Chapter 4

"What? As in John Fenshaw?" I asked shocked. Why would his lawyer be looking for me?

"Don't look so panicked Olivia. I know all about the history between you and your father. Sadly, Mr. Fenshaw was hit by a truck 2 weeks ago in his drunken state. He passed away moments later. I have these for you. Please call the number when you are ready to talk." I took the 2 envelopes off him and watched him walk away.

"Liv? Olivia? Shit, you've gone into shock." I could hear Madi talking to someone on her mobile. I don't know who and I don't care.

The man who made my mother kill herself. The man who made me blame myself when he left. The man who tied my shoe laces for me when I was younger. Who always stole the last slice of chocolate cake or pushed me too fast on the roundabout at the park. Who always tucked me in at night even if he was drunk, who made up beautiful, magical stories to tell me, who probably doesn't remember the beginning of my childhood because he was too drunk, who doesn't know the rest of my childhood because he refused to acknowledge I'm alive. He's died. Why did it take 2 weeks for me to find out? I should have at least tried to stay in contact with him. He still my dad, although he's a waste of space. Have they had the funeral yet? Did he even know anyone but Janette to go to the funeral? Was he still in a relationship with Janette?

I felt some arms wrap around me and looked up to see Finn. Lauren was stood next to him asking Madi what happened. Finn started murmuring things into my ear and after a while, I finally relaxed into him.

I felt Finn lift me into his arms and start walking. I didn't make any effort to move, I just hid my face in his school blouse.

"Where are you taking her Finn?" Lauren asked worriedly.

"We'll go to my house because it's closer than hers. Then I'll find her phone and ring Rachel on it. God knows how we'll explain though. Is it really up to us to say what happened?" Finn asked.

"Well if we don't, Olivia will have too, and to be honest, she's not even out of shock yet. If we leave it to her, she'll probably break down." Madi told him quietly.

When we reached Finns house a couple minutes later, I was placed gently on the couch as Finn taken my phone out of my blazer pocket. I stared at the ceiling examining the pattern. Anything to take my mind off my father. Trying to focus on the good years with him is harder than focusing on the bad.

Five minutes later, Rachel was at the door, I could hear Lauren quietly explaining what had happened. Rachel came in and sat on the couch next to me, the others went upstairs to give us some privacy.

"Hi Olivia." Rachel said gently.

"Was I a bad daughter? How could I have not known for 2 weeks he was dead?" I whispered, my voice cracking at the end as I broke down in sobs.

Rachel pulled me into a tight hug as I buried my head into her cardigan. She must feel the same way. I realised. She did not know dad was dead either. But he kicked her out when she was 15. The same age as I am now. Rachel never even told me why he kicked her out. Or where she went. I didn't even know I had any older sisters until Rachel was found after mum's death. I breathed in and tried to pull myself together. If Rachel could stay strong, so can I.

"Shall we go home and talk over a hot chocolate? I bought some cream to put on the top when I went shopping today." She said softly.

I nodded my head and Rachel told me to go wait in the car. I sat in the passenger seat, with both envelopes still in my hand. I think Rachel went up to thank my friends, after a few minutes, she came down and drove us home.

When we got home, Annie was sat watching telly. She must have been in when Rachel got the call off Finn as she looked really worried.

"Come on girls. Let's have a hot chocolate." Rachel said in a happy voice that sounded fake even to my ears.

"Olivia, if what the man said is true, ill phone round people from Manchester, I'm sure someone round there would have heard if a lorry smashed into someone. I suppose you can both have tomorrow off school to come to terms with this. If any of you need to talk, I'm always here for both of you." Rachel said softly, taking control of the situation.

"Am I okay to go in tomorrow? I feel quite guilty, I blocked all of my friends out today." I said softly.

"Honey, I'm sure they understand. I think Madi nearly went into shock with you! If you're sure you can handle going in?" Rachel said concerned.

"I want to go in too, I never even met him. And Olivia, you can talk to me too, you're my baby Auntie- as weird as that sounds… just, come see me if your upset yeah?" Annie put in, smiling at me.

"Thanks, I'll see you in the morning, I'm going up to bed." I said softly, leaving the full cup of hot chocolate on the table.

When I got in my room, I opened the letter with my father's handwriting scrawled on the envelope.

Dearest Olivia,

I'm writing this letter to you while I'm in rehab. I no longer know your address but I hope you read this one day.

I apologise for leaving you and your mother. I know now that it was the biggest mistake of my life. If I could turn back the clocks and give you one more goodnight kiss, I would do anything.

There's something me and your mother did not tell you. You have two older sisters. There's Amanda and Melissa. I have three beautiful daughters and do not keep in contact with one of them.

Please forgive me Olivia. I did not mean to hurt you in any way, I have been told what happened that fateful day. If I could do anything to stop you from seeing your mother like that. I would.

I am released from rehab this week. I've left Janette.

I love you baby girl. Never forget that.

Daddy

I put both envelopes to the side of the bed. Why could I have not simply sent him my address? He must have started drinking again when he got out. Is that my fault? Maybe if I made some sort of contact with him, he might not have turned back to the drink.

And If he didn't turn back to the drink, he wouldn't be lying in a coffin right now.

I love you baby girl. Never forget that.

Thanks for the reiviews again Maddiejean95, FeeDob26 and Celticgirl84! i was asked to a bit of Rachel/Olivia in but when i picture Olivia, i always view her as a very independant girl who doesnt like having heart to hearts if that makes sense? I think it suits Olivia more to confide in her friends like i do with one of mine! i will try and put a bit of Rachel/Olivia in the story though!

X

Stars-In-The-Eyes