Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its subsidiaries.

AN: I haven't had this much fun in a while. I decided to write as much as I can before my inspiration drys up. Or until I forget the original idea. Whichever comes first.

XxXxX

It was almost an hour and a half later when their sensei fearfully peaked into the classroom again. After another 10 minutes spent explaining and apologizing, the group got on with introducing themselves to Kakashi. Nowhere near as detailed as they were to each other, especially after the brief introduction their jounin instructor gave that had no details whatsoever.

"Well," Kakashi did his strange smile using only his eye and the few folds that were visible on his mask, "I guess this wraps up things for today. Meet me tomorrow at training ground seven at five A.M. for the test that will determine if I keep you on as my team or send you back to the academy. Don't eat breakfast if you don't want to throw up. Ja ne!"

The jounin vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving the genin to stare at each other. "Does he think we're stupid?" Sakura asked. "I mean, 'Don't eat if you don't want to throw up'? We're going to need the energy if it's anything that physically demanding."

"You make a valid point," Sasuke agreed. "Why don't you two swing by my place for breakfast at four? Then we can try to come up with a plan."

"I don't believe it," Naruto said in disbelief.

The Uchiha cocked his head to the side. "What's wrong dobe?"

"This entire time," Naruto said, "we weren't talking to Kakashi-sensei."

Sakura looked confused. "What do you mean? He was right there this whole time."

"But it wasn't really him," Naruto said. "It was, but it wasn't."

"Care to explain?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto sighed and made a hand sign, crossing his first two fingers of one hand behind the first two fingers of the other. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" With a puff of smoke, another Naruto appeared behind the original. It waved briefly before vanishing.

"I don't get it," Sasuke said, causing Sakura to nod with him.

Naruto repeated the process, creating another clone. The clone then picked up a small rock and tossed it at Sasuke.

The raven haired boy's eyes widened. "That's a solid clone!"

"What?" Sakura asked in disbelief.

Naruto watched in amusement as his teammates practically molested his clone, trying to find what the limit was. He decided it was weird when two pairs of hands strayed uncomfortably close to his clone's crotch. Dispelling the clone, he finished his explanation.

"Due to the clone's construct being entirely made of my chakra, I get the all the memories it got between when it was made and when it dispelled," he stated. "Also, no more molesting me!"

His teammates had the decency to look abashed. They spent the next couple of hours just talking about their pasts and more things they were interested in. They found out that they had a great deal in common.

"Hey, instead of coming over tomorrow, why don't we all spend the night at Sasuke's that way we can have more time to plan?" Sakura suggested.

"I don't see a problem with that," Sasuke said. "I haven't had a sleep over since..."

He was caught by surprise when he was caught up in a group hug by his compassionate teammates. The last loyal Uchiha couldn't suppress a rather odd giggle when someone's hand brushed his side the wrong way. His recent feeling of comfort turned to one of dread as Naruto and Sakura shared an evil look.

"Why, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said in an odd tone, " why didn't you tell us you were ticklish?"

"Yeah, teme," the blonde played along. "Don't you trust your teammates?"

At that very moment Sasuke could safely say that no, he did not trust his teammates. Sadly for him, he was still in the middle of the group hug. He prayed for mercy before his torture began. Anyone passing by would have heard laughter, but would not have known just how involuntary it truly was.

XxXxX

Hatake Kakashi, elite jounin, former ANBU captain, arrived at training ground seven at roughly seven twenty-five AM. He had tried to make it on time, but his morning ritual of talking to the precious people who had passed and had their names carved into the memorial stone had once again taken up far too much time. Never mind the fact that said memorial stone was on training ground seven. That was entirely irrelevant.

When he arrived, he was pleasantly surprised to see his genin already working together to walk up a tree, a basic yet vital skill for a shinobi. He didn't even think to ask where the genin had learned of the technique.

"Good morning, my cute little genin," Kakashi greeted with an eye smile.

"Oh, Kakahsi-sensei!" Naruto replied. "I didn't see you there. We thought you had forgotten all about us."

Sasuke turned to give a short wave before he and his blonde compatriot resumed walking up the tree. Sakura gave a menacing smile. "We decided we were going to train ourselves for a little bit before reporting the absence of our jounin sensei. I'm so glad that we didn't have to do that after all."

If the jounin was at all shaken, he didn't show it. "Maa maa, I got lost on the road of life," he explained simply.

"Does the Hokage actually let you get away with that excuse?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

Kakashi thought about it for a second. "Hmmm, yes actually." He was visibly startled when all three of his genin were prostrated before him, as if worshiping the man.

In unison the genin spoke. "Teach us, O great and wise leader! Teach us your ways, that we may one day be able to walk with you with pride."

The cyclops scratched his cheek as he looked away bashfully. He completely missed the shared look of his genin. Within moments, he was bound and gagged, with his hands apart to prevent him from making hand signs. How they were able to gag him without removing his mask was beyond him, and probably them as well, but they did.

"You tried to make a mockery of us," Sasuke said solemnly.

Naruto recited the next line, "Our retribution is swift, and your punishment will be severe."

"There will be no mercy," Sakura intoned.

Then all three continued in unison. "May Kami-sama, and her ever faithful servant, the Log, have pity on your soul, though they not save you from your fate."

Deciding he had had enough, the masked nin started to gather his chakra for a sealless kawarimi. He was again forestalled as one of his 'cute little genin' placed a rag to his face. His eyes widened as he recognized the scent, just before it took effect. 'Where did they get chloroform?'

XxXxX

"And when we pleaded with him, he merely responded with, and mind my french, 'Fuck the police.' And then he proceeded to tilt every painting on the way here," Naruto explained to the old man in Hokage robes. "Finally when his guard was down, my teammates and I subdued him and finished bringing him in." Sakura and Sasuke merely nodded in agreement.

"And that's the story you're sticking to?" Hiruzen asked.

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Sasuke said.

With a sigh, Hiruzen waved his hand and the bindings around Kakashi fell off, and the gag vanished entirely. "Now, what is the truth of the matter Kakashi?"

Seeing his chance for revenge, Kakashi gave out the complete true story, as accurately as he remembered it. "I had arrived at training ground seven at the time I had asked my genin to arrive. They had started to train themselves before I revealed myself to them. When I finally did, they caught me off guard and managed to take me down through trickery, though as a veteran shinobi I should have known better. Then I awoke here. I do profess to be slightly concerned about their mental state, however."

"What was your plan for Team Seven?" the Professor asked.

Kakashi again answered frankly. "I was going to administer the bell test to attempt to divide them amongst each other to test their teamwork."

"That's bullshit!" Naruto exclaimed, before being fixed by the stern eyes of his sensei and his village leader.

The Hokage inclined his head. "So what is your overall impression of your genin team?"

"Frankly speaking, they're monsters. I did not even get to see their true combat skills, and they were able to catch me off guard," Kakashi said. The genin blushed as if being called monsters was a compliment. For them, coming from Kakashi, it probably was. "However, their teamwork was impeccable. I can safely say that Team Seven passes."

"Woohoo!" Naruto exclaimed, jumping into the air.

Hiruzen smiled. "Out of the forty-seven teams you have been given, this is the first to pass. I expect great things from them Kakashi. Do not disappoint me."

"Hai, Hokage-sama!" Kakashi said, rendering a sharp salute.

Sakura turned an odd pale color. "Forty-seven teams, and we're the first to pass? We could have been failed that easily?"

"Being a ninja is not easy, Sakura," Kakashi said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It is only for those who have a commitment to excellence."

"Like all the mediocre chunin who don't try to progress to jounin?" Naruto asked innocently. Well, as innocently as a renowned prankster like himself could.

Completely ignoring the hyperactive member of his team, the jounin turned to the Hokage. "Hokage-sama, I would like to request my teams first mission now, if that is alright with you."

Hiruzen arched an eyebrow. "Of course Kakashi-kun. What did you have in mind?"

With an evil chuckle that set his genin on edge, Kakashi responded with a single word, or rather name. "Tora."