On the fourth day of Christmas, the TARDIS gave to me: four Coal Hill Schools (three hybrids, two Osgoods, and Clara travelling with Me).
"Doctor, I really need to get back to school now." Clara urged, a small crease appearing between her eyebrows in concern. She was currently situated in the TARDIS console room again, and had got dressed in a teacher-esque outfit in preparation to return to her English classroom… about five TARDIS trips ago.
It was her fourth time returning to Coal Hill School after hopping back into a particularly lengthy and adventurous trip with the new Doctor, so she knew it would be strange, but she also had a duty to maintain her job. She did actually enjoy her job, despite it being incredibly mundane compared to her alternate time and space travelling hobby outside of 'normal' life. But that was the good thing about working at Coal Hill School – it was a relaxing respite from what could be an overwhelming and exhausting life with the Doctor.
The Doctor naturally misunderstood Clara's request, and his large, vaguely fearsome eyebrows pulled low over his intense gaze as he replied. "Back to school? But you must be about fifty years of age by now, I assume you have undergone education at least once already. Why do you need to go through it again?"
"Okay, first of all, fifty? I'm twenty-seven, Doctor! To say you're a time traveller, your concept of age is really quite worrying. Secondly, I'm not going back to learn – I'm a teacher! An English teacher, remember?" Clara exclaimed, her exasperation at her friend clearly showing.
"Ohhh, I get it now." The Doctor nodded in understanding. "You help the actual pupils to learn the work given to them at school."
"Yes! Well done, gold star for you." Clapping sarcastically, Clara smiled.
"But why do you teach them English? The school is in England, so I'm guessing most pupils already speak English. Why are you teaching them a language they already know?" The Doctor was genuinely curious; he wasn't faking his confusion.
"Oh for God's sake." Clara sighed, wanting to leave the TARDIS. However, she was aware that the Doctor wouldn't go until she had explained her job to him. "English doesn't mean the language, not in school. It means we read books together as a class and analyse them, write essays on them, that kind of thing. Now can we go?"
Finally, the Doctor understood. Any further questions he neglected as he fully focused on Clara's request. "Okay, well since I don't remember how to get to this school-"
"You don't remember? It's only been a few weeks!" Clara's tone was critical and surprised.
"Yes, well, I must have deleted it. It's not interesting, or important." The Doctor's words were slightly rude, but Clara was getting used to his stubborn and sincere persona, so she ignored it. "I'll have to use the TARDIS TAS-Nav to get there." He continued.
"TAS-Nav? What's that, then?" Clara inquired.
"Time And Space Navigation. It's the Time Lord equivalent of a Sat-Nav. I enter the name or coordinates of a location, along with the date and time of desired arrival, and the TARDIS should take us right there." The Doctor explained.
"Should take us there? Not will?" Clara noticed.
"Nothing's fool proof, Clara." He glanced up at her briefly, stating it as if it were obvious.
Clara rolled her eyes. "Well, that's just great."
"Oh, don't be like that! I'll get us there eventually." The Doctor gave his companion a lop-sided smile in an attempt at reassuring her, but it didn't really work. Instead of dwelling on the possibility of their trip going wrong, he proceeded with it. "What's the school called?"
"Coal Hill School."
The Doctor entered it on the keypad. "And the date is…?"
"The autumn term starts on September the third, so that date, at about quarter to nine in the morning."
Tapping the buttons, the Doctor then turned to the TARDIS console and pulled a lever to trigger their journey through the time vortex. After a suspiciously short amount of time, they had arrived.
"Right! There you go, beyond those doors lies Coal Hill School, and a new era of teaching small humans insignificant things about books." The Doctor introduced, his tone ever cynical.
"The humans aren't actually that small. It's a high school I teach at, so most of them are taller than me." Clara pointed out.
"What?"
"Nothing, never mind." Clara brushed it off, then turned back to her friend on her way out. "I suppose I'll see you whenever, then."
"Yes. I won't set a specific date, you know I'm terrible at keeping to it." The Doctor's words basically translated into 'I won't be returning at any point in the immediate future, though I'll try not to leave it too late because I'm quite worried that if I do, you won't care about travelling with me anymore'.
Clara understood this, and nodded her head, remaining as positive as possible. "See you later."
Despising farewells, the Doctor refused to say goodbye, instead stepping backwards awkwardly and returning to the console so he could hide his face behind the monitor. Giving one last glance at her friend, Clara quickly turned away and eased open one TARDIS door. When she stepped out, she was met with the strangest and most unexpected sight.
"Doctor?" She called out, frozen in place. "Doctor, this isn't my school!"
The ground beneath Clara was a fierce blood red, the sky above her a breath-taking shade of green. Ahead of her was an odd yet weirdly beautiful building, shaped in a topsy-turvy manner yet twisted into such interesting angles, it was so mesmerising to look at. An alarm, or bell of sorts, was ringing out loudly, originating from the building – it was a different type of alarm sound than Clara was used to on Earth, more like an alien scanner or something. Hang on a minute… alien! That was it!
"This definitely isn't Earth." Clara stated the obvious to herself as she figured out where exactly she was. "But judging by the building in front of me and the bell I'm hearing, this must be-"
"This is a school, but it's not your school." The Doctor completed Clara's speculation as he exited the TARDIS, leaving the door slightly ajar as he stood beside her. His companion glanced at him in surprise as he stared back. "I entered the correct school name into the system, but yours can't be the only Coal Hill School in the universe. I checked the location on the monitor as soon as we arrived – this is Laco Lilh School, on the planet Plintob. This school's name is an anagram of yours, which must have confused the TAS-Nav and so we were sent here instead."
Nodding slowly, Clara posed a rather unexpected question. "Can we explore it?"
"I wouldn't recommend it. The creatures of this planet – Plintobians – are really quite isolated. They don't appreciate new or different company at all, and I do believe they'd become hostile towards us. Anyway, I thought you needed to get back to school ASAP?" The Doctor's sinister tone persuaded Clara to want to return to the TARDIS, and his last point was very true.
"Yeah… Back to the TARDIS it is, then."
After leaping back into their machine and slamming the doors shut behind them, the Doctor deleted Laco Lilh School from the TAS-Nav database, once again pulling the lever to travel to the next place the TAS-Nav sent them (hopefully the right one this time). It didn't take long for the TARDIS to materialise.
"Alright! See you later, again." Clara said goodbye to her friend for the second time that day, still feeling a pang of despair at leaving him, though not quite as much as the previous time.
"Yes." The Doctor agreed, just as reluctant to say farewell as before.
Stepping out again into a completely different world than the last one, Clara found herself in what appeared to be a store room cupboard. Scanning the vicinity, she noticed the shelves were stacked with pencils and paper – in other words, a typical human school cupboard. Sighing with relief, Clara cautiously opened the door, peeping out to ensure no one saw her and questioned why she was in there. However, when she explored more of the school via the corridors, she noticed it didn't look at all like the Coal Hill School she was familiar with. Investigating further, Clara strolled warily down the corridor until she approached the first door. Since it didn't contain a window, like the door to her own classroom did, she had no choice but to knock and open it to view what was inside.
"Come in!" A cheery female voice (presumably the teacher) called out, beckoning Clara into the classroom. "How may I help you?"
Staring wide-eyed at the teacher, Clara instantly knew she was in the wrong place. The teacher's hair was all kept neatly out of her face in a pleat, she wore a turtleneck jumper with a knee-length pencil skirt, and she was stood next to a blackboard the length of the wall, adorned with educational jargon words written with chalk. When Clara's gaze swept the room, she noticed the pupils were dressed in tidy yet varied clothes and were seated at individual wooden desks. They scribbled enthusiastically on paper using fountain pens, too engrossed in their work to even notice the out-of-place visitor.
Once Clara realised the teacher was still staring at her, awaiting an answer, she fixed a pleasant smile on her face and hastily invented a reply. "Oh! Er, wrong classroom, sorry!"
Not sticking around long enough to see the teacher's reaction, Clara left the room and quickly shut the door. Frowning, she then dashed back along the route she had entered with, desperately hoping the TARDIS would still be in the store cupboard. If not, she'd be stuck in this strange era for goodness knows how long. Fortunately, just as she turned the handle on the cupboard door, the Doctor was exiting the cupboard and they almost ran into each other.
"The sixties! You brought me to the sixties!" Clara exclaimed, infuriated but still slightly amused.
"Sorry, sorry." The Doctor apologised briefly, then went on to explain how it happened. "This is the right school, but I realised I forgot to enter the year of desired arrival along with the date and time. You're right, this is Coal Hill School in 1963. This really takes me back – quite literally."
"Oh haha, very funny." Clara rolled her eyes. "Enough with the puns already! Just get me to my own school, in my own time. Please." She added as an afterthought.
"Right! Back into the TARDIS, hurry up now." The Doctor urged, gesturing for Clara to go first, which she did, glaring unthreateningly at him as she did.
Closing the door behind him, the Doctor penguin-waddled into the TARDIS and returned to the console, hurriedly typing in '2014' after 'Coal Hill School' in the TAS-Nav keypad. "Right, it should work this time."
"Thanks, that's very reassuring."
"Hey! Sarcasm is the highest form of wit, you know." The Doctor spoke in an accusatory manner, pointing a finger at Clara to emphasise his point.
"You do realise that's a compliment, Doctor?" Clara mentioned, confused.
"Or is it lowest form of wit? Probably, but mine still works – wit is dangerous. It causes over-confidence and arrogance, and arrogance is what gets people killed." His tone low, the Doctor's philosophical words came across as vaguely ominous.
Instead of encouraging another of the Doctor's verbal speculative rants, Clara stopped him in his tracks by changing the subject back to the matter in hand. "It's getting late… First day back is important, you know. My actions will set people's impressions of me in stone for at least the first term."
"Yes, I get the picture." The Doctor snapped, but not in a way that made Clara offended or annoyed with him. He lightened his voice a little with his next words. "Next stop, Coal Hill School!"
Pulling the lever for the third time, the TARDIS flew through the time vortex and landed.
"See you later." The edge of emotion to Clara's voice had now almost disappeared completely, since she'd said it unnecessarily twice before. Instead, she sounded bored due to the constant repetition as she left the TARDIS.
Assessing her surroundings, Clara realised she was in the correct year this time. But that wasn't to say it was the correct area…
"Doctor!" She yelled, more irritated than ever. She had landed outside a building that was probably a school, but the sun above her burned far hotter than it ever would in England, and the atmosphere just felt wrong. Something caught her eye, and when she shielded her eyes against the blaring star, she noticed the Statue of Liberty standing tall and proud in the distance.
Leaping out of the TARDIS in confusion, the Doctor appeared. "What is it now? This one has to be right!"
"We're in America." Clara stated monotonously, raising her eyebrows at him in a disapproving manner.
"You don't live in America?" The Doctor asked, and although Clara knew he must have been joking, his expression was quite serious. Mentally placing aside her utter bewilderment at him, she sighed and shoved him back in the blue box, ignoring his protestations.
Following him in, Clara closed the doors and leaned against them with her back, folding her arms across her chest. "What happened this time?"
Stepping back up to the console, the Doctor soon gave her a simple answer. "Evidently there is a Coal Hill School in New York. If the next one isn't your school, I'll eat my bow tie."
In this situation, it turned out to be fourth time lucky. As soon as the TARDIS materialised, the Doctor made sure to check their location, time and date on the monitor before Clara left.
"Here we are! Coal Hill School, East London, England, 8:45am, September 3rd, 2014." The Doctor stated triumphantly, smiling proudly at his companion.
Chuckling, Clara began to head over to the doors. "Four Coal Hill Schools in the universe. Who'd have thought?"
"Actually, it's very likely that there's more. The TARDIS doesn't always pick up on every time zone or every planet. There's most certainly a Coal Hill School in a parallel universe as well, but the TARDIS can't travel to parallel universes – well, not purposely, anyway. Many different Coal Hill Schools, but this is the only one that really matters." The Doctor went on, figuring Clara wasn't interested, but unable to help himself.
"I suppose." Clara spoke wistfully, considering all the possibilities of alternate universes and planets out there. There were so many places she had yet to visit, and so many she never would. For now, though, it was time to return to a bit of normality. "Well, this is the real goodbye. For now, at least."
"Yes…" The Doctor still refused to say it, preferring keeping to minimal words until he next saw his companion.
"I know you're a man of few words when it comes to this sort of thing." Clara read his mind exactly. "So how's about this?"
"About what?" Ultimate confusion was rapidly replaced with realisation, then fear on the Doctor's face. "Wait.. No. No, you're not- You know I don't like… Clara!"
Ignoring the Doctor's protesting, Clara stepped over to him and pulled him into an awkward hug; she was clinging tightly to him as she radiated warmth and caring, whereas he froze in place, his arms firmly planted by his sides while he endured the embrace. The Doctor looked violated and uncomfortable when Clara finally pulled free.
"See you later." She beamed at her friend as she skipped to the doors. Without looking back, she departed from the TARDIS. Clara's grin extended when she recognised the store cupboard attached to her classroom. She'd got there in the end.