And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how
Because maybe
You're gonna be the one saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall
It didn't end that night.
How could it? How could Harry let Draco walk out of the Dining Hall with subtle tears in his eyes and trembling fists he hid from the world? How could Draco keep pushing Harry away over and over again?
He couldn't.
More than once Draco wanted to take the easy way out, wave his wand, mumble a word, and stun Harry, watch his eyes widen in shock before effectively sinking to the ground like a graceful, dying swan, running away from everything he didn't want to be feeling.
Then Draco remembered he needed Harry. Needed him like he needed water but not because he loved him, oh no, never that.
No, it was because Harry had that ability to be stupid and childish and calming and mature and it was infuriating the way he managed to get under Draco's skin and make him smile and want to cry all at the same time.
And it was only because of pity Harry came at all.
And because of this, Draco knew Harry was the only person he was able to both cry to and have the grim knowledge and ability, if need be, to cast Obliviate and stun him, run away, and then be able to mock him the next day.
It was because Draco could love and hate Harry at the same time.
"Malfoy?" Harry was sitting next to him on a desk, his knee just barely touching his. Draco wanted to close the minuscule space between them. He wanted Harry to kiss him like he did in the bathroom.
The way Harry didn't remember.
And the way Draco shouldn't either.
"Yeah?" Draco hated his voice. It sounded weak.
"You okay?" Harry gave Draco a small smile.
Pity.
...And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding...
That's all this is, Draco squeezed his eyes shut. Pity. His heart drummed unsteadily.
"Yeah," Draco repeated dully. A sudden draft of air blew through the room like cool breath on a cheek. Harry shivered and pulled his robes tighter around himself. The silky cotton teasingly shifted against Draco's bare arm.
"Hermione and Ron will be looking for me," Harry said finally, breaking the thick air, his voice flat. The air resumed its heaviness almost instantly, swallowing Harry's words.
"Right," Draco replied, voice even and coated thickly with sarcasm. It was like cotton in his mouth.
"So I'm leaving now," Harry was watching him intently.
His sense of obligation, Draco felt himself think. He doesn't want to stay. He wants to go. I'm holding him back and we don't even have a relationship. I don't even want a relationship. I don't. I'm not gay. And I'm certainly not gay for Harr...Potter.
"Good," Draco said, regretting his words immediately. They had been spat out, disgustedly. Impatient. Intolerant. Ungrateful. Everything Harry knew Draco was and certainly didn't need reminding.
...There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how...
"Great," Harry had stood up carefully, rocking back and forth on his heels. "Are you sure?"
"Sure what?" Finally breaking the single-reply mold Draco often found himself in. He didn't want to talk. Didn't want more proof that this Draco Malfoy was the same one he was in the hallways or the classrooms or the dorm rooms.
"Your okay?"
"Yes, Potter."
"Just...checking."
"Well, I'm fine, thank you. I don't need you coddling me."
"I'm just helping." The words were angry now.
"I don't need your help."
"Apparently you do." Sharp. This time Harry managed to successfully slice the air.
Draco didn't say anything. Familiar tears prickled his eyes but he felt like he had been watching the whole exchange through a thin, filmy sheet of plastic.
Harry left then, his trainers ringing around the classroom, leaving an echo even after he had left and the sound had ended.
...Because maybe
You're gonna be the one saves me...
"Sorry."
Whispered with breathy, cool air against his cheek, Harry straightened up, gave the smallest of subtle smiles to Draco and left, walking back to his seat next to Weasley.
Through the thick, smoky haze of simmering potions and chattering students, Draco watched the red-headed boy cast an irate glance and silently moved his mouth, saying unknown words of confusion to Harry. Harry responded wordlessly.
Both gave Draco filthy looks. Draco cast an eager sneer to both of them.
But when nobody was looking, pale-gray eyes softened and clear, green eyes smiled.
It was the first interaction they had where it was some form of friendly. Not pity and need.
Draco basked in it.
...And after all
You're my wonderwall.
//
Author's Note:
Sorry for the choppy way it's written. It's just how Draco is feeling about everything and I wanted to convey that. I'm pretty proud about how fast I managed to update though…only a few days! ^.^
Usually it takes me at least a week.
Although it is kind of short...
Forgot to do the disclaimer for last chapter:
I don't own Harry Potter. Never will unless I suddenly become very, very rich and manage buy the rights off J.K. Rowling. I also sadly don't own 'It Ends Tonight (All-American Rejects)' or 'Wonderwall (Oasis).'
This chappie is dedicated to the fabulous DrawerDiary who suggested this song and has been an amazing fan and reviewer from the very start.
Which, I also forgot to mention last chapter, any and all song suggestions are welcome (Whether for now or later on in the series) and if I choose your song the chapter is dedicated to you. =)
Big, mucho grande thanks to HeartofaGoddess2009, purplerawr, DrawerDiary (again) and Draco and Hermoine is like PBJ (For being fabulous and my second Fan-Since-The-Start-And-Has-Reviewed-Every-Chapter-You-Amazing-Person-You!). Also huge thanks to everyone who favorited me and added me to story alerts.
Love you all, big kisses!
Mwah!