A/N: Well, here it is. So again, I apologize for taking so long to update! Damn school. But now that's done (at least until September), so I'll update more Oh, and sorry for the slowness of the situation. I swear there will be Kogan soon, and more drama and fluff and smut and shit…
A week, then two, passed and Logan found himself getting more used to life in Shakopee. School was pretty much the same that it always was- if anything, the classes were easier. Life took a pretty steady pattern- drive James to school (they still hadn't bothered to get Logan a car), go to classes, eat lunch with Jenny and her friends, get glared at by Topher, try not to draw too much attention in art class, drive home (usually with Carlos and Kendall) and spend the evening doing whatever before calling Camille or Josh to keep them updated. Logan didn't really mind this pattern. He saw Brooke occasionally, but she mostly worked so Kelly looked after them. He had made a decent number of what he thought of as acquaintances. Jo, to Logan's dismay, hadn't taken a hint yet, though, granted, he rarely saw her. Meanwhile, his attraction to Kendall had unfortunately turned into a crush. He couldn't really help it. They just clicked well. Logan felt like he had known both Kendall and Carlos practically his whole life, and he found that he just generally liked everything about Kendall. He reluctantly admitted it to Camille, and she excitedly ignored his protests that Kendall was straight and James would kill him, so there was nothing to go for. Josh, on the other hand, took another approach.
"Are you sure he's one hundred percent straight?"
"Yes." Logan was becoming extremely annoyed with his friends. "What is with you guys?"
"Nothing, Logan. It's just that, for a gay guy, you don't have a very good gaydar. Need I remind you about Max? Or Lucas? Or-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. But he's my cousin's best friend. They're like brothers. It's weird."
"Maybe. But just relax, Logan. Don't go all neurotic on him, but don't bottle everything up."
"I don't do that…"
"Logan."
"Okay, so what do I do?"
"Just…let things play out. Don't listen to Camille, either."
"You don't think I know that? I may be gay, but I refuse to let my life turn into her own personal chick-flick."
Josh laughed. Camille was such a drama queen sometimes.
One lunch period, exactly two weeks into the school year, Logan was doing last-minute homework for art and asked Jenny if he could draw her.
"Sure. Do I have to pose or anything?"
"Nah, just keep eating or whatever. Just forget that I'm here temporarily." Logan didn't miss the way Topher looked at him across the table. He ignored it and took out his sketchpad.
When he was done, he showed her a picture he had sketched of her stuffing a piece of pizza in her mouth. He tried to capture the way, even when she was eating, she was brimming with energy and warmth. "Wow, Logan," Jenny breathed as she looked at the picture. "You actually made me look good."
"You do look good, Jenny." He took the book back, nervous about its fate when she was holding it.
She beamed. "Thanks, Logan. You're a really good artist."
When she got up to go talk to someone else, Topher imitated under his breath. "Oh yeah Logan, you can draw me in the nude any time. Oh Jenny, you're saw mediocre compared to the other chicks I do."
Logan snapped his gaze back to Topher from where it had been resting on Kendall. April and Luis hastily pretended like they were busy. "Dude, what the fuck's your problem?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, dude." Topher said in a nasty voice. Logan narrowed his eyes.
"I mean it. You've been giving me shit and death glares since the first day of school. Did I do something wrong?" He jerked his head back at Jenny and said, "Is it her? Got a thing for your best friend? 'Cause if you're not gonna do anything about it, she's fair game to anyone, not just me. Not that I'd go for it."
Topher snorted. "I knew it. You're just flirting with her to mess with her. You're just another manipulative player."
"So what if I'm a player?" He wasn't really a player…
"Tell me, how many girls have you gotten to drop their pants for you and then dumped? I had you pegged from the moment I saw you. You're a man-whore who gets pleasure from messing with people with Jenny and fucking virgins. You people are so easy to read."
Logan was sort of appalled that Topher thought all of this about them, but from Topher's tone of voice, he figured Topher was going through some shit and was taking it out on him. Still, that didn't give him an excuse.
Logan slammed his books down on the table, making April jump slightly. "Well I guess you're not very good at reading people, because I'm gay."
Whatever Topher was expecting him to say, it wasn't that. His mouth actually opened in shock. Luis looked up from his bag and April said involuntarily, "Really?"
"Yep." Logan didn't break his gaze from Topher's. "I'm a homosexual and would rather fuck a dude than Jenny 'cause she doesn't have a dick. Y'all have a problem with that?"
"No." Logan could tell that Luis was being honest and so was April as she shook her head. Topher still didn't say anything.
"I'm leaving." Logan got up and walked away, throwing out his lunch as he went. Then he walked straight up to Jenny.
"Hey, Logan."
"Jenny, do you have a crush on me?"
"Wh-what? Why?"
"Because I'm gay. I just thought you should know."
"Oh." Jenny was surprised but hid it well. "Oh. That's cool. I mean, I don't have a crush on you. And, I'm, you know, cool with it."
Logan nodded. "Cool. And I probably won't sit with you tomorrow."
"Why not?"
"Just a little disagreement Topher and I had."
"Over what? He's not being a dick, is he?"
"Sort of. But there's nothing to be worried about." Logan smirked across the cafeteria at where Topher was staring at the table while April reprimanded him. "I think he learned his lesson."
…..
Note passing and messing around in Chemistry had become a regular thing for Kendall and Logan. Kendall thought that, until hockey started at least, it was probably his favorite part of the day. As much as he hated it, he and had Logan had an undeniable connection. They got along great, had a lot of fun, and seemed to know each other inside and out, or at least pretty well for people who only had known each other for a couple of weeks. He tried not to read too much into it, because Logan and Carlos got along insanely well, too, but it was hard to not let his imagination run away with him…
"Mr. Knight!" Kendall jumped when Mr. McIntyre called his name.
"Uh…yeah?" The class laughed while Mr. Mac made a face.
"I was wondering if you could bother to get your head out of the clouds and tell me what K stands for on the periodic table."
"Um…potassium?" Kendall had at least bothered to do the homework for chemistry. He had already blown off statistics practically the entire week.
Mr. McIntyre just rolled his eyes as he went back to writing on the board while lecturing the class. Logan was shooting Kendall a face like, What are you thinking about? Kendall shook his head and tried to focus on the tiresome class.
This wasn't allowed. He wasn't supposed to feel this way. He had spent these last few years denying it, and it had worked pretty well, except for- well, that was a mistake and he wasn't going to think about it. Damn Logan for being so adorable and sexy and easy to like. He would probably be disgusted with Kendall for thinking about him so much and waking up in the mornings with Logan's name on his lips. Probably everyone would be, just like Dad.
When Mr. McIntyre told them to get out their materials, Logan turned to Kendall while he was getting the Bunsen burner situated. Kendall had been spacing out a lot lately, especially when they were in Chem it seemed, and though he was probably imagining it, he could swear every once in a while Kendall would glance at him and blush.
"Are you okay?" Kendall jumped slightly at Logan's question.
"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"
"Nothing, it's just that you've been staring off into space a lot lately. Is something wrong?"
"Uh, no. It's all good." Logan's eyes narrowed.
"You're a pretty good liar."
Kendall's mouth opened in surprise. "I'm not lying!"
Logan smiled. "Yes, you are."
"How do you know?"
"You have a tell."
Kendall's brow crinkled. "Really?"
"Yeah, it's not too noticeable, but it's there. I'm pretty good at spotting them, I'm great at poker. Now what's bothering you, really?"
"Well…" Kendall was still wondering what his tell could be. "I'm already doing really bad in statistics and we're only a few weeks into the school year." Not actually a lie.
"Seriously?"
Kendall groaned. "I know. It's not even that hard math, but I just don't get it. I suck at math. I probably shouldn't have been in Chemistry either. I'm so stupid."
"You're not stupid." Logan seemed to be sympathetic. "You're just not good at it."
"Easy for you to say," Kendall grumbled. "You're like a genius. Jenny told me you're the top of the class in Calculus. Like all of your classes are AP."
Logan felt a little flattered that Kendall thought so highly of him. Usually he tried not to bring up school in conversation because his friends back home- his friends in Texas got bored. "I'm not a genius. Stuff like this just comes easier to me, that's all. I bet you didn't know that I suck at English. Brings down my GPA every year."
Kendall snorted. "Seriously? But English is so…easy." Then he realized that was a tactless thing to say, but Logan just laughed.
"Not to me, it isn't. English is, like, the bane of my existence. James could tell you all about it."
"I guess." Kendall paused. "But I'm still failing Stat."
"Well…" Logan hesitated. Should he, or should he not? He decided to go for it. The worst that could happen was Kendall would say no. The best would be he got to spend extra time with a really hot and sweet guy. "I could, y'know, help you out, or whatever…"
Kendall looked at Logan. "Like…tutor me?"
"If you want me to…"
Kendall said "Sure," before he could even think about it. Damn it! he cursed in his brain. Now he would be stuck alone with Logan more than ever. Not that that was a bad thing, but it was for his sanity. "I mean, if you don't mind."
Logan grinned, trying to hide how happy he was about Kendall's response. "I don't mind at all." The bell rang before he got the chance to ask Kendall when he wanted to meet. Kendall packed up his stuff as fast as possible so Logan wouldn't notice how red his face was.
Logan wandered into art class aimlessly, simultaneously dreading and counting on what the class had in store for him. Though they had only been in school for a few weeks, it was becoming clear that Logan was one of, if not the, top students. He hadn't lost his talent from when he was younger at all. He was best at drawing things like people and other moving, living objects, though he wasn't bad at still-lifes either. Kristen had promised that later in the year they would get into new techniques, like abstract, painting, and maybe even sculpture, but for now they were mainly just sketching.
"Hey, Loges!" Kitten smiled brightly up at Logan as he took his seat next to Anthony. It had become a regular thing that he would sit with them and Goth Girl (Logan still didn't know her name, and it wasn't from lack of trying: nobody seemed to know).
Logan smiled back at her and greeting Anthony and Goth Girl before taking out his sketchbook to show Kristen when she got around to checking. For such an easy-going teacher, she really came down hard about the homework. "You should be able to find inspiration in everything; besides, drawing will relax you," she had lectured earlier on.
"What'd ya draw?" asked Anthony, leaning over curiously. Logan sighed and pushed his sketchbook to the center of the table so that they could look; this, too, had become a regular thing.
"That's that girl Jenny, right?" Logan swore he heard a hint of jealousy in Kitten's voice. "You hang out with her a lot, right?"
Logan shrugged. "I guess."
"She's hot," Anthony commented, almost as if it was an afterthought. "Total disaster, though. In the seventh grade, she stabbed me so hard with a pencil that it burst a blood vein, and then she spilled all of the hydrogen peroxide on it at the nurse's office. Burned like hell."
"Uh…she's not really that bad anymore." It seemed like every time he talked about Jenny with someone, they had a story about her getting into some sort of accident.
As Kristen began the class, Logan felt his mind wandering back to Kendall. Normally he tried to remain attentive in art, but he couldn't really help it, Kendall was just so damn captivating. He was so adorable, yet really really HOT at the same time. His skin, it looked so soft, and so did his plump lips…Logan would love to get lost in them. To run his hands through Kendall's dirty blonde mop. To stare deeply into his pale green eyes. God, those eyes… And he loved the way Kendall frowned when concentrating, it was too cute. Just like his ginormous eyebrows. The one thing that Logan hadn't gotten to admire in full was Kendall's body, just because he hadn't seen it. God, what he would give to see Kendall shirtless. He could feel his jeans tightening already and promptly decided to try and focus on the lesson again.
…..
The next day, Logan wandered into the cafeteria and bought his lunch before heading towards James' table. He hesitated for a moment before he got closer. Although he and Kendall and Carlos were all pretty tight now, he wasn't sure that the others wouldn't mind him being there. For all his outward appearances, Logan actually wasn't that sure of himself, and he was constantly second guessing what people thought nowadays, since last April. Then he decided it was stupid and just went over to where they were sitting.
"Logan!" Jo greeting, a bit too warmly, as he slid in next to Kendall casually. He groaned inwardly; she still had that stupid crush on him. "Hey, Jo."
"Joining us today?" she smiled flirtatiously, leaning across the table towards him. Kendall not-so-subtly rolled his eyes. Before he had asked her out, his ex-girlfriend had played coy and practically made him beg to go out with her. What was different with Logan, that she would be so forward? Well, Kendall could see the appeal, obviously, but...
"If you don't mind," Logan offered quietly. How could anyone mind you? Kendall wondered silently.
Meanwhile, Logan did a quick name-check in his head- there was Kendall, Carlos and James, obviously, Jo, the Asian chick was Lucy, the brunette girl was Stephanie, and the handsome guy at the end was Dak, from his Spanish class. He was pretty cool and they had spoken a few times, and damn he was good eye candy, but Logan could still think of one blonde that got him better.
The group resumed their conversation and Logan put his two cents in every now and then, just like he was one of them. Somehow, the topic turned into personal grooming, or rather, Carlos' lack thereof and James' excess.
"I'm telling you, Carlos, you could change everything about your looks if you let me put a little Cuda in your hair. Logan let me- even Kendall let me, once!"
"I won't let myself turn into your Barbie doll," said Carlos firmly, while the rest of the group laughed hysterically at his repelled expression.
James just kept ranting, oblivious to the laughter. "And those clothes, too! Honestly Carlos, they're wrinkled! Did you just grab whatever was on the floor?"
"So what if I did?" Carlos challenged.
James shook his head, frustrated. "I swear to god, one of these days I'm going to drag you to the mall and show you how to dress- and take care of you nails properly."
"James, man," Logan laughed, "your gay is showing." This was something James said to him a lot and it annoyed the fuck out of him, especially when James was right.
James snorted, getting the irony, but Lucy abruptly stopped laughing and turned towards Logan, rage in her eyes. "That's not funny. That's not funny at all."
Logan was a little taken aback by her reaction, but before he got the chance to say anything, she started ranting. "Gay stereotypes- and any stereotypes really- are completely untrue and it's prejudiced to even say stuff like that. Only ignorant dicks do. Maybe all you've ever done is seen an episode of Glee and thought that made you the gay man expert, but for your information, my uncle is gay, my friend is transsexual and I know more than one lesbian, and none of those stupid stereotypes apply to them. So if you have problem with that, or if you're gonna keep saying shit like that, you can leave now. No offense. (1)"
Logan, for one, didn't know what to say to that, and he got the impression most of the group didn't know either, but Stephanie sort of looked like she wanted to cheer Lucy on or something. Kendall, meanwhile, was thinking a mile a minute about Lucy's outburst. He knew she had gay friends, but he had no idea she was so supportive of gay rights. Maybe his friends would be more accepting after all. Maybe she knew what was going on with him. Not that there was anything going on with him, heh heh…
James looked like he was about to bust with laughter any second, and when he caught Logan's shocked eye, he couldn't help it- he did. He cracked up and had to put his head on the table while trying to breathe. Logan started laughing at the sight of James uncontrollable outburst and put his head in his hands, still totally weirded out by the awkwardness of the situation.
"What!" Lucy shouted, effectively scaring Logan shitless and bringing James out of his fetal position on the bench.
"Lucy… You do realize…" James tried to speak in between his giggles. "You just gave a lecture about gay people to a gay guy." He busted out laughing again.
Logan snorted and leaned over to flick James' forehead. "It's not really that funny, prick."
Jo opened her mouth but nothing came out. Lucy cleared her throat awkwardly and Logan looked at her with an eyebrow quirked.
"Uh…"
Logan laughed. "It's cool, Lucy. Can't say I've ever been given the no-mo'-homophobe speech, though."
Lucy blushed. "Sorry…"
Logan waved it off. "It's fine. I appreciate you sticking up for…my people." Logan paused. "God, that sounded weird. Forget I ever said that, okay?"
"Seriously? You're gay?" Jo sounded extremely disappointed. Stephanie and Dak both looked amused, Carlos looked slightly confused, and Kendall's expression was unreadable.
"Sorry to burst your bubble, Jo." Logan felt bad to let her down this way, but it was easier this way than waiting until she made a move- something Logan had great fear of. He turned back to Lucy. "And the thing about showing your gay is sort of an in-joke thing with me and James. He says it to me ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME."
"S-sorry." James was still giggling slightly.
Logan rolled his eyes. "Motherfucker." He threw a fry at James.
"Cocksucker." James retorted, dodging the fry.
"Pussy lover."
"Pussy fearer."
"We agreed never to speak of that!"
James cracked up again and Carlos scratched his head. "Okay, I'm lost."
"Dude." James grinned. "Logan is mostly fearless, but he has three things in this world that he fears more than anything else. One is giant spiders. One is, for some reason, being in a reality show with Joan Rivers, Chef Ramsay and Simon Cowell." Logan shuddered involuntarily. Who wasn't afraid of that? "And the third…his greatest fear of all… is vaginas."
The table collectively started laughing again while Logan blushed furiously. "It's not funny!"
"Are you serious?" Stephanie snickered. "You're really afraid of a girl's crotch?"
"Well, not really," defended Logan. "Just, you know, if it's unclothed and gets near me. They're fucking weird."
This comment amused everyone, especially when Lucy said, "I can't say I disagree with you."
The bell rang before they could discuss the matter any further, but as they were all packing up their things Dak turned to them and said, "Hey, don't forget, Mercedes' party is this Friday. You're all coming, right?" The group nodded and dispersed to their separate classes.
"Mercedes?" Logan questioned James as they walked along.
"Mercedes Griffin? You don't know her?" Logan shook his head. "Tall, blonde, hot in a scary way, gives the impression of a spoiled, stylish snob who can and will destroy you?"
"Uh… I think I would know who you were talking about if I knew her."
"Yes, you would. Long story short, her dad owns half the state, she's a rich bitch who gets what she wants, you don't wanna mess with her if you know what's good for you, and she throws the best parties in the tri-state area. Everyone goes, even the geeks."
"Thanks, James," Logan said sarcastically. He took personal offense to the term "geek".
"Whatevs."
As Logan rushed off to class, he thought that that had all gone over pretty well. James' friends were fairly cool, and Jo didn't seem TOO disappointed that he was into dicks more that vaginas (which he actually did have a slight fear of). When Logan had really been hoping for, though, was some sort of reaction out of Kendall, even if it was a bad one. Instead, he'd gotten nothing from the blonde. Either Kendall just had a really good poker face, or Josh and Camille's urging had gotten the better of him and he had imagined everything he thought they had. Kendall probably didn't care that much anyway.
What Logan didn't know was that Kendall did care. He cared a whole fucking lot, actually. He had managed to keep his face smooth and unsurprised through the entire "outing" of Logan, but it took just about all of his willpower not to jump Logan then and there. All he could do was thank the Lord that he hadn't had to outright lie and make Logan suspect something (he still hadn't figured out what his tell was, and not even his evil genius baby sister, Katie, had been able to figure it out for him.)
As Kendall slid into his seat, he desperately tried to distract his brain from Logan, but to no avail. He felt completely torn. One (large) piece of him was, as of this moment, on cloud nine doing a happy jig over Logan's professed homosexuality. One other significant part of him had sunken into the deepest pit of torture in hell, knowing he couldn't- and wouldn't- do anything about it. There was a small, rational piece of him that just wanted to let everything play out and not interfere, but he knew he shouldn't let that happen, he was already in deep enough. But was it too deep?
Oh well, Kendall thought to himself, more frustrated than he had ever felt before. I guess we'll just have to let the tutoring happen. It's not like it could hurt. Though a Friday night party filled with alcohol, pot and loud music, courtesy of Queen Mercedes, definitely could…
(1)- I know some people who (over)react to gay rights and stereotypes and shit like this. I can see how the comment James/Logan makes can be offensive though. I just thought, it's not so much if it's said ironically, right? Idk. I hope I didn't offend anyone.
Does anyone else hate the way gay people are depicted on Glee? That really fucking annoys me. Especially because some people are like, "Oh, it's such an accurate representation!" No, it's fucking not. It's not inaccurate, but not all gay guys are like that, okay? (Lol, here I am, pulling a Lucy.)