Next faggoty chapter :3

Shifty was revived at his "house", and contemplated about his financial strategies. He may have been begun to realize how shitty his heists were.

Shifty: hmmm. What was that Lifty had said about a job? Hmmmm.

Shifty: oh yeah! If he could get such a renowned job that fast im sure hes gotten high enough to pull strings and let me in. but, wait. I cant just come crawling back like a little bitch. I have to seem like I found the job by chance. Now. How should I do it?

After hours of fruitless thinking, Shifty walked out of his home in frustration, to take a walk and cool off. He came into the town and saw a video game company building with a sign out front that read: help for graphics design wanted (please bring in your own 3D animation so we can see if you are right for the job. Just then, Shifty saw that Handy was on the 30th story of the company building, washing windows. Handy slipped on one of his discarded rags, and fell off his platform. When he fell 30 stories, instead of landing on the ground he impaled himself on a parking meter. But he was still alive.

Handy: OH MY FUCKING GOD! *pant* pant* UGH SHIT!

As a large torrent of blood flowed out of his mouth, a car came to park there. The car ran of Handy's head, completely crushing it, and shattering the skull. His brains and fluids leaked out, staining the pavement. Shrapnel from the crushed skull flew out and impaled the neck of an unfortunate Petunia, causing her to topple over face first into the horrific mess that was once Handy's brain. At that moment Disco Bear drives by, running over both of them, the still living Petunia gets caught between the wheel and the bottom of the car. Her back is torn to pieces by the wheel, and the helpless Petunia can only gurgle in agony, which is until the wheel reaches her spine and begins ravaging it, causing her head to reflexively jerk upwards, smashing her face so far into the cars rim that her nose is pushed back into her brain, killing her instantly. Since Petunia's body is stuck in a wheel, Disco Bear loses control of the car, and spirals out of control. When the car hits the curb of a side walk, it flips over, and crushes a generic tree friend, and Disco Bear inside. As a horrific mess of blood and oil leaked on to the side walk, the unsuspecting Lumpy, wearing headphones, closing his eyes, smoking a cigarette does not see the disaster. And when he is finished smoking, he tosses the half burning butt to the side. But to the side of him was the bloody oil. When the cigar ignited the oil, the flames traveled to the building that it was behind. When it reached the building, it hit a gas tank the was for some reason in front of the building, and set the whole structure on fire. Many tree friends jumped out, one including Lammy, who made it out unscathed, and fled the scene. One of the people runs out of the building on fire, but he stepped on a colorful oil puddle, causing an explosion which the strolling Flippy just came and witnessed. The explosion reminded him of the grenade that almost took his head off in Nam, so he flipped out. Ho looked for people to kill. He saw Flaky, and picked her up by the legs. He then ran around using Flaky as a mace, goring people with her quills. Then Flippy SPARTAAAAAA jumped at Cuddles and jams Flaky's back into Cuddles's face and torso. After several hours of slaughter Flippy reverts to normal..

Flippy: OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?

Flaky: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? YOU JUST USED ME AS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION!

Shifty watched the massacre jaw-dropped as everything fell apart around him. But just the, Shifty got a fucked up idea.

Shifty: I'VE GOT IT! ILL FILM MYSELF GORING PEOPLE AND SAY I 3D ANIMATED IT! YES!

When Shifty gets his gornography he walks into the building and present his "animation" to the people of the company.

Executive: YOU HIRED!

Shifty: KICK ASS! So when do I start?

Executive: First thing tomorrow.

The Next day shifty got more gorn for his job. When he went to his graphics unit he saw Lifty.

Shifty: oh hey Lifty!

Lifty: so you actually got the job huh? Let's see your work.

Shifty shows him his "animation" however Lifty, being a graphics designer, can tell right away that this is real life.

Lifty: (whispering) YOU FUCKING MONSTER! AND CHEATER! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!

Shifty: You said get a job so I did. By all bloody means possible.

Lifty: they're gonna find out eventually.

Shifty: Maybe so, but think of how much money I'll have?

Lifty: This defeats the purpose of what I wanted you to do! You're still committing crime! Only this time it's a lot fucking worse!

Shifty: Well then you shouldn't have told me to get a job! :D

Lifty: Fuck you too hell. I hope you fails the first game design asshole!

Lifty: And By the way, the first game we have to design is Soul Caliber 5! GOOD LUCK BITCH!

Shifty struggles to think of ways he could make real life look like soul caliber 5. There was a certain graphics style too it that real life just didn't have. He decides to put his victims in crappy suits in a sad attempt to make it look like the graphics style. Some how, the Executive Panda bought it. And Shifty was not caught. Just then Flippy bust through the door.

Flippy: SHIFTY! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR THE MURDER OF ANDREW CEDRIC, SAMANTHA WILLIAMS, AND GERARD GARRISON!

Shifty: lol wut?

Flippy Tazer him!

Shifty: AHHHHHHHHHHHHARARAR FUUUCKING BIIIIIIIIIITCH!

Then Flippy handcuffs him and hauls his ass into the car.

Later

Toothy: Has the jury reached the verdict?

The Mole: Yes we have. We find Shifty the Raccoon, guilty of murder.

Toothy: Bailiff, take him away.

Shifty: GOD DANMIT NOT AGAIN!

That ends this shitty piece of crap. Cya!