Cht 4

Is this what that is?

'Everyone is different and so PTSD develops differently from person to person. The differences occur due to each individual's nervous system and tolerance levels. Though commonly PTSD is developed hours after a traumatic event, it can occur weeks and even months after the event.

There are three types of symptoms:

Re-experiencing, which includes flashbacks, memories and nightmares.

Avoiding reminders of trauma, including avoiding certain places, activities or thoughts.

Increased anxiety and emotional arousal, including trouble sleeping, heightened irritability, hyper vigilance, difficulty concentrating.

Emotional symptoms include depression, worry, mistrust and emotionally numb. This can often lead to the patient seeking alleviation in extreme forms, i.e. substance (drugs, alcohol etc) or emotional (sex, self harm) addiction.'

Buzz...

Picking up her phone, "she just had another nightmare" The Machine informs Shaw. Swinging off the window seat, Shaw takes the clinical manual she was just reading and her phone as she walks through the living room to the breakfast bar. Spotting her work satchel, she places the manual into it and closes it before making her way to the bedroom. Spotting Root sitting up on the bed shivering, and then looking away from Shaw when she spots her, Shaw walks to her side and climbs into bed. As Shaw does do, Root had already laid back down, pushing her back into Shaw. 'Let them talk in their own time, don't pressure...' Taking a deep and slow breath in, then out, Shaw stretches her arm out slowly curls it around Root's waist. This prompts Root to quickly spin round and curl into Shaw, laying her head on Shaw's chest, listening to Shaw's heart beat, seeking more comfort.

'Self help treatment:

Exercise, to help move the focus from traumatic thoughts to focusing on their body, the movement and how they are feeling.

Relax. Spending time in nature as relaxation, seclusion and peace will help with the nervous system calming and hence alleviating anxiety and symptoms of PTSD.

Sleep, as lack of exacerbates anger, irritability and mood swings.

Helping loved ones with PTSD – let them talk in their own time, don't pressure, judge or take the symptoms from PTSD personally. Educate yourself about PTSD. Seek further professional treatment.'

Lying awake in the darkened room again, Shaw continues to feel the bed shake lightly as she continues to pretend to sleep, caught between whether to comfort or let Root ride it out. Shaw had hoped that by being married, the security brought from that would help Root alleviate her nightmares, and though there was a short respite, there didn't appear to be much progress. How could there be, they were still putting themselves in dangerous situations everyday. "Root," Shaw calls lightly.

Root takes a deep breath and moves from leaning on her knees to lying back and curling into Shaw again.

As Root finally falls asleep again, buzz...

Blindly reaching round behind her back with her arm, trying not to move too much, Shaw lifts her phone.

'Stage 2 organised, execute stage 3?'

Closing her eyes and sighing silently, Shaw acknowledges in a whisper, "yes."

'Confirmed' as She goes silent again, leaving Shaw to her thoughts.

Coming out of Carter-Turing Hospital, it was another long shift, 'why are there so many agents getting injured from running numbers, have to tell Fusco to keep them out of A&E...' Shaw fumes as she looks up and spots Root waiting casually for her, leaning on their SUV and smiling.

Stomping over to Root, Shaw lifts a brow.

"What, can't a wife pick her wife up from work?" As Root loops her arm around Shaw's neck and drapes her long limbs over Shaw, while Shaw stares back. Pouting, "we just got married, we need a honeymoon," as Root continues to ooze sweetness, hoping some of it will seep into Shaw's pores.

Hearing this, Shaw creases her forehead and looks towards the open passenger window. Right on cue, "woof" as Bear pokes his head panting in excitement.

"We couldn't leave Bear behind, he'd miss us too much" as Root places a hand on Shaw's cheek and guides Shaw's head and gaze back to her.

That pleading face, God Shaw hates that face, she may as well have held a gun to her head with that face. Cracking, "fine! But we're cracking a window and leaving the kid in the car!"

"Hey!" as the car shakes and Gen also pokes her head out the window next to Bear. "You have responsibilities now, Shaw..." Gen stops abruptly and looks up to the right of her head, thinking.

Both Shaw and Gen take a moment, 'OK, that sounded weird.' An issue that they will have to address later.

As Root pulls away, "nah-ah!" Shaw already having grabbed Root and pulling her back.

Smiling, Root grabs Shaw's hips and leans down to kis...

Shaw slips her hand down Root's jean pocket and takes the car keys before pulling away from her to walk around the back of the SUV to the driver's side, "where ever we're going, I'm driving!"

Root is left hanging, her head dropped to her chest. What does a woman have to do to get her wife's attention? As an image of Shaw splaying out on the hotel room bed pops into Root's head, never mind. Smiling at the thoughts, Root opens the passenger side front door as Bear and Gen jump back into their seats, and they were off.

Hitting toll booth after toll booth after...

"All the things sssshe said, all the things she said... All the things she said..."

Shaw looks through her rear view window to spot Gen singing to the passenger side door window as she looks out bobing her head merrily as her wireless headphones continues to blast in her ears.

"This IS not eeeeennoooougggghhhhhhh!" As Gen's head continues to bob, as Shaw tenses her shoulders and neck and cranes her neck, gripping the steering tighter with her hands.

"Woof, wooof... Wooooooooo" As Bear decides to join in.

Shaw's jaw drops open, "Bear! You were better than that buddy, what happened to you?!" Shaw asks as Bear pokes his nose through the gap between the two front seats.

Chuckling softly to herself, Root straightens her tilted head and goes to grab Shaw's hand from the steering wheel, holding it.

Who would have thought signing up to this would be so... Instant? Shaw contemplates.

Stopping, Shaw stands behind the SUV sighing as she stretches her neck, waiting for the service assistant to finish up refilling the fuel tank. She feels two hands on her shoulders, massaging them before being pushed abruptly into the back of the SUV, thud! As the vehicle also shakes.

The teenage fuel assistant, already watching them, smirks at the escalating display.

With her eyes still closed, Shaw leans her head back onto the SUV also, and smiles, waiting.

Returning the smile, Root places both hands on the back of Shaw's neck and pushes Shaw's lips forceably into hers as Root bites, kisses and sucks on Shaw, ravishing her. With such a long drive, the images of Shaw in the hotel room had now taken on it's own momentum and was now replaying on full cinematic mode in Root's head, looping, and replaying, looping and replaying as she pushes her hands down the front of Shaw's jeans and rubbing her as she continues to push Shaw hard into the SUV, breathing Shaw in as their tongues duelled.

From where he was standing, though he could not see the finer details, like a wet dream, the teenage fuel assistant's mouth hangs open from the implications of his very own 3D movie, completely forgetting where he was as his grip on the handle of the nozzle loosens with his mouth.

Tapping the fuel assistant on the shoulder, the teenager looks to a wavy haired teenage girl and he blushes, embarrassed. Seeing the change in demeanour, Gen nods her head towards the fuel, "oh!" As the boy snaps his attention back to where it's suppose to be. Click, he unhooks the nozzle, replaces it back on the fuel pump and looks at the display to confirm the cost before looking back at Gen. As Gen fumbles for the money, the teenager's eyes shift to the side, 'two women kissing...'

Unamused, Gen shoves the money into the assistant's hand, abruptly snapping his attention back to the job at hand, again. He takes the money quickly and just as quick, walks away. As he did so, he kept looking back over his shoulder.

Rolling her eyes, Gen opens the passenger side door and just before climbing in, "can you two give it a rest?! Let's go!"

Breaking the kissing with a smile, Root reluctantly pulls away, brushing down Shaw's shoulders as she does so, admiring and pouting like Root had just lost her prize, and walks to her side of the car.

Shaw watches Root walk away, her heart pounding hard into her chest, short of breath, her adrenaline pumping... 'Hot...' As Shaw slowly regains herself and manages to peel away from the back of the SUV.

They drive off as the dust kicks up and the sun begins to set.

"Woof!" As Bear pokes his head out the window and looks at the female German Shepherd.

"Grrrr, wroof!" As the professional German Shepherd barks back while sniffing around the car.

Finish flicking through the pages and looking at his colleague, who nods in confirmation after having finished walking round and examining the SUV with his work dog, "thank you Doctor Turing, you have a good journey now" as Border control hands back the passports to Shaw.

It was now pitch dark, and the roads got quieter as the roads got smaller, and more winding. They were close.

Turning off and pulling up along a dirk track, the SUV starts to shake at the uneven potholed track, and yet Gen still slept like a baby in a rocking cradle, unperturbed.

Root finishes looking at Gen, a smile so sweet it would made Shaw rolls her eyes had they not been so focused on the road ahead.

Bear starts to whine from the shaking.

"We're nearly there buddy" Shaw reassures, and hopes.

Coming around a bend towards another series of wooden lodges, a middle aged larger, round and tall woman waves them down, and Shaw stops the SUV beside her.

"Good evening! The women greats merrily in her casual jeans and work shirt, "welcome to Ontario, to Gara Falls Ranch." Seeing Root get out of the SUV and walk towards her, "and you must be Samantha, congratulations! You're agent informed us that you have just gotten marrie..." As the woman catches a glimpse of the driver, and looks back at Root with raised eyebrows before a warm smile again. Shaw now standing behind the SUV, opening the trunk lid and looking at the woman. "Dr Sam?" Before putting one and one together, and chuckling, "ah... Two Sams, how funny!" As she looks from Shaw back to Root.

Shaw just shrugs at Root as Root chuckles lightly and smiles back to the woman.

"Well it's late, let's not hang around shall we" before she moves the few paces towards Shaw, "I'm Alice, and I am one of the managers here at this ranch. Can I help you with your luggage?" As she moves towards the back of the SUV.

"It's OK" Root confirms as Shaw takes out two cabin sized trolley cases from the trunk, "we've got it."

Just then the passenger side door opens and Gen peers out, standing in the doorway while leaning on the door as her eyes are barely open, hair a little tangled and her headphones still hanging around her neck.

Seeing the open door, Bear leaps out instantly celebrating his freedom, "woof" as he runs towards Alice wagging his tail and panting in excitement.

"Hello" Alice greets Bear as she bends down and starts patting him, "let me see, you must be... Bear?"

"Woof!"

Standing on the other side of the door, "come on sleepy head, bed is that way" as Root tries to coax Gen from the car.

Whining and pouting, Gen stretches out her arms, just as Shaw carries the cases past Gen.

"Umph" as Shaw feels a sudden mass of extra weight now on her back, her neck being squeezed by Gen's forearms as Gen hangs lifeless on Shaw's back.

Unimpressed, Shaw stops while her eyes look ahead into the darkness, her expression unamused as Root stifles her laugh.

Looking back up to the family from Bear, Alice also stifles a little surprised laugh at the picture now in front of her, before snapping back into professional mode. "Looks like you have a bit too much extra weight there, let me help you with those" as Alice teases and moves forward to take the trolley cases from Shaw's hands and starts walking towards the lodge door, "this way please, this way" Alice calls as she walks up the wood chipped garden path outlined by wooden stumps and patio lights lighting their way.

Shaw lets out a sigh before proceeding to trundle up the path, following Alice.

Root, still suppressing her laugh, closes the passenger door and locks the SUV before following the others. They can get the rest of the luggage tomorrow when it's daylight.

"So... Here we are," as Alice moves further into the lodge, the air con and lights already switched on in preparation for the family's arrival. Even Bear's bowl was already filled with water ready to use, which Bear appreciated as he canters over and starts to drink from it. Satisfied, Bear turns and curls down into his bed, already falling asleep.

Having overtaken Shaw with ease, Root walks through the door into the large living space. It was a cosy lodge with it's soft couches, inviting pillows and blankets thrown along and over the couches, a soft rug next to the log fire, the cabin simply decorated with paintings bought from local artists, as is written on the plaques beside them, and the wooden dining bench table with modern but retro fitted kitchen. Even the colours within the cabin were soft on the eyes with it's pastel blues and greens. The pots and pans hanging on the rail above the sink clear to see, and the breakfast bar with a bowl of fresh fruit waiting to be eaten.

"Towards the far side is a veranda, you can sit out there and take in the views. In the morning you will get a better one of the lake, which you probably can't see at the moment" Alice informs as she leaves the trolley cases by one of the couches and moves towards one of the bedrooms upon seeing Shaw finally making it through the front door, Gen still dribbling on her back. "Over here is one of the en suite bedrooms" as she winks at Shaw.

To which Shaw moves more quickly towards it and then unceremoniously drops Gen onto the bed before standing up and instantly straightening her back again and stretching out her shoulders, relieved.

"And here," as Alice makes her way across the other side of the lodge "is the master en suite bedroom" she shows proudly as she lifts her hand to present the space. "I'm sure you will find it very spacious. Anything you need just let us know, we are in the first hut building you passed on the way up here. Breakfast, lunch and dinner is also served in those huts should you wish that service. Now do you require anything else..." As Alice cuts herself off as she turns her gaze back to the couple. Root's head was now leaning on Shaw's as she gazes down adoringly at her while embracing Shaw's waist. Shaw was left staring at Alice. Smiling, "I shall leave you both. If there is any further questions, just pick up the phone, it connects automatically to the front desk" as Alice knowingly moves past the pair to exit the room. "No need to move, I shall show myself out, good night."

Looking towards Alice's back, "good night" Root calls in response as she hooks and drags Shaw to the bed, and pushes her onto it.

Wasting no time, Root pounces on top of Shaw, however Shaw had already counter acted and is now bear hugging Root with her iron grip, and pulls them both down onto the bed.

Lying side by side, embracing and gazing at each other, Root watches as Shaw struggles to keep her eyes open before finally and slowly they flutter shut and Shaw's breathing slows, her body relaxing as the embrace loosens.

Disappointed that Shaw had fallen asleep Root took pity as she brushes over Shaw's cheek and pushes a strand of stray hair behind her ear. With the long shifts at the hospital, broken sleep from Root's nightmares and looking after their now family, Shaw must be exhausted. "Goodnight Sameen" Root whispers as she pulls a blanket over them and continues to gaze until her eyes too, got too heavy.