
I remember what she used to say,
"Never stop looking for the rainbow."
I wonder where the hell my rainbow is now.
Ichigo couldn't care less. The rain batters him, soaking him to the bone, but he pays it no attention. He drags his feet through deep puddles, sending droplets flying into the air, mingling with the falling rain, but he turns a blind eye. He no longer cares.
His hands are in his pockets, his head hung low as if it carries too heavy a burden. His hair is soaked, and so are his clothes. His school books are probably ruined as well. By the time he gets home, he'll probably have caught a cold. He is already shivering. He could put up his umbrella, but he can't be bothered. He no longer cares.
The rain brings with it memories that he wish he could forget, but would never forgive himself if he does. Because these memories are what made him as he is now. Funny how all of his memories in the rain are all painful events in the past. There was that time when he was nine and his mother was killed by a hollow. Now there's a memory that would be with him forever – as if he would forget the day when his mother was ruthlessly murdered. He can still feel her warn body unnaturally still protecting him, even though she had already died, her blood soaking his clothes only to be washed away with the falling tears from the sky as if it was only yesterday.
He couldn't protect her the way that he wanted to, and he has taken away the core of his family. Because of him, both his sisters had to suffer the pain of losing their mother when they were only four. He had take away their childhood.
He continues walking, the rain continuing to batter him, desperately trying to wear him down. He almost gave in. Almost. If he doesn't find something to believe in soon, he will give in. He needs to find it soon. But he still doesn't care.
Every raindrop is like another worry, another burden to him. Why does it always seem to rain on him, like there is a m miniature rain cloud above him everywhere he goes? He hates the rain still, not only for his mother's death, but for making him feel useless, when he couldn't protect her. He remembers how he fought those two professional shinigami, thinking that he could do anything to get her back, only to be beaten and left to die. How she rejected him and forbade him to come after her, putting her life on the line to save him. Why is it that whenever he tries to protect someone, he ends up being the one protected? Is he really that weak?
Hey, Master, you really are that weak aren't you? Letting that girlie upset you so much – you wouldn't think that you were one of the toughest shinigami around, would you now? The mocking words echo around his brain. All of his negative thoughts are letting someone unwelcome to him surface and place even more doubts into his head. He really doesn't not need this.
Shut up.
Ooh, Master, hit a delicate spot, didn't I? Let me at her, I'll kill her for you if you want. That would be fun wouldn't it, it'll teach her not to mess with me.
I said SHUT UP! Ichigo clutches his head in his hands, his feet coming to a standstill. He desperately tries to shut out the voice and shove it into a corner of his brain. After a few moments of struggle, he succeeds, and takes a few deep breaths.
He suddenly realises that the rain has stopped, and the sky is starting to brighten. He lifts his gaze from the damp pavement up to the grey sky to find that it is not so colourless after all.
A rainbow stands in the sky in all its glory, providing beauty after the dull greyness. From where he is standing, it looks like a stairway to heaven, a bridge across troubled waters. It brings happiness back to the world.
And most importantly, it reminds him that there is always a rainbow after the rain.
He hopes that there will be one for him.