Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, any related franchise or the characters
Ikkaku and Yumichika looked at the diary curiously.
"We're reading a cookbook" lied Rukia.
"A Cookbook?" questioned Ikkaku.
Renji nodded vigorously. "It's fascinating. Want to join us?"
"We got Hollows to finish. Some of Aizen's weirdos are still hanging around Karakura Town and we have the day off so we came over looking for a good fight. You wimps can sit and read a sissy book"
Rukia held her breath. Had her trick actually worked?
Unfortunately, Renji exploded the second Ikkaku said 'wimp' and within minutes Zabimaru and Hozukimaru were locked in combat. As they thrust their swords and dodged each other's blows in midair, Yumichika flicked a non existent speck of dust off his clothes and sniffed daintily. "Being wimpy is not beautiful" he informed Rukia.
She sighed. Every male except Chappy the Rabbit was an idiot.
She jumped down and picked up the red notebook. "Want to read Ichigo's diary with me?"
"Wasn't that supposed to be a cookbook?"
"It is a recipe for trouble, so technically, it's a cookbook"
They settled themselves in the garden and began to read:
Inoue Orihime. The first thing that pops into my mind when I think about her are her nice…features. She's Tatsuki's best friend although they're polar opposites. Orihime is shy and sweet where Tatsuki's strong and fiery.
"You sound like you know both of them very well" growled Rukia.
Yumichika lifted one elegant eyebrow but didn't say anything.
We have a long and incredibly complicated history. I knew Orihime had a crush on me for a long time. How could I not notice when she literally threw herself at me all the time, sent fluttering damsel-in-distress looks, blushed and stammered?
But her infatuation with me eventually passed and that would have been the end of it all had we not made a major mistake.
"Kurosaki Ichigo! What did you do?" screamed Rukia, her mind racing through every possibility from pregnancy to drunken partying.
"Do stop shouting, Rukia. It is certainly not beautiful and you're making my feathers droop"
We kissed.
The crows living in nearby trees squawked indignantly and decided to fly south earlier this year. Whoever was letting these strange wild animals out unattended ought to be sued! "Destroying the peace in a perfectly respectable neighbourhood" grumbled one bird as he pulled out a struggling worm from the ground.
I'm not saying that it wasn't good. It was amazing. But still it made things very uncomfortable when we went to the Soul Society together. By that time I had figured out that Uryuu wasn't a girl so I tried throwing him and Orihime together but it didn't really work. Then again, any girl who's proven herself to be the possessor of remarkable taste by choosing me wouldn't exactly run after a guy whose face is framed by a pair of greasy Niagara Falls.
"You'll be the one who falls. Off Sokyoku Hill!"
Oh well, full marks to me for effort. It was up to her to get over it now. I'd tried to help her.
"That's it? That's all the effort you put in? You insensitive idiot!" screeched Rukia.
"Inoue is beautiful" remarked Yumichika. Rukia turned to glare at him but he nonchalantly began to brush to his feathers.
I think I did succeed to some extent. She calls me 'Kurosaki-kun instead of Ichigo now, so that's an improvement, right? I hope so.
Still, Inoue is sorta special to me.
"Hey Yumichika, the stupid cookbook's that interesting?" asked Ikkaku as he crashed into a nearby tree. Yumichika's reply was lost in the sound of a loud crash as the tree fell over and squashed a group of crows.
Ikkaku launched himself into the air once more, clearly enjoying the fight. Yumichika sighed and said, "I do wish that you wouldn't turn the book into a shard of ice. It may not be particularly beautiful but it is vaguely interesting"
Rukia glanced down. The book in her hands was slowly being covered by a layer of frost. She frowned. Usually, she had excellent control over her power. What could possibly have her zanpaktou so upset?
"What's wrong, Sode no Shirayuki?"
"Just read the next page!" screamed her zanpaktou furiously.
Uh-oh, what could the diary have that's got Sode no Shirayuki so mad? Any guesses?
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