The Awakened
Deepest and Darkest
Bulma's birthday party came … and so did the arrival of Lord Beerus; the God of Destruction and his attendant, Whis. They came in search of the Super Saiyan God, who made an appearance in the form of Goku. With the help of 5 other righteous Saiyans, Goku was able to reach God form. He also found out he was going to be a grandpa! Goku battled the God of destruction but lost the fight. Lord Beerus threatened to destroy the Earth but ended up falling asleep so Whis and Beerus returned to their planet, promising to visit again soon for some pudding.
This new-found challenge excited Goku and he wanted to train to get stronger so that next time he would have a better chance at defeating the God. It made sense either way as Beerus could threaten to destroy the Earth again so Goku needed to be ready to stop that from happening.
"Are you kidding me?!" yelled a furious Chichi, her teeth gritting together, and her hands on her hips in the middle of their kitchen. Goku stood away from her, his hands up in defence, a nervous smile praying on his face.
"But I need to train Chichi so that I can get stronger! Beerus will come back and I need to be strong enough to beat him this time!" Goku tried to convince her. Chichi frowned even harder if possible. Honestly, this husband of hers was such hard work! He had fighting and training on his mind 24-7 and it irritated her to no end.
"I don't care Goku! You promised me that you would work for 6 months and make this family some money! You don't even know that he will definitely come back!" Chichi shot back.
"Whis said they would be back though, Chichi!" he whined.
"For pudding Goku! Not to blow up the Earth!" she corrected him, folding her arms.
"But Chichi, this is really important! I need to get stronger, so I can beat him!" Goku again tried to reason, his hands still waving about in front of him.
"You left this family for seven years Goku! You finally come back, and you promised you would work and provide for this family. You promised me Goku!" Chichi reminded her husband, anger still evident in her voice, and also a hint of sadness. Goku cocked an eyebrow.
"Honey, I'm not going to be gone for long. Just a little while! I will work again when I come back, I promise!" he tried to reassure her. He lowered his hands and approached her and reached out a hand to take a hold of hers, but she turned away from him.
"Your promises don't mean anything" she spat, her back turned to him fully. Ouch! That hurt. Goku's eyes saddened as he approached her once again.
"Chichi, please don't be like this. I don't want to leave like this" he begged her, his strong hands resting on her petite shoulders. Chichi huffed and shrugged him off.
"You want to go? Then go Goku! See if I care!" she shot at him, exiting their kitchen.
"Honey" he called after her. Chichi ignored him and made her way to their bedroom. Goku sighed and followed her cautiously, making sure to take a peek in on Goten on his way to their room to ensure he hadn't been disturbed by their argument. Goten was fast asleep to Goku's relief. Goku entered their bedroom and closed the door behind him.
"Chichi, please don't ignore me" he begged again. He hated it when she did that, it made him feel so rejected and frustrated and he didn't know what to do with that frustration.
"If you want to go then go, Goku. I'm not going to stop you" she responded to him, picking up some of the clean laundry from their bed and putting it into the cupboard.
"But I don't want to go with you being upset with me" he stated sadly.
"I'm sure you will forget about it the moment you leave" she replied. Goku swallowed hard. That wasn't the answer he wanted to hear. He walked up behind his wife and tried once more to get her attention. He placed his hands gently on her shoulders and a sigh escaped her mouth.
"Honey -" he started.
"Are you even happy you came home, Goku?" she suddenly asked him, turning to face him. Goku appeared baffled and he simply stared at her for a few seconds, not sure if this was a serious question. Her eyes narrowed and burnt into his. She was serious alright.
"How can you ask that, Chichi? Of course I'm happy I came home" he responded truthfully.
"But you can't wait to leave again!" she raised her voice at him.
"Chichi, that's not true" he gently tried to assure her.
"Yes, it is! You do this all the time! You promise me a load of crap and then take off training, fighting monsters and then you die and decide not to come back for seven years!" she shouted louder, her eyes watering up as she did. Goku guiltily looked down at his feet. She really couldn't let that one go. He felt bad about that without her reminding him of it. Sure, he couldn't blame her for still being upset about it, but did she need to use that against him?
"You know I only did that to protect you" Goku murmured, his eyes still on the ground.
"Did you Goku? Or did you just want to get stronger again?" she questioned him in a low dark whisper, "because from where I'm standing it sure looks that way. You are so selfish, you never put this family first! How is Goten going to feel when he finds out his father has left him to train? And you have a grandchild on the way! How many more memories do you want to miss out on?!"
"But I'm not going to be gone for long, I already said that" he replied.
"You know what Goku? Just go" she brushed him off and headed to their bathroom.
"Chichi" he called in an urgent tone.
She switched on the bathroom light and turned to face him slightly, "I'm done talking to you. Go and do whatever you want. I don't care anymore" she replied before entering the bathroom and closing the door behind her.
Goku let out a frustrated sigh and hung his head dejectedly. He really did mean it when he said he wouldn't be gone for long. He wasn't planning on missing out on too much, especially with his grandchild on the way. Goku peered over at the closed bathroom door longingly. He knew it was no use trying to reason with her right now. She was never easily sold when he wanted to go and train anyway, so now wouldn't be any different.
Goku sat on the edge of their bed in deep thought. He needed to train, there was no doubt about that. He had to get stronger to keep his family safe. Sure, he thrived on learning new techniques and bettering himself, but his priorities were right where they should be. Regardless of how exciting fighting was for him and how much he enjoyed it, his family were always in the back of his mind and the importance of keeping them safe. It was always one of the things that drove him and spurred him on during a fight.
Goku knew money wasn't an issue right now, Mr Satan had sorted that out for them recently. He knew the crops would need tending to, but he could always pop in and keep an eye on them every few days and even stop and see his family. Maybe if Chichi had given him the chance, he could have explained that to her. He let out another frustrated sigh.
She really had missed him when he was gone for those seven years.
It made the guilt he already had, even bigger than before. She hadn't mentioned it in a while, probably because he hadn't left to go training and he was home every day. But when she did bring it up, it cut him like a knife. The regrets he had, the mistakes he made, there was no avoiding it.
Goku pulled himself up and started to change out of his casual jeans and shirt, replacing them with his Gi. He found it hard to get things off his chest, he always did. He was an open book in most aspects, but when it come to his deepest darkest thoughts and feelings, it was sometimes too much of a challenge for him to get the words out. He always had a barrier up to stop anyone getting too close, it's what he taught himself after his grandpa died. But Chichi, she was the only one that could pull that barrier down, but even then, it was a challenge for her. Sometimes that wall was too damn high, and she couldn't reach the top.
Goku was very protective of his family, especially his wife, but there was something in him that was sometimes even more protective of himself. Their friends would see Goku as happy-go-lucky and naive, sometimes stupid, but Chichi saw a whole different side of him which he still found difficult to divulge to this day. He sometimes wondered if it was a mixture of his trauma as a child and his Saiyan heritage. Vegeta always did say that a Saiyan never showed their weaknesses or their feelings, but hell, even Vegeta let that slip sometimes.
Goku still didn't understand what being a Saiyan was all about, he never really sat and thought about what it meant. It crossed his mind when he was fighting Frieza back on Namek, when he was pushed to the point where he swore he saw Vegeta and he told him to let go of Goku and become Kakarott, the Saiyan he was meant to be. It further become a part of him when he transformed into a Super Saiyan for the first time. He felt the undeniable need for a fight and the taste for vengeance. It was almost hard to control, he felt animalistic and it scared him to suddenly become something he had never known or felt before.
Goku had been scared at that point to lose who he believed he was. Chichi had noticed the difference in him when he returned from Yadrat, when they had heated arguments or when in the bedroom. There was something almost feral about him – he was harder, rougher and the things that would come out of his mouth…
She didn't complain much in the bedroom, but damn, she sure had something to say about it when they argued. Goku had talked to Chichi about it, to a certain extent anyway. It was hard to talk about. She was understanding of his Saiyan heritage and assured him they would figure things out together, which made him feel better about it, but there was always going to be that something there lurking inside of him … that uncertainty and unfamiliarity.
Goku left his bedroom and made his way into the kitchen. It was a constant battle with himself, trying to figure out who he was and what was the right thing to do. He loved his family with everything that he had, but there was an inescapable love for fighting that he couldn't let go of. He picked up two apples from the bowl on the kitchen table and peered around at the empty quiet room. He wanted to be here with his family and make them happy and provide for them, but he needed to fight too. There had to be some moral ground here somewhere.
He took a bite out of the one apple and put his two fingers to his forehead and concentrated on where he needed to go, and within a few seconds he was gone.
It had been 4 days since Goku had left, leaving an ugly pent up anger inside of Chichi. She knew from the day she married him that fighting was a priority to him, but she secretly hoped that things would change when he settled down and started a family with her. She loved him, there was doubt about that. She loved him with her heart, soul and very being. But honestly, that man got under her skin when he would leave and train all the time. More so now than it ever did. Those seven years really affected her in ways she couldn't describe.
All she wanted was for Goku to be around, which she had to admit was something that was happening regularly when he came back from the dead several months ago. But was she foolish for thinking it would last longer than that? That he wouldn't get the desire to leave again to train? She missed her Goku, so very much, was it so bad that she wanted him around?
Yes, she did push Goku to get a job and yes, she knew he found it hard. He had tried a couple of jobs which he could not stick to, but farming seemed to suit him down to the ground. He was very good at it, even if she did have to keep on his case on times, but he did a very good at it and was providing for them. She was very proud of him for that, and it was the first time ever in the long years of their marriage where Chichi felt remotely normal.
Goku was being a family man, helping her around the house, being a good father to both of their children and working on their crops. There were no threats to Earth, so there was no reason for Goku to fight. She knew he snuck in training here and there, but honestly, she didn't mind that. It's not like she could stop him, even if she wanted to, it was who he was. But to live a normal life just this once …
"MOOOOMM!" Came a loud call which distracted her thoughts as she cleaned the counter tops in the kitchen. Chichi jumped slightly and turned to face her youngest son, a questioning look on his cute little face.
"Goten, honey, you scared me. What have I told you about shouting in the house?" she scolded, more gently than she was intending.
"But mom, I did call you three times and you didn't answer me" Goten pointed out. Chichi cleared her throat, slightly embarrassed about her actions.
"Oh, well, I was just … thinking" Chichi told her small son.
"About what mom?" Goten asked, very curious of what had caught a hold of her full attention.
"Just grown up things, nothing for my little boy to worry about" she assured him, grabbing him and pulling his little body to hers in a tight squishy hug. She snuggled him and kissed his cheek, causing a little giggle to erupt from his mouth.
"Mommy" he tried to protest, but with no success. Chichi chuckled at him and put him down, ruffling his hair affectionately.
"Goten, you know I love you, don't you?" she asked him. He looked at her with inquisitive little eyes.
"Of course, I know mom, I love you too" he chirped back. She was melting from the inside out if that was indeed possible.
"How much do you love me Goten?" she questioned him sweetly. He thought about it for several seconds and then stretched his arms out as far as they could possibly go.
"Like this much momma! Or as a big as the biggest tree in the forest! Or as big as the biggest mountain! No, as big as the whole wide world!" he eventually decided, the most adorable smile on his face. She swore she just died.
Gohan could be so adorable, and so could her Goku, but there was something about Goten that brought her to her knees. He never failed to bring her spirits up and make her smile so wide it actually hurt. Chichi brought her youngest to her again in a tight embrace, causing another giggle to slip from his mouth.
"Mommy" he whined slightly, "I wanted to ask you something" he reminded her.
"I'm sorry sweetie, what did you want to ask me?" she gently questioned, still playing with his untamed hair.
"When's daddy coming home?" Damn it, how was it that easy to change her mood? That damned Saiyan husband of hers … "Mommy?" Goten got her attention.
"I don't know honey, but I'm sure he will be back soon" she answered, trying to reassure herself more than him, "Why don't you grab one of those chairs and come and help me with some baking?" she suggested, "Gohan and Videl are coming over later remember, and I want to bake a nice cake" Goten's eyes lit up.
"YAY!" He cheered, running over to the chair and pushing it towards the counter where his mother stood. "I love baking with you Mom" he admitted, yet again melting her to her very core. Her little Goten, her sweet little Goten.
Another two days had passed and Bulma had organised a small get together at hers, with some food of course. Chichi was in her bedroom trying on outfits, so unsure of what to wear. She wanted to wear something different to her every day clothes, but also something respectable of a mother and a woman her age. She settled for a subtle pink sleeveless summer dress which reached her knees and decided today she would wear her hair down … Goku always loved it when she wore it down … she stopped in her tracks. Pfft … as if he was going to be around to see it anyway. She started to pull her hair back into a ponytail when Goten walked in.
"Mommy, why are you putting your hair back up? You look so pretty when it's down" he confessed. Chichi awed at her son.
"You think I should wear it down Goten?" she asked him. Goten nodded eagerly.
"Yeah, I like it down mom!" he replied honestly. She couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked in his little brown chino shorts, white shirt and boots. Gosh, why was he so much like his father?
"Come on then" she began, "Gohan will be here any minute, we don't want to be late". Goten nodded eagerly once more and ran out of the room. She chuckled at his enthusiasm and took another look in the mirror. She studied herself deeply, wondering if she actually did look pretty like Goten had told her. Either way, she didn't have time to change now, she could hear her eldest pull up outside in his little car.
"Mommy, Gohan is here!" Goten yelled from the front door. Chichi rolled her eyes, seriously, how many times did she have to tell him to not shout in the house. She sighed and grabbed her shoulder bag and vacated the room, joining her children and a pregnant Videl outside. Today was going to be a lovely day, whether that man of hers was here or not.