Chapter 3~ Fears

I came home the first day of school and Naruto was already there waiting for me, which would have been odd if I hadn't stayed after school for a fight on the first day. (by fight, I mean me kicking his ass and him doing nothing against it). I ended up getting stuck in the counselors office for three frickin' hours talking about how my past must leave me with pent up angers.

I told the idiot, "Not really, he just annoyed me so I popped him one or two." Whish he replied to with a, "Sasuke, it took three people to get you off of him. He has bite marks." And my face might've flushed just a bit at that.

Kushina was on me as soon as I walked through the door. She was all fiery fury, an Amazon shinigami in the making. "What the hell is this I hear about yu being in a fight?" she demanded.

"It was nothing." I said with a growl.

"Don't give me that shit, he was in the fucking hospital Sasuke!" she yelled. I walked past her to my room. "They could sue you know!" I turned to face her, throwing my shit in my room angrily.

"What the fuck do you care? Huh? What does it matter to you? If they sue, it'll be out of my bank account, not yours!" I shouted. She shrank back for a moment then changed her mind and marched over to me.

"Don't you take that tone of voice with me! I was so gracious to let you in my house and this is how you treat me?"

"First of all, this is Dad's house! Second of all, what my mother did with Dad is no reason for you to take that anger out on me!"

"I don't take my anger out on you Sasuke. Where do you get this idea?"

"Don't play dumb! You've never fucking liked me! You've hated my guts! I don't know if it's because you can't stand the fact that Dad was in love with Kaa-san before he met you, or if it's because of what happened to me but you need to remember, and get this trough your skull you stupid bitch, that I NEVER FUCKING CHOSE ANY OF IT!!" I screamed. She jumped, now she was retreating, taking step back after step back while I was advancing on her step for step. "I DIDN'T ASK FOR MY HERO TO KILL EVERY ONE I CARED ABOUT! I NEVER ASKED TO BE RAPED ON CAMERA OVER AND OVER AGAIN BY MY OWN FATHER AND HIS LITTLE BUDDIES AND I NEVER ONCE ASKED FOR DAD AND KAA-SAN TO HAVE AN AFFAIR THAT RESULTED IN ME!!!" I stopped to breathe when her back hit the wall. She was afraid, afraid I was going to be like Itachi? No, never. I wouldn't put Naruto through that. Not without good reason. I turned and ran to my room, slamming my door shut.

I could hear Naruto crying in his own room. Angry at myself, I buried my face in my pillow and screamed my lungs out. I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but I know I was crying when it happened.

When I woke up I could hear Kushina and Dad arguing. Kushina was saying I was too violent and mentally stressed. Dad was telling her it was no wonder I was screaming my lungs off at her, every time she saw me she bitched me out for something.

"I do not bitch him out!" Kushina snapped.

"You do too! He does nice things for you and you yell at him five minutes later. People try to tell you the nice things he does for you and you ignore them." He retorted.

"Like what Minato? What're some nice things he's done for me?" she demanded.

"How about that gold necklace? He bought it for your birthday. But you wouldn't accept it from him. So he gave it to Naruto for him to give it to you for him. Naruto tried to tell you but you ignored it, asked him if he got it all by himself." Dad said. He wasn't yelling, Dad never yelled. Hell, he didn't even raise his voice. He says, talking in normal tones creates a sort of respect between two people when they're arguing.

"Last Christmas he paid for the marble counter tops you wanted so bad. The Christmas before that he bought you that French dress you love so much and wear everywhere. He's bought you things I didn't even know you wanted and you make other people take the credit. He's only ever wanted you to accept him. You're a part of his life now. When he grows up, I doubt he's going to remember Mikoto at all. He'll remember you. You're the one who's going to leave the lasting impression. So why not make it a good one Kushina? Why not be a woman he wants to call mother?"

Naruto slid into my room and reshut the door. He crawled in my bed and forced his way under me. He clung to me, trembling and whimpering. "I'm scared Nii-san." He whispered. I held him.

"There's no reason to be scared Naruto. I'll always protect you." I whispered to him.

"I can't help it, I always get scared when you yell." He mumbled.

"Then I won't yell anymore." I promised. He looked at me. "Ever again."

"You're so lucky nii-san. You're not scared of anything." He stared at me in awe. I smiled and rolled out positions.

"But I am scared of something." He looked shocked. "Losing you." I whispered. He made a face. "Alright alright. I'm also afraid of video cameras, horses, and the dark." His eyes got big.

"You're scared of the dark too?" he asked. I nodded gravely. "Because of the monsters in it right?" he asked. I nodded again. He laid his head on my chest and sighed. "I guess, if Nii-san is scared of things... then it's okay to be scared."

"That's right. It's okay to be scared every now and then. You just tell me when you're scared and I'll hold you so tightly that nothing will be able to get you, not even the fears." I kissed his head, breathing in his cinnamon smell.

"I love you Nii-san." He whispered.

"I love you too Naruto." I replied with a small smile. He sighed and slipped into a deep sleep. I disentangled myself from him and walked out. Kushina was sitting with Dad in the living room. They were deathly silent and staring at the baby monitor on the coffee table. Where the hell has she hidden the damn thing in my room now? In my fucking pillow.

"Sasuke, there you are." Dad smiled at me, approving.

"It's time we set up some boundaries." I said, looking at Kushina passively. She nodded in agreement. "First off, strop treating me like a rapist. I'll never ever touch Naruto like that." I said stiffly. She stared at me. "Secondly, get that damn baby monitor out of my room. Do you wanna hear it if I do start satisfying my urges?" she paled slightly.

"Alright, the monitor goes and... I'm sorry. I just knew someone when I was younger who... had circumstances similar to yours and he did it to others." She whispered. Her eyes were full of shame. "But, I want Naruto to start sleeping in his own room. He's a big boy now. And when you have something for me, don't be afraid to give it to me or tell me it was from you. I'll accept it." she said. I nodded.

"Anything else?" I asked. She seemed thoughtful.

"Give me a hug?" she said quietly. "And let me apologize properly?" I sighed in relief and hugged her.

"Apology accepted... mom." I whispered. She smiled and held me.

"So when can I hear you sing again oh great one?" she giggled slightly. Dad must've told her about what happened in the body art shop.

"Well... maybe-" I cut off as Naruto gave a restless whimper and cry from the room. "Shit, I forgot to sing to him." I said. I ran for my room. "I always sing to him." I said, figuring they'd hear it in the baby monitor.

"It's okay... It's okay.... It's okay." I sang softly to Naruto as I gathered him in my arms. "Seasons are changing, and waves are crashing and stars are falling all for us. Days grow longer and nights grow shorter. I can show you I'll be the one. I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. 'cause you're my, you're my... my, my true love. My whole heart. Please don't throw that away. 'Cause I'm here for you. Please don't walk away and please tell me you'll stay." I sang, feeling him calm in my arms.

"Use me as you will, pull my strings just for a thrill. And I knew I'd be okay, though my skies are turning grey. I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you though it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven."

"Did he come up with that on his own?" Mom asked from the doorway. They were standing there watching.

"Yeah, but he says he's got people asking to buy it from him. He's gonna sell it to one of his buddies in America. Weirdest band name too."

"What's that?"

"Red Jumpsuit Apparatus or something." Dad shrugged and the shut my door, leaving us be. I heard the click of the monitors turning off.