Chapter 4

As SpongeBob was walking home, he had a huge smile on his face. Everything had turned out well. Turned out great, in fact. He couldn't have imagined things going better than they did. He still had one of his best friends and he revealed a secret he'd long kept unspoken.

The setting sun seemed brighter than usual, the water felt more warm. He was so happy at that moment that Larry could have beaten him at twenty competitions and he wouldn't be upset. Not that much, at least.

" La, la, la! La, la, la, la! La, la, la! La, la, la, la!" SpongeBob sang as he walked down the road, Patrick's rock coming into view. SpongeBob smiled, planning on spending the rest of the night with Patrick. He hadn't seen much of his best friend lately because of all that had been going on with Sandy so he was planning on making it up to the starfish. Together, they were going to have a night full of fun, fun, fun!

SpongeBob stopped in front of Patrick's rock and knocked three times.

"Patrick, my old friend! Come on out!" SpongeBob exclaimed, excitedly. A minute later, Patrick emerged from the darkness of under the rock. He quickly got into his pants, having been in nothing but underwear, and then walked up to the top of the sand.

" Hey, SpongeBob! How was work?" Patrick asked, kindly. SpongeBob smiled.

"Same old, same old! Now, would you like to spend the night with me?!" SpongeBob cried out, trying to psych Patrick up for the great night they were going to have. Patrick's eyes got wide and he hopped up and down.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I sure would! Eeee!!" Patrick waved his arms up and down, and back and forth. SpongeBob laughed and took Patrick by the hand.

"Well, come on! I've got the whole night planned! We'll watch some Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy, then we'll eat some icecream and drink soda until we can't even think straight! We'll have a slumber party, too!!" SpongeBob said excitedly as he and Patrick skipped over to the pineapple, holding hands.

Squidward looked out the window and glared at the two.

Why are they having fun?! he asked himself, irritated. He didn't want SpongeBob or Patrick to have fun. He didn't know why, but watching his neighbors enjoy the day and laugh made him upset. Their happiness always seemed to cause his unhappiness.

He'd once asked his therapist why that was so. The therapist, Mr. Fintip, explained that Squidward may have envied the fact that they were happy and enjoyed their lives, while Squidward was depressed and just wished his life was better. Mr. Fintip even suggested that Squidward should forget about fame, fortune, and hair and instead let loose and have fun. Squidward thought that was crazy talk and he stopped seeing Mr. Fintip.

Now, he wondered as he watched SpongeBob and Patrick disappear into the pineapple.

Do I envy their happiness? Do I really want to... be like them? No, of course not! I want to be rich and famous and get the respect I deserve! I don't want to be a complete imbecile! I don't know what I was thinking!

Squidward turned from the window and walked over to his clarinet. He picked it up and began playing it (or trying, at least).

Well, they do seem to have a lot of fun... Squidward stopped playing and set the clarinet down, walking over to the window and looking outside. The sun was setting and it looked quite beautiful.

When's the last time I had fun? I don't think I've had real fun in years! Well, what should I expect? The people in this city always have fun because they're idiots who think bubble-blowing and jellyfishing is exciting. They're delusional. It takes more than bubble-blowing to amuse my superior mind. Now, being admired... THAT'S fun. I think...

"Hmph. Stupid SpongeBob and his happy-go-lucky attitude. If I weren't around him so much, I wouldn't be having these foolish thoughts!" Squidward said outloud. He decided to paint pictures of himself on stage in front of millions of fans to remind himself that fame would bring the ultimate happiness, not any of the childish games SpongeBob played.

Turning around, Squidward walked over to the paint and began making a work of art.

--

Sandy was in her bedroom, laying down in bed. She was so tired, she hadn't gotten a good night's sleep ever since she told SpongeBob about her feelings for him. She tried falling asleep but she just couldn't. She couldn't stop thinking about SpongeBob and how Squidward was the object of his affections.

"Pfft... Squidward. What does SpongeBob see in him? That squid's never treated SpongeBob with kindness, it makes no sense that he likes him! He deserves better!" Sandy said, her eyes wide and bloodshot. She really needed to sleep, it was affecting her both physically and mentally.

"Calm down, Sandy... jealousy will get you nowhere. It just complicates things! Leave Squidward outta this..." Sandy told herself. She turned over in her bed and hugged her pillow, her eyes wide open.

"Once I've spent all my free time alone with SpongeBob, he'll see that we're meant to be. I'll show him how great it'd be to be my boyfriend. He'll change his mind, for sure! He oughta like nice, little ol' me better than rude, grumpy ol' Squidward," Sandy said, pressing her face hard into the pillow.

Relax! Relax! Relax!

Suddenly, the pillow seemed to be turning yellow. She quickly took her head off it and sat up in her bed, looking down at the pillow with wide eyes.

What the...?

She stared at the pillow as holes suddenly appeared and then big, bright blue eyes and a smile showed up. The pillow stood up, growing legs and arms.

"Hello, Sandy! It's me, you're good friend SpongeBob! Me and Squidward are getting married! We've already picked out the dresses we'll be wearing!" SpongeBob (the pillow) said, now wearing a wedding dress. Sandy screamed and threw the pillow across the room.

"Aaaah!! I'm goin' nuts!! Get ahold of yourself, Sandy old girl!" Sandy tugged on her ears and shut her eyes tight.

"Gah, sleep can wait! I gotta go see SpongeBob! I just gotta see what he's up to!" Sandy cried, jumping out of bed and putting on her suit. She left the treedome, sweating and red-eyed.

--

Sandy hid behind a coral tree, which was across the street from Patrick, Squidward, and SpongeBob's house. She looked at Patrick's rock and found nobody there. She looked at Squidward's house, and who else did she see but Squidward in the left window? She glared and growled, and before she could even think rationally she was running up to Squidward's front door.

--

"Aaaah, there! It's genius!" Squidward said, looking at his beautiful masterpiece. It was a painting of him playing his clarinet in front of thousands of adoring fans. Even Squilliam was there, but instead of wearing his usual clothes he was now wearing a stained and tattered shirt and he was looking up at Squidward with sadness in his eyes. Squidward laughed and went into the bathroom to wash his hands.

"Ladadee, ladadoo, ladadum... ladadee, ladadoo, ladadu--" Squidward began but he heard the doorbell.

"SpongeBob..." Squidward whispered, squinty-eyed. He shut the water off and went down the stairs to tell SpongeBob to leave him alone.

He reached the bottom floor and then walked over to his door, opening it. What greeted him was pain as he was thrown across the street by a powerful source, hitting his head on a rock. He held his head, crying out in pain.

" Ow!! Hey! What on Earth do you think you're doing?!" Squidward yelled, glaring at the person who had thrown him. He noticed it was Sandy and this caused him to lift a brow. He wondered what Sandy was doing knocking on his door at 7pm and he especially wondered why she was physically abusing him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Squidward! I thought you knew karate!" Sandy said, standing before Squidward. Squidward stood up from the ground, only to be pushed over.

"Woah! Cut it out! What is your problem?! I don't know karate, get away from me!" Squidward yelled, getting up again. Sandy was glaring at him, so he did the same.

" I don't have problems!" she said.

"Oh, yes you do! What were you doing knocking on my door at this hour?! And why'd you throw me across the street?!" Squidward yelled, putting his hands on his hips and squinting at Sandy. Sandy folded her arms over her chest and looked off in the other direction.

"Cause you deserve it, that's why," Sandy murmured. Squidward gasped.

"What do you mean I deserve it?! What have I ever done to you?! I've only seen you, like, three times in my life!"

"You took SpongeBob from me, you fool! We'd be together if it weren't for you!"

Squidward scoffed and put his hands to his chest.

"I didn't take SpongeBob from you! What are you talking about?" Squidward asked, curiously.

"You must know that SpongeBob's got feelin's for ya! But he won't for long! Once he sees what it's like to be a boyfriend of Sandy Cheeks, he's gonna fall for me in a heart-beat! You'll be nothin' more than a speck of dust!" Sandy said, smirking at Squidward. Squidward blinked, processing the shocking information. He gasped.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Did you say that SpongeBob has feelings for me?!" Squidward cried, holding his head in his hands. Sandy turned around, heading for the pineapple.

"SpongeBob will be mine, just you wait and see! You sure ain't takin' him from me, you boring ol' squid!" Sandy called back, continuing to walk over to the pineapple as Squidward stood still as a statue.

Squidward's face scrunched up and his left eye twitched as he slowly walked back across the street, going into his house and locking the door.

He took a deep breath, his hand on his chest.

Ew, SpongeBob has feelings for me?! That makes no sense! Why would he have feelings for ME?Oh my... this is not good. It's not good at all!

Squidward slid down to the floor, his back resting on the door. He drew his legs up to his chest and hugged them, his eyes wide. This new-found information was really freaking him out.

Why does he like me? Its not like I treat him nicely... I mean, he should have feelings for Patrick! They're together 24/7, always holding hands and laughing and spending the night together! Even him having feelings for Sandy makes more sense!

What do I do about this? Just ignore it? Pretend I don't know? I think that would be best...

Who cares, anyway? SpongeBob likes me, big deal! It's not like we'll end up in a relationship. I wouldn't allow it! No siree. I can't even think about it without feeling sick to my stomach!

Squidward held his aching stomach. He was actually glad he had a stomach-ache because then it would prove that he was disgusted.

Besides, its not like he'll confront me. He's never confronted me before... he's never even really hinted at it.

Well... I guess he does act sort of... odd around me.

Squidward gasped.

How did I not notice it before? I've been ignoring his attitude, mistaking everything he does for idiocy! He's always been touching me, trying to spend time with me... he's always eager for my attention, even when I tell him I don't want it...

Squidward's eyes widened and he began biting on the tips of his hands.

He ignores the fact that I don't want to spend time with him because he's in denial! He wants me to want to be with him, so he ignores it when I tell him I don't want to. Oh barnacles... I'm smarter than that, I should have known!

Squidward swallowed and went up to his bedroom. He walked over to his bed and sat on the end of it, remembering when he'd read SpongeBob the story. He shook his head back and forth and grinded his teeth.

Oh, how come I didn't see what was right before my eyes? It's so obvious!

Squidward layed down in the bed, looking up at the colorful ceiling as he held his head. He tried to relax but laying down didn't help. He was restless. Sighing, he got up and walked over to the window. He could see through SpongeBob's window from here but all that he could see were shadows. He could tell they were in that very room, though, because of the brightness that came from the television.

Hmm... stupid SpongeBob. Why does that idiot have to like me like that? It was bad enough when I thought he liked me as a friend! I just shouldn't think about it! Knowing that he likes me isn't going to change anything! He'll still act the same way and I'll act the same way... nothing's going to change. And that's good, very good. I just have to pretend all of this never happened! It'll be easy!

Squidward groaned and ran his hand down his face.

--

Sandy had watched Squidward slowly walk into his house as she stepped up to SpongeBob's. She swallowed and rubbed the back of her neck, then knocked on the door three times. A few minutes later, SpongeBob answered, holding a bottle of soda. Patrick was behind him, laughing and falling over, then burping.

"Hi, Sandy!" SpongeBob exclaimed.

"Hey, SpongeBob... um, I was just wonderin'--" Sandy began.

"Aaaahahahahaa!! SpongeBoe! SpingeBarb! Ahahahaa!! C'mere!" Patrick babbled, trying to get up off the floor.

SpongeBob chuckled.

"Patrick's already gone..." SpongeBob said to Sandy, shaking his head back and forth. Sandy chuckled, nervously.

"What were you saying?" SpongeBob asked.

"Oh! Right... um... I was just wondering if you'd like to go on a picnic or somethin'..." Sandy said, shyly. SpongeBob's eyes brightened.

"Yes!" he exclaimed, immediately. He loved picnics, and was so happy that Sandy wanted to have a picnic with him even after all that had happened.

"Great! How about... once you get outta work?" Sandy asked. SpongeBob put his hand to his chin, thinking.

"Sure thing! I'll be ready!" SpongeBob said, smiling. Sandy smiled, happy for the first time that day.

"Good! I'll be ready, too! I've got some supplies of my own I wanna take! So... see you then!" Sandy said, before walking backwards. SpongeBob smiled and shut the door, then walked back over to Patrick.

"Hey, Patrick! Me and Sandy are going to have a picnic once I get outta work. So we're going to have to play Eels and Escalators after that, okay?" SpongeBob asked, sitting down beside Patrick and crawling into his own sleeping bag. He took the bowl of icecream from the floor and set it in his lap, taking a big spoonful into his mouth.

"A... picnic? What's... that's when you... uuh... eat together on a blanket?" Patrick asked, drool leaking from his mouth and onto his sleeping bag.

"Yeah, that's it. Our relationship is back to normal," SpongeBob said.

" I thought... only girlfriends did that..." Patrick said. SpongeBob raised a brow.

"Well... no, Patrick, not only girlfriends and boyfriends have a picnic. Friends can, too," SpongeBob informed, wondering why Patrick thought such a thing. Patrick shrugged, then took the icecream out of SpongeBob's hands and gulped it down without a spoon. SpongeBob laughed.

Outside in the dark, Sandy was looking in through the pineapple's left window.

After this picnic, I'm sure SpongeBob will fall for me. I'll dress up, act as nicely as I can... SpongeBob will fall in love with me. There's no doubt about that...

At least I hope...

Sandy sighed, then began heading home, failing to notice that Squidward was peeking through SpongeBob's right window.

Once Sandy was out of sight, Squidward let himself breathe. He didn't even know that Sandy was still here, he thought she had headed home long before.

Does Sandy really like SpongeBob? Why would she? Is she interested in the crazy/maniac type? She's quite the maniac, herself... I shouldn't be surprised. They're perfect for eachother... too bad SpongeBob likes me. Huh, huh... sucker. She thinks she's got a chance with him, still? What is she, stupid? Huh, huh...

Squidward noticed he was smiling and he quickly covered it up with a frown. It was almost as if he was glad SpongeBob liked him instead of Sandy.

I don't know what I was thinking. I'm just going insane, is all... Living next to SpongeBob has finally gotten to me! Yes! I'm going insane because of that LOSER! He's made me so insane that I'm spying on him in the middle of the night!

Squidward scoffed and then turned away from the window, heading to his own house.

What am I supposed to do the next time I see him? What if I freak out?

No, I won't freak out. I just... have to remain calm. I'll just act normal, act as if I don't know. I could forget, couldn't I? I just have to put my mind on other things when SpongeBob's around!

Squidward went into his bed room and layed down on his bed. He shut his eyes and tried to fall asleep. It was a hard thing to do, he couldn't stop thinking and worrying about the next day.

"Oh, this is not good..." Squidward said, eyes wide open. He didn't think he was going to have a good night's sleep at all.

Say good-bye to your beauty, Squidward... he thought.

Squidward may seem a bit nicer than usual but it's only because he's going insane and he's confused. Emotions destroy him. Like, when he's nervous he doesn't yell, he tries to pretend that nothing's bothering him by acting nice (I don't know how he thinks people will think he's normal when being NICE).