_o\O/o_
"Data, it is good manners to remove one's headwear at the supper table."
Keen yellow eyes scanned back and forth.
"That is only true for approximately 22% of modern human cultures."
Julianna pursed her lips.
"My house, my rules, young man." God, when did I turn into my mother?
Data's only response was to take an uncharacteristically large bite out of his biscuit.
"The unyeasted breadstuffs are particularly rotund tonight, Mother."
"Don't talk with your mouth full. And don't change the subject."
He chewed and swallowed exaggeratedly. "You will be pleased to hear that my salivary emitters are compensating adequately for their anhydrous consistency."
"Data."
He met her eyes and his hands seemed to rise automatically. They hovered near his baseball cap for an instant — then adjusted it an imperceptible fraction and dropped back into his lap.
"I shall retain my hat."
"Noonien, say something!"
Soong huffed through his nose, his eyes fixed on a page of the old medical text he had propped up next to his plate.
"First we couldn't keep him in his clothes, now we can't get him out of that stupid uniform."
He tucked a forkful of greens into his cheek and spared Data a sharp blue glance before returning to his book. He laughed again to himself as he chewed.
"It'd be less annoying if he could actually play worth a damn."
"Noonien!"
But Data only nodded mildly.
"My teammates have expressed similar doubts about Captain Biju's arguably premature decision that I begin participating in games. Nhoe has even gone so far as to question her sanity, to which her only reply has been to tap her temporal hollow three times and say, 'crazy like a Relvan sandcat' — a response which I find cryptic in the extreme. Perhaps she believes a competitive context will accelerate my skill acquisition."
"Or maybe she's just an idiot."
Julianna threw down her napkin in disgust.
"A nice, quiet, normal family dinner. Is that so much to ask?"
Data cocked his head. Recent events had led Nhoe to explain to him the adage "look on the bright side" and its frequently positive effect on human morale. This seemed to be an ideal opportunity to experiment with the concept. He reached across the table and gave Julianna's arm three precisely-measured pats.
"It may be reassuring to hear that, the current dispute notwithstanding, I have observed a marked increase in overall domestic quietude since Lore's disassembly."
To the android's satisfaction, this appeared to have the desired soothing effect; Mother lowered her eyes and returned to eating. She didn't even object when Father got up and brought the bottle of Yridian whiskey to the table. And no one said another word about Data's hat.
_o\O/o_