(Edward's POV on the Spanking)
I let my hands drag through my hair because I felt like pulling all of it out. I was so frustrated at the moment, and I really wanted to paddle Bella's butt good. When will she get the hint that playing with her safety is not an options? The sound of the slamming door reverberates through my body as I felt my resolve solidify regarding giving my beautiful girl a spanking.
I began to climb the stairs up to my baby's bedroom at a human rate of progression. I really didn't look forward to what was coming, but the last two little childish rants showed me it was necessary. It was almost like my teenage, childlike girlfriend was screaming to find boundaries. I am going to help you, Bella, find those boundaries while I keep you safe.
I couldn't help wishing that I could read her thoughts so I could get some indication just what she was thinking concerning getting this spanking. She has to accept this discipline intellectually if it will be effective, otherwise, I am just beating her. Beating her is not my intent at all but she has to be given a consequence for her behavior that will succeed in making her think before she acts. My words alone are not doing that.
I couldn't help but smile as I put my pale hand on the bedroom door. She really was adorable when that feisty little kitten side came out. After opening the door, I saw her standing in the center of the room with her back to me. The vision of her long dark hair embracing her body was breath taking. I really just wanted to forget everything and run my fingers through that lovely chocolaty covering.
"Bella, I told you to face the corner," I say, trying to no avail to get inside my girl's head.
"I know but I was thinking about how I got here."
"And," I expectantly encourage her to go on. I am almost praying she will let me see inside her brilliantly, gorgeous mind so I can begin to understand just how she is viewing this whole incident.
"And I wish this mess hadn't started at all," she confesses not allowing herself to look up. I can almost see her emotionally punishing herself.
I need her to look at me. She acts as if this were a major crime and there is no way to make it better. It is my fault she won't look at me because she probably thinks I am going to leave her. That one mistake I made in trying to give her her life is keeping her from trusting me. I have to make sure she understands that as much as I refuse to allow her to knowingly harm herself, I will never leave her again. I love her too much. I gently nudge her little chin up so she will look at me. Smiling because my stubborn child insists on not cooperating by keeping her eyes closed.
"Isabella," I say in a soft tone, "look at me right now. We both are wishing this hadn't happened but what is done is done."
Her tiny gasp seems to be cry for help really. Baby, I am not going anywhere, and I am not going to let you hurt yourself anymore.
"Edward," that whiny voice says, "I know what I did was wrong and that trying to hide it was even worse. I just didn't want to fight with you and nothing happened, well I got a ticket and that is punishment in itself. So see I am being punished and I swear to all that is holy that I won't ever do anything like this again, ever. Honestly I didn't mean to lie I was..." Her dry sobs remind me again just how fragile my angel is, but don't worry little swan.
I pull her into a hug and begin to gently trail my hand over her head. I so wish that simply holding her would make things all better, but her growing attempts at blatant disregard for obvious methods of protection are screaming for action.
"Bella, shhh," I say, "I know you are sorry for what you did. You always are afterwards, but that doesn't seem to stop you from doing it again."
The indignant cub growls, "Well we humans do tend to make mistakes."
"Don't," I sternly respond. "Listen to me right now, ok?"
As her forehead rests against my chest, I feel her nod. Her subconscious denial is evident in her avoidance of looking at me.
"Downstairs I was calming myself down and I realized something. Bella you have been the adult in your life even when you were a kid. You have always been that voice of reason but you were never given the chance to test your boundaries to find out what that reason really was," I explain.
"Huh," she murmurs. "What does that have to do with anything?"
I can't help but laugh while I continue to explain, "Little kids test boundaries and find out what is safe and what is not safe. I know I am from a different time than you but whether getting a spanking and or sent to time out, the result is the same. You learn what is ok. You were the one making those decisions early on without the benefit of adult interjection because Renee didn't do that."
"So now you are telling me I am incapable of taking care of myself," she growls.
"No, you are really very good at most of the time, but no one showed you how to handle the impulsive instances. Bella do you even understand why I am upset with you?" I interject. My Bella is stellar in taking care of herself considering how she grew up.
"I think so," she pauses. "I went speeding in your car and didn't wear my seatbelt. If there had been a crash I could have really gotten hurt. I know all that, and yes, I should've kept that in mind."
"You should, but I am really upset because I have reminded you about that often. You seem to ignore me. I am not your father nor do I want to be, but I do feel very protective of you and I don't want to consider a world without you in it. Especially when you could have avoided the trouble by listening and taking simple precautions to be safe like fastening your belt." I look directly in her eyes since she lifted her face from my shoulder. I mentally will her to keep eye contact, and the scrunched up face, adorable as it is, begins to indicate she might just be starting to understand why I am going to do this
I run my hands through my hair and wish there was an easier way to teach this lesson to my little bird. It would be so much better if this discipline had been shown to her in childhood, but it wasn't. My little munchkin was the voice of reason and as good as she was at it, no five or six year old is able to make some of those choices.
"Edward I really don't need a spanking. I get it that I was wrong and I have to be more careful. I promise, I swear I will always take the steps I can to be safe when I can do that. So see you really don't need to spank me," she pleads. "Edward, I am truly sorry for everything-the speeding, not wearing my seatbelt and trying to hide it all. I know I am just stupid."
"Hey, you are not stupid and I never want to hear you say that about yourself again, ok?" I gently but sternly state. I just can't let her tear herself apart like this.
I pull her close to me so maybe she can feel my love. I have to stay strong and do what must be done.
"Bella, you need that spanking now more than you might realize. You need to know that I am not going to ever let you go no matter what you do. That I will always carry through on what I say. I did say if you did something unsafe again I would spank you and I am going to."
She shakes her head no.
"Love, you know once this is over the proverbial slate is clean, all is forgiven, and we can go on. The next time that teenage impulse to ignore good judgement comes, you will have a strong memory about why you must not do that," I say.
I catch a glimmer of hope in her chocolaty orbs, and I become persuaded that I have to carry through on what I have said. She has to feel forgiven.
"Baby girl what are thinking?" he prods.
"Nothing really," she whispers while hiding her head in the crook of my neck. There is no way I am going to allow her hide from this. Quiet Bella is not going to make an appearance now.
"No, you don't," I command gently. "Talk to me. You already have two spanking to take care of. Let's not make it three. Just talk to me, ok?"
The fear is evident in her face as her eyes seem ready to pop. I want to chuckle at the comical expression but I don't. A little fear is healthy here and will help make sure we do have to do this again. At least not often anyway, my Bella is too stubborn to think that she will never be spanked for naughty behavior again.
"Edward, I am really mixed up right now? Look I know I did something wrong, well many things wrong. Believe me I feel bad and I will never forgive myself. I suddenly feel like I am in a maze and all the outlets are a dead end," she says with the last being spoken with a louder, higher pitch. I have to calm my little girl, I can tell she thinks I want to do this.
"Bella, I am not out to hurt you. I don't like the idea of causing you pain," I say.
"Then don't," she interrupts. "I said sorry and I can punish myself just fine."
Seeing the futility of this thought process I laugh some and say, "Honey, I am not looking for you to pay penitence here. I want to teach you and make sure you have the reason necessary to not repeat it. Bella why don't you just say what it is you are thinking."
"Oh god, I am thinking so much," she mumbles. "OK, here goes nothing. I am afraid. I know what I did was wrong, all of it was wrong, but I don't see how this, this spanking thing is going to help. I have never been spanked ever in my life."
"Then it is time," I say. I can smell the adrenaline that indicates the fear and frustration that I see in her face. Baby, I am going to make this better. "Bella, I am watching you beat yourself up emotionally over what you did. Wouldn't you rather just have one way to pay for what you did and have it done. Then just go on."
"You mean like paying the fine," she asks.
"Actually, yes like paying the fine. Just like the fact that you will pay the fine then the authorities won't bother you about your tickets as along as you don't get more," I explain, "the spanking will work the same way. You have done something we both agree is wrong and now you will pay for it by getting spanked. Once that is over, that is it. I won't bring it up again."
"If I slip up again," she hedges.
"Then, little girl," I smiles while lifting her face, "I will spanking again. Just like the authorities would ticket and fine you again if they catch you speeding. The spanking would be worse just like the fine would be higher to allow you to be punished more and give you a bigger reminder not to do it again."
"Oh," she announces, "but why am I am up for two spankings."
I smile knowing I don't have to be a total nazi to get my point across but I explain, "Because there are two really big things you did today that both deserve a spanking. You and I both know you know better than to try to hide and lie about this. That should go without saying."
Her attempt to intimidate me with a mean, pouty scowl only serves to prove how necessary this entire little scene is. She really needs to have a steady, firm boundary to catch her, but she is really cute doing that. I mask my expression as I know even more that I must go through with this.
"I don't want a spanking though," she softly cries, "because it is going to hurt."
"If you wanted it then it wouldn't do much to punish you or remind you not to be unsafe again now would it," I say.
"I guess" she surrenders, "but I am definitely terrified of getting two spankings."
"Tell you what I will do, I will just give you one for everything," I concede while knowing I will still make my point, "but if you ever lie to me in the future know that what you get today will seem like child's play compared to what I will give you then."
Her solemn nod tells me she has agreed.
"OK little one, let's get this over with," I say as I lead her to her bed.
I sits down and look into her eyes. I engulf her hands in mine while getting ready to officially explain how this was going to work. I have to be careful, complete and loving as I am setting the precedent for the future when this happens again.
"Isabella, I really don't want to do this. I am not looking forward to spanking you and causing you pain." I see her ready to interrupt, but I quickly shush her by tenderly placing my cool index finger agains her rosy lips. "You have left me no alternative though. I will not tolerate you knowingly ignoring ways to stays safe, and I absolutely won't allow you to lie to me in any form. No relationship can stand deception. Just know that I will never hesitate to spank you as a human or a vampire if you ever do something unsafe or lie to me. Is that completely clear?"
I see the tears ready to fall, and my hearts breaks. In a way this is hurting me every bit as much as it does her, but I love her too much not to do this.
"This next part I know is going to be hard for you, but it has to be done. I am going to pull your jeans and panties down," I say. Just as I suspected, she struggles to move away from me. Not this time my sweet, I am going to finish what you have started.
"Stop, Isabella," I demand. "I have to do this for two reason. First, the humiliation factor makes it more certain you will be less likely to repeat this behavior. Second, I need to see how your flesh reacts to this. I am not going to damage you in anyway, and seeing your flesh change color ensures that I don't bruise you. This is going to hurt but I am not taking any chances that it goes too far."
Seeing her mind begin to contemplate what I said, I quickly act to slide her jeans and panties down in one fluid motion. I take no pleasure in making my mate naked for the purposes of punishing her. I refuse to allow myself to feel any arousal at all as I pull her over my lap and effectively hide her frontal nudity. I also take a few moments to settle my love upon my knee trying to both make her ivory bottom easily accessible to my hand and make sure she isn't completely uncomfortable laying here. I want the focus on her butt and the sting I plan to put there.
"Bella, my love are you comfortable," I say.
Her wicked look back reminds me of that old adage, 'if looks could kill.'
Smiling I say, "There is no need to add to you discomfort."
"Remind me to thank you when I am not in the process of having my bottom blistered," she snarls.
I take a deep breath willing myself not to encourage her cute but bratty behavior. "Isabella you aren't in a good position to be rude, you know," I remind her punctuating my remark with a light tap to her behind.
"Now, Isabella why don't you tell me why you are in this position?" I inquire.
Her glare indicates the potential for another little tantrum, but thankfully she reconsiders while seemly asking for a reason why she must talk.
I explain, "This is all apart of getting a spanking. Sometimes children really didn't get why they were going to be punished, but most of the time they did. Making someone say why is just another way to add to the embarrassment which will make it more likely that this little show won't have to be repeated."
"OK whatever," she says, "I am here because I got caught speeding and not wearing my seatbelt which are two very unsafe things I can control doing. Is that good enough?"
"Isabella Marie," I yell while swatting her rump swiftly, "you are going to end up getting two spankings if you don't knock that little attitude of yours off. Yes that does sum up part of the reason, but I need you to tell me the rest."
I can tell Bella is confused with this all being so new to her combined with her being a little frighten. She needs a little clue, so I again lightly slap her butt and whisper, "The lying."
As if the light turns on she yipes, "I purposely hid what I did too."
"Good girl," I reward her for her cooperation. "You know how I feel about all the things you have done. I don't ever want to have to do this again Isabella Marie Swan, but I am now going to give you the spanking you seem to be inadvertently begging for."
I decide not to prolong things and quickly begin to slap her bare butt one cheek at a time. Her pale skin immediately registers my assault by glowing with a blush from where I have struck, so I swat her lightly, making sure to only hit a given area once. I cringe as I hear her moan and feel her try twist away. My heart is breaking knowing that I am causing this pain to her. I almost decide to stop, but then, my mind shows me the possibility of loosing her permanently in death because there was no seatbelt on to stop her body from going through the windshield. I just can't let that happen so I smack a few times along her sweet spot where her thighs meet her bottom.
"Aughhh," she moans indicating she can feel this.
"Ow, Edward please," she pants which I ignore. She needs this, I can't loose her. "Stop I get it. This hurts." I act like I am deaf but every word she utters is a stab in my heart. If this will keep her safe though it is worth it. I can never loose my angel.
"Oh god I am sorry," she pleads. Yes, my baby girl I know you are, and I am going make sure you remember.
"Bella I know you are sorry, but words don't seem to change your behavior," I reply.
"Aughhh, Owww," she says.
"Oh, owwwwieee, pleasssssssse," she pleas, "I swear I will be the best girl ever. Just stop."
I see the tears which tell me I am getting through.
"Bella, breath, we are almost done," I say.
"Edward I am sorry," she says. "I never meant to hurt you. I love you and I won't ever do this again." I see and feel her body echo the surrender of her words.
"Little girl, I am so proud of you," I murmur. I begins to sooth the hurt in her bottom with gentle, soft caresses of my hands. I know their cool nature will make her burning, stinging behind feel a little better.
"Love, it is over," I say as I carefully turn her around to place her on my lap. I hear her hiss when her bottom reaches my jean clad leg. I tenderly massage her back to let her know I am here.
"You are forgiven, my little swan," I croon, "and I love you so much. I want you to understand that if something like this ever happens again, I will spank you again and it will be worse."
As I make eye contact, I see her shiver indicating a little healthy fear is present that will make her try harder to avoid this.
"Oh, Edward, I swear I will never ever, ever, ever do anything to make you spank me again," she sobs. "I don't ever want this to happen again. I promise to be the best girl I can."
I smile continuing to rub her back and encourage her. "Shhh," I moan, "ever is a long time and all memories, whether vampire or human, leave some with its passing. I don't want to do this again myself, but chances are it will happen again. Just know I will love you no matter what you do, and I will never leave you. You can also count on the fact that if you need a spanking, I will give you one."
Her tired face bestows a small smile that tells me we are all right and she has learned her lesson, for now at least.
****************************************Author's Note***************************************
I decided Edward's view might help those here who are not familiar with the idea of domestic discipline. He loves Bella so much he is willing to cause her a little pain to prevent her from hurting herself or their relationship. Just know he would never cause lasting damage other than a momentary difficulty sitting. No bruising or anything. Review to tell me how I am doing. FYI too this was really challenging to write for me so I hope you liked it, and I plan to keep going for while because there is a lot for Bella to learn.