IV. Scared

I hear weapons being drawn behind me as we face my father. I find myself taking my fighting stance. .My father merely shrugs. He stands there, with his pack of vicious wolves, looking at us with a blank expression. I feel my eyes narrow and my muscles tense. I don't want to see him. Never. Not after what he did. What he's doing.

He raises his hand and we automatically raise our weapons. "Please. I come in peace," he says. I shake my head slowly, never letting him out of my sight. "You do not talk, child," he states. "That is unfortunate. You know, if you had talked, maybe Sierra-" he starts, but never gets to finish. On the mention of her name I jump at him, my leg outstretched to kick him. A wolf jumps in my way, but it soon lands on the ground several meters away. I let out a half bark half snarl and launch myself at the bastard.

Around me I hear the snarls and barks and howls from the pack, but Phil, Ivan and Igor are fighting them. I take the leader. I take my father. I bare my teeth and feel my animal senses taking over as the moon begins to rise. I snap at Lycaon's head, wanting to rip it off. He grins and we begin circling each other, the bloodlust written clear on our faces. All we want to do is kill each other. Unfortunately, he ahs the advantage here.

Lycaon is the first to strike. He lashes out with his sharp claws, leaving several long scratches on my face. I can feel the blood running down, and in a strange and sick way, it makes me feel stronger. I duck and roll under Lycaon's feet. He jumps up; just the reaction I wanted. I come up behind him and pounce onto his back, my hands around his neck and my teeth millimetres from sinking into his flesh. So good. The smell of flesh.

He whips around, snapping my neck back, but my hands remain with their firm grip on his neck. I dig my heels into his sides and push myself up, which means he goes down. I feel him sink several inches as his knees start to give away. I clamp my fingers around his Adams apple and push in. He gasps, and I push harder. I also push my thumbs into his carotid arteries. Finally, I feel him fall to the ground. I get off his back, backing off slowly, my hands still in front of me so that I can block or punch- whatever is necessary. But he doesn't move.

I hear howl all around me. Several wolves run to Lycaon and hoist him up, while the others circle menacingly. I just growl at them to clear out. Several pull in their tails and only a handful still growl at me. I watch them until I can't see them between the trees anymore. Then I turn, to see Ivan lying on the ground, wounded from a wolf bight, Igor leaning over him, trying to stop the bleeding, and Phil staring at me. I bark at him, literally, and he jumps to attention.

I point towards camp, and he understands. I walk over to Ivan and Igor, deciding to take advantage of my current state. I hoist Ivan onto my shoulders and start running. It's so simple. Almost too simple. I run. Igor follows. I know that I shouldn't be able to lift someone with Ivan's weight, myself being an almost underweight eleven year old. But I feel strength from the previous fight and the moon seems to be shining brighter every time I look at it.

We reach camp in just one hour. We can already see a group of people running towards us, and I can feel my energy draining with the rise of the sun. I become aware of my physical state; that I cannot take another step. I try and stumble into Chiron, who catches me. He takes me by the underarms and puts me on his back, just like he did in Demeter's cornfield. The second I sit down on Chiron's back, I pass out.

I dream of Demeter. She is in the cornfield, smiling at me. But she looks sad. Like something bad has happened. Or is going to happen. I want to reach out and hug her, tell her everything will be okay. But I doubt she speaks wolf. She smiles a tearful smile and touches my forehead softly, right between my eyes. The scene shifts.

I am in a garden of sorts. I look around me. I am wearing what I would've worn about a year ago. One year, fifty three days, one hour and nine minutes ago. I am wearing a light tan jacket and cargo pants. I look up to see herthere. Sierra, with her waist length red hair that is always getting in the way, her brown eyes staring into mine. "Why did you leave, Seth? I needed you."

I want to reply that it's not my fault, and that I need her too. Hell, if she were here, I'd be talking. She just smiles sadly, and her smile reminds me of Demeter's. Right. She was Demeter's daughter. "You were brave, Seth. But why weren't you there? I called for you, but you didn't come…" She reaches out to touch my face, but as she does, everything begins to dissolve. "Why didn't you come?"

I wake up, shivering, in my hammock. I bolt right up, my eyes wide, looking wildly around me. Sierra? Where are you? Then I lean back. It was just a dream. Just a bloody dream. I let out a whimpering howl to no one. Somewhere I can hear rapid footsteps. Someone bursts into my room a few minutes later. I just turn my back to whoever they are. I don't want company. Not right now. Right now, I just want to be alone and think about what could have been.

The person doesn't leave and I begin to feel like I'm under murderer watch. I never change my position, never look behind me. I stare out of the window as the day passes and turns into night. At some point, I see Ivan leave the infirmary with his arm in a sling. But even this doesn't keep my mouth from staying in a firm straight line. I just stare. Jackson going to the arena with Clarisse. Will Solace being carried out of the infirmary, covered in bandages. I wonder what happened. Nico talking to someone who looks suspiciously like Jimi Hendrix.

It's like they think nothing's happening. They all laugh and shrug off events so easily. I guess that just because they defeated a titan, they think that they don't have a care in the world. I clench my fists at this. How can they just be that way? I find myself growling at the window, and a firm hand is placed on my back. I turn to see Phil standing there.

My first instinct is to attack. But look where my last instincts got me. I let out a slow, shaky breath. Phil takes his hand from my shoulder and leans down so we're talking on eye level. "Ya know, if ya wanna talk, any of us will listen." His accent is back. "Look, Chiron's sendin' Percy Jackson on a quest. D'ya really wanna let that happen?" I shake my head. I feel like a stubborn five year old who won't talk. I just shake or nod my head. "Exactly. So, I'll go to Chiron and tell him our plan. You, Ivan, Igor and me, yeah? We got this next quest. I know it," he says with a smile. But this time, his enthusiastic mood doesn't affect me. I turn away, pulling my knees to my chest and laying my head in them. If only I had been there for Sierra.

A few hours later, Phil is back. By his expression I can tell that he didn't get his wish. He kicks a box, sending candy all over the floor. "Damn Percy Jackson. Why in Thanotos' name does he get all the quests? He doesn't even know what happened last nigh!" Outside, a bug drops from the sky, dead. Maybe a side effect of an angry Thanatos son. "I mean, I presented my case well and even Annabeth and Nico backed me up, but Chiron just says that we're too young. Ugh!" He picks up a knife and hurls it at the bull's-eye. It hits dead center and outside, a butterfly drops from the sky. He looks and shrugs. "I never liked butterflies anyway."

Towards evening, we go downstairs for dinner. Igor, who has refused to sit at the Poseidon table with Jackson, is sitting with us, and with him, Ivan. Phil says Thanatos won't mind. Every one dies anyway. We're all the same that way. I guess he had a point. We eat in silence, occasionally glaring at Jackson, but none of us do anything. Once Chiron has spoken, it's final.

I also sometimes look to the Athena table. I can tell by the way Annabeth is glaring at Jackson that she also isn't too happy with him. Nico is talking to a skeleton warrior who looks like he was a Neanderthal, and doesn't notice anything around him; too busy learning how to grunt and snort. It's quieter than usual. And that's sort of disturbing, because Ivan, Igor and Phil were planning on discussing a way to sneak out of camp at night. I guess that'll have to wait until after dinner.

I poke around at my bacon, not feeling like eating it. It's cold anyway. I stand up, not waiting for the end of breakfast, and leave the pavilion, wanting to spend time on my own. I head down to the beach, to s strip that borders the woods that no one except me knows about. It has good waves and dolphins and sharks play freely there, not harming each other. It's like the example of a perfect world: natural enemies living together, playing with each other.

I sit down by the water, letting the evening sun warm my face. I feel warm here; almost complete. Suddenly, I tense. I feel a presence behind me; not a human one. Animal. For a second I think that my father is back, but when I whip around, it's just one wolf.

She is small, whimpering, broken. Her leg is torn up, bleeding, covering the forest floor where she stands. Long scratches cover her left eye, which is caked in blood, almost as if another wolf had lashed out at her. And I recognize her. She was with my dad's pack. She had been the one trying to get to me, but others had held her back. It was like they were attacking her. I stand up, walking towards her with an outstretched hand. Her head is at the height of my stomach; bigger than a normal wolf but small for Lycaon's pack. She first pulls away, but then leans in and lets me touch her forehead.

The moment my hand touches her fur, everything changes. I become aware of everything around me; the colors are brighter. I become aware of the voices. The ones that have always been there, but now they're getting loud. As if they were real. In the distance, people are scared; someone has been attacked. Closer, there is a big fight. I hear many voices, but only two sound human.

Then I hear the wolf's voice. There is a fight, master. The pack has attacked a friend of yours. They're battling very near. I got wounded. I came to you for help. Please go save them. Her eyes are pleading me, and I can tell it's urgent. Not wasting a moment, I jump up and run towards the noises. When I come to where they actually are, I can hear so many voices clearly in my head. It's like always, when I'm around wolves, but this time it's clearer. It's like the wolf is permanently in me. It scares me. Hearing people's and wolves' thoughts.

I run into the center of the fight, where someone is battling a wolf that is about twice their size and triple their weight. The person is Phil. The wolf bites his shoulder and rips it out, blood spraying everywhere, and tosses it aside. Phil screams in agony and sinks to the ground, bleeding out into the soil. The wolf gives a bark like laugh. Foolish boy, it thinks.

I charge. I don't know why, but it's like my mind goes blank and is being replaced by some killing machine's mind. It's not me who's acting. It's my wolf instincts. I sink my teeth into the huge wolf's neck, tearing at it. Oh, pesky little son of a bitch, the wolf thinks and I tear harder. When I get a chunk of neck out, I throw it aside just like Phil's shoulder, and go for more. The wolf's eyes go big as it recognizes me. Retreat! We have special orders, retreat! That is a command! Samu, stop eating that fox, this is an order, retreat!

Then they're gone. I fall to the ground next to Phil, so tired I'd fall asleep if he weren't dying. I press the wound, trying to get the bleeding to stop, but it won't. Chelsea, I'll never see her again. I'll die and she'll know nothing. And Percy Jackson will get my fucking quest. Damn it. He opens his eyes and smiles weakly at me. "There's a girl from the Ares cabin. Her name's Chelsea. Tell her I loved her. Or… uh… get Ivan or Igor to do it. Huh. Now I'm dying, mind telling me why ya don't talk?" He sounds so sure. I open my mouth and start speaking, but no words come out. Only silence. My lips are moving, but my voice is gone. Phil tries to put up his hand, but drops it. "It's okay. Just fight this war for us, will ya? I'm countin' on ya now, mate."

Those are Phil's last words. I close his eyes, and he looks peaceful, like I never knew he could be. A faint figure appears next to him, flickering. I catch random glimpses of him. He's got black hair and eyes that are pure blue. He looks almost like a god. A god. Thanatos. He looks at me and smiles sadly. "It was his time. Yours will come too, soon." He places his hand on Phil's face and it looks like he is drawing a light from him. Phil's essence. I feel the wolf from earlier on rest her head on my shoulder as I kneel on the forest floor, crying over Phil's blood that still forms a red blotch on it. Yours will come too, soon.

What do you think?

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