THE TRAINING REGIMENT
PART TWO
January 9th, 849
After two years since she enlisted, Annie was feeling like she did when she was with her father: Isolated, alone, tired, empty...
She felt just like how she did when she left her house and never returned.
Isolation was something she hated. Despised with all of her being.
She hated it almost more than she hated her father.
She never thought she would feel this way again after she became friends with Bertholdt and the others.
But she was feeling all the isolation and loneliness that someone could feel if they slept among people that would kill her if they knew who she was.
A murderer and a monster.
She didn't expect to be much affected by not interacting with Bertholdt and Reiner when she accepted to join the Cadet Regiment, but the seclusion she found herself in was unbearable.
The girl she bunked with, Mina Carolina, reminded her of Pieck too much, — though Annie didn't know what her Warrior friend looked like right now — the only thing that distinguished Mina from Pieck, was the former's positive expression and her knack for socializing with the other girls.
Pieck wasn't like that, she loved everyone in their group of friends, but she never got close to other girls aside Annie.
She almost always had a goofy expression on her face to trick the unsuspecting in underestimating her. Leaving her facade only when she was in the company of Marcel, Annie and the others.
Seeing someone so similar but so much different from her friend had Annie thinking about how Pieck and Porco were faring.
Did Pieck finally consume the Cart Titan? If she did, how much time did she have left in this world? And Porco...how was he doing without his brother?
Annie thought about the day she and the others were sent to Paradis Island.
The carriage they were on paraded them like they were national heroes. The people screamed and cheered as if they had already completed the mission given to them by the top officials of Marley's military, and were just returning after saving the world by the mortal threat of the 'devils' on Paradis Island.
"Heroes!!" "Save us from those devils!!" "Chosen Warriors of Marley!!" "Make us proud!!" The Marleyans shouted.
It was complete and utter madness that all those people were ignorant or just didn't care that four kids were being sent by their military to kill people who never did anything wrong to the world.
Bertholdt and Reiner were sitting on the opposite side from her and Marcel.
She gripped the hand of the boy on her right.
He glanced at her, his mouth a thin line.
"What is it Annie?" Marcel asked tiredly, eyes half closed.
He hadn't slept that night, and if she was more perceptive she would have understood why.
"...We're going to follow the Warchief's plan, right?"
Marcel diverted his eyes and slowly removed his hand from her grip.
"Yeah." He said emptily, as if he didn't really care.
Annie frowned but stayed silent.
He's probably in a bad mood from the umpteenth argument he had with Porco last night.
The rest of the journey had passed in total silence between the four Warriors.
When they had finally arrived at the pier of Liberio's harbor, everyone else was already waiting for them.
Theo Magath had let them have privacy as they said their goodbyes to Pieck and Porco.
Pieck was crying, her expression morphed into one of pain and sadness.
Porco was quietly standing to her right, hard eyes looking straight at Reiner, and glancing at Marcel occasionally.
Porco and Reiner used to be as thick as thieves before Reiner got chosen for the Armored Titan instead of him
Pieck suddenly threw herself at Bertholdt and Marcel, — she probably would have thrown herself at Annie too, if the blonde was closer to the two boys — hugging their waists because of their height difference.
Annie looked away until she felt something tug at her wrist.
It was Bertholdt. He looked at her with an expectant and hopeful expression.
Slowly she walked towards her three friends and joined them.
"Fuck...come on, you big idiot." Porco said gloomily, dragging Reiner's hesitating body towards everyone and joining the group hug.
"Please...be careful...and stay safe...all of you." Pieck murmured as she sobbed.
"I'll kick your asses if you don't. Even you Reiner, I'm gonna be really pissed if you don't put that armor to good use. Ice queen, you better do your job and show everyone that you're a Leonhart. And you, Bertholdt, you tall beanpole, you better be at your best like you were in training unless you want... fuck... JUST COME BACK!! WE STILL HAVE SO MUCH SHIT TO DO TOGETHER!!" Porco screamed, showing his anguish.
In that moment even Annie was touched, she had always kept her emotions in check, but hearing the one who always behaved like a hot-headed boy scream like that, was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.
"Please, come back. I need you with me." Porco stated, openly crying and looking at everyone pleadingly, showing the affection he harbored for them.
She still remembers that day in great detail.
She had thought about it countless times in the last two years. And in the last months it was the only thing that kept her sane and on the verge of going mad at the same time.
The memory of all of them together. Like she always desired it to be.
Unfortunately Marcel was dead, and she doubted that she could go back to those old times.
While she just kept to herself and interacted with almost no one. Bertholdt and Reiner were passing more and more time with the other cadets.
Her blond comrade was the most popular, respected and looked up to — altough only figuratively for the last one — among the cadets.
Everyone had been helped by him in training and she further noted that he passed a lot of time with Eren.
She frowned when she heard his name for the first time, but just ignored her suspicion when she saw that he looked nothing like the Warchief did.
Eren was a boy whom she thought had a lot of potential but had no chance against her, Bertholdt or Reiner.
The brunette had the resolve to kill all the titans and change the world, but he had absolutely no idea that it would take so so much more to change the world than just killing titans...actually changing the world would be an impossible feat, the only thing someone could do, was try to make it better.
Meanwhile, Bertholdt had been passing much of his time with Armin Arlert. Jaeger's other friend.
She saw them train together almost everywhere, and she wondered why Bertholdt was doing it.
It bugged her that she didn't know why he was talking to that blond.
Reiner and Bertholdt bunked together because the latter was too hesitant to even look at the people of the walls. Now he was training and spending a lot of his time with them.
Is he doing it because he wants to get better at training?
No. Annie knew he didn't have any problems with his abilities. He was chosen as the ColossaI Titan because he was the one with the most potential among the Warrior Candidates, now he was at the top of their class along with her and Reiner, and so far none of the other cadets promised to be trouble in the future.
Apart from one. She thought, changing the subject of her musings.
Mikasa Ackermann. Annie considered her a freak of nature.
No one could be so perfect at everything at the first try, and that's exactly how Mikasa was.
She was completely perfect.
That girl showed a margin of skill and talent that even Annie couldn't match.
At least in human form. She thought, as she exited the barracks and started her morning jog. It was one of their free days, which Annie always passed training.
As she breathed the fresh air of the morning, she saw a group of cadets talking together. She recognized Jean, Marco, Thomas, Connie, Mina, Hannah and Sasha.
They were probably gossiping or talking about something that Annie couldn't care less about.
So she opted to ignore them and get started on her training.
Unfortunately Mina saw her and tried to make her join them.
The black haired girl smiled, "Hey Annie!! Why don't you join us?" The whole group looked at her with impassive faces. They didn't really care if Annie joined them or not, apart from Marco, Mina and Krista. Those three were the social butterflies of the cadets, liked by everybody because of their gentle natures.
"No thanks. I prefer training." Annie quickly replied, starting to jog.
No one tried to stop her, and she was glad of that.
~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile on the training grounds, two cadets worked together. More specifically; a blond boy and a dark haired youth were training together.
"Look at how I do it." The dark haired teen told the blond.
A second later, the hook of the maneuvering gear was embedded at the center of the target that was 15 meters in front of the two boys.
"See? It's not that difficult."
His blond companion blinked a couple of times and looked at him with his mouth opened in shock.
"How did you do it!? You made it seem like it was the easiest thing in the world!!" Armin exclaimed.
Bertholdt looked embarassed, "N-no, I just aimed with my hip an-"
"Exactly!! How did you aim with your hip!?"
"I-I don't know..." Bertholdt murmured silently, looking away.
"Wait, I didn't mean to embarass you or make you feel self conscious. I was just... surprised to see you do it so easily."
Bertholdt glanced at him, "D-don't worry. I know I'm not good at teaching so it's no sweat." The boy told him, grimacing when he touched his wet forehead.
Armin laughed quietly at seeing this.
What Bertholdt said could disarm any situation since he's a walking furnace of perspiration.
Bertholdt looked away from him, "I'm sorry...maybe we should have asked Mikasa for help too, she's your friend, right?"
Armin looked at the tall boy in surprise as he blushed. "U-um...yeah, she is, it's just... I...don't want to bother her..."
I absolutely do not want to bother her. The blond thought in his head.
"Why? She's like, ten times better than me and Reiner." Bertholdt affirmed, confused.
"I guess...I just prefer your company more." Armin said, missing Bertholdt's look of pain at his sentence.
"Come on, you should try." Bertholdt said, gesturing at Armin's maneuver gear, and the target.
The blond nodded and readied himself to shoot the hook. After a few seconds, a metallic sound, and the noise of something hard hitting the target could be heard.
The hook was embedded between the third and the second ring of the target.
Armin grimaced, I guess it's not a bad shot but...not a good one either. Armin thought silently.
Am I ever going to be strong? Could I become strong like Eren, Mikasa, Reiner or Bertholdt? Armin asked himself, looking at his tall friend.
"I wish I was like you." Armin declared suddenly, leaving the dark haired boy stunned.
"Why?" He asked.
Armin looked at him like it was obvious, "You're strong, smart, fast, kind...I could go on forever, pointing out your qualities. You're good at so many things here, and you're not even going all out."
"Why do you think that?"
"You're never carefree...it's almost like you bring a giant weight on your shoulders, but even so, you're good at almost everything you do... I don't understand how... is it just talent?" Armin asked in genuine wonder.
It was as if he wasn't asking that question at Bertholdt, but was pondering it in his mind.
Then Armin absentmindedly moved to sit on a nearby bench...and Bertholdt followed him in silence.
The two cadets stayed quiet for a long time. Both immersed in their respective thoughts.
"I had a friend...his name was Marcel." Bertholdt abruptly declared, whispering in an emotionless tone.
Armin looked at him silently.
"He was good at everything he did...doing chores, climbing, fighting, running...he was an athletic wonder even at a young age...he wanted to become a soldier."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Reiner wasn't like he is now. He wasn't strong or focused. He didn't have any particular talent." Armin's expression showed surprise at hearing this.
To him, Reiner seemed incredibly talented, not to mention that he showed a confidence and mental fortitude that Armin envied deeply.
The blond didn't have time to think as Bertholdt continued talking.
"Marcel was the one who helped him, and look at Reiner now. He's the second best cadet in the 104th." Bertholdt said, smiling slightly.
"Sometimes, the true potential of a person, shows itself in the direst of situations. You'll become strong...far stronger than you ever think you'll be."
Armin looked at Bertholdt with a skeptical expression, "That's not always the case..."
Bertholdt nodded, "That is true."
Armin felt somewhat encouraged by Bertholdt's words...but there was still something the blond was curious about.
"What happened to Marcel?"
Bertholdt showed the saddest expression Armin had seen on him yet.
"He's dead...he was eaten by a titan after pushing Reiner away from it, while I and An-...and my cowardly younger self watched. I did nothing as he was eaten."
Armin was sad to hear that, but he had already surmised what happened to Marcel after hearing Bertholdt's earlier words.
"What could you have done against a titan?" He asked rhetorically.
"Anything...I could have done anything...maybe I should have been the one to push Reiner away. The titan would have eaten me instead of Marcel...that would have been better...so much better." The young man whispered depressingly.
Armin was shocked to hear this. He didn't think Bertholdt would say something like that. His good nature made Armin say the next words almost automatically.
"You shouldn't think that. I'm glad you're here Bertholdt. You're a great guy and you don't deserve Marcel's fate, just as Marcel himself didn't...you couldn't have done anything to save him anyway."
Bertholdt looked conflicted but after a few moments he acknowledged Armin's words with a nod, "Yeah...you're right."
The dark haired boy glanced at the ground while Armin looked at him thoughtfully.
Bertholdt had clearly been uncomfortable in telling his story.
He had done it to comfort him, but if his objective was only to give comfort, then he didn't need to mention Marcel.
The blond deduced that Bertholdt decided to confide in him without a reason.
Deep inside him, Bertholdt wanted to talk about Marcel with someone. It's likely he and Reiner didn't talk about him much...because it was painful for them to.
Strangely, as sad as that thought was, it brought Armin a warmth he didn't feel in a long time, and he decided to confide in Bertholdt.
"I...don't want to train with Mikasa because I feel something for her...and I know she feels something for Eren already." Armin confessed.
Bertholdt glanced at him in silence.
"I-I don't precisely know why I feel this way about her, but I know it started when we were little...before the Wall fell. More precisely, it was the first time we met. I was being bullied by some kids that lived in Shiganshina when I saw her the first time. Eren and Mikasa beat them away. She was really amazing, dodging every fist that was sent her way...as if she was dancing..." Armin told him quietly, relishing the memory.
"...then as the bullies escaped, Eren started to chase them while she stopped to help me. When I looked into her eyes I froze. They were so black that I thought I was looking at the night sky..." Armin said with a starry gaze and a fond expression, before remembering that Bertholdt could see him.
He flushed in embarrassment.
Dammit, why did I say it like that? I shouldn't behave like a love stricken fool!! Mikasa doesn't like that, if Jean is any clue!! Ah... I feel so embarrassed right now. The blond thought.
"I think that's beautiful." Bertholdt murmured, gazing at the blond, who looked surprised by his words.
"I'm serious, I think that what you said is really beautiful...and you shouldn't feel embarassed by it..." The dark haired boy told him with a big smile.
It was the first time Armin saw Bertholdt smiling fully.
He looks...happy... it's the first time he looks genuinely happy. The fact that Bertholdt smiled at him like that, made another rush of warmth hit Armin.
Ah...I should have known. Bertholdt never judges anyone...he's just too shy and awkward. Armin thought, smiling to himself.
I don't think he'll brush me off for the next thing I'm about to say.
"You know...I had a book that talked about the outside world..." Armin started to say.
Bertholdt looked at him steadily now, his smile slowly disappearing.
"...I read that outside the walls there were so many things and places that people forgot about. Fire water, continents of ice, snowfields of sand... but the one which interested me the most...was the ocean... a huge amount of water, containing salt. Salt is a treasure as you know, and I read that the ocean is so big that merchants could never deplete the salt it contains...it may sound stupid to you, but I believe it's true."
Shining light-blue eyes peered at Bertholdt.
"I dreamed of seeing it with Eren someday and then with Mikasa...I still do. That's actually one of the reasons I joined the Cadet Regiment. Unfortunately Eren has dedicated himself to becoming a soldier and slaying all the titans while Mikasa just wants to be by his side. They probably don't even think about the outside world anymore..." He stated gloomily, looking at a small ladybug moving on the ground.
"...not that it matters now that Wall Maria fell. Humanity will be lucky if it survives this. We have even less freedom than before." Armin muttered as he saw the ladybug fly away.
Several minutes passed in silence as Armin thought about all the things that he, Eren and Mikasa passed through after the fall of Wall Maria: They had lost their homes, their families and among all that unfairness, Armin considered themselves even lucky.
Many people had lost much more than that because of the titans.
"From my experience with Marcel and Reiner...I understood that everyone should always keep close the people they love, and cherish every moment with them." Bertholdt murmured.
"Maybe the ocean doesn't exist...or if it does exist maybe you will never see it."
Armin looked at him quietly.
"Only one thing is certain...Mikasa exists and so does Eren. You see them everyday now, and you expect to see them everyday forever...until you won't. I think you should keep them close as much as you can."
Jade irises met light blue eyes, and Armin felt like he did when Eren first introduced himself to him.
"Why did you let them beat you up? You know that if you don't fight back they'll just keep treating you like this, right? Do you plan to keep losing all the time?" A brunette haired boy asked him, showing only half his face while looking at Armin's crouching body from behind the corner of a building.
The blond glanced at him, "I haven't lost...I didn't run away...so I didn't lose." He muttered defiantly, looking away.
The brunette blinked in surprise and showed himself completely.
"What's your name?" He asked quietly.
Armin glanced at him in curiosity, "Armin Arlert." He replied cautiously.
Then the boy offered him a hand to help him up.
After a few seconds of contemplation, Armin gingerly grabbed the boy's hand and stood up.
"I'm Eren Jaeger. It's nice to finally meet someone who isn't like those bullies." The boy stated with an impassive face. But Armin noticed that his emerald eyes seemed to be twinkling.
Armin's mouth raised slightly, forming a small smile as he looked at Bertholdt.
The taller boy gave him a small upturn of his lips.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Come on, Reiner!!" The brunette shouted excitedly, flying among the trees.
"Don't tell me I got better than you at flying with this thing!!"
The blond teen smirked as he heard Eren shouting behind him.
"Maybe you should actually see where I am before boasting!!"
Reiner watched in amusement, as Eren looked in front of him in shock.
"W-w-what!? How did yo-"
Reiner's eyes widened as Eren missed the tree he shot at with his free hook, and started to fall down.
He tried to turn back and catch him, but Eren fell too fast.
After quickly flying back, Reiner crouched in front of Eren in concern, "Hey, are you alright?"
"Y-yeah, I don't think anything's broken so let's jus-aahh." Eren groaned in pain and laid his back on the ground as he clutched his left knee in his hands.
"Dammit, now that you've hurt yourself, the instructor is gonna decrease your grade again."
"N-no, wait, I can keep going." The brunette tried to reassure, as Reiner started to unbuckle his gear. "Just give me a few minutes." Eren pleaded, slapping his friend's hands away.
Reiner sighed, "Alright, I'll give you five minutes, but if you can't walk properly after this amount of time, then I'm taking you to the infirmary." He declared with a tone that would not hold any protests.
Eren just nodded grudgingly, "Alright..."
The sound of several maneuvering gears coming from behind them, alerted the two cadets of the arrival of some new visitors.
A concerned, freckled face was the first thing Reiner saw when he turned around, followed by one that sometimes reminded Reiner of an equine.
"Hey, is everything alright?" Marco asked with a concerned expression. Behind him was Jean, who's expression of annoyance changed to one of amusement when he saw that Eren was on the ground with dirt on his clothes. It was pretty clear to anyone who looked at him, that Eren had fallen.
"Look at that. Did the suicidal bastard almost break his neck again?" Jean asked, laughing tauntingly.
Eren was just about to retort before Reiner started talking.
"Unfortunately I distracted him while we were flying with the 3DMG. Now, we're resting a bit before continuing the circuit. There's nothing to be worried about." Reiner told the two cadets, looking at Marco while stating his last sentence.
Jean laughed again, "Whatever. Heard that Marco? Everything's fine. Now, let's just continue the exercise."
Marco looked conflicted, "Are you sure everything's fine?" He asked, looking at Reiner and then glancing at Eren.
Reiner put on his friendly smile, "Don't worry, everything's fine. If we need help, we'll be sure to call you. Right Eren?"
"Yeah..." The brunette muttered, looking at the ground.
Marco looked less concerned at that, and Reiner watched as he and Jean flew away. The latter muttering; finally, under his breath.
"Thank you..." Eren said suddenly, after the two other cadets were gone.
Reiner grinned, "It was nothing." He said as he started stretching his arms and legs.
Eren looked at him silently before glancing away thoughtfully, "Do you think Jean is right?"
Reiner glanced at him, his grin fading away, "Regarding what?"
"I end up hurting myself in many of the exercises we do. While you, Jean, Mikasa and the others perform everything so well. If I go on like this, I really am going to die without changing anything." Eren stated in a shaky tone.
Reiner couldn't see Eren's face, since it was looking at the ground, but he knew his friend was crying.
"Hey..." Reiner murmured, crouching and grasping Eren's shoulder, "We're soldiers. It's our duty to give our hearts to humanity."
Eren gazed at him, tears in his eyes just as the blond thought.
"You said you would kill all the titans. You can't go back on that vow...if it's you...I'm sure you can do it." Reiner told him encouragingly.
Eren sniffed and nodded, "Yeah...you're right." Reiner patted his shoulder before moving a bit farther away and sitting on the ground.
The two cadets in training stayed in silence for a few minutes, until the brunette slowly stood up straight.
After walking a few steps to show Reiner that he was okay, Eren and the blond resumed the circuit with the 3DMG.
Much later, in the male barracks: Reiner, Eren, Armin, Connie, Bertholdt, Jean, Marco, and Thomas were around several small connected tables, playing cards together and occasionally talking about how training was becoming increasingly harder, or how the situation of the military and of the population of Wall Rose, was.
Thomas said that Wall Rose's inhabitants had had problems with their food and wealth, ever since the arrival of the refugees from Wall Maria.
In fact, now, the current population of Wall Rose, including the remaining refugees from Wall Maria, barely had enough to go by these days.
Thomas ashamedly confessed that he joined the military just because soldiers received more food than anyone else.
The situation wasn't ideal anymore even in Trost. Thomas' own hometown.
"You must think I'm quite the rascal." Thomas stated quietly, seeing everyone's surprised faces.
"Not at all. If you'll still serve humanity, then it doesn't matter why you're here." Eren told him. Reiner and the others also murmured their agreement with Eren's statement.
Unfortunately the brunette decided to suddenly ruin the mood, "At least you're not like a horse faced asshole I know."
Jean smirked, as if he knew Eren would say something like that, "Well, at least I'm not a suicidal bastard that will die needlessly by the mouth of a titan." Jean remarked mockingly.
Eren gritted his teeth, "I'm never gonna hide from the titans like you plan to do."
Jean's smirk disappeared. He and Eren stared at each other angrily, until Reiner decided to distract them before things escalated further than just murderous looks.
"Have you heard about the latest expedition of the Survey Corps?" Eren and everyone else turned towards him curiosly.
Of course, Jean, Connie, Marco and the others weren't as interested in the Survey Corps as much as Eren and Armin were, but Reiner knew that hearing about what the most active military force of "humanity" had been doing would probably interest even Jean.
"It seems like they planned another expedition 3 weeks ago. From what I know, they were transporting construction supplies towards Shiganshina when suddenly, after a few hours of riding towards Wall Maria: a large group of titans was spotted directly in their way by their scouts; with abnormals quickly nearing their formation, they had no choice other than leaving their supplies for a quick retreat."
Everyone stayed silent at that. Even if not every cadet in the room held the Survey Corps in high regards, no one could deny that their failure was a great loss for humanity. Until Wall Maria wasn't repaired, titans would invade its territory and only make the recovery of it, a far away dream.
"Where did you get this information?" Armin asked quietly, breaking the silence that had engulfed the cadets for a few minutes. The blond was looking at him with his big, blue orbs.
His expression had seemed a bit saddened by the news Reiner gave him, his body a bit slumped, as if deeply defeated.
But his demeanor had changed just before asking that question.
"Four days ago: me, Jean, Marco and some of the other cadets were sent to Trost, by the Commandant, to buy supplies for the cadets and the other instructors. Remember?"
"Yeah, I do remember that. I just want to know from who you got this information."
Reiner looked at him curiosly, "I bought a newspaper which had a very large article on the matter."
"Did the newspaper mention the collaboration or any comments of the commander of the Survey Corps in writing the article?"
Reiner looked at Armin in confusion, just like everyone else in the room.
"Now that I think about it, I don't remember reading anything that mentioned something similar to what you just asked...what are you thinking Armin?"
The blond seemed a bit flustered by his question, "W-well, it's just a thought that invaded my mind, b-but I don't thi-"
"Shoot." Reiner simply said, interrupting his negative sentence.
Armin visibly swallowed, "Keep in mind, that it's all just speculation." Everyone nodded.
After that, the blond started to speak.
"I heard that the commander of the Survey Corps, Erwin Smith, is incredibly smart. Now, I don't know if that's true or not since we never met him, but if the rumors are true and what you told me is correct," at this he gestured to Reiner, "I thought that maybe the commander left the supplies there on purpose."
Everyone was confused by Armin's thought, and the blond noticed it.
"Now you're thinking, 'Why would he do that?' Well, I think the commander knows that he can't make a single trip towards Shiganshina with carriages transporting building materials. He would sustain too many casualties if he tried something like that."
Armin stopped to make everyone mull over what he said. He was about to continue when Reiner realized that Armin's theory was very likely, especially after remembering a detail he didn't mention.
"Y-you're right." Reiner stated abruptly, surprising Armin and the others, "I just remembered that the article said that the Survey Corps retreated to Karanese district instead of Trost. There's only one reason they would risk losing more lives to retreat to a far away town when there's one even closer. The reason would be..."
Reiner's words struck a chord inside Armin's mind.
"...to attract the large group of titans that followed them to an area where they wouldn't be in the way of the next expedition."
"To attract the large group of titans pursuing them, to Karanese so that the path from Trost to Shiganshina was clearer."
Reiner and Armin said in unison, with awe clear in their voices. Eren grinned after hearing their theories, knowing neither Armin nor Reiner would think up statements like that out of delusion or hope.
The others had mixed feelings: Some were indifferent to Reiner's and Armin's words, while some were smiling for the possible actions Erwin Smith committed. It was a small step for humanity, but it was probably the most useful action committed to reconquer Wall Maria in the last four years.
But Reiner couldn't see it that way though. Nothing awaited the people trapped inside the walls other than death and suffering.
Defeating the titans was an impossible feat for normal people.
His thoughts probably showed on his face because Armin and some of the others looked at him in concern.
"What is it Reiner?" The other blond asked him.
Reiner answered after a brief moment.
"I was just thinking that even if that was the Commander's plan all along...it'll still take a long time for it to be completely worth the sacrifices. Especially since humanity's opinion of the Survey Corps is damaged thanks to the newspapers and the own regiment's inability to bring positive results quickly. I know it's a soldier's duty and responsability to give his or her heart to humanity...but how can soldiers believe they are changing anything if they don't see results even after countless sacrifices?" He asked quietly.
Almost everyone had slight grim expressions on their faces, after hearing Reiner's thoughts. His worries were something they could relate to.
Jean was really surprised to hear Reiner say that. It was exactly where he was coming from. Humans were at an extreme disadvantage against titans. He wasn't as stupid as to think he would be able to kill all the titans instead of dying meaninglessly. That's why he wanted to join the Military Police and hopefully, live a long and peaceful life...plus, Marco wanted to join the Military Police too, and he was one of the only people he liked spending time with. There wasn't a single reason for him to believe he could change or help change anything.
"Well, that was certainly gloomy." Connie abruptly said.
Reiner looked at everyone in surprise.
"Oh...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin the mood with useless worries. Weren't we about to start another round of cards?"
"Actually, I have a better idea. Just give me a minute." Connie stated, before walking towards his bunk and bringing out several bottles of liquor from under it.
Everyone was shocked beyond words.
Marco was the first one to talk.
"H-hey, where did you get all that?" He asked even if he already guessed the answer. The aspiring Military Police soldier looked towards the entrance of the room, expecting the Commandant to appear at any moment.
"Y-y-yeah, where did you get that?!" Thomas asked in alarm while standing up, ready to run away.
"Relax relax." Connie tried to calm everybody in the room. "Me and Sasha raided the instructors' pantry today and while she only took food, I decided to take these." He said, flushing a bit in embarassment. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that he would be severely punished if he was caught.
"Are you crazy?!" Armin asked, almost shouting.
The blond was sweating even more than Bertholdt. Eren and Reiner seemed to have similar thoughts as Armin if their expressions were any clue. While Jean was thinking that if Shadis entered in their room right now; he would absolutely snitch on Potato Girl and Connie for their stupidity...maybe even add Eren to the mix just for the sake of it.
"Come on, I meant for all of us to drink it. We probably won't have a chance to drink together once we graduate. We'll be going to different regiments...we won't be able to celebrate all together like this." Connie tried to coax them.
"Plus, I have to get rid of the evidence of my theft...don't I?" The boy whispered conspirationally.
That seemed to do it because Eren stood up and went straight for one of the bottles.
"You know what, even if we do get the chance to drink together, Mikasa will probably be there to stop me from doing as I like. It's better to let loose now that I can." He said, opening the bottle.
"That's because she's the only one who can stop that stubbornly suicidal head of yours." Jean murmured quietly, unheard by everybody.
Armin gaped at Eren in shock, "W-what are you doing?!"
"I just said it. I'm going to let loose, right now. You should do it too, Armin."
"W-what?! But Connie stole all that. The Commandant isn't stupid, he'll know you drank his liquor if you drink too much of it."
Eren had an annoyed expression on his face even though he knew that Armin was right.
"Ok, I'll drink just a few glasses...if you'll drink too." Eren said, already filling two cups.
Armin was about to protest when Eren raised a finger, signalling him to wait.
"Come on, Armin. I know it's not good to do this but it'll probably be the only time we do it. I promise that we'll only have a few cups." The brunette told him with a sincere expression on his face.
Armin was conflicted but eventually gave in. It wouldn't hurt to have a few cups, plus, the blond was actually curious to know how alchool tasted like, "Alright..." He said reluctantly.
Eren grinned as Connie handed a full cup at Thomas.
Jean was also filling a cup for himself after convincing Marco that he wouldn't drink too much.
After a bit of hesitation, Reiner stood up and grabbed what remained of the opened bottle of liquor.
"Reiner, we really shouldn't." Bertholdt told him, gently grasping his arm, looking at him almost pleadingly.
The blond didn't know why his friend was looking at him like that. It's not like he was doing anything bad by drinking with everybody. They were all friends here.
Reiner grinned at his dark haired friend, "Don't worry Bert, we're not gonna get caught. We're only helping Connie 'get rid' of the evidence of his crime."
"We really shouldn't..." Bertholdt repeated, whispering to himself. Ignoring his words, Reiner handed him an almost filled to the brim cup while slowly sipping his own.
The eight cadets spent the rest of the evening drinking and exchanging jokes.
They talked about Connie running to the toilet a few days ago, only for him to return not even half a minute later, having forgotten the reason he ran to it. About Bertholdt's latest sleeping position and the fact that it brought rain instead of a clear sunny day as it did many times before. The fact that Armin was still very skinny even if he was training harder, and the Commandant's pleasure in scolding and punishing Sasha and Eren for every single mistake they did.
All of them made drunken promises of drinking together like this again after becoming soldiers, even though it would be very difficult.
Armin's and Eren's few cups became two whole bottles, shared only between the two of them. Jean drank almost an entire bottle alone. At a certain point Thomas joined him.
Connie and Marco were the only ones who contained themselves though they still drank half a bottle each.
Bertholdt was the one who drank the most; more than one bottle and a half as he felt his fears, worries and feelings disappear by the lightheadedness that the liquor brought after a few cups. Reiner was a bit surprised, but didn't stop his friend.
Much later, after curfew. Everyone slumped on their respective beds and immediately went to sleep. Marco pulled a blanket on Jean's sleeping form before laying on the bed near his. Thomas did the same to Connie.
Just as Reiner was about to get under his covers, Bertholdt spoke to him in low murmurs.
"You know, you were right. I should have loosened up sooner. They're all really friendly." He said with a slight hiccup and giggle.
The blond smiled in satisfaction. Finally Bertholdt recognized that he had nothing to fear fro-
"Too bad Annie and the others couldn't join us..."
Reiner looked at him in confusion, "What are you talking abo-"
His childhood friend ignored him, "...it would have been beautiful to see her..." He hiccuped, "The Warriors..." Another hiccup, "...together again." He murmured in an almost inaudible whisper. Bertholdt fell asleep and unbeknownst to him, his words triggered memories that Reiner had forgotten about.
The blond had frozen at the word Warriors, and for the umpteenth time in the last year, he felt a wave of utter disorientation hit him.
It happened again. He forgot about the fact that he was a Warrior and not a Soldier again. He was losing himself. His 'blackouts' happened suddenly and there was nothing he could do to stop them.
As Reiner watched his friend sleep, he understood that it was time to tell him of his...problem.
There was no one else here who would help him other than him.
~~~~~~~~~~
Hello again and sorry for the long wait. Updates won't be completely regular unfortunately but I can promise that there will be a new chapter at least once a month. Having said that, I hope you all like this chapter and enjoy the pure epicness of today's episode as much as I will.
Bertholdt is my fav so I will highly enjoy every second of episode 15, though I already watched some of the leaks already posted on youtube yesterday.
Guest: By the way, Annie thinks that the members of the government aren't eldians because if they were, they wouldn't be working in the government, as the Founder would have just wiped their memories to not keep such uncertain and greedy allies on his side. At least that's my reasoning.
In the anime it is also mentioned that there were some families which weren't affected by the memory wipe. Some of these families were the Ackermans, and the Oriental Clan (so, someone from the Azumabito family or at the very least from Hizuru). Because they said that only some of these families were the two above, I assumed that there were other ones that were actually given noble status to keep their silence on the truth of the world.
I hope that what I said made sense. Tell me if I'm wrong though.
Until next time.