Author's Note: I apologize for updating this fic so late! The reasons why are in my profile in my Author's Update/Story Status section. Yeah I tell ya everything there so check it out a few days at a time I guess just to see what's up with me or my fics. Well, this chapter is incredibly sad. So break out the Kleanex ladies! (..and guys.. if you're really that fruity..) cause this ride is gonna be a rocky one which reveals how Kagome's father died.

I know I probably more than likely screwed up on the ages, and other stuff like that, but just please bear with me.

Song used in chapter: Run by Snow Patrol

Please read and review! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

Chapter Four: Heaven Is So Far Away

"You want to know… don't you, Inuyasha."

Profound uncertainty pulsated through Inuyasha's entire being. He swallowed and willed himself to look longer into her eyes. He felt himself shake his head very slightly, but quickly then, he stopped, as if he didn't want her to if she did not wish for him to know, but also he just did not know what else to think.

He bit his lip for a second and stole another glance back at the picture. As he looked away from her, he could practically feel her inner pain surround her, burning through her dismal eyes back at him now. If her eyes themselves could speak, they would already be telling the sad story all on their own.

Kagome stepped forward once, and inhaled deeply, I knew I would have to tell him this someday, but I guess there's no such thing as " preparing" to do something like that.

But as she looked at Inuyasha who so curiously and somewhat nervous gazed at the picture longer, she knew he would understand. She knew, because he himself had suffered the pain of losing a person he loved more than anything else in the entire world as a young child, and even as the man he is now.. his own mother.

Even right now, if Kagome wanted to just walk away.. She felt like she wasn't able to. How could she, even as she asked Inuyasha what he desperately wants to know?

This is going to be.. really, hard. Kagome felt her chest tighten on its own in this sudden anxiety she felt take over her.

The stars' brilliant shine dimmed through the windows of the darkened house. The living room Kagome and Inuyasha were standing in, was lifeless and somewhat cold. Through the dimness, Inuyasha looked into her eyes. Still, without his advanced his demon senses, he could see her perfectly.

Kagome opened her mouth, and found her voice to be low, and cracking at some moments, "My mother and father were celebrating the anniversary of their marriage. Their marriage together of eleven years spent together."

Inuyasha froze, hearing her voice, the only sound audible in this household, and his heart swelled with grief. He listened intently. He dared not to say one word unless he needed to. All this time, Kagome had known about how his mother died, all about his past and how he had lost her. Nevertheless, he realized it was his turn to find out how she lost her father. He found himself wanting to know so badly now.

Inuyasha did not realize however, that before he would fall asleep this night, he would know absolutely everything.

She took a deep, shaky breath to calm her nerves, "I was nine years old at the time, Souta was only about one." Another breath. Kagome felt her chest tighten inside even more. Well shit. Her little theory was correct after all. This was going to be so much harder than she thought. "I was… standing just in front of the doorway in my small pajamas, waiting to say goodbye to them, wishing them to have a fun time out… just the two of them."

"As soon as I saw them leave and the door shut in front of me. My smile had somehow vanished, but at the moment, I had no idea why."

Kagome looked straight at the picture, and not at Inuyasha who was looking at her, "At that instant, I wanted to go with them. I wanted to be with them, but I stayed… I didn't bother running out the door and stopping them. I just remained standing there until I heard Souta crying, then Granpa and I went to go take care of him… But as the night went on, I found out that my bad feeling wasn't completely gone yet… I had really wanted that feeling to go away."

Inuyasha knew Kagome felt guilt for this. He could tell, she held this burden on her shoulders everyday and yet hid it all the time so well in fact that it had even gone unnoticed by him. But now it was all coming out in front of him, all of this burden being released. And he respected her strength at doing so.

The hanyou, this moment, felt so close to Kagome, heart-to-heart. He figured out now that he was more than likely the first person she had ever openly told this to, not her friends in this era, not Sango or Miroku… but him. In a way, he felt honored that she would open up to him and trust him with this so much, so unconditionally and without any doubt. He soon found himself looking at her very caringly and still sad as she began to speak once more. He continued to listen.

"I was asleep in my room when I heard Granpa come rush in, shaking me awake… I didn't hear what he said at first, but all I could understand was that my mother was at the hospital with my father. It suddenly hit me that one of them was hurt badly." She swallowed.

"The way to the hospital with Granpa and Souta was a blur, all I remember was being so scared of what I was about to find out, or see… I felt my heart sink deeper and deeper as I hopped out of the car and raced to the hospital entrance."

Inuyasha had remembered the hospital that Kagome had shown him once on a walk to the park a couple of months ago. He had wondered what that place was, simply out of curiosity, and she had explained that it was a place to take sick and injured people so other people could help them get better. And before he knew it, he was asking what another building was for, and so on..

"I ran inside, Granpa was carrying Souta, and was right behind me. I raced down the hallway to hopefully find my parents soon, and I did, but only my mom. She stopped me roughly with a tight hug. She was… w-was crying." The miko's voiced cracked on the last word but she did not falter anymore than that. Her eyes were evidently glassy as she took a short pause to regain herself.

"She picked me up, and carried me down more hallways. At that moment all the things around me seemed to slow down..." Her eyes became dull, the memories coming back to her, "I remembered absolutely everything…. I remembered everything I saw, everything I smelled, and every emotion that I felt. It's… really.. frightening how much I can imagine myself there.. right now, and how it seems to be so real.. even now"

She looked in his dark colored eyes for a moment, giving him a look that he understood instantly, have you ever felt like that before?

Inuyasha saw Kagome look through the picture, now into nothingness, living the moment when she was being carried through those hallways by her mother, very scared and feeling doubtful.

The silence was almost smothering. She could hear Inuyasha breathing, his mouth slightly open from this true story he was hearing. He blinked and waited for her to continue. Right now, he knew it was not his time to speak, not just yet. Kagome, what else happened…

She gulped audibly I… I can't believe I'm saying all of this to him.. so openly, like this. I never thought that I would.. well, at least not this soon anyway… It's so much harder than I expected… I just.. I don't know what Inuyasha could be thinking right now… I wish I knew. The miko realized that Inuyasha was patiently waiting for her to continue. Without looking at him, she could feel his sympathy and understanding for her. Kagome was glad to have found comfort in that for a moment.

"And then… I saw him.. He was laying on the hospital bed, his eyes were closed. I thought he was sleeping." She spoke softly, "but then, he opened his eyes… and he only looked at me… right into my eyes, with so much love.. so much, that I smiled.. and I ran to his side quickly." She bit her lip and blinked her eyes momentarily.

Oh gods, why was this so hard? She had lived this moment so long ago.. so long that she should not cry. Why did it do this to her? These memories.. she didn't know why they would not let her heart be at ease, instead of aching so much. The last thing she wanted now was to let Inuyasha see her cry.

"I jumped up and sat beside him, I laid my hand on his cheek that was covered by a bandage.. and asked him if he was ok… He ignored my question.. and just looked at me with a light smile, it was fading." She clenched her small fists.

"All he asked… all he asked, was… to sing for him." Her voice cracked once again at the last sentence. She shut her eyes tightly… and, against her fragile will, a tear was freed.

"Kagome, please.. sing for me?"

The young girl smiled so brightly then. Her most enjoyment shone through her eyes and smile when she sang, it was what she did often everyday. It seemed to bring a smile out of anyone who would be near her when they heard her voice. Singing was a gift Kagome never realized that she had.

But in their environment of fluorescent lighting, bustling people and strong medicinal smells, it would have been slightly awkward in some way. But Kagome paid no mind to it. Whenever and wherever her father would request her to sing, she will do just that.

Kagome curled up her small legs to sit back next to her father who smiled weakly and became unquestionably paler. His soft smile soothed her worried heart. The small girl held her father's bruised hand in both of hers. Before anything else could be said by him, Kagome's voice filled his ears.

"I'll sing it one last time for you.. Then we really have to go.. You've been the only thing that's right, in all I've done." Kagome sang softly, yet her voice was heard so clearly.. even by a few more passing people who heard her in the hallway, and they smiled her way, then they were gone in a blink of an eye, walking down the rest of the hall.

It took all his might for her father to hug her with his one and only arm. His tears were falling freely without any restraint as he felt his lower lip tremble. He was losing his vision quickly. Kagome only closed her eyes and sang more.

The last words he whispered were the words Kagome would never forget, "Your voice.. Kagome, is the most beautiful sound in the world."

She tucked her head under his chin and sang softer, "To think I might not see those eyes, makes it so hard not to cry.. and as we say our long goodbyes, I nearly do… Light up.. Light up, as if you had a choice.. even if you cannot hear my voice… I'll be right beside you, dear."

It did not occur to her that a doctor had come to talk with her mother who was just outside of the room with Granpa and Souta. Her mother's face was stricken white with shock.

The young girl was falling asleep slowly, "Have heart, my dear.. We're bound to be afraid.. even if it's just for a few days.. Making up for all that's left."

Kagome's mother was crying uncontrollably as the doctor was holding her shoulders. He had told her everything. Her husband would die, tonight.

She turned to look at Kagome and rushed toward her, "Oh Kagome!" She did not want her daughter to witness this right now. It was all already too late, he was gone. His arm had fallen limp from the girl's small form.

Kagome opened her innocent eyes wide abruptly at feeling the sudden pull from her mother who tore her from her father's side. Kagome was quick to protest, "Mommy what are you doing!" she asked loudly, trying to look back at her father who looked like he had gone back to sleep. Wasn't he going back home with them?

Kagome's last living memory of her father was his pale sleeping face as her mother had began to run. She was crying even harder as she fell to her knees and hugged Kagome tightly.. The reality of the moment had sunk in so heavily that it made her feet giveway…

On her knees, her mother screamed.. What scared Kagome most.. was that she didn't stop.

She sucked in a sharp breath as she fell to her knees and cried freely.

Inuyasha was quick to help her. He stood on his knees, bringing Kagome up with him in a tight hug. His eyes were opened wide and he grit his teeth together hard. Kagome was trying to say something, but her voice only came out in gasps and loud sobs.

The hanyou held his hand on the back of her head, and his other arm was around her back. He hugged her to him fiercely as he looked past her, resting his head on her shoulder, looking down now. He shut his eyes as he heard her cry louder, "Kagome." His voice could not find any more words to say. He wanted to say so much to her.

Kagome gasped in breaths and hugged Inuyasha around his neck, needing the comfort that he was offering. She felt so undoubtedly weak and powerless at this very moment. Why did this happen to her? Why were her mother's screams engraved in her heart? She would never forget that sound and how it meant she had lost her father, forever.

Everyone was so happy as Kagome was now living her current life, her brother, her mother... Including her friends and family around her everyday, there were just too many smiles to count... and Kagome knew that she was smiling, too. But now...when she looked back... the person who should be here, wasn't. The person who should be smiling with her wasn't here. And that pain would never go away. And what was completely heart-aching about it for Kagome, Inuyasha knew, was that it could never be helped.

But it can't all end this way. Every time that Kagome thinks of her father, she should not frown. Inuyasha wanted her to smile whenever she thought of him and his last smile and words he gave to her before he died.

If it took everything he had, Inuyasha vowed to be the person who would make her truly smile again.