Sevasey Drabbles
Not Coping
"Hey…" Severide's gravelly voice picked up the phone. Casey had been sitting on his couch for the last forty-five minutes contemplating about making the call or not. "Case, it's 3am?" Severide half-questioned.
"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called…"
"No, don't hang up," Severide spoke quickly, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he shook his head as he spoke through the phone.
"Where are you? Are you at home?"
"Yeah, I'm at home," he replied.
"You gonna tell me what's wrong or is it gonna like pulling teeth?"
"I just… I just wanted to hear your voice," he said.
"Talk to me, Matt," Severide urged.
"I… I miss her," his voice cracked as he admitted it.
"I know," Severide sympathised, "And there's nothing I can say to make it any better."
"I shouldn't have called…"
"I told you to call me if needed me, if needed anything, remember?" Severide spoke softly. "Now, have you eaten today?"
Casey's silence was all Severide needed.
"You know how you've taken all this furlough to get stuff straightened out? Well that means you need to get stuff straightened out, if that means you need to come and spend some time at my place then we'll do that because you need to eat and sleep, you can't just sit and drink or…"
"I've not had anything," he replied before Severide could finish.
"Good 'cause sitting in your house with no lights and drinking on your own is not coping," Severide said with an air of authority that he hadn't meant to come across.
"I don't need you to tell me that I'm not coping, I didn't call you so you could tell me how I've let everything fall apart…"
"Matt, this isn't your fault, you just… you're just hardwired to hide everything until it gets out of hand, you don't have the best coping methods but neither do I but you're gonna be ok and you'll be back at work soon."
"I need to be back at work now."
"No, that's where you're wrong, you were being reckless, and you said it yourself you weren't sleeping, you were a danger to your own men, you told me so I could help you, you gotta listen to me," Severide spoke.
"I can't see past all this," he admitted after a thoughtful moment.
"Come to the front door," Severide told him.
"What?" he frowned but there was only silence at the other end of the phone. He put his mobile down and slowly got up and went to the front door.
"There's nothing I can say to make it better but I can be here for you," Severide said once the door opened.
"You didn't need…"
"Yes I did," Severide nodded, "Let's get something to eat and then you need to get some sleep."