30 Kisses
By Neech
Category: Hana-kimi
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance
Status: HK compilation of one-shots (4th chapter)
Theme:20 The Road Home
Pairings: Sano/Mizuki
Characters: Sano, Mizuki
Disclaimer: Sadly I own nothing but the clothes on my back.
Chapter IV
Red.
His dreams are painted red.
He wakes afraid, his body still trembling, his eyes hollow in fear- of what? He shudders, for he doesn't quite know… Until he realises where he is.
His nightmare is real.
His eyes tighten in pain as he takes in the whitewashed walls and the cold, sterile feel of the room, the small monitor that has begun to beep in unison with his heart, the small, slight figure in the white bed, the sheet covering her petite frame rising slowly… Falling slowly.
He is so scared.
And for a moment, the small figure in the bed is not the person he has known for twenty years, but his mother, hooked up to various machines of unknown purposes, the number of tubes coming out from her nose and mouth endless. Each breath is a struggle for one more moment of life, and everyone knows it.
He flinches, and the image disappears.
What lies before him is no less frightening.
A knock on the door, and a small girl with a familiar set of eyes steps in, her voice hesitant, a boy of no older than fifteen trailing in her wake.
"Papa?"
He opens his arms, his smile wan as she dashes forward to be enveloped in his warm embrace.
He looks to his son, his eyes questioning as he holds his sobbing daughter. "She just woke up, Dad." The weariness in his son's voice is obvious, the dark circles around his eyes hardly obscuring the puffiness of his eyelids.
He curses the fact that his children have to go through this, as he had, so many years ago.
His son mutters a string of curses under his breath and he cannot help but look reprovingly at him.
Looking pointedly at his sister, his son switches abruptly to Japanese. "Tou-san, I'm not sure how much Ume understands… I've tried to explain… But…" He breaks off and turns away.
It breaks his heart to see his children like this.
When his son turns back, his emotions are under control, his voice void of emotion. "Kaa-san isn't going to survive much longer, is she?" It is not really a question, for his son knows the answer.
An imperceptible nod, for he does not want to accept it either. He had hoped it would not turn out like this.
"Kenichi…" His voice wavers but his son smiles; a weak smile, but it is there.
"I know, Dad. I know."
-8-
"Sano. Koi."
He wakes to the soothing lullaby of her voice, the feel of a gentle hand caressing his cheek.
He meets her beautiful, laughing eyes.
"Mizuki?" He wonders why her face is so thin, wonders when she began to look noticeably older, to have creases lining her forehead and the skin on her forearms hanging off bone and little muscle.
And then he remembers.
His face crumples, and she strokes his face, hers still managing a heartbreaking smile. "Oh, Sano… Don't be sad. Don't cry, sweet…"
She reaches over, bony illness-ravaged arms encircling him, and he breathes in her scent, which still smells inexorably of her, untainted by the alien strangeness of the hospital.
His shirt is damp, and he knows she weeps with him, for him, for her family. For the fact that they will grieve her passing when she is gone.
She lets him go after a moment, her thumb gently wiping away his tears. "Where are the children?" She asks, mustering a teary smile. She does not say what she knows she must do.
I am going to say goodbye.
-8-
She is only thirty-seven is all he can think as he watches her stroke her children's sleeping faces, her own face overwrought with delayed emotion and pain. She has overexerted herself, and he knows it.
Her eyelids flutter slightly but she forces them open, and he knows she is fading.
She looks up, and he can see the fatigue in her eyes.
"I am so tired, Sano. So, so tired."
She reaches out, one hand grasping his, her thumb and forefinger stroking his palm.
She meets his eyes.
"I love you." She says simply, and he kisses her, blinking back tears as he treasures the taste of her kiss; of sweetness, peaches, honey and the taste that is just her. The only thing he cherishes that is sweet, and he will never taste it again.
She pushes him away gently as she tastes his tears. "Sano Izumi, I love you. But you have to let me go."
He protests, and she shakes her head, smiling slightly. After twenty years, he is suddenly too easy to read.
"I will not let you live the rest of your life in misery, Sano. You have the rest of your life ahead of you… Thirty, forty years left in your lifespan. Don't waste it mourning for me."
"In a way, I'm just returning home."
She is going, and he cannot do a thing.
She gives an exasperated sigh, leaning forward to rest her forehead on his. "Izumi… Listen to me. I may be gone physically, but I'll always be there to watch over you in spirit. I promise. I love you. And I want you to be happy. If you grieve for too long, I will be very unhappy with you." She gives him a mock glare and he cannot help but smile. She is too cute.
She leans back on her pillows, and he can see the exhaustion stark on her face.
"Look after the children… Give my apologies… to Julia, Nakatsu and the rest… Tell them… tell them I love them…"
Her voice is a mere whisper as she speaks. "Remember… eighteen years… ago? We danced together… under the stars… on a… night like this… Remember…"
Her eyes drift closed.
And he cradles her hand in his, tears flowing, for he knows this is the last time she will ever be conscious.
He waits for the monitor to stop beeping.
It is only a matter of time.
FinitoI promise a happier chapter for the next one.