A/N: Apologies, dear reader, for the delay. I haven't written for so long but it was about time I got back to it.
A big thank you to all those of you who have read and reviewed. A big thank you to Meg and to SomethingBorrowed.
We return now to Lily's perspective.
Lily couldn't help but resent James' insistence that she didn't travel alone. She valued her independence above all things, occasionally to the detriment of her personal safety. But, of course, she would never admit this to James. It would only add to his argument that times had changed and it was unwise to tempt fate by travelling alone.
"Don't you think I'm more than capable of looking after myself?" she had fumed one day, her eyes fiercely fixed on her husband. Remus and Sirius, who had just returned with a round of drinks, sensed the brewing argument and tactfully began to talk amongst themselves.
"That's not what I'm saying at all," James stressed with a wave of his hand.
"You go off on your own all the time! So do Sirius and Remus…" At the mention of his name Sirius looked up but Remus, perhaps knowing better, kept his eyes fixed on his drink.
"But that's different. They're…" James had began to say without thinking but at Sirius' sharp intake of breath and swift shake of the head he had fallen silent.
"What, James? Were you going to say that it's different because they're men?"
James had shaken his head and said, "That's not what I meant. Look, Lily, I understand that you don't appreciate the way things have to be." He reached across the table and, as much as she didn't want to respond, Lily couldn't help but allow him to take her hand. "But I love you. And I don't want to lose you. So please…"
"Nearly there," a voice wheezed beside her, shaking Lily out of her reverie. It had been Peter's turn to accompany her to Ottery St. Catchpole, although she had insisted that she be allowed to make the visit to The Burrow alone.
Peter seemed more than happy to comply. In the weeks that had past, with first the murder of Benjy Fenwick and now the deaths of Gideon and Fabian Prewett, Peter had become increasingly jumpy. He had always been nervous by nature. For as long as Lily could remember he had scurried along behind his friends - friends who were much more confident than he was – his beady eyes always watching, always calculating. In fact, Peter's nature often unsettled her.
At first, when they had all been younger and Lily hadn't really known the Marauders all that well she had always put Peter's nervousness down to the effect of having such domineering friends. However, as they had grown older and she had grown closer to the Marauders she had come to suspect that there was something baser, more integral to Peter's personality that made him constantly anxious; something almost sinister in his weakness.
"They're nice," Peter said, his eyes darting towards Lily's hands.
Lily had bought flowers, a gesture which suddenly felt empty as she walked up the path to The Burrow. She looked up at the ramshackle building. The sky was already darkening. Through the windows which were blinkered by the shutters that blew open and closed in the wind she could see two red-haired boys chasing each other up the stairs, their father in swift pursuit.
"I'll be alright from here," Lily said, warmed by the sight of life in The Burrow in a time when life seemed to be being extinguished all around them.
"Prongs will meet you later," Peter said, his voice muffled by the scarf he had pulled up so it covered his mouth. But there was no mistaking the tone of pride with which he said, "Well I better be going. This war isn't going to win itself…" And with a sharp CRACK Peter had gone.
After a momentary hesitation Lily knocked and after the pounding of descending footsteps from within the door opened to reveal the red-haired, and now red-faced, man on the other side.
"How are you Arthur?" Lily asked as Arthur manoeuvred himself back into the narrow hallway, picking his way through the Wellingtons and jackets that had slipped from their places on pegs.
"Keeping my chin up," Arthur replied, closing the night out behind Lily and, with a flick of his wand, securely locking the door. The smile he tried to force wavered slightly as he looked down at the flowers Lily was carrying and said hurriedly, "Oh that's very kind of you, my dear, very much appreciated." His attention was fixed on the multi-coloured tissue paper that had been wrapped around the bouquet and he asked with genuine interest, "Very pretty. Did you go to one of those special shops? Oh, now, what do the Muggles call them?"
"A florist?" Lily asked with a smile.
"Ah, yes, that's it! A florist," he articulated slowly.
At that moment there was the sound of voices from the floor above and Lily looked up to see the two boys she had glimpsed through the windows bound down the stairs.
"Bill! Charlie!" Arthur reprimanded and almost instantly the two boys came to an abrupt halt. "What have I told you about running up and down the stairs? You know you have to be more considerate towards your mother."
The eldest boy, Bill, glanced out of the corner of his eye to his younger brother, Charlie, who was trying not to smile down at his feet.
"Well?" Arthur chastised with less conviction.
The two boys lifted their heads and intoned in unison, "Sorry dad."
"Well…yes…" Arthur gave an imploring look to Lily who, sensing his inexperience at disciplining his children, took over. "Why don't you boys go upstairs and play now? I'm sure you'll be both be able to come up with something much more interesting then running up and down a stupid staircase."
It seemed to work and Bill pulled his younger brother up the stairs behind him by the sleeve of his too big jumper.
Relieved, Arthur watched his two sons disappear into the darkness of the corridor above and turned back to Lily with a grateful smile.
"Boys," Lily offered in explanation.
"Hard work, this family business," Arthur said. "Those two," he continued, raising his eyes to the ceiling, beyond which Lily imagined Bill and Charlie were already playing, "are usually as good as gold. I think all this…business lately has upset them." He'd stressed the word delicately and Lily caught the way he frowned. But as he guided her along a narrow corridor towards the kitchen he seemed to recover some of his characteristic cheeriness as he continued to talk about his children. "Percy's never been any trouble. You'd hardly know he was there sometimes. But Fred and George…" Arthur trailed off, his hand on the handle to the kitchen door, and turned to Lily and said with a shake of his head, but what Lily was certain was a mischievous glint in his eye, "They're going to give us a run for our money."
He opened the door and the warmth of the kitchen hit Lily immediately. A boy of about two sat on the rug by the fire, quietly turning the pages of a magically illustrated book entitled My First Wizarding Alphabet. A plump, short woman wearing a flowery apron was standing at the stove, stirring something which was bubbling in a pot with circular movements of her wand. In the corner of the room Lily could just about glimpse two identical sleeping faces, tucked tightly beneath patchwork blankets, being rocked in their enchanted crib.
"Molly?" Arthur called but Molly didn't hear. As she stirred she stared absently out of the window, out into the landscape which was being obscured by the light rain that had begun to pelt the glass. Lily hung back in the doorway, fearful of intruding on her sadness and watched as Arthur crossed the room to his wife, pausing to ruffle Percy's hair where he was reading, before placing a hand on Molly's shoulder and causing her to start and turn round.
"Molly?" Arthur repeated very gently and as Molly's eyes caught Lily's she quickly brushed away the tears from her flushed cheeks. "Lily's here."
Lily tried to smile but no smile would come. She suddenly felt awkward, uncomfortable, unsure of what to do or say. To fill the silence Lily extended her arm, holding out the bunch of flowers she had bought as an offer of sympathy for Molly to take. Molly managed a small smile as she said very quietly, "Thank you."
Arthur took the flowers and, after placing them in the cracked Butler sink, guided Molly to the low wooden table and, pulling out a chair, said softly, "You sit down now. Take the weight off. I'll make you and Lily some tea and then leave you'll to it…"
Lily wrapped her hands around the mug of tea, grateful for its warmth, and blew the steam away. With Arthur gone a sombre silence had descended in the room between the two women, broken only by the rhythmic rocking of the crib and the light turning of pages. After what felt like forever Molly took a deep breath and said, in a voice barely above a whisper, "I just can't get used to them being gone."
Lily, seized by a sudden tenderness and a desire to comfort, reached across the table and squeezed Molly's hand. Molly looked up, her brown eyes dark with sorrow, barely concealing the inconsolable grief that Lily knew she must be feeling.
Even though Lily had told herself that the words would seem so meaningless if she spoke them, she couldn't help but say, "I'm so sorry Molly."
At this Molly released Lily's hand and, shaking her head she began in restrained tones, "I always knew the dangers. I always realised that there would be causalities…" Her voice had wavered and she broke off, unable to control the emotions that were swiftly overcoming her. Lily watched, desperate to console but cautious of interrupting, as Molly's shoulders rose and fall. Finally, after regaining some sort of composure, Molly continued, "But why them, Lily?"
"I don't know," Lily said quietly.
"They were good, honest men. I couldn't have asked for two better brothers." Molly shook her head at this, anger swiftly replacing sadness as she placed one hand on her swollen stomach and said vehemently, "What sort of world is this to bring a baby into? What sort of future will it have?"
After only a momentary hesitation Lily answered. "A future that we must keep fighting for." Molly's anger seemed to subside then and Lily felt her eyes fix keenly on her as she continued, "That's who we're fighting for Molly. We're fighting for your children, born and unborn, just as much as we're fighting for your brothers who sacrificed their lives to give others a chance to live."
Tears rolled down Molly's cheeks as she asked, "You've lost people close to you, Lily. You can understand."
Lily thought then of her parents, of her father who had died when she was fifteen and of her mother who had passed away shortly after she had married James the previous summer. At her mother's funeral James had held her hand, silently handed her a handkerchief during the service, had reassured her when Petunia and her husband Vernon had snubbed them.
That night James had treated her tenderly, caring for her as though she were a child. Indeed, that was how she had felt having suddenly been left without either of her parents. He knows how I feel she had thought to herself as he had bent down before her to remove her shoes. James had lost both of his parents. However, as James had helped her out of her clothes and into her pyjamas and had guided her over to the bed, this thought had afforded her very little comfort. Even though he had climbed in beside her and gathered her into his arms she had felt alone, as if she was the only person to ever lose someone: that no one else could possibly understand.
"My mother died last year, my father when I was in my fifth year at Hogwarts…"
Suddenly there was an interruption. There had been a knock at the door and Arthur had opened it and now both Lily and Molly sat listening to the sound of two male voices. The kitchen door opened and Lily had never been more relieved to see her husband standing on the other side.
"I managed to get here earlier than I thought. If you don't want to go now I'll understand…"
But no sooner had James spoken then Molly had crossed the room, gathering Percy into her arms as she did so, and, with a glance to the clock on the wall whose arms now pointed at "Dinnertime" said, "Good heavens! I had no idea that was the time!" She ushered both James and Arthur into the kitchen and, placing Percy in Lily's lap, continued cheerily, "Now I absolutely insist that you both stay for dinner."
"Oh, no Molly," Lily said as Percy settled quietly into her lap. "We wouldn't want to intrude…"
"Nonsense. I'm sure I'll find someway of stretching it to two more people. I always manage somehow…"
"Well, as long as you're sure Molly," James said with a sidelong glance to his wife.
Lily looked at Molly and realised that what she needed was not to tell her how much she missed her brothers; how painful it was knowing that they'd never meet the child she was caring or how frightened she was that the world that child might inherit was so uncertain. What Molly needed was to get on with things, to keep busy, to keep going and, with that in mind, Lily said with a smile, "Why not? It's been ages since we all had dinner together. Can't say I won't be grateful for an excuse not cook."
Molly clapped her hands together and busied herself with a spell from one of the magical cookbooks she retrieved from the mantelpiece. Arthur and James spoke only a short while of the Ministry and the Order before Bill and Charlie's arrival caused all serious talk to cease all together.
"Did you know Daddy's friend was one of the best Quidditch players Hogwarts has ever seen?"
"Really?" Bill said, gazing at James in awe, encouraging him with that look to launch into his tales of how many times he single-handedly ensured that Gryffindor won every match he played in.
Lily watched her husband talking, animatedly re-enacting a time he had nearly fallen from his broom at least one hundred feet from the ground. Percy wrapped his little arms around her neck and sat motionlessly in her lap. She lowered her mouth and kissed his head, reassured by the future she held tightly in her arms. But the rain which had started so gently outside was now falling persistently and as Lily looked to the window and to the pitchy blackness of the clouds overhead she knew that a storm was coming.
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