Title: The Four Times, and That One Time

Pairing: Castle/Beckett

Rating: K+, I think.

Summary: The four times Kate left Castle when she needed to, and the one night she stayed anyway.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All I have is my blog and a Sherlock DVD.

No way in hell am I leaving that fight un-freaking-resolved. So, here's an extra chapter without any of the leaving thing. I'll add the real update in a bit. This'll be really short and quick. Still the same length as the others, but I really need to get it out of the way.

3.(5)

To say she hated herself was an understatement. She was never one to worry about her self-esteem, so to say that she truly, truly hated herself was unusual; mostly because she didn't have time to hate herself as much as she did now.

She tried to stay out of his way when he was at the precinct today. After standing around a dead body and discussing the damages, they went to the 12th to start their investigation. None of the boys or her best friend even bothered to ask where Castle was; the state of her eyes spoke for her.

So it was much to her surprise when Castle showed up at the 12th with the two cups of coffee in his hands, one for himself and the other for her. He didn't say a word: just placed the cup on his table, and went to where Javi and Kevin were.

He went home earlier than the others, probably figuring out that the main reason why he was even around sort of hated him. Kate so disliked that he probably thought that. Hence, she genuinely couldn't find anybody who hated her more than herself at the moment.

She placed her keys slowly onto the coffee table, panning the room for any sign of him. She didn't even know why she was here; she felt stupid. She was the one who had said she couldn't be in a relationship with somebody she couldn't trust… and yet here she stood, and here she searched for him. She's beyond pathetic. But that was the last thing on her mind. She needed to find him, to apologise.

"Castle?" Kate called warily.

The silence that greeted her was discomforting…until the sound of his footsteps fled from the stairs, and his all-too familiar self came into view. Kate wanted to smile at him, tell him how happy she was to see him, but her pride got in the way. Stupid pride. Always the pride.

"Beckett, what do you want?" he said, descending the steps.

Kate breathed out heavily as the memory of their first night together rushed through her thoughts. He had said the exact same words.

"Would you still believe me if I said 'you'?" she said shyly through her eyelashes, head still hung in humiliation.

Castle halted in front of her, close enough for Kate to feel the heat coming off him. "Honestly? No."

Beckett swung her head up quickly, looking him in the eye. They were incredibly blue tonight. The only times they're that blue are when he's really happy, or entirely too livid for anybody's good.

"Rick, I'm sorry—"

"Sorry?" he said through tight lips. "Kate, do you understand the hell you put me through knowing that you hated me? Any idea at all?"

"Castle, I could never hate you," she said quietly, feeling the tears pool at her eyes. "How could you even say that? After all we've been through, I could never hate you."

Castle swallowed audibly. "You convinced me that you did last night."

Kate looked up, and took his collar into her hand, gently tugging it downwards but not enough to draw him closer to her.

"I was wrong, Castle," she said, letting the tears slip. "I'm a terrible person for saying that I couldn't be in a relationship with you when you're the only one. You'll always be the only one. Always.

"It literally makes me physically sick to think that I've hurt you so much again. I can't live with that pain, Rick. I just…" she paused, angrily wiping the wetness out of her eyes. "I love you too much now to walk away. I can't just leave. You're everything, Castle. I'm sorry about Josh, and everything that's got to with my stupid mistake. What I did was wrong, and I knew it was, and that makes me an even worse person. I didn't know why I even thought it would a good idea to 'catch up with him'. I was stupid, naïve, and reckless.

"I love you, Rick, and—"

He interrupted her with an urgent kiss, his hands looping around his waist and holding her against him.

"Shhhh, Kate," he said, laying her head on his shoulder. He rested his cheek at the top of her head, feeling the warmth of her breath through his shirt. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I just—I just—" Kate sobbed, stuttering to get the words out. "I know that Josh isn't worth it. When people fight, they—they fix it. They don't th—throw it away. I'm so stupid, Castle."

"No, you're not," he said against her hair. "I should have trusted you. I shouldn't have been such a jerk, Kate. I should have trusted you. I should have trusted you."

They stood there for ages, just holding each other. It wasn't long before Castle let out a tired chuckle, arms tightening around her for one final time, holding her at arms length afterwards.

"You do know what this means, right?" he said, taking her hand and leading her to their room.

"What?"

"Make-up sex."

Kate rolled her eyes and closed the door behind them both.

The real chapter should be up in a bit. Reviews, please! :-( Very much welcome here, reviews. Cheers again!