In the highlight of spring, crickets chirped, and the birds sang their songs, while blades grass danced in the careless wind, crashing against one another like the waves of the ocean. The air was cool, but the sun was comfortably warm; signs that the world around buzzed with life, but beneath the large maple that was beginning to show signs of budding, the large silver haired demon sat still as a statue. His eyes remained closed as he listened intently to the life just beneath the familiar hill, letting his imagination flow alongside his sharp sense of smell, avoiding the scents of humans covered in dirt and sweat from working on their crops, taking a mental turn away from the scents of the injured where blood, medicinal herbs and bandages wafted the cramped enclosed hut, and to the familiar, yet dirty mixed scent of his half-wit brother. He held back the urge to grit his teeth, but just as he smelled his brother, and his mate, he felt his senses washed in the scent of peach blossom, and he knew right away that it was Rin, and as he cued in to that scent, his hearing followed the same path and slowly he started to relax, but never letting down his guard as one hand clutched at his Bakusaiga with the arm that he lost in the battle with his brother. It was surprising how fate changed between the two brothers. Sesshomaru wouldn't kill his brother, but he still didn't appreciate his existence, nor enjoy his irritating company. But he also knew with how close Rin grew to the group, even Inuyasha himself despite how irritating his behavior was; he wouldn't hurt her, or the things she cared about, no matter how annoying any of them were.
Jaken would be the first to die, he would never admit this to anyone, but he was more annoying than his brother, being the disgrace to their father as he was. Jaken found many ways to irritate him, squawking about different things time to time, but he never paid any mind to him, nor was he about to. If it weren't for his fear of him, and the need that came with that fear to serve under him; he knew that Jaken wouldn't stay. However, Inuyasha was a close second, he had no respect for anyone, nor did he choose to gain the knowledge to abide by demon law. He was a half breed, and he ran arrogantly beating the sword that should have been meant for Sesshomaru around like an axe, it made his skin crawl every time he heard the crafted metal scream in agony of its master's poor swordsmanship. In some ways it bothered him that his brother had been the first to settle down and breed more half-bred children. He was from high class, and to see his brother nearly populate the planet with more god-forbidden manner less children it infuriated him. As he had once been bound by a tree, Sesshomaru was also in that same situation. Bound by pathetic emotion all for a human, he was meant to kill not to care, not to have friends. He was a man that used to be able to travel long distances without anything dwelling on his mind, now every time he was away he couldn't get Rin out of it. If she were warm, if she enjoyed the quality and quantity of silk and kimonos he sent her, and if she was doing well. The winter months were always the hardest for him, it was his favorite season and he had no one other than Jaken to enjoy the winter escape, and half the time he seemed to stumble every few feet, complaining that it was cold, or what they were searching for.
In reality, Sesshomaru wasn't searching for anything, trying to find ways to waste time, and even more trying to get the silly ningen out of his mind, but all of his efforts were in vain; fruitless because he never received what he was searching, only finding more reasons to think about her, and questions he couldn't answer himself. He wasn't sure why, whenever he was around her the only affects she had on him were that he was always trying to feign a smile when he didn't want to, she made him feel calm oddly enough despite how easily she was able to hurt herself in a matter of seconds. But knowing that she would easily offer herself as a sacrificial lamb to save another, it always bothered him if she was safe, he trusted Inuyasha enough to take care of her, but he didn't trust life to keep her alive, not after losing her the second time.
However, there was one emotion that he couldn't explain. The feeling of his heart in the back of his throat, feeling as if he was being choked to death on the inside. He never understood that feeling, and the ignorance irritated him. He never talked to anyone about it, the more time he was away from her the more it drove him insane. She was the only reprieve from his thoughts, which was rather contradicting considering she was the cause for most of them, he didn't understand himself, why he thought and felt this way, without any explanations to fix any of it. He was a cold blooded killer, he felt no remorse for his actions but the moment his eyes delve into her almond colored eyes, he felt strangled into being a good person. Always trying to find ways to please her, wanting her approval on everything he gave her, constantly wanting to be around her, and constantly desired for her attention; one of the silliest of his reasons. He didn't know why he felt this way, it wasn't at all what he saw with his half-wit brother and his mate, and they found comfort in silly conflicts and physical attraction. He found comfort in hearing Rin's heartbeat, her pure scent and the silence they often shared. He felt comfortable knowing that she still remained pure, that no one dared put their hands on her, knowing all too well that she belonged to him.
Sesshomaru waited impatiently, he was not known to have such behavior, and it irritated him more for feeling that way, especially over Rin. However, Jaken barking at her it annoyed him grievously. However, it lightened his mood when hearing the hitch in her breathing as she caught sight of him, and her heart began to race. A normal side-effect every time she laid eyes on him, he could nearly taste the excited endorphins that ran through her body, nearly giving him the chills.
His shoulders relaxed out of the tense posture and lazily rested himself against the tree, playing nonchalant as if nothing had changed in his normally stoic behavior, this silly little human would surely be the death of him, such a horrible distraction, and a test of his patience. Sighing, he managed to clear his head for just a matter of a few seconds as Rin took the last few steps to meet him, his golden hues peered at her, waiting for the answer to his unspoken question: yet, she did not answer him, instead tested his patience with silly banter.
Although, he nearly feigned a smile at the sight of the blush that rose onto her flawless cheeks, cascading quickly down her neck, feeling the urge to brush his fingertips across it, marveling at the rich pigment her creamy skin allowed to show. He lowered his gaze from her eyes momentarily, washing over her neck, before meeting her eyes once again, and he continued to stare, hypnotized by the beauty of hers, without realizing too that she was in the same transfixed state.
With his eyes locked onto hers, he stood towering over the small human. In many situations he found himself in this position, but never under these circumstances. It was astounding for even himself to believe that he indirectly loved a human, a girl he feared most to lose. For once in his many years of life, he was slowly allowing the beast inside take havoc in its desires, his pride slowly slipping away.
However, he wasn't ultimately sure on how he felt, at least not in the correct terminology. He had a hard time expressing how he felt because emotion in itself was so strange to him, and for human especially human females it was much noticeable, with quite a range of emotion. Though, as much as he allowed himself to be close to her, the suggestion of claiming her for a mate was out of the question. He needed to pass on full blooded heirs to take his place, and if he were to get anymore attached to the girl he would surely lose himself once she passed.
Sesshomaru was not a callous lover, he was not spontaneously charming in any means. Instead, he was born as a leader, and he took his rightful place. He envied his brother for living a life so carelessly, while his destiny and future had been planned long before his birth, and now he was the demon lord of the western lands. Feared by all, and only loved by one. The question inside him dwelled within the back of his mind, always eating him alive to the point where he wasn't sure if power was worth losing Rin, even if they were to maintain just a friendship.
The thought of her procreating with another human disgusted him, and often he found himself jealous of the other men in the village, being able to spend time with her without being chastised for it, the fact that they could sway a light laugh or even a smile from her when all his energy was wasted on finding distractions away from her. He didn't understand why he chose to love a human, protect her as if she was his land, and despite the harsh criticism he received from other demons as he passed, he still went out of his way to shower her with what he could not show.
After her second death it phased him how much he couldn't handle loosing, nearly destroying him the instant he realized that she no longer breathed air. For once in his life he couldn't find an injury no matter how painful or annoying to compare the pain he felt and the anger towards himself for losing her, and knowing that it could have been prevented if he had just for once put her first. He swore that his father played tricks on his mind; he couldn't understand why he and his brother suffered the same fate, following in his father's traumatic footsteps. He fell into the flames of love, only to be burned by hatred and greed of his enemies. In his sorrow, they were both lost.
Reaching up he patted Rin's head gently before turning away, giving a sign that he was happy she came with him, but also keeping a safe distance. Once he tasted desire, he was sure to delve into the whole pot. "We'll be leaving before nightfall, by that time Jaken should have most of your belongings placed upon A-un. That is, if you chose to stay." He asked, parts of him wanting to decline him, so that he could move on with what his future left up to him, and so that she could live a happy life in the village with some lesser than average farmer, living some lesser than average human life slaying demons and raising children. But all of him wished that she could bare living a lavish lifestyle with no sign of romance, at least not with him…