Chapter 3

~June 4th, 2009~

Looking in the mirror, I wrinkle my nose. Since I could remember, I've had a high metabolism and never gained unnecessary weight. Therefore, this new predicament was quite foreign to me.

Do to the fact that I was pregnant with twins, I was twice as huge compared to another 5-month pregnant woman with one child growing inside her. It is strange having all this extra weight and strange cravings. It makes me understand other women that have been through this.

With a smile, I realize how excited I'll be once the twins are born, but then I frown. The decision has been made to give up one of them. Even though I want both children, it is inevitable. I hope the one we give up forgives us. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if they were to hate us.

I sigh and let my shirt fall over my pregnant belly. Edward and I decided to do a closed-adoption. If we do an open adoption, we'd be upset over how happy the child would be with their adoptive parents. I don't get why parents that do open adoptions don't fall apart at the sight of their happy child, whom isn't joyful because of them. All they did was give the child the burden of being an adopted child.

I really do need to stop being so mopy. I don't want to accidentally cause any problems.

Turning towards the clock hanging on the wall, I check the current time and leave the comforts of my bedroom. Edward said that he was going to pick me up at noon so we can go get the ultrasound and eat dinner together before he had to go back to work.

The ultrasound we're having this time was going to tell us the sex of the twins. I was excited to be finding out this important piece of information. It would tell me what I'd need to buy for the child we'd be keeping.

I still can't get over the concept of giving the other child away. It seems cruel, as if we don't care what fate has in store for it. Nevertheless, its how it is, I guess.

I walk out the door into the humid June air to see Edward pulling into the driveway. My mouth stretches into the shape of a smile while my heart begins to shrivel.

Once again, Edward and I sat in the same room as Dr. Daniels began the ultrasound.

The doctor already knew the decision we'd made and didn't try to convince us to do otherwise. I was glad. It's already hard enough to deal with the thought of not being able to raise both of my babies.

Dr. Daniels turns to us, a kind smile on her face. "According to the ultrasound, the twins are both girls."

~June 10th, 2009~

As I sifted through the pink baby outfits and other clothing, I smile slightly. Today, I went out with Rosalie and Alice to start shopping for the twin we'd be keeping.

I was certainly happy to find out they were both girls, but something about that fact made me wonder if this could actually work.

Alice sees my sudden mood change and comes over to me, placing a gentle hand on my tense shoulder. "Don't worry. We'll be here for you every step of the way. If you think this is the right thing to do, then it is. I'm sure she'll understand."

So that was what was bugging me. I was worried about the given child once she found out she was adopted. I've heard stories where the child tends to hate their blood family. I didn't want her to hate me. Never would I even place that type of hate on my worst enemy.

Looking at Alice, I give her the best smile I could muster. "Thanks Alice. I hope she really will understand."

Alice nods and Rosalie stands beside us, a smile on her face. In that moment, I could feel so much love for me emitting from them. I'm so lucky to have them as my best friends.