A/N 1: This story is a companion piece to the previous chapter "Not So Tough After All". It is set during the Legacy of the Force era before "Sacrifice" when Luke and Ben were at odds with each other. Also, as part of this story, I am declaring (by artistic license) that Luke somehow ended up with a certain special item of Vader's after the ROTJ throne room scene.
.
.
A/N 2: Ben (and Luke and Mara too) may not be in 'canon-acceptable' character for this, but it's part of the story. They are human, and not perfect; therefore it stands to reason that they have bad days.
.
Sons of the Father:
Luke Skywalker blew out a weary sigh, wondering when this family dinner had gone so wide of the mark. Well, it wasn't really a family dinner, he supposed; Mara was at a meeting.
Luke reflected on how the night had begun so civilly and without malice. A melancholy descended upon the Jedi Grand Master as he realized that he couldn't be in the same room with his only son without fear of saying something amiss.
Where did I go wrong? Luke thought morosely.
"I really don't understand you Dad." Ben grated between clenched teeth. "Why are you so afraid of the Dark? Is that why you always wear black? Are you trying to convince the galaxy you are tougher than you they might think?"
Luke gazed at Ben, feeling his sorrowful mood begin to creep into his eyes. "I wear black to remind me of several things, Ben." He replied.
"Yeah? Like what?" Ben challenged.
"I don't have to list them all for you, Son." Luke said with an edge to his voice, warning the fourteen year old to back down.
Ben snorted. "Fine, so you're not the perfect, saintly Jedi Master. Why should I give a damn?"
"Because you're my son." Luke whispered, unable to look Ben in the eye for fear of failing to keep the tears at bay.
Ben had to lean forward to hear, and then scowled. "Well, maybe I don't want to be the son of the all-powerful Luke Skywalker!"
"Ben!" Luke couldn't keep the hurt at bay at his son's declaration, but the boy went on over him.
"I am so tired of you constantly nagging on me to watch for the Dark side, and to learn about the Force!" Ben paused in his tirade for breath; willfully ignoring Luke's losing his battle with his emotions. "And now that I finally give in and learn about the Force, you now have to nag and complain about my choice of a teacher! Jacen is not evil, Dad!" That last word was spat out like a curse.
Luke took a deep breath. "Ben, it's not that I don't love Jacen… I just don't fully trust him anymore."
"Yet you trust him with your child?" Ben backfired.
Luke looked him in the eye. "A child that doesn't listen to my counsel to walk away from Jacen." He said pointedly.
Ben actually flinched: he would admit he'd walked right into that one.
"Ben, please listen to me and stay away from Jacen." Luke pled, leaning forward. "He changed after he was kidnapped during the Yuuzahn Vong war. Jacen is not the same boy I watched grow up."
"No, maybe he simply grew up." Ben retorted heatedly. "Or are you simply jealous that I would rather spend my time with Jacen than you?"
Luke sat back as if Ben had punched him, breathing haggardly. "You… don't mean that." He whispered brokenly.
"I do. If you can't simply accept my choice, and let me be who I choose to be then stay out of my life." Ben stated coolly.
Luke's gaze bored into his plate, his jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. With a single sniffle, Luke shot to his feet and walked silently from the apartment without another word. Ben's gaze followed his back until the door closed.
00000
Mara Jade Skywalker paused in her work, feeling Luke's presence become saturated with grief. She had been receiving negative vibes from him all evening, as well as from Ben, and she knew that her boys were having another argument.
Mara sighed in frustration, wishing she knew how she could make them get along. She started to reach out to Luke when he closed in on himself, a signal that he needed time alone.
Well, he could ignore the rest of the galaxy, but not his wife.
Mara stood, ready to leave: ready to give her husband and son an earful respectively, when Luke's pain blossomed into full-out anguish. His despair hit her broadside, and the next thing she knew she was running for the landing pad.
00000
Ben Skywalker sat sullenly at the dinner table after his father left. Guilt seeped up, but he pushed it away stubbornly. Ben growled angrily and shot to his own feet, pacing the apartment.
"Dad is just too uptight." He muttered. "He is so afraid of the Dark Side that he lets it hamper him, and that hesitation hurts those around him."
But deep down, Ben had a notion that he was merely rationalizing: Luke Skywalker never did anything without a reason.
Ben looked up at some point and realized that he had ended up in is parent's bedroom. The closet door was slightly ajar, and something drew him to it. Ben frowned as he felt the strange pull.
Pursing his lips in indecision, Ben hesitated. When the feeling persisted, Ben gave in and opened the closet. He felt led to the corner of Luke's side of the space, and he knelt down. Moving the hems of Luke's spare outer Jedi robes, Ben spotted a plain black box.
His curiosity fully piqued now, Ben seized the item and opened the lid… and lifted an eyebrow.
Inside were only a few things, most of which made no sense to him whatsoever. Ben pulled out a swatch of black fabric, noticing the fine silky weave. It was definitely some high-end fabric.
Ben set it down, and then saw his fingers. "Ah come on!" he shouted
Angrily, Ben wiped the black… was that soot?... from his fingers and was much more careful of the remaining items in the box. An actual photo of his father with Han and Leia Solo was the next item Ben picked out.
He saw the youthful lines in all their visages, and realized that it had to have been taken during the Rebellion days. Ben laughed at Luke's much wilder hair and white clothing. He spotted another photo of them goofing off, but this one was in the snow.
Ben set the photos down with the cloth and peered inside the box yet again. He pulled out a datapad, turned it on, and then promptly turned it back off. He had no interest in his father's journal.
Ben saw that the container was now empty and threw it down in disgust. A rattling thump caught Ben's attention, and he carefully examined the box to find a false bottom had fallen out of place.
He gasped; eyes wide with awe as he gingerly reached out to brush his fingers against the cold, perfect metal of a lightsaber.
It was a beautiful object: expertly made with black steel accents on a silvery main handle that was sleek in design. This object had obviously been made by the hand of a warrior.
Ben pulled the hilt from the box and closed his hand around it, feeling the perfectly balanced weight sit welcomingly in his palm. He fingered the activation, wondering what color the blade would be, and why his father would be hiding this weapon.
As soon as the ruby blade snap-hissed into existence, Ben felt shadows swallow him.
00000
Luke slammed the door closed behind him, sealing out all light. He barely glanced at the inset keyboard as he selected the most difficult levels on all settings; heedless of the danger he was putting himself into.
Shrugging from his robe, and ready to snap, Luke initiated the training sequence and leapt for the center of the room where he was instantly met by six battle-droids armed to the teeth.
Luke whirled, dodged, parried and thrust, deflecting blasterfire from all directions. The intensity of the mock battle was increased by the advanced setting that allowed the droids to use real blasterfire.
One droid went down in seconds, dropping like a ton of duracrete bricks as Luke's lightsaber sliced it in two. With a shove, Luke sent another crashing heavily into the wall, the impact causing the metal of the wall to buckle slightly.
Luke's vision tunneled and he fought the raging emotions within him as well as the external fight. He was able to keep his calm center until the two remaining droids retreated as the random setting kicked in, sending in a cloud of razor-bug droid replicas.
Luke used a Force shield to stop the majority of them, and then swung his lightsaber wherever the Force led him to, taking out the rest. Almost.
A few slipped past his defenses and sliced into his arms, drawing blood as they cut into him.
Luke bit down hard on a scream of pain, managing to only allow a pained whimper to escape. And with the physical pain came flash memories of Ben's accusations.
I don't want to be your son!
Luke's heart clenched and his emotions boiled and spilt from his carefully crafted control, distracting him enough so that he missed the next change in the training session. Something slammed into him from behind, taking him by surprise, and Luke hit the ground hard.
00000
Mara cried out as Luke's now-physical pain washed over her. She felt a panic attack begin to rise within, but with fierce determination she jerked it back.
She would be no good to anyone if she couldn't think straight.
00000
When Ben came to, it was to find himself in a large room. Wind whipped about him with enough force to make him stagger.
But what drew his attention was the pair of lightsabers flashing and humming as a fierce battle was waged.
In a heart-wrenching second, Ben recognized the two figures.
"Dad?" Ben whispered.
He ran forward just as Vader roared mightily and sliced Luke's hand from his arm.
Luke screamed in agony, clutching his hand to his chest, while backing away along the girder beam he was on.
Ben knew what was coming next, and his attention was riveted. The two exchanged words, but Ben couldn't tear his eyes from Luke's face.
Finally the moment came, and Ben held his breath.
"No, Luke. I am your Father."
Luke's eyes grew wide, and he shook his head slowly in disbelief. "No…that's not true! That's… that's impossible!"
"Search your feelings, you know it's true!"
Luke's death-grip on the pole tightened even more.
"NOOOO!"
The scene changed then, showing him his father's recovery from his wound, his trial in accepting the truth, and finally his pleas with Vader on the landing platform at Endor.
When the scene changed once more, Ben found he was now in a dark, cold space that sent chills through him.
Ben's attention was grabbed in full, however, when a grating voice spoke from the shadows at the front of the dais.
"Welcome, young Skywalker. I have been expecting you."
00000
Luke spun around, bringing his blade up to meet with his newest adversary: an YVH1 droid programmed to help Jedi learn to battle tougher opponents.
The spot on Luke's back where the droid had hit him ached something fierce, and Luke began to wear down from the pain on his arms, in his heart, and now with his new ache. Tears blurred his vision, and a sob escaped him.
But, determined as ever to win, Luke leapt to his feet and charged the machine. He batted away blaster bolts, deflecting one back into the barrel of the blaster in the YVH's hand.
He leapt high, flipping over its head and stabbing down as he went. The thing was fast, though, and it spun around to meet Luke when he landed, slamming a metallic fist into Luke's stomach.
Luke doubled over, tears spilling without his say now. Luke struggled to regain breath, feeling his lungs lock up as his body began to panic from lack of air.
That was when the remaining two battle droids decided to join the fray. Luke batted away their first round of shots, but his body still could not draw breath, so his strength began to fade.
He felt the first tendrils of fear creep into him, and more sobs escaped him, which finally enabled him to breathe. But his victory was short lived when a blast from the three droids zeroed in on him.
Luke used the Force to leap clear, and the droid's shots each hit the other. The two battle droids went down in a smoking heap, and though the YVH droid was smoking, it still ran enough to be dangerous.
Another of Ben's accusations hit him as Luke took out the last droid, and dropped to his knees, shaking.
Why are you so afraid of the Dark?
Screams from the innocent lives he'd destroyed as Palpatine's pawn came back to him; their ever-haunting expressions burning into him.
Luke screamed, unable to take anymore and he curled into a sobbing heap on the floor, forgetting the training session still going on.
"Leave me alone!" Luke hollered, clutching desperately at his head. "I'm sorry! I am so sorry!"
Wave after wave of accusation slammed into him, and his breathing became short and uneven as he struggled not to be consumed by it. The guilt he'd always carried from his time at Byss now weighed him to the floor, rendering him unable to defend himself from the next wave of training session material.
00000
"DAD!" Ben shrieked as he watched Luke writhe on the deck, while Palpatine's Sith lightning only increased in intensity.
Ben had just seen Luke fight Vader into the ground in a fit of protective rage. He'd only come back from the brink when he realized he was well on his way to becoming just like Vader.
Something that still stuck with the Jedi Master to this day.
The Luke in his vision screamed in agony while Palpatine sneered and laughed down at him. Ben glared at the monster.
"STOP IT!" he yelled, trying to grab the man's gnarled hands so he could stop Luke's pain. Ben couldn't stand to see Luke in so much agony.
Oh, so it's okay for you to cause it, Ben, but no one else can hurt Dad?
Ben stopped cold, shame eating away at him. Ben looked to his grandfather, who stood nearly unmoving next to his master.
"Grandfather, please…" Ben whispered. "Help my father!"
As if to add to the tension, Luke's screams of torment were broken by his pleas for Darth Vader to help him.
Vader looked from Luke to Palpatine, and then to Luke again.
"No." It was a quiet noise, barely discernible, but then the Sith Lord was screaming it at full-volume. "NO!"
Ben watched in fascination as Vader hefted Palpatine over his helmeted head and walked him away from Luke. Sith lightning stream all through the pair, exposing their skeletal structures in blinding flashes of light, so intense was the energy coursing through them.
Luke managed to raise his weary head, smoke pouring from his body, and also watched Vader hurl the Emperor down the shaft where he exploded in a blast of Dark energy.
Luke crawled weakly over to Vader and pulled his now dying body from the edge of the shaft. Ben watched, indescribable tears leaking from his eyes at the profound love Luke had for Vader, even after all that had happened.
Ben moved to join them when the scene changed to Luke dragging Vader's body along the Death Star, and Ben witnessed their final conversation. He couldn't grapple with the fact that even with the imminent destruction of the battle station; Luke had brought Vader with him.
Finally, the vision came to an end with Luke picking up a small swatch of black cloth from what had once been Vader's cape. The remains of the funeral pyre were a testament to the power of forgiveness and love, and how a son's love for his father can work wonders…
With a heavy gasp, Ben sat upright, the now unlit lightsaber lying a few inches away. He must have collapsed onto the ground when the vision took him over. He sat back against the nearest wall, curled into a fetal position and thought over all he'd witnessed of his father's long and treacherous journey.
It was no wonder Luke feared the Dar Side so: he'd nearly succumbed to it. And then there was Byss… where he did give in.
And I threw it in his face. Ben berated himself.
He buried his face in his arms and wept bitterly.
00000
Mara's heart was racing as quickly as her feet, which carried her to the eye of the storm she sensed coming from a training room at the Jedi Temple.
She wrenched the door open in time to see a specially-designed droid leapt at a figure huddled on the floor.
"Luke!" she cried, slapping the panel beside the door to cancel the session before the droid could do serious damage.
The machine shut off instantly, dropping to the floor mere inches from her husband, who was so engulfed in his misery that he never noticed.
Mara raced to him, dropping beside him and grabbing his taut shoulders as Luke heaved mighty sobs. He was clutching his head as though to stop a migraine, his white-knuckled grasp tugging at his hair.
"Stop it, please! Go away!" Luke shouted to no one. "I'm sorry! So sorry!"
"Luke!" Mara tried to take one of his hands, but his grip was vice-like.
She took his face in her hands, slapping his cheeks to wake him up. He flinched as if stung, but his eyes sprang open. He gasped for air, his bloodshot eyes flitting about wildly for a long minute.
Finally Mara got his attention, and he allowed her to hold him in a comforting embrace until he regained a measure of composure. When he sat back he was no longer hysterical, but his tears still flowed like rivers.
"What is wrong with me, Mara?" Luke asked quietly. He turned pained eyes on her, searching for something.
"Nothing is wrong with you Skywalker; you had a flash back is all." Mara said.
But Luke shook his head. "No. There must… be something wrong… because my own son… h-hates me!" his voice cracked multiple times during this declaration, his tears just short of full-out sobs again.
Mara hadn't seen Luke this distressed since he thought she and Ben were going to die in childbirth. But there he sat in a broken heap, dropping is gaze from her's and beginning to rock.
"Luke, what are you talking about?" Mara asked, not understanding where he'd gotten such a notion.
He swallowed hard, still swaying slightly. "Do I push him too hard? I truly am concerned that Jacen will drag Ben down a lonely, dark, and ultimately painful path." Luke dodged her question.
Mara bit back a frustrated sigh, instead opting to remain rational. She reached out with the Force to caress his spirit, and she felt his aching soul drink her in. She flinched at the bloody mess of his emotions, almost pulling back.
Mara held on though, knowing Luke needed her.
"Mom?"
Mara turned her head at Ben's whisper-quiet call. Her son stood nervously in the doorway, his eyes glued to his father; the one man he'd never seen so beaten and broken, and probably had never wanted to.
"Ben, what is it? Now's not really a good time to…"
But her son moved forward almost as if he hadn't heard her. He knelt before Luke, placing a hand on the man's shaking shoulder. Mara was surprised to see tears glistening in Ben's cerulean eyes.
"Dad?" Ben leaned down so he could catch Luke's eye.
Mara felt the beginnings of understanding sink in, and she drew back enough to let them have their moment.
Luke refused to meet Ben's gaze. "I'm sorry Ben, for whatever I did to start us down this rocky path. I am sorry if my fears about Jacen are holding you back, but as your… as someone who loves you, I only do it because I want you to be safe." He took an unsteady breath. "And if that means I must protect you from myself, then so be it."
Ben hiccupped a sob of his own, bowing his head.
"Oh, Dad!" he stammered. "You are my father! I love you so much, and I wouldn't have it any other way! I'm sorry I was so callous." Ben brought Luke's head against his chest, cradling him tenderly. "Please don't give up on me, ever! Don't hate me! Please!"
Luke grabbed Ben in a hug tight enough to make a Wookiee wince. "Never!"
Ben returned the embrace equally. "Forgive me, Dad?"
Luke nodded against Ben's shoulder. "Always."
Mara swallowed the emotion choking her, watching as father and son held the desperate embrace for far longer than she'd expected. When they pulled apart, Ben spoke again.
"I… I went through your black box, Dad. I found… a lot of things, including a new respect for you."
Luke offered a watery smile, wiping Ben's tears away gently. "I'm glad you did. I had been wanting to share my memories with you for quite some time now."
Ben's relief was palpable. "I was afraid you'd be mad."
"At what?"
Ben frowned. "For me snooping through your stuff."
Luke nodded in understanding.
"But," Ben added. "I think it was the Force that led me to find it."
With a proud smile, Luke placed a hand on Ben's shoulder. "Then you did the right thing."
"And Dad?" Ben paused.
"Hm?"
"I understand a lot better now." Ben murmured. "Why you are so careful of the Darkness. But please don't beat yourself up over what happened in your past."
Luke swallowed hard, his cheeks burning in embarrassment that he'd lost it so thoroughly. "I won't, with your help." He eyed Mara lovingly. "And your mother's."
Ben turned to her with a smile, and he drew her into an embrace which Luke soon joined.
"I couldn't ask for better parents," Ben affirmed. "And I am proud to be your son."