My eyes pop open.
When did I fall asleep? I sit up and look at my clock- 9:28. I'd only been out for half and hour.
My stomach growls- I haven't eaten all day, so I go downstairs, knowing father should be at his office now- he's almost always there, working on some new political strategy to use. He must prefer that over being in the same house I'm in.
I was right either way- my older brother, Kankuro was the only one present. He was eating a box of pizza by himself.
"Oh…hey, Gaara," he says when he sees me. "You, uh, you want some?"
I shake my head and he hands me a piece. He out of everyone would know how little time I spend in the kitchen(author~ Kankuro's a little chubby).
We eat in silence, as usual. There isn't much to talk about with my siblings- we have very little in common.
"So," he forced out awkwardly. "Heard you were with a friend, huh? That must've been pretty fun…"
I get up to exit the room after finishing my third slice. "No more than expected."
"That's good…I guess," he said to himself.
I hop on my bed and stare at the darkness. I appreciate the little moonlight shining through my window so that I can still vaguely see things.
I lie there for a while, listening to the many sounds of nature. Nocturnal creature singing their tunes, the wind rustling trees, it was all very peaceful.
However, my mind wanders to the past, as it does when I'm not really thinking. I bolt up when I realize this and exit my room again. The lights are off downstairs now, so I assumed that Kankuro retired for the night. Since no one is around to stop me, I leave through the front door casually. Father hates when I do this, roam around at night, but I can't fight this feeling of restlessness any other way.
The night air greets me happily, blowing my hair off my forehead and sending a slight shiver down my spin.
I look down both ends of my street and decide to just walk along the road.
The quiet sooths my nerves and I find myself relaxing more and more as the stroll progresses. I close my eyes briefly and flex my fingers to further relieve the tension I had built up.
"I wonder…" I find myself musing aloud, "what he's doing…" Of course by 'he' I was referring to the blonde. I'm just curious to know whether he's upset or not- I find his sorrows to be more interesting than my own, that's all. I know why people say I'm depressed and I can tell that other "depressed" teens are just blowing things out of proportion, but that blonde…he tries to hide it all. He tries to seem normal.
Others our own age might try to end themselves for attention or because they're too weak to deal with the pain of life. He insist on hiding that pain, though he obviously wants the attention. He isn't stupid enough to take away his life just for it- he's trying to work his way up for it. I respect that.
Personally, I have thought about killing myself, multiple times during one day every day, but I don't think I deserve to take away another life, mine or otherwise. It's bad enough I killed my mother not a minute after my birth, then my uncle years later; I'm going to Hell anyway, I see no need to add suicide to my list of sins.
I notice my surroundings after aimlessly wandering around for a good hour.
Somehow, I was in Konoha, at the park that Naruto told me he frequented. It was actually very nice at night. The street light gave it an eerie glow that I liked and the wind blew the swings ever so slightly that one would think a ghost was playing a trick. Very nice scene.
I take a seat on the swing closest to me and move slowly back and forth. This place feels…comfortable. I could see why a child would come here when they were troubled- well, if that child had no where else to turn.
"Gaara?"
I freeze at the sudden voice. I didn't hear any footsteps approaching nor could I see where the voice came from. The voice was too soft for me to fully recognize, but I assumed it was Naruto. No one else knew me.
I don't answer either way. The person steps out from the dark shadow. It was indeed Naruto, but he was even more battered than before.
"Gaara? Why are you here?"
"Why are you here?" I challenge.
"Be-because I always come here when I need to think. And I live in Konoha," he answered slowly. The usual chipper tone in his voice was gone, leaving an empty, monotonous one in its place. "Why are you here?"
"I'm here for no particular reason."
He looked skeptical. "You walked over to the next town at midnight just because you felt like it?" I shrug. He does also and takes a seat next to me on the other swing. "You are a weird one."
"Some may say. But you have a lot of nerve."
He chuckles. "I guess that's true."
I stare at him. I decide to ask a question that's been on my mind. "Why were you crying?"
The blonde grows stiff, then forces himself to relax. He smiles his broken smile. "You can tell, huh? I was hoping no one would notice, y'know. It's not very masculine to be a crybaby."
" I noticed earlier, just thought not to ask would be more appropriate for the situation."
"What makes this situation any different?"
"This is a chance meeting, not scheduled, therefore I am free to ask what I want."
Naruto nods. "Well, it's complicated to explain. You know…I've cried so many times, some times I just can't remember why…" He looks me in the eyes. " Do you know the feeling when you just get so tired of everything? You just break down and cry. Like it's the only thing you can do."
I do know the feeling, though I won't admit that out loud to another.
"It might've been over the beating I got form those guys. They got me earlier, when I went out to get some more food. They got me good. Took my food and everything."
"Why didn't you fight back?"
"They had weapons this time." His blue eyes got watery. "I can't afford to go to the hospital, and if they left me there, no one would even bother to get help." A single tear slid down his bruised face. "I probably won't be back to school for a while too. I don't want to have to go through shit about this," he gestured to his face.
My heart hurts. Really bad. Why? Yet, at the same time, I'm feeling a fire ignite through my body.
What's this feeling?