Lol I tried to make this fluffy.
But err, I'm incapable of fluff.
So instead I got super angst.
I don't know how it happened, but this drabble evolved into a full-fledged Chapter.
Most of the other ones will be much much shorter, with only the final Edward/Bella one being this long.
Secret number #6
.003
Seth Clearwater's shirt is far, far too big for him. It hangs off of him like a wizard's robes. The kid's wearing glasses too, and a smile goofy enough to be found on Saturday Night Live. All that's missing is the scar and the English accent. As he sits down on the stool he's looking everywhere but the camera, as if the cafeteria tables and bland white-painted brick walls hold magic.
"Hey, Seth." I greet, adjusting the lenses of the camera, and tilting the lamp with my toe.
He blinks and shields his eyes with his hands. "Hey, Edward."
Seth's a textbook freshman. I wouldn't be if he wet his pants the first day of school from excitement and fear. The strange thing is, it's May. The novelty should have long worn off and he should be complaining about finals with all the vehemence of a sophomore. But there's something different about him, too, for all that he's remained the same since September.
But he's still grinning from too-big ear to to too-big ear. "So, how many pictures you going to take?" He tilts his chin and if possible grins wider. "Sixteen?"
"Don't break your face, Seth." I shake my head in cynical bemusement. Kids these days, right? Sometimes I feel more like a senior citizen than a senior in highschool. 107 year old Cullen."I'll be taking one-two if you mess up."
He nods resolutely, as if I've just commanded him to go into a grand battle. "Gotcha, Coach."
It's not until my finger's pressing down and the flash is going off that I realize what's changed about Seth.
He's not afraid anymore.
Flash!
"Who-what?" Seth stutters, leaning back against the lockers.
He's wearing a same too-big shirt, but now his eyes are as over-sized as his clothing and he looks not just like a puppy, but an abandoned one.
"That," illustrates Eric Yorkie with his penchant panache, "is Tanya Denali. I can't believe you don't know her yet, it's what January?"
Tanya Denali is everything a boy wants to fuck. Blond, amazing tits, snooty exterior that hides a volcanic nympho. Also, she's a slut and she knows it. I wouldn't say that she doesn't have a heart, but let's just say that she's broken a few.
At least, that's what I think of her.
But when Seth sees her, as she brushes by him surrounded by her entourage, Rosalie and Lauren, he sees a innocent girl next door. She practically skips as she walks, and he interprets her placid expression as being half-full of hidden mirth.
"Did she notice that I was staring," Seth hisses, having snapped up his jaw from it's gaping position.
Eric snorts. "I don't think she even knows you exist."
"Good." Seth doesn't think he's ready to be noticed. He certainly wasn't ready to notice anyone else until today. Having your father die has a tendency to give you tunnel vision.
Eric rolls his eyes as he pulls out his own, non-magical camera from his locker complete with note-pad filled with interviews. "If you say so."
Seth's t-shirt rides up as she slides down his lockers, sighing. He imagines taking out on his sister, Leah Clearwater's, motorcycle. Yeah, Leah would kill him, but whatever. Tanya's platinum hair would come out in streams behind her. I'm about to roll my eyes at the cliched nature of Seth's fantasy, but then from out of nowhere, there is a huge explosion and he's rescuing Tanya from terrorists, Rambo style.
Seth shakes his head, ending the fantasy. "I'm going to get her."
Kicking his locker shut, Eric raises an eyebrow, "Fuck her?"
"What?" Seth says slightly breathless, "No, I don't know."
So, he watches her for weeks, learns her schedule. Yes, maybe he's failing chemistry, but he's getting an in Tanya Denali, and that seems more important. Even though his father died last year and all he wanted was for his son to go to college like he couldn't . . .
Well, his father would understand. Girl's were important, too, right?
So Seth doesn't think about the fact that ever since his Dad died his sister's been crazy and he doesn't think about how maybe it's not just chemistry he's failing, and he doesn't think about the fact that he comes home late after school and he doesn't think about how the last time he saw his mother she was crying over microwavable dinners because she just couldn't make dinner without thinking about Dad.
All he thinks about is Tanya.
He makes elaborate plans, and dreams elaborate dreams. He'll write a note pretending to be the Principal calling her into the office, but instead of the Principal it will be him. An atom bomb will be dropped on Forks high-clearly the center of the United States Government-and they'll live together in a fall out shelter and make babies to populate the new human race.
Seth has a tendency to divorce himself from the moors of reality when the tide of trouble rises.
So it's ironic, that just as reality's weighing down upon him, his fantasy come into full-bloom.
And he takes flight.
Well, not yet.
First, he stands in line at the security, playing his Nintendo DS, scribbling furiously, trying to unlock the next level on Zelda. Trying to ignore the strange air-port smell, and the announcement that comes on and warns him about bombs and threat levels. Sometimes piloting an imaginary train searching for pieces of the tri-force is all that keeps him insane.
"I swear to god, it's just because we've got darker skin," grouses Leah, arms crossed, leather pants and leather jacket creaking as she shifts her weight back and forward.
Sue Clearwater has different worries. Her laugh-lines have turned to crying lines sometime in the last couple of months, and now they're probably going to miss their flight. Which means it's possible that they won't be able to make it in time to the shore to spread Dad's ashes.
Seth doesn't think about that. He has a princess to rescue. He wonders what Tanya would like dressed up as Zelda. She definitely has the right hair for it. He's so engrossed that he also doesn't notice that Leah has started freaking out about something-again.
"Where is it?" Frantically Leah's hands flit around her neck.
"Calm down," Sue hushes, and from the corner of his eyes Seth swears he can see tears in his mom's eyes.
One more level, and he'll get to defeat Ganondorf. He'll win the princess.
Just three more seconds-
"Seth!" Leah cries, and rips the Ds from his hands, snapping it shut with a finality. "You took dad's necklace. You always liked it."
"Come on," Seth whines. "Seriously, I didn't take your stupid necklace."
Leah's eyes glint dangerously. "It's not stupid."
"It's an arrowhead he bought in Montana; it doesn't even have anything to do with the tribe." He leans back against the roped off area where they're waiting while the TSA does a thorough search of their belongings.
"Fuck off-"
"Language," Sue chides.
Leah stares her mother down coldly, "You can fuck off, too, Mom. I still haven't forgiven what you said, I'm going to look for it."
From behind the rope, comes the low bass of the security officer. "Ms. Leah Clearwater?"
His sister stops, "Yeah?"
The voice gets a face, a burly Hispanic woman, who looks like she takes her job, much, much too seriously. "We have to question you about some items found in your bag."
"Fine," Leah says coolly, but before leaving with the woman turns to Seth, "I swear if the necklace isn't back I'm going to break your DS." She wiggles the silver brick shaped game device menacingly.
Seth thinks that it's ironic that she's bitching about someone taking her stuff, and then she goes and takes his, but doesn't say anything. He doesn't have the money to get another DS, and Leah doesn't have a taste for irony.
"Mom," Seth says, and hates that his voice still cracks. Isn't that supposed to stop in middle school? He's a Freshman now, shouldn't he feel older?
"Yes," replies Sue, and she's never looked more tired in her life. Except maybe the night when Charlie Swan came to her door, face screwed up like he had eaten some of his ex-wife's cooking, and told her that her Husband was dead.
But even that was shock.
Now, there's no more shock, just muddling through the remains. The remains that are probably being processed by gloved TSA hands.
For the first time, Seth sees this on his mother's face.
And for all of being a Freshman, he feels so young and has no idea what to do . But there is one thing he can fix, one treasure he can find.
So he squares his shoulders and says, "I'm going to see if I can find the necklace. Knowing Leah, she probably just dropped it."
"Seth," Sue begins, but Seth can see that she doesn't have the strength to argue. Not about things that really matter, let alone things that don't. "Just don't get lost."
"I won't," Seth promises as he ducks under the ropes and avoids the prying gaze of the security guard. He probably shouldn't be leaving, but whatever. Since when did standing in line solve anything. That's not how adventures start.
Fifteen minutes later, at the King Kwon's Wok, Seth Clearwater's adventure ends. The arrowhead was nowhere to be seen. Not on the table where they had eaten the questionable stir-fry, not on the curb that the taxi had taken them to.
It ends because he finds the princess.
The ice queen Tanya Denali is sitting at the dirty table across from Howard's Subs and Dogs across from King Kwon's subs, melting into tears.
Seth doesn't know how many plans he's made about what he would say when he first met Tanya Denali, but he definitely didn't plan on saying what he does.
"Hey, have you seen an Arrowhead necklace?"
He stands hands in pockets an awkward three feet away from the sobbing girl, and he's almost glad when she doesn't respond. Almost, but not, because of instead of responding he's managed to make the shining star of his life, his super super crush, feel worse.
Great.
"Err, all you right?" he tries again.
The first words that Tanya Denali says to him, are not, "Thank you great hero," but instead a very snotty and bleary eyed,
"No."
"Oh, well that sucks." Bravo, Bravo, Seth thinks. Take a bow, idiot. You're really doing a great job.
Tanyas thin, blonde eyebrow, above a red-rimmed eye raises. "No shit, Sherlock."
Somehow, seeing the Princess actually upset and in distress, feels very different than the scenario he concocted in his head. First off the Princess is not supposed to be wearing sweat-pants, second off the Princess is not supposed to be scarfing down greasy fries as she cries.
Seth blames his confusion and slight disappointment on what comes out next. "What are you even doing here, aren't you supposed to be in school?"
"Jesus, you're a dick," Tanya says, but her tone sounds more admiring than not. "And I'm supposed to be taking a vacation to Cancoon with my friend."
She's still beautiful, even as she calls him names and has a a grease stain on her pink sparkly Gucci top.
Seth has no defenses built up for that, his eyes just widen and his heart-beat increases. It really sinks in. Tanya Denali is talking to him, after all this time. Even worse, she called him a dick.
Tanya interperts his silence as him listening, instead of him being paralyzed by hormones and the realization that his dream crush hates him.
She rolls her eyes, before wiping them on her pink-suede sleeve. Gucci tracksuit. "I can't believe I'm crying."
Seth takes a step backwards. Maybe with more planning, more level-grinding, he will be ready for this boss. But he is so unprepared.
Tanya is oblivious though. It's one of her talents. "Seriously, it's one canceled flight. Just because the vacations over because Rose's dad died doesn't mean-"
Seth swallows once. The words dad and died in the same sentence have unfrozen his muscles.
He remembers his dad whispering tales from the Tribe to help him get to sleep. Stories about spirit wolves. He remembers fishing with him, his dad teaching him about the spawning time of mayflies, and how to cast a line just right so that there wasn't too much slack. One o'clock, two o'clock. Swish and Flick. He remembers saying how it was just like Harry Potter and his dad laughing asking what was Barry Potter anyways.
Most of all he remembers the trip to Yellowstone, and that day in the gift-shop.
They were sweaty from the trip to the dude ranch and smelled like horse-poo. They all seemed to mind, except for Leah. Leah loved the out-doors more than all of them, Seth forgot that about her. Now she spends so much time indoors, with her girlfriend, Emily. Seth liked the out-doors, but more than anything else he liked gift-shops.
He was the one who convinced his dad to pull over to the log-cabin right off the main drag of Big Sky. He was the one who whined until his father's big hand took his little one. He was the reason they bought the cheap, very clearly fake, Indian arrowheads at all.
His father had bought them two, one for him and one for his sister.
He had took them both aside, away from Sue, who didn't have much patience for his antics sometimes. (She called it disrespecting the Quiellete tribe, but their father called it having fun.)
"Now, young ones, with these arrow-heads you are fully fledged members of the Clearwater tribe."
Leah being thirteen crossed her arms. "There is no such thing as a Clearwater tribe."
Their father winked. "If you say so."
Seth, being six, grinned wildly.
Also, being six, he lost his arrowhead in a week.
Leah moaned and groaned, but the first thing she did when Dad died was root out that old necklace and string it around her neck.
Seth knew why she did it now.
She wanted there to feel like there still was a Clearwater tribe, even though one of them was gone.
He hasn't realized it until now, but he wants there to be a Clearwater tribe again, too. There's nothing he wants more, not even the hot girl standing in front of him.
When his gaze refocuses, he realize that Tanya's not crying anymore, but looking at him curiously. "Are you alright."
He grins, "I'm fine, but I gotta go, unless you haven't seen an arrowhead necklace."
Tanya shakes her head, "No, I really haven't." It's strange, it's not just Seth's memory, but she looks almost sheepish. "Thanks for listening."
Seth gives a confused little grin. "I didn't do anything really."
"I know," says Tanya cooly, "it probably would have pissed me off if you had. That's not what I'm really upset about anyway."
Seth glanced up at the clock. "What are you upset about?"
"There's someone that I like and they don't like me back."
Hormones reactivate as for a moment Seth thinks she's talking about him, but when he glances her over he realizes her eyes are as unfocused as his were a second ago. "You should tell them," he says softly, "if you care about someone you should tell them."
But even though he's looking at her, the Princess, he's not thinking about his feelings for her.
He's thinking about his dad. He's remembering the night he died. The boating accident.
He's remembering how he hugged his dad and told him he loved him, because Seth Clearwater had many faults, but not loving his father was never one of them. At least not when his father was alive.
Yet, now that his father died, suddenly everything changed.
He had thought he had lost the best part of himself when his father died, the part that knew how to love. And maybe he had thought a crush on Tanya would fix things, but looking at the girl drenched in equal parts estrogen and tears he realizes that doesn't solve anything either.
The arrow-head doesn't matter, having that or not having that. What matters is the memory, the feeling behind it. He had been looking for treasure, instead of trying to protect the treasure he did have. He was just like the dad in the Pokemon games, he had gone out to find his Pokemon adventure and he had totally forgotten about his family back home.
And okay, maybe that metaphor isn't the greatest, but he feels like he understands something now.
So it kind of makes sense that after saying his goodbye's to Tanya and returning back to the security line. His sister's looking contrite, holding up the necklace, saying, "This is what set of the detectors, they thought I might use it as a weapon. I just have to put it in my carry-on."
She offers him his DS, but he doesn't take it.
"I think," he says softly, "I'd like to talk about Dad."
And Sue starts laughing .
And Leah starts crying.
And the TSA agent has abosolutely no idea what to do with the Clearwater tribe, together for the first time in a long, long time.