Disclaimer: the usual.

Summary: Nami makes some money, Zoro and Sanji discuss talents.

Untie Me

As he came into the galley, Zoro almost slipped. He looked down at the puddle of blood on the floor, then at the cook lying almost unconscious on it, his nose bleeding profusely. He lifted his eyes to Nami, who was sitting on a chair with a smug expression.

"What the hell happened here?" Zoro demanded.

"Sanji and me were having a little bet, that's all," she replied in that faux innocent voice of hers, "I thought a womanizer like him would surely have acquired some… talents over the years." She blinked up at the swordsman, half inviting him to share the joke.

On this rare occasion, he decided to follow her lead.

"What sort of bet are we talking about here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I bet him 200 berri that he couldn't unfasten my bra under my shirt in one minute. He lost, of course, but…" she prodded Sanji with her foot, earning a quiet moan of 'Mellorine', "I think he rather enjoyed himself."

She winked at Zoro. The swordsman didn't deign to smirk, but his eyebrow rose a little higher.

"This is what I mean when I say you're a sea witch."

On the floor, Sanji's eyes fluttered as he returned to reality. The other two ignored him.

"You want to try, Zoro?" Nami smiled, turning just a little to offer him her back.

He scoffed.

"No thanks. You want someone to feel you up, I'm sure curly-brows here will be more than glad to do it."

"Oi!" said Sanji, fully revived by Zoro's insult.

"Oh well, if you don't think you can…" Nami shot Zoro a coy look, but the swordsman heard the challenge in her words.

He scoffed again.

"Please. You think I'm that stupid? I'm not falling for your damn tricks, witch."

"Just forget about this moron, Nami-swan, and let me discover the wonders that lie under your lingerie!" Sanji cooed, dancing around the navigator.

"You had your turn, Sanji," she returned firmly, "now it's Zoro's— if he's not too scared, of course," she said, fixing her widened eyes on the swordsman.

"I told you I'm not gonna fall for it," he retorted, eyebrow now starting to twitch.

Nami giggled.

"Oh, poor Zoro. What am I trying to do, corrupting your innocent mind with thoughts of underwear and…" she made a dramatic pause, "nudity!", she gasped exaggeratedly, a hand flying to her mouth.

Zoro opened his mouth to reply, but before he could—

"That's right, shitty swordsman. I bet you're so inexperienced you couldn't do it if you had all night."

"Look who's talking," Zoro retorted, "I thought you were an expert at these things, love-cook."

"So sad though," Nami interjected, "imagine if it were known across the Grand Line that the great Roronoa Zoro was defeated by a simple bra…"

"Che, defeated," Zoro muttered darkly, "'s just a stupid bet over some stupid clothes."

"Oh, poor marimo. Your ego hurt now?" Sanji mocked. "I wouldn't bother with him, Nami-swan. What would a virgin like him know of the intricacies of lingerie?"

Virgin. Virgin. That damn cook had the nerve to call him a—it was the last straw. Zoro stepped forward, his eyes dark, and grabbed Nami's shoulders.

"Fine. Whatever."

It couldn't be that hard, could it?

"Well well, no need to be so eager," Nami crooned, her eyes turning into berri signs.

She turned away from him and towards the egg timer lying on the table next to her, an evil look on her face. Zoro didn't like it one bit.

"All set, Zoro-kun?" she asked as she turned the dial. She stopped as it reached one minute.

One minute was more than long enough, the swordsman decided, and took the catch between thumb and forefinger. He then proceeded to try a deft flick of his fingers, which would snap the catch open and—

Okay, he hadn't really expected that to work.

He grabbed one end of the bra with each hand, and tried to pull them apart. He stopped when he heard the fabric straining; the last thing he wanted was to break the it and have to pay three times its price. He pulled one end up and the other one downwards, but they didn't budge. Zoro bit his lip.

Then he tried pushing them together. This seemed to have some effect, but it was hard to tell with the T-shirt in the middle. He tried to get his thumb around the folds of fabric to feel the buttons—or hooks or zip or whatever—and see if they were coming loose, but his finger was too thick and clumsy. He gathered some of the soft cotton between his fingers, trying to get more maneuvering space. He started sweating as he blindly tried to slip one end over the other. He pulled them both downwards, and—there! He had felt something giving way. He tried to pull both ends separate again, but there was still something holding them back. One of the clips was loose, but there was another one remaining. He frowned in concentration. He shifted his hands closer, right one over, left one under, tilted them upwards and—

"Time up!" Nami announced happily, as the timer went ding.

Damn. So close.

"That's two hundred berries for me, Zoro-kun!" Nami got to her feet and skipped away happily, "I'll just go write it down in my account, shall I?"

She practically danced out of the room, Zoro fuming at her retreating back. He knew she had been acting too nice.

Well, thought Sanji, that was fun.

"Wow. Impressive," he announced sarcastically.

"Not like you did any better, shit-cook," the swordsman snapped.

"At least I'm not a virgin," Sanji taunted.

The marimo just snorted.

"You got any proof, curly-brows?"

"You doubting my womanizing powers?"

"I'm doubting your intelligence."

"Pot calling the kettle black."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You just proved my point, moron."

"You're just envious 'cause I managed to get one clip off."

"Whatever. You're still a useless piece of seaweed." Sanji stood a few paces away, arms crossed and legs set.

The swordsman smirked and walked right up to him, his breath washing over Sanji's face.

"I prefer to say," how had Nami put it? "that the talents I have acquired over the years lie… elsewhere," he leaned in. Sanji felt a flurry of movement around him, too fast to follow, and heard a clink of metal on wood. Before he could register it, the marimo was out of the door. Feeling a sudden breeze around his legs, Sanji looked down.

Wondering what the hell just happened, he could only blink at the pants around his ankles.