Christopher Pike smiled ask Jim Kirk held the door open for him. "Hey, Jim. Is Leo around?"

Jim nodded shyly, making little eye contact.

"Chris? That you?"

"Yeah, it's me," Chris called back as Jim shut the door.

Leonard appeared a moment later, and the two hugged. "You look good."

Chris smiled. "You, too." He chuckled as Jim latched himself onto Leonard, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Jim looks great."

Leonard nuzzled Jim's head. "Don't be shy, Jim. You remember Chris, right?"

Jim peeked out, smiled and nodded. Then he hid his face against Leonard's chest again.

"Is … now an all right time to talk?"

Leonard nodded. He kissed Jim's temple. "Hey, kiddo. Go on upstairs for a bit, okay? Then you can show Chris your ships. We'll be down here."

Jim nodded and kissed Leonard's cheek before bounding up the stairs.

Chris couldn't keep the smile off his face. "Leo, he's so happy."

Leonard smiled a little sadly. "Yeah. Most days, he is." He gestured for Chris to join him in the dining room. They didn't use it often. "We need drinks for this discussion?"

"Yeah. We do," Chris sighed.

Leonard poured two glasses of Scotch and set them on coasters before sitting down.

"How's the prep for the trial going?"

Leonard sipped his drink. "Not bad. It'll be hard to be in the same room as Nero and not strangle him."

"I'll be there. Remember that. And he's going down for this, Leo. I promise you. The evidence is overwhelming."

"So, what's the bad news?"

"It's not bad, exactly. It's just … something strange has happened. I was contacted by the prosecutors. Nero had a request, and he wanted it to go through me. So … reluctantly, I'm bringing it to you. And I don't expect you to say yes, but I just … it didn't feel right not telling you."

Leonard took another drink. "What is it?"

"Basically, Nero unofficially offered to save us the cost of a trial and confess to everything … if he could spend five minutes with Jim face to face."

Leonard nearly crushed the glass in his hands. Red clouded his vision. "What?"

"I just … God, Leo, I didn't want to bring this up. But I had to. It would be a lot less painful for everyone, but I –"

"Absolutely not. No fucking way."

"Okay." Chris looked at him steadily. "Okay, Leo. You say no, then I'll tell that bastard where to stick it, okay? Don't let it get to you. He knows he's going down, and he's grasping at straws."

"Why would he –"

"Leo." Chris reached across the table and gripped his wrist. "Let it go. Don't ask why; don't try to think about what he wants. Just forget I even mentioned it."

"I … I can't." He pulled away and stood up, walking to the window.

"Leo, I am so sorry I even had to ask you."

"It's not your fault. It's just … bad timing."

"Tell me. If you want."

"Four days ago … I warned the day care to make sure not to put the news on the TV. I knew if Jim even saw Nero's face, he'd lose it."

"Oh, Jesus …"

"It – it was an innocent mistake. Some per diem nurse. And of course, he's on every fucking channel. So …"

"What happened?"

"Jim … lost it. He broke the TV, started throwing things. He – he can't remember everything that happened, but he can still feel it. He's got so much anger inside him. We've been working on it, but … thank God, no one else was hurt. It was a near thing, apparently. The staff had to take him down, strap him to a bed. Then they paged me."

Chris rose and stood next to him. "Leo, I am so sorry."

Faces blurred as Leonard ran into the day care and followed the nurse to the isolation room. He cried out as his saw Jim strapped down to the bed, crying hysterically – howling.

He went to him, stroked his face until he responded.

"Shhh, baby, it's okay. Breathe, Jim, shhh."

Jim leaned into his palm and sobbed.

Leonard kept shushing him as he unbuckled the straps, sat on the bed, and wrapped him up in his arms. "I'm here, darlin'. It's all right. He can't hurt you ever again." He held on tight when another wave of anger went through Jim, accepted the blows of fists against his chest. "I know, darlin'. I know. It's all right. Let it out."

The scream that ripped out of Jim nearly took Leonard's soul with it.

He took a few deep breaths and felt tears streaming down his own face. "You've got every right to be angry, Jim. I've got you. It's okay."

Jim yelled wordlessly, writhing in Leonard's grasp.

Leonard just held on and kept murmuring soothingly. He felt useless.

Finally, Jim quieted and clung onto him.

"That's it, Jim." Leonard smoothed a hand through Jim's hair. "I'm here. No one's gonna hurt you." He loosened his grip a little, letting Jim get more comfortable against him. He rocked them side to side slowly. "Shhh, it's all right." It was hours before Jim was settled enough to move.

Leonard took him home and tucked him into bed, wouldn't leave his side for a second.

Jim didn't want to sleep, just kept crying and pulling on Leonard, trying to hold onto him as tightly as possible. Leonard let him, crawling into bed beside him and holding him close. Jim kept drifting off but would wake screaming after only a few minutes. Leonard just held him and stroked his hair. He had long run out of anything he could say to chase away the nightmares. About an hour before sunrise, they both fell into an uneasy sleep.

Leonard woke up late the next morning; Jim was just staring at him with those too blue eyes that had seen too much. He stretched slowly and sat up; Jim followed his every move. Tension radiated off of him. He thinks I'm going to leave him.

"It's okay, darlin'. We'll just stay in today. You and me. I'm not goin' anywhere." He called out of work for two days.

"Jesus, Leo –"

"I know. It's not your fault." Leonard wiped his eyes. "If I could just … erase that asshole from existence, it would be easier. I wish to hell I could make Jim forget him."

The two stood at the window, watching the occasional car go by. Chris kept a hand on Leonard's shoulder, rubbing it softly. "Leo … there's one more thing. But it's a good thing. Just listen. I was contacted by a Montgomery Scott. He's also testifying against Nero, even though he is serving time for what he did. He told me that he got to talk to Jim on the way back from Minnesota."

Leonard jerked away. "Chris, don't."

"Please, Leo. Just listen."

"He's lying!" Leonard shouted, dashing a hand across his eyes.

"He's not, and I have proof. He said that Jim begged him for something to write with. He wanted to write a note. For you. He didn't ask Scott to mail it; he knew it would be too risky. He just told him to keep it and find a way to get it to you if he ever saw you again. He knew it was a one in a million shot. And it was.

"Scott kept the letter and never read it. When Nero's house was overtaken, there was damage, but Scott's possessions survived. He told me where to find it. I took it and had it analyzed against earlier samples of Jim's writing – also not easy to come by. It's a perfect match. It really is from Jim." Chris took something from his pocket and laid it on the table. "Read it when you're ready."

"You read it, didn't you."

"No. Only the analysts read it. And who are they gonna tell?"

Leonard sat down at the table and finished his drink. "I don't know what to do."

"Take your time. Why don't I go sit with Jim for a while, and you can have a little time to yourself?"

Leonard nodded.

"Anything I should know?"

"Just … um, he's really into astronomy right now. He should open up if you talk about that; he'll show you his spaceships. And if you end up with a book in your lap, he wants you to read it to him."

"Got it. Let me know if you need anything." He quietly left the room and made his way upstairs.

After a minute, Leonard stood and poured himself another drink. He set it back down on the sideboard untouched. He sat down at the table and stared at the folded piece of paper.

He's sitting upstairs, alive and well. But these are Jim's last words. As far as I know.

His hand shook as he gingerly picked up the paper and unfolded it. The writing was terribly uneven; he must have written while they were driving. It was miracle they had identified the writing as English, let alone Jim's hand.

Bones,

I know you'll probably never read this, but it makes me feel a little bit better to get it down on paper. I just want you to know that, whatever happens, I'll never regret any of this. I know you'll have a good life, and that's worth it to me. The alternative would have – well, let's not even go there. I hope you can forgive me for not being completely honest with you.

I wish we'd been able to spend more time together, and that's a huge understatement. Thank you … for, well, everything. Nero broke me, but you saved me. Remember that. No matter what, remember that you saved me, Bones. I'd rather die for defiance than live my whole life as an obedient slave; I'm not going back to that. You snapped me out of it. I –

Damn. I can only write for short periods at a time. I don't remember how I was going to finish that thought. Sorry. I'm lucky to even have written this much, so I have to wrap this up no matter how much I don't want to. Three things:

If you ever run into my mother, don't tell her what happened to me. Make up something. Anything. Her name is Winona. If you happen to run into my brother Sam, you can tell him.

I know that you want to know why. Why I chose you, why I decided to save you. So, now that I've had a minute to get my thoughts together, I'll tell you. I picked you, because you stood out; you were different, and I was intrigued. As for why I saved you … Bones, you made me realize what we – what Nero was doing was wrong. I'd forgotten it somehow. As for why I chose to die for you … it's because you're the first person that made me want to have a future. Kinda backwards, right? I give up my life, because you made me realize I wanted one. But we wouldn't have both made it out alive, Bones. It was the only way. I wish I could share that future with you, but try to make it good for both of us, okay?

I wanted to tell you something, because I know I'll never have another chance. And since you'll probably never read this, I know I most likely blew it completely. But with everything you did, and everything we never got to do … I know we would have been something, Bones. Together. So, I'll just go ahead and say it. I love you.

Thank you,

Jim

Jim had been a bit wary at first when Chris stepped into the library. He was sprawled on the floor with star charts and astronomy books all around.

Chris had just smiled at him and started talking about the stars.

Jim's wariness gradually melted until he was flipping open books to pictures of the planets and then pointing them out on the chart.

Chris was impressed. His verbal skills were missing, but Jim could still learn and retain information. He was glad all over again that Leonard had decided to look after him. There was no way he would have had this kind of life in an institution.

He noted, though, that Jim did look tired. He kept yawning and rubbing his eyes as the afternoon turned into evening. The incident at the day care had only been a few days ago. Was he still having nightmares?

Chris picked up a book that told a fanciful tale about a young boy taking a journey around the stars. He got onto the window seat and patted the spot beside him. "C'mere, son."

Jim clambered up onto the seat next to him and, after a moment's hesitation, leaned against his side so that he could easily see the pictures.

They had almost finished the book when Leonard finally appeared in the doorway.

Jim immediately jumped up and ran to him, and Leonard hugged him tight, kissing the top of his head. "Has he been good?"

"Yeah. He's smart. Definitely tired, though."

"I ordered takeout for dinner. You're staying."

Chris laughed. "All right then."

Leonard kissed Jim again; his eyes were wet. "Could you give us a minute?"

"Of course. I'll set the table."

"Thanks."

Leonard took a few steadying breaths and rapidly blinked to keep from crying again. "C'mon, Jim. Let's sit down for a minute." He led Jim back to the window seat and sat down.

Jim scrambled up next to him, almost crawling into his lap; he was a little anxious. He knew something was wrong.

Leonard wrapped an arm around him and stroked his hair. "It's okay, darlin'. Everything's fine."

Jim calmed a bit.

Leonard wasn't sure what he was doing; he knew it probably wasn't a good idea, but he needed some way to reconcile the two "Jims" in his mind. He slowly took the letter from his pocket and handed it to Jim. "Do you remember this?"

Jim unfolded it carefully and stared at the messy scrawl. His brow furrowed.

"You wrote it, Jim. Do you remember?"

Jim nodded slowly.

Just as Leonard was about to sigh in relief, Jim shoved the letter back at him, jumped off the seat, and grabbed the closest pencils and paper he could find.

Leonard folded the note carefully and returned it to his pocket. He knelt beside Jim. "What is it?"

Jim gave a little cry as he scribbled desperately on the paper, the other hand going into his hair; he was frantic.

Leonard put his arms around him. "Easy, Jim. Shh, it's okay. Calm down."

Jim shook his head and pulled away; he went back to "writing," more desperate than before.

And then it clicked. "That's the last thing you remember, isn't it? The last thing before Nero scrambled your brains. You were trying to write to me …"

Jim hiccupped a sob and sadly pushed the papers towards Leonard.

Leonard took the letter out of his pocket again. "Jim, it's okay. You don't have to worry; you don't have to keep fighting. I got it. I got your message. It's okay." He got his fingers under Jim's chin and tilted his face up until their eyes met. "I got it, Jim. It's okay. You can stop now."

Hope lit up Jim's eyes.

Leonard smiled and nodded. "I got it, Jim. You did good. And … I love you, too." He slowly gathered Jim into his arms as he relaxed, crying tears that weren't entirely unhappy into his shoulder. Leonard stroked his hair softly. "It's all right, darlin'. I heard ya loud and clear." Something released inside Jim; he could feel it. The letter had brought him a measure of peace.

Leonard just held him as tears pricked his own eyes. Jim went slowly slack in his arms, his breath soft and even against Leonard's neck. He softly kissed Jim's temple and laid him on the floor. He stood before bending and gently lifting Jim into his arms. He carried him to his room and tucked him into bed, wiping away the tear tracks on his cheeks. Jim didn't even stir; he was finally getting the rest he desperately needed. Leonard leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"Sweet dreams, darlin'."

Chris was just paying the delivery girl when Leonard finally descended the stairs. Leonard knew he should object, but he couldn't get the words out fast enough.

Chris took the bags of food and nudged the door shut with his hip.

Leonard wordlessly stepped forward and helped him bring the bags into the kitchen.

"Jim okay?" Chris asked as they unpacked the Thai food.

"Yeah," Leonard answered, his voice rough. "He's good. You remember how when we first found him, he kept trying to write? That letter – writing that letter to me is the last thing he can clearly remember. He was still trying to do it, still trying to get to me. I got him to understand that I finally got the message. He was so relieved … he's sleeping now."

Chris smiled softly. "Good."

"How long did you know about it?"

"This whole process has taken just over a month. I didn't want to breathe a word of it to you until I knew it was real, and I had the damn thing in hand."

"Thank you. It … it brought us both some closure." He bit his lip. "Do you –"

"Only tell me if you want to. It's between you and Jim."

"He … I don't think he makes the full connection; I don't think he remembers me from before. He just remembered that he was trying to write something, and it was important. But … he did seem to recognize the letter; that was a miracle." Leonard set down the plates he had been holding. "He told me why he did it. But I still … even so, I don't understand. How could I be worth it?"

Chris's hand was on his shoulder again. "Leo, listen. I can't imagine what it's like to have someone make that kind of sacrifice for you. But you took that gift, and you used it. You even went beyond it by volunteering to look after Jim. Now it's time to move on. It's time to be grateful for everything you've got, and everything we've done."

Leonard leaned on the counter. "I guess … I never thought after the divorce that I'd ever have a family."

Chris smiled. "Now you do."

"You're part of that, you know."

"Damn right."

Leonard didn't move, even though everything was ready.

Chris squeezed his shoulder. "Go on. Go to him. I'll be here."

Leonard nodded and jogged back up the stairs.

Jim was still sleeping peacefully.

Leonard wiped a tear from his eye as he leaned over and softly kissed his forehead. "You do get a future, Jim. Might not be the one you imagined, but you – we get one. And I'll make it as good as I can, darlin'. I promise."