Day 53

Will was resting on the grass of his newest favorite meadow. For the past week, each day he had come to this grassy knoll at the edge of the boundary and stretched his legs sitting and staring at the invisible barrier that kept him in. His feet were aimed towards it and he could feel the tingly sensation telling him what was so close. He liked being that close, having the constant reminder as well as the uncanny pull to move a little closer to it.

Death.

The invisible into the nothing. Will wondered what it would feel like. If he would feel anything at all other than the pleasant bliss of unknown. His legs were crossed at his ankles, a hand pressed between his thighs the other holding his body up, heel pressed into the moist soil from the rain. Nothingness. Was it really something that he wanted? He had never truly contemplated ending it all like he had this past week. Yet there was something that always tugged him back, something that only kept the edges of his feet in the field and kept him from taking a step further.

It wasn't that any one thing had changed. In fact, if anything had changed it was for the better. Helen was spending far more time with him than working at getting them out of the time-dome—which was a blessing and a curse—she'd been highly affectionate with him and he'd taught some of the men how to make moonshine and play a good game of poker. By all means everything was going splendidly. He drew in a deep breath of air and tipped his toe out further so that the sensation became far more prominent and spread up to his ankles.

He didn't hear her arrive. She shimmied next to him and sat so their bodies were lined up but not touching. Silence overcame them and she quietly observed the invisible gateway that he was obviously so keen on staring at. It took minutes before she spoke and even then, she kept her voice soft and quiet. "So what's keeping you from doing it?"

"You."

The blunt honestly surprised her, it wasn't often that they shared without the strictures of politeness and reservation. Helen licked her lips and risked a glance toward him. "And if I was out of the equation?"

"The balance would be in my favor." Leaning forward he curled his legs under him and picked at a blade of grass running it through his fingers. "I won't do it."

She paused, waiting to see if he would go on and watching the idle movements that he was making. "Then why are we here, Will?"

"To think."

"About?" She moved a hand to cover his that were constantly twisting.

"Did you know you can whistle with grass?" He dared a glance at her before his eyes dropped back to the blade that was now pressed between his thumbs. "My dad taught me before my mom died, when he had time for me." He brought his fingers to his lips and filled his lungs with air. Pressing his lips into a circle and breathing out he let the thin grass vibrate between his thumbs and create a high screeching noise.

Helen propped her chin on his shoulder when he stopped and smirked. "That's not a whistle."

Shrugging he turned to her finally. "Why are we here, Helen?"

"I don't know, William." Her fingers found his and squeezed. "Do you want to go back? You could use a haircut." She felt him smile at that and kissed his cheek.

"Maybe in a bit. We need to talk." He turned to her then and started to pull on her arm until she was situated between his legs, resting comfortable against his body.

Helen leaned back into his chest and felt his lips close to her ear. "Talk about what?" If he was being this comfortable with her, it couldn't be anything horribly bad that he wanted to speak with her about.

"What you're not telling me."

Swallowing she made sure to not answer him right away. His hands moved over her arms before resting on his knees that he raised and grasped his fingers lightly in front of her body, effectively cutting off any escape she could possibly have. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Are you sure?" He bit her earlobe lightly and smirked. Her body was tense and her breathing shallow. It took quite a bit to get Helen Magnus riled and defensive, but he managed to do it quickly. "I'm fairly certain you know exactly what I'm referring to."

"None sense." He was kissing her neck and she tilted her head back to allow him easier access, but not full access. "There's nothing I need to tell you."

"Sure about that?"

"Will, stop playing games."

He hummed and shifted his hands to circle her stomach and he felt her chest rise and hold in place, her back stiffening, her shoulders widening and her toes moving. He noted each change as his fingers fiddled with the cloth covering her abdomen. "You're pregnant."

She didn't answer. She had no answer. Waiting, she carefully bided her time as he pressed his nose into her neck and paused for her, patiently. Eventually she spoke, her voice was soft and defeated, her hands coming to rest on top of his. "How did you know?"

"Signs and symptoms. Bit of math in there too." He lifted a hand to turn her chin towards him so that he could kiss her fully on the lips. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What would it matter? It wasn't supposed to be like this."

Rotating her face away from him she stayed put as she was seated, but gave off an air of not wanting to be touched. Will wisely took the hint and moved his hand back to her slowly growing stomach. "What was it supposed to be like?"

"For starters, I was supposed to have options about what to do."

"And what would you have chosen?"

It seemed to every quick statement she gave he slowed her down with a question that made her ponder. "I don't know, Will. But here… here I have no option." She let out a breath that she hadn't known she was holding and he tightened his arms around her. Silence took over them once again and it wasn't until she felt Will awkwardly adjust his body that she realized the position they were sitting in was probably not the most comfortable for him. She moved to extricate herself and standing; helping him to follow her lead, she pressed her face into his shoulder as soon as he was fully upright. "Thank you, Will."

"For?"

"For not asking who the father is."

Sliding away slowly, he cupped her cheek after brushing a strand of hair from her face. "The baby is yours, Helen. That's all that matters to me." He waited for her acknowledgment before continuing. "Unless the daddy is violent and uncontrollable because then we might need to think about some other things." He smirked, but the warning was in place.

"I assure you, Will, John is not the father of this child."

"Good, that's all I needed." He leaned in and kissed her loudly on the lips before starting back toward the village. They made it to the end of the field before he spoke again. "So how far along are you?"

Helen breathed in deep, her arm tight around him and their hips brushing with each step. "Nineteen weeks." His hand floated above her stomach once more but he stopped himself. When she looked at him the question was in his eyes. "Go ahead." His fingers touched the soft mound and he grinned, the curved feeling of her stomach. "You should be able to feel the baby move soon. Or at least I should."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He was glowing and she couldn't help but smile back at him. "Have you ever thought about having children?"

"Can't say I've really given it that much thought. It'd be nice, but the opportunity was never really there." There was a dark shadow that crossed his features and she caught it before looking back at where they were headed.

Helen pursed her lips debating whether or not to ask. Finally she gave in to her curiosity. "What is it?"

"There was this one time. With Meg. False alarm, but it did make me think about what kind of father I would be and what kind I wanted to be." He took a deep breath and squeezed her arm where he held on lightly. "It put a lot of things in perspective. It was also what definitely pulled us apart." He pulled her in closer to his body. "I don't expect anything concerning your baby. You know that right?"

"Yeah." She whispered the word quietly. "Neither did I until recently. I never thought I would have another child." He didn't probe any further, letting the moment take itself where it wanted to go. He didn't want to pressure or pursue, only let her discuss what she was comfortable with. There was no use getting the great Helen Magnus angry with him because he pressed too hard for information.

They made it back to their flat in relative silence, the city that they resided in a blur in her mind as she was focused elsewhere. Helen was pulling of her sweater when she noticed that Will wasn't taking his eyes off her. She questioned his stare. "What is it?"

"Nothing." He shook his head and moved to sit at the table that was still scattered with their work. Helen narrowed her eyes and moved to stand in front of him, her knees wheedling their way between his and her hands coming to rest on his shoulders. "Really it's nothing." He restated without being asked.

"I believe you." She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Will?" Waiting until she had his undivided attention she spoke again. "Those thoughts you were having earlier? Will you be having any more?"

"It's not like I was going to do anything." She raised a brow at him. "No, not for a while, I'm sure."

"Good. Because I would find it a terrible loss if you were no longer around."

"You just want me to cook."

Her eyes crinkled at the corners and he smirked. "Perhaps." Bending lower she slid her lips along his and moved into a deep embrace. She whimpered lightly, finally pulling away to rest her forehead against his.