Hi guys sorry for the last chapter being so rushed but all chapters played in one night so far so it was kinda hard to write. I hope this'll turn out better! Still have to get into the story and all. I think some of you may be upset that Erin slept with Josh but I just want to point out that she did that because she is undercover and Josh got suspicious.
"It's time." He says after he hung up the phone.
I don't know if I really want to do this but if we want to get the people who are behind the heroin that has been going around these past months, I guess I don't have a choice. I hate that it is connected to Josh. I don't want to spend another second with this person. He reminds me so much of Charlie. I've seen him lash out on people for not paying in time. He is so messed up it's scary, and I can't believe that I have to go this far to cover up my identity. Thanks Jay.
It's easy to blame him. I don't have to talk to him and I don't have to look into his beautiful eyes that make me question everything I do. Or at least used to.
"You should get ready." Josh pulls me out of my thoughts.
"Alright. So what's the plan for now?" I ask, hoping he actually has one and isn't this stupid aggressive drug dealer I think he is.
"The plan is that you, my beautiful little angel," he puts his hand on my cheek as if he is trying to convince me "you are going to help me sell that H and then we get the hell outta here."
"Alright let me call some people and see what I can do." I say knowing that if I really want to get the people behind this, I actually have to put this junk on the streets. And it breaks my heart knowing what it can and will do to people.
Later that morning I've reached out to some people. Some I knew before my life changed completely. "So you're selling instead of buying now huh, Er?" One of them said. I didn't know what to respond. It is scary and challenging to go back to that part of my life. I mean even when I had my 'sabbatical' after Nadia's death I wasn't as fucked up. You can't even compare who I was back then to the person I was after Nadia's death. It's funny because people, Jay, actually thought I was my worst self after Nadia's death.
But believe me I was worse and Hank knew that. And he also knew that pushing me would've thrown me back into that life. The life he saved me from all those years ago. He knew I wouldn't fall this deep again. Well let's be honest he didn't know, he hoped, but he for sure knew that pushing me would make it worse. It scares me how he knows me better than anyone, even Jay. He experienced me at my worst and still loved me. Always. Unconditionally. God I miss him.
Speaking of Hank, I think, and call Olivia to let her know how everything's working out so far.
"Benson." Her voice alone makes me smile. This woman is a warrior and the sweetest mother figure you'll ever meet at the same time.
"Hey, Liv. It's me."
"Erin! How's it going? It's been a month! Any updates?" She knows how undercover cases work. She knows that sometimes you don't have the chance to reach out to anyone. Not even your real family.
"Yes. So apparently Josh stole some Heroine from those people. We have to get rid of it and disappear for a while. I guess this whole case will take longer than we thought." I hear her breathe out in exhaustion. She hates it when I'm involved in cases like this one. And she hates it when they turn out to take longer than we thought.
"Okay Erin, do your job and remember to shake it off at the end of the day, okay? You know how this stuff can get to you. Probably even better than I do. Call me as soon as you can with any updates." I can hear in her voice that she's not happy about me being out here. She's so protective she'd rather do it herself if she could, just to keep me out of harms way.
I pack my stuff and think about what I should take with me. I don't know how long this will take so I need to be prepared. When I come across the drawer I stop. I'm not sure if opening it would actually be good for me. But the masochist in me thinks fuck it before I even have the chance to overthink it. It's all still there. Just like the way I left it when I moved in. In the bottom right corner is the picture in the golden frame. It's always been my favorite picture of us. We looked so happy, well we were happy. I remember that night like it was yesterday, but still, it seems like a lifetime ago.
"Erin! We're going to be late hurry up!"
"Jay I'm a woman! I need some time!" I scream out of the bathroom. He hates how I'm always running late. Although it's not because it takes me a long time to get ready, no, I'm just too lazy to get my ass up in the first place and so we always run late and the well trained soldier in him hates it.
"You are unbelievable I told you to get ready two hours ago! You're the messiest person a-" he stops speaking for a second as I come out of the bathroom. "alive." He finishes. "Wow! But also the most beautiful one that's for sure." He says and his face lights up.
I walk towards him. "Don't say stuff like that Halstead you know I can't take compliments." I smack on his shoulder and he comes close to me. I can feel his breath on my face and notice that he put my favorite Parfume on.
"I'm your boyfriend and I'm allowed to say stuff like that. And don't forget that I also called you a messy person 5 seconds earlier." He smirks at me. God that smirk makes me weak.
"But I'm your messy person. There's a difference." I say smiling up at him.
"There is?" He raises his eyebrows.
"Yep. Because knowing" I start coming so close to him that my voice is just a teasing whisper. "what a little control freak you are sometimes." I pause kissing his cheek slightly and I move my mouth to his ear "I kind of have to admit, I do it on purpose sometimes." I pull back and look into his eyes and I can't hide the smile on my lips.
"You-" he stops and grabs me on my waist throwing me over his shoulder.
I squeak and scream "Jay! Stop!" when he throws me onto the bed.
"You're ruining my hair!" And I laugh as he starts tickling me and kissing my neck. He knows it's my soft spot especially after not shaving his face for a few days.
"Say you're sorry!" He says not stopping with his stubble and I can't stop laughing. "Say it, Lindsay!"
"O...okay! Okay! I give up!" I squeak still laughing when he suddenly stops, laughing himself. God I love this man.
"I'm sorry." I pout.
"No no no. Stop with the pouting." He says smiling. "That's not fair." I know it isn't. He can't help but love me even more when I do that. He told me so a million times.
"Okay." I smile and come closer. He gives me the sweetest kiss. "I'm sorry." I say.
He kisses me again. So soft I could stay there forever just kissing him.
"I love you." He says looking into my eyes intensely.
"I love you." I whisper, give him another quick kiss and get off the bed.
"Alright we should go. Hank hates it when people are late. Especially on his birthday."
He smiles at me and takes my hand. "He'll survive, come on let's take a picture. My girl looks hot tonight." He says and we take a selfie. Suddenly i have to laugh. "What?" He asks.
"You would have never said that in front of him." I laugh. "'He'll survive'" I copy him with my men voice and he laughs.
"Yeah you're probably right."
"I always am Halstead." I smirk at him.
I feel tears burning in my eyes and seconds after they drop on his face on the glass. We were so happy. I can't believe how all of this changed in such a short amount of time. I grab everything that's in the drawer and put it in my bag. I can not leave it behind just yet. I just can't. I pack the rest of my stuff and meet up with Josh. We talk about potential customers, make a plan and we get to work.
Okay y'all this is it for this chapter. I really wanted to write a little bit about their past and wanted to point out how hurt Erin still is about their breakup. Let me know what you think! I'll update as soon as possible! Have a lovely Sunday tomorrow!