Volunteer Angel – Chapter Four – Secrets

Westerville, Ohio - Anderson house - Summer 1965

"When are your parents due home?" Buddy asked, lounging on Andy's bed. He was lying across the bedspread, wearing just a summer-weight shirt, which was unbuttoned, and a pair of linen shorts.

"Not for another six weeks. Mom called last night to tell me about some resort they were visiting where the car broke down and they had to have it towed. Aunt Esther threatened to come home, but they talked her out of it," Andy explained. "Dad said they are not cutting their vacation short because of a little car trouble – so he bought a new one."

Buddy laughed. "Serious?"

"Yeah. You've met my dad...you know how he is," Andy grinned. His dad didn't have much patience.

"Andy?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we going to tell them? About us?"

"No. It's nobody's business but ours. We can move somewhere, maybe? Fire Island or San Francisco?" Andy suggested.

"Yeah. I'm scared, Andy. Really scared. You've seen the news...what can happen. This might be 'the time of love', but that just means for them, not us," he said, dropping his head into his arms and hiding his face.

Andy got up off of the chair he was sitting in, walked over to his bed and sat next to Buddy.

"Hey, don't think like that. We are grown men, and what we do behind closed doors is nobody's business. We can be together – we're together now," he said very softly. He put a gentle hand on Buddy's back, feeling the strong muscles through the thin cotton.

Buddy turned over, his face a picture of misery.

"Andy, we are in your parents' house and while I love being here with you, what is going to happen when they get home? Do you honestly think your folks are going to be clueless about us if I move into your room? They already think we spend too much time together – they won't be happy if I live here with you under their roof."

Andy sat still, knowing Buddy was right. He needed to look into some things, do some thinking. He knew one thing for sure: now that he had Buddy, he was never going to let him go.

"I have some things to work out, but I was thinking I might move out. I'm thirty-three for heaven sake...I'll get an apartment and we can live together. As roommates. What do you think?" he asked.

"Ah...that sounds good? But you don't even have a job. You quit the bank in April – what are you going to do?" Buddy asked.

"I want to sing. Money isn't a problem, I have the trust account Grandpa left me and since I live on the dividends, it will be enough. I want to sing and play my guitar and write music. I have three dozen songs that I've sent out to music agencies. I know I can do this," Andy said with confidence.

"Okay. I still have my job – maybe it will work," Buddy said, believing it for the first time.

He moved closer to Andy, touching his cheek with his index finger and drawing a line down to his lips. Andy closed his eyes and Buddy's lips met his. He sighed, thinking to himself that this...this was what heaven must feel like.

"Buddy?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to ask you something," Andy said. It was later that night and the two of them were in their underwear, under the sheet on the bed and looking out the French doors to the balcony of Andy's room.

"Anything..."

"I love that we kiss – and touch, but don't you think sometimes there's more? I mean, if one of us was a girl there would be more...can't we have more?" Andy asked. He knew what he and Buddy were, homos, queers, fags...he knew the names and the stigma, but he wasn't sure what people like himself did. There had to be more than kissing and touching.

"Ah...I have this friend. He got me some magazines and ...well, I read them. I can show you what I read? But I've never done it before. Just the...touching with you, Andy," Buddy confessed. "I want more, too."

"Who is this friend?" Andy asked, trying so hard not to sound jealous, but how could he not be jealous if some guy was giving Buddy sex magazines?

"Oh, Andy...don't worry. It's a guy I've known for a long time. He's old enough to be my grandfather. He is somebody I can talk to sometimes. He's not creepy or anything, just understanding. Okay? You can meet him if you want," Buddy said, a little worried. Devon didn't like meeting new people.

"Okay...I trust you. Sorry, I just..."

"I understand. I'd feel the same way, but really, there is no reason to fear," Buddy assured his friend. Then he leaned forward and kissed Andy. Andy's arms went around him and pulled him closer, kissing him harder.

Buddy's hand went down to tickle the hairs on Andy's belly and he knew then how excited Andy was. While he couldn't really bring himself to use words to explain what he wanted, Buddy had no problems showing him. He pushed Andy onto his back, climbed on top of him and lay full-length – kissing him and finding just where he wanted their bodies to meet. They had done this before, and it always ended in the same way – satisfaction for both of them. But Buddy wanted something new tonight and he thought Andy did, too.

He got up, kneeling next to Andy and took off their jockey shorts, setting them beside Andy on the bed, then kissed his belly, slowly and with a lot of open-mouth, wet kisses. Andy groaned, his muscles stiffening as Buddy kissed down his belly once more. He gently took Andy in hand and put out his tongue. He didn't know what it would taste or feel like – the magazine didn't say, but seeing Andy so excited was enough. He could do this for him.

Buddy started by licking all the way up from root to tip, realizing it didn't taste any different than the rest of Andy's skin, so he got brave and put his mouth over the crown and pushed down. Andy was shaking, his muscles trembling as his voice reached a new octave. His fingers were buried in Buddy's hair, holding tight. Buddy closed his eyes and swirled his wet tongue all around and then sucked.

Andy almost came off the bed at that, moaning words Buddy couldn't understand, but didn't need to. He began moving up and down on Andy, using his tongue and cheeks to hold him tight as he stroked with his mouth.

"Buddy!" Andy shouted, his eyes glassy and his breath on fire. It was too soon, but Andy knew what was about to happen and he panicked. He pulled Buddy away, babbling about coming now – and Buddy pulled back, but kept his hand there to finish the job. Andy came harder than he ever had in all of his life, feeling like his whole essence was spilling out across his stomach, semen dripping down the skin of his bare hips, his head in the clouds.

"Andy?" Buddy asked, his voice soft and tender. "Are...are you okay?"

"Yes. I think so...Buddy? Thank you," he whispered as Buddy stroked his face. He'd gone to get towels and cleaned his boyfriend, moving him to the other side of the bed and snuggling close, sheet pulled up to make a warm nest. He had held Andy for the better part of an hour, just held him with a few kisses, some touching of their skin, sharing breath.

"You seem – I don't know...upset?"

"No, Buddy, I'm not upset. Sorry, I am just...in shock I guess. I mean, I knew we liked the touching and we've done the kissing and ...rubbing with our clothes still on. But that...it was different. Are you okay with it?" Andy's voice betrayed his fear and his muscles trembled. "Did you know it would be like that?"

"No, not exactly. I liked it, though. Seeing you like that? Tasting you, being so close. Andy, do you want to stop?" Buddy asked, now hearing the fear in his own voice.

"No. I'd give anything on heaven and earth to do that with you again. To share that with you, Buddy. You have no idea. I loved you before, and I will always love you – but that..." he had no words and Buddy understood. He snuggled closer, holding Andy with an iron grip. He wanted it forever, too.

Buddy was almost asleep when he felt Andy's hand sliding down his back, stroking him and moving to push him down on the bed, on his back, as Andy's mouth closed around his hard erection...