Chapter Four: He's Proud of Me

"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets."

― Voltaire

"I am not proud, but I am happy; and happiness blinds, I think, more than pride."

― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

I woke up the next day with a roaring headache. It seems like I got absolutely no sleep. Maybe it was my because of my inner turmoil or maybe it was because I hadn't eaten anything all day yesterday, but I felt horrible. I got out of my bed, wearing nothing but some shorts and a large red t-shirt. Opening my door and going down the hall to the bathroom, I flicked the light on. It was probably five o'clock and my eyes had yet adjust to the light around me. With my eyes half closed, I turn the water to the shower on.

Turning to look at myself in the mirror, I can see the stress from last night still lining my face. Although not extremely noticeable, there are bags under my eyes. My green eyes seem dull and my complexion is slightly pasty. I frown as I think of how one night of bad sleep already had me looking like I was half dead. Maybe it was the stress from attending school. Surely, the rumors had gotten to me, no matter how much I buried them.

I give my reflection a sad smile and then go on with my morning routine. Kou had said that if I was to meet with Kasanoda, I would have to wear a kimono. I really didn't care, as long as I could still shoot a gun or kick someone's face, I would be fine. I walked out of the shower with a towel wrapped around me and headed back to my room quickly. Closing the door and smiling because I actually got there without someone seeing me, I turn to my bed.

"Kou!" I squeal. The boy is sitting on my now made bed, completely dressed in black yakuza and perfect blue hair.

"You're late. We're five minutes behind schedule and I have to get you into your kimono," he says almost lazily. I stare at him in disbelief and clutch the towel tighter to my body.

"What are you doing?" I ask striding towards him. I hold my towel in one hand and grab his ear with the other. He starts to whimper as I drag him up from the bed and throw him out my bedroom door.

"I have to help you dress!" he whines as I stand at the door.

"Let me get some underwear on and figure out where to put my artillery at least. My gosh, sometimes I think you don't have any hormones at all," I scream at him. I can feel the syndicate start to wake up and the birds chirping happily.

"Well, I don't think I do," he mutters, as the door almost closes. I stop the door's progress and then look at him.

"What?" I ask him. He looks at me with a straight face and I realize it now. The boy wasn't the rage of hormones he should be at his age. I'm only a couple of years older than him, but he doesn't look at me any differently than a mother. He never expresses any sexual tension with me.

"I don't feel sexual attractions," he tells me quietly. I can feel my eyes grow soft and I look at him with a kind look. People probably don't understand him. Being different from the norm is hard and I'm not one to let him feel badly about who he is. I have anxiety and panic attacks and he accepts me. Besides, there is nothing wrong with him. I smile at him when I realize I was just staring at him for quite a long time.

"That's perfectly fine Kou," I tell him in a kind tone. The worry which entered his eyes, seems to fade and he gives me a wide smile. He tries to open the door and I laugh at him. "Just because you don't find me stimulating doesn't mean I want you to see me naked. Let me get some underwear on and I'll call you when I'm ready."

"But Susan-sama," he whines as I close the door in his face, cutting off the rest of statement. I laugh as I hear him bang his head against the door. I go get ready and put on my underwear. After that's done, I take out my holsters and lay them on the bed. I get my ankle, thigh, and double shoulder holster. I put the ankle on the inside of my left leg and thigh on my right leg. Securing them, I walk and open my closet. Moving my bagged dresses aside, I find my weapons in an alcove. I stare at my options for a long time before finally choosing.

I take out Harry who's a Smith and Wesson Model 29 .44 Magnum revolver. Harry will go in my left shoulder. He's my favorite weapon, even though he has a bad kick. Next I take out Sally who's a Sig Sauer P229 9mm. I place Sally in my thigh and make sure the safety is on. I grab my Fixation Bowie and place the foot long combat knife in my ankle holster. Next I grab my BC-41-a knuckle buster with a dagger attached-and take him and Harry to my bed.

"Kou, bring me my kimono. I have to adjust my holsters over it," I yell out. I can feel Kou come in and he holds a dark green kimono in his hands. It's beautiful and I notice the design of mountains and trees in a white at the bottom.

"Do you need any more weapons?" he asks looking to the gun and knife that lay on the bed and then to the large knife and gun on me already.

"I'm sorry, I thought you had said we were late," I say dryly. He snorts at my teasing expression and I can feel myself turn red with just being in my underwear in front of Kou. Sure he didn't really think of me that way, but that didn't make me feel any less embarrassed.

Kou came to me and smiles childishly and I realized that he was like a big kid. He motions for me to turn and I do as I'm told. He slips on an undergarment kimono and then ties it in the back. Then getting the dark green kimono, he dresses me. It feels like it takes forever and when he's done, I sigh. Going to the bed, I put on my shoulder holster. The familiar leather is somehow comforting to me. Grabbing Harry, I put him on the left side of my shoulder holster and then place my dagger on the right. Kou then dresses me with a Haori a simple white color with green stitching.

"Now let me finish your hair," he says and then makes me sit on the bed.

He pulls my hair back and I can feel him make a bun. The many piercings in my ears stick out and I wonder if I should take any of them out. Thinking that it wouldn't matter all that much if another gangster sees them, I don't take them off. I check if my neck emblem is visible and know that it is. Kou then places a silver comb with our emblem through the bun and I can feel him sigh.

"What's wrong?" I ask him when he lets me get up. I smooth out my bangs and see him looking at me with a large grin.

"I'm a magic maker," he tells me. I start to open my mouth in protest as he skips away laughing at me.

"Hey, I'm not that bad," I yell at him, following him quickly. I notice that he actually cut slits on the side of the kimono so I could walk easier. I see him go into his room and wait for him to come out. He comes out with a black Haori with our emblem on the back embroidered in white.

"Ready?" he asks me and I can make out the slight bulge in his side. He must be using a shoulder holster. I nod to him and then sees he hands me sewed green flats. I take them and put them on, minding my blade at my ankle.

"Let's get this over with," I tell him with a large smile. We walk to the front of the main house and find Fu, Hideo and Aiko there. All of my bodyguards wore the same black yakuza and black Haori with our emblem. They all have the familiar bulges with concealed weapons, but Hideo and Aiko have long katanas strapped to their left sides. They all nod to me and then we exit the house. As usual my syndicate members line the pathway, but the sun is high in the sky, the time only being 6 o'clock.

"May you return safely," they chant to me, already bowing. I stand and let them bow a little longer than normal. They have never seen me in such formal clothing and I wonder what they will think.

"Thank you. I will await your welcome when I return," I tell them with a tone of pure happiness. They all rise and when each of their eyes meet mine, I can see only approval and happiness. They smile at me and stare at my kimono. I smile back, happy that they're pleased with me. Fu disappears and I walk down the path with my seconds and my servant.

"Is Kasanoda expecting us?" I ask the twins. They give a 'hn' in reply and I can take that as a no. They didn't get a hold of him because they were too busy with Sendo-kai. Kou gives me a concerned look but I glare slightly at him and he calms himself.

I place a blank look on my face as the car finally comes around and Hideo opens the door. I get in and sit between Hideo and Aiko, Fu driving and Kou sitting shotgun. The car ride is filled with an anxious energy. The feeling isn't bad or even that negative, just curious. The ride to the Kasanoda-gumi syndicate takes some time, but before I know it, we're there. Fu drives up to a blue roofed Japanese style gate. On the side you can see the words, 'Kasanoda Syndicate', carved in wood. I play with my snake bites and then take a deep breath. Time for business.

I feel slightly anxious but I know my men are with me. I don't know if it's my bond with them that makes me feel better or if it's my sense of duty as boss. Taking another deep breath and closing my eyes, I let their strength wash over me. My anxiety is pushed down until I can no longer feel it. I open my eyes and know I'm in gangster mode. I won't have the anxiety or panic attacks I normally have. My persona is finished and change into the boss of Dojin-Kai.

Aiko, who sits at my right gets out and holds the door open for me. Kou is on the other side, lending his hand to me as I step out of the black town car. Immediately I walk up to the gates, feeling Hideo and Aiko at my sides and Kou at my back. Fu goes off to stay with the car. Going to open the door, I find that is it already creaking open and stand to the side. Out pops a young blond haired man with a broom in his hands and a bandage over his left cheek. His hair is long and his eyes are a golden color. He looks at me surprised and I look back at him with a blank face.

"Can I help you?" he says rather courageously. I can see him glance at Hideo and Aiko's katanas before looking back into my eyes. I smile sweetly and tilt my head gently.

"We're wondering if we could have an audience with your boss," I say softly with a voice of harmless girl. He stares at me surprised and I can feel his insecurity with my new approach.

"I can find out, but who are you exactly?" he asks, wary of me. He has good reason to be wary, I'm packing some heavy artillery.

"Yes, I'm Susan Crea, boss of Dojin-kai," I reply, my voice like knives now. The man looks at me with a steely look and he grips the broom tighter.

"Very well then, follow me," he says, leading us into the syndicate.

On the other side of the gate lays a traditional Japanese home. I can tell that the house that lays before us is the main house, but it is much larger than my own. It has a blue roof and a short walkway from the gate. The man then leads us past some members and I can feel them all tense with the sight of the twin's weapons. I grin and stare in front of me like they don't even matter. As a boss, I had to learn how to be arrogant and bone chilling. Most people never expect a young girl like me to be boss, so it scares them when I act like a coldblooded killer. Anyone acting like a coldblooded killer is scary actually.

The blond man took us into the house and we entered a living room and then turned to the left. He led us to what I would assume was the conference room and when we entered, he left to go get his boss. The room was simple and large. It had what looked like a dragon of black on white paper doors. At the top of the door read a sign saying, '80 years of chivalry'. I sighed and pondered sitting on one of the cushions at the table in the middle of the room. Before I got the chance to actually think about it, the door we entered, opened and in walked an older man.

"Hello," he says almost angrily. He looks at me and glares. I turn to face him fully and merely observe him in an almost bored fashion. He wore a dark blue yakuza and his hair was a graying dark brown. His eyes were a black, but were sharp in his old age. He had a small mustache on his lip that was slightly up as bared his teeth in an angry grin. I could tell that he has a gun under his yakuza and I wait with a blank look until he was done trying to intimidate me.

"Hello. I presume you are Kasanoda-san," I reply. I purposefully address him not in the most honorable honorific. He and I were technically on the same playing field, so I didn't have to act like I was below him. I watch as he comes around me, and could feel my men tense. The older man goes to the other side of the table and the blond man from earlier follows along with two other men dressed in black suits. The older man sits down and I follow in suit and sit also. Once we were seated, the rest of the men took their positions as guards and sit at our sides.

"Don't you think that three guards is a little much?" the older man asks with a smirk. He was trying to make me angry and I could feel myself want to snap at him. I keep my blank stare on and look to his men.

"If I did, then so did you," I reply blandly, looking back to him. I could see the smirk fall off from his face and I smirk in return. His face grows angry and I can tell that he has one hell of a short fuse.

"What do you want?" he hisses at me. I keep the smirk on me and then cock my head to the side.

"What no pleasantries? I thought the Japanese were supposed to be all about manners?" I ask cockily. The man looks like he's going to jump across the small table and choke me.

"I'm sorry," he says through grit teeth, "how has your day been?"

"It's been very nice so far. I hope that your day has been going well, Kasanoda-san," I reply cheekily. I can feel his bodyguards grow angry with my response. My own men in turn smirk. The older man looks at me with a death glare that would put the President in his place. I merely smile at him and await his next move.

"What are you here for Crea-san?" he replies.

"I'm here to ask for a truce."

"Why?"

"I'm new and can't afford to have two syndicates after me at the same time," I reply honestly. The glare falters for a second and what peeked through was a confused look.

"Are you planning on having a war with Sendo-kai?" he asks. He looks at me with an angry look now. He seems angry that I think I can handle them. The young blond man at the old man's side stiffens and looks to me expectantly. I glance at him and now know why he looks concerned. He's the heir. That's why he has the bandage on his cheek. Kou mentioned that he had his emblem on his face and the twins said he left for Kasanoda. I look to the blond and make my face into a creepy smile. He shudders and I turn back to the old man.

"Why are you asking? Were you planning on having a war with them yourself?"

"No."

"They you do not need to know my plans. All I need from you is a temporary truce."

"Dojin-kai has never asked for truces before," the old man mutters. Taking a side glance to Aiko, I see him look back at me. In his eyes is the trust after he gave me a piece of his finger. I turn back to the old man and see him watching me expectantly.

"Yes, but they also haven't been in Kanto before with a young American girl for a boss," I tell the old man with my blank face.

"What if I say no?" the old man asks me. I narrow my eyes and he involuntarily tenses at my slight anger. Before now it was all fun and games, but with this question he just got me too angry to control. I won't hold back anymore.

"Then that would be the wrong answer," I reply. He looks at me with a disgusted look and I go on and threaten him. "Your son attends Ouran, doesn't he? It would be a pity if something happened to him should I meet him on school grounds. I am a student there after all."

"You wouldn't—" he says, but gets cut off.

"And if that wouldn't be reason enough, I would make your syndicate burn to the ground. I am not Japanese. I do not fear losing my honor like the rest of the yakuza out there. I'm ruthless and won't hesitate to fight dirty if given the reason to. If I don't want to play with fire that day, we might play a little death match. I know that even you know of my reputation in those, so you make your decision now. Let us negotiate things and push the blood shed a little farther into the future or I swear I will make my move," I say to him darkly. My voice wasn't angry, merely full of warning and demand. The old man looks frightened but glares at me with harsh eyes.

"Very well then," he replies after a while. I look at him with a smirk and he glares back at me.

"No one is to step foot on my territory. In addition, my men will stay out of yours. We will not interfere with each other's business and we will not meet again until I revoke the truce. When that time comes, we'll see to our other terms as needed. If you violate these rules, the truce will be null and void and I will take measures to rectify the break. Do you understand me?"

"What if you were to break the truce?"

"Then you wouldn't need to worry about it," I reply while getting up. I smooth out my kimono and my men rise with me.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked angrily.

"If I chose to break a truce, then I would make sure that you wouldn't be around to come back at me. When I make truces, I keep my word. I never break them, and if I do, then you won't be around to rectify them," I reply darkly. The old man looks at me with a death glare and I turn my back on him. "I hope you have a good day Kasanoda-san. Our truce begins now."

"Fine," the old man says to my back and I smile largely.

My men follow me out as I lead us out of the house and onto the path outside. The syndicate members look at us with disgust and I smile darkly at them. They shrink away and I can hear the front door to the house open. Turning around, I see the blond man from before. He looks at me angrily and I can tell he wants to speak with me, but his boss already agreed to the truce. I raise my eyebrow and catch a flop of red hair behind the blond man as he closes the door. I turn back around and exit through the open gates. We go to the car and get in quietly, but when we're locked in, Fu opens his mouth.

"There's trouble in the south district. It seems like Sendo-kai has gotten a hold of some of our members and is holding them hostage in a warehouse," Fu says quietly. I can feel Hideo and Aiko's anxiety and I sigh.

"Take us home so we can drop off Susan-sama," Aiko tells Fu. I look at the man with a dirty look.

"I'm coming. I got all dressed up in my kimono and put on all my weapons. I can go with you. I just didn't look pretty for Kasanoda, Sendo-kai should see me all dolled up too," I tell him. He gives me a surprised look but it transforms into something of pride.

"Very well. Fu take us to the warehouse," he tells the bald driver. I smile and take the bun out of my hair. I replace it with a straight ponytail and put the comb in the side of my head.

"Why did you take out the bun? I worked really hard on that," Kou whines jovially. I stick my tongue out at him and hear Hideo and Aiko chuckle.

The ride to the warehouse wasn't so bad. The southern district is the one closest with Sendo Kai. Kasanoda laid to the east and took up a good portion of Kanto—around half of the entire region. Sendo-kai was a little larger than us, but it laid to the south and what most would call the ghetto. Surprisingly the warehouse wasn't in a bad area though. It was in a middle-class area, only a mile from a supermarket. We parked the car at the market and then walked the rest of the way, meeting up with the other men.

The sun was still high in the sky and it was probably only 8 o'clock in the familiar feeling of being followed hit me again when we rounded the corner of the last apartment building and were across from the warehouse. Having my men wait there, I tried to devise a plan when I could hear a set of footsteps come around the corner. They were light and by the sound of how fast they were running, was trying to catch up with something. Waiting for the person, I saw a young girl round the corner and immediately my stomach sunk.

"Susan-senpai?" the girl asks and I immediately recognize her as the feminine boy from the brothel. I could feel my stomach gather butterflies as I looked at her in a pale pink dress. She wore a clip in her hair and black tights and flats on her legs. I point my hand and look at her with a surprised face.

"You're a girl. I knew there was something fishy with you. You walked too much like a girl to be a boy," I say hysterically. Then I feel Aiko and Hideo come to my side and glare at the young girl whose name I never learned.

"Ah," the girl looks down at herself and then back at me. "Yah I am."

"Why are you here?" Hideo asks in a calm voice.

"Who are you?" Aiko says angrily. I almost waved them off, but I was wondering the same thing.

"I was following Susan-senpai because I wanted to make sure she was okay. My name is Haruhi Fujioka and I'm a first year at Ouran. We actually met yesterday," the girl—named Haruhi—says with a blunt effect. I look at her surprised and then feel Kou come to me.

"We need orders Susan-sama," he whispers into my ear and I realize we were still across from the warehouse. The hostages won't be held for much longer. I put myself back into gangster mode and turn to Kou.

"Take Haruhi home. Then go get the car and meet us in the back of this building," I order. Kou nods and then goes to Haruhi. He grabs her arm, but she tries to shake him off.

"What's going on here Senpai?" she asks me. I shake my head at her and then lift up my kimono to grab Sally from my thigh holster.

"You shouldn't have followed me. It's dangerous," I tell her removing the safety. "Kou will take care of you. I hope you live around here, because we'll need him back if things go wrong. Follow his instructions. If he says run, you run. If he says stay here, you stay there. You don't ask questions. Right now, you just so happened to stick your nose in something that you shouldn't have. But I'll get you out, just follow Kou."

"But—"

"What was that? You aren't supposed to ask questions," I tell the girl with a smirk. She frowns at me and I turn to Kou. "Be careful and hurry back."

"Of course," he replies with a smile. I nod to him and he takes Haruhi and disappears. I walk back to the group, Sally in hand. The men look a little nervous and I give them a reassuring smile.

"Alright, status report," I tell them. Fu immediately comes in front of me and the men look at him expectantly. The six foot bald man doesn't even blink.

"A group of forty Sendo-kai members dropped in on a drug trade we were doing with a large client. They attempted to take the drugs, but when our men retaliated they took them hostage and tried to torture information from them. At the moment there are at least ten men of our fifteen that are still alive. The warehouse is simple in structure and it doesn't appear that they have lookouts or snipers. None of our members have given them information yet," Fu said with a strong voice.

I nod and then look to the men. Including me, we have twenty men. Five have heavy artillery and four have sniper rifles. The others have a mix of handguns and katanas. If we use the roof and rafters to our advantage, we can have the snipers take care of our backs as the heavy artillery go in first. I look to the snipers and pair them up with some men with handguns. I breathe in deeply, closing my eyes and fiddling with my snake bites. With the calm that surrounds me, I open them and then give my men a reassuring smile.

"Alright, you with the sniper rifles are going to have our backs when we get in there. I want you four with handguns to go with them and make sure no one is on the roof or comes to take them out. Machine guns, you're going to enter before the rest of us. Be careful with them coming at you. When you see them coming after you, lead them out of the warehouse. My group will take care of the rest, while snipers take care of those inside."

"Hai," they all reply. I nod my head and the men look at me with utmost trust. My plan was solid, and the most minimal amount of casualties will result from it.

"Now, let's go get our men back. Everyone move out and be careful. I expect all of you to come home with me," I tell them in a stern voice.

They look at me one last time before we all run off to our positions. I stand behind the men with the machine guns and am surrounded my Hideo, Aiko and Fu. As much as I want to be a part of the gang, I'm the most important person. I'm boss and my bodyguards will always take care of me before fulfilling the mission. I hold Sally in my hand and wait to hear the screams of men. The rounds of snipers ring out into the quiet day. The machine guns open the doors and run it. They start firing and it's easier than shooting a barrel full of fish with a shotgun.

Soon after the men with the machine guns run out and get to the side of the doors where we're set up. The first man comes out and I can feel my men waiting for me to take the first shot. I point at him and then when he's about to turn, I pull the trigger. He immediately falls to the ground with a bullet between his eyes. The rest of the men follow for a while, but they catch on and I wave my hand for the machine gun men to take out the ones waiting on the other side of the door. A shot goes out and hits one of my men. I watch as he falls to the ground, but crawls to the side.

Angry, I step forward and shoot with the machine gun men. Bullets fly past me as I kill five people. Out of ammo, I step to the other side and grab Harry, replacing Sally in the holster. I cock the gun and step out again. The kick on this gun is worse and I empty my six rounds into another three people while walking across the opening back to where my bodyguards are. Reaching into my shoulder holster, I take Sally out and put Harry back. I take out a magazine from the right side of my holster and put the empty one back in. Just as I reload, the shooting stops. I rush in, knowing my snipers took care of all of them.

Just as I enter, a man steps out from behind a wooden beam and puts his hands up. I point Sally at him and watch as he comes in front of me. He's bloody, but only from his dead comrades. I size him up and can tell by his hands he's one of the interrogators. His knuckles are bruised and bloodied with my men's faces. I glance at the middle of the room and see fifteen of my men. Two I can tell are dead, three are wounded and the rest are alive. I sigh in relief and frustration and then glare at the enemy before me.

"Will you beg for your life?" I ask him with anger. The man looks at me with tears in his eyes.

"Of course. Please, spare me. I didn't mean any of this," he says crying out. He is pathetic and I glare even harder as he gets on his knees and comes towards me.

"Did my men beg you for their lives?" I ask him angrily. Hideo and Aiko come to my side and watch me. I watch as the man wails.

"Please, don't kill me," he chants. I take a step forward and see him stumble backwards. I'm only a couple of yards from him and I hiss.

"Did they beg you for their lives?" I roar. "It's a simple question with a yes or no answer."

"Yes," he screams out, "they did beg."

"Then what makes you any different from them? That's right. You're alive and they're dead. But we can fix that," I say angrily and pull the trigger. The man immediately blows back from the shot and I watch as blood pours out of the head wound.

"Susan-sama, what are your orders?" Hideo asks gently. I put my arm down and turn to the center of the room.

"Get the wounded into the car and take them to our doctor. I don't want to lose any more men. Send for enough cars for the rest of us and have them meet in different locations. The cops will be here soon and I don't think school would like it if I get a record."

"Very well," Hideo says and takes out his phone to make the arrangements. Aiko looks at me and nods. He then goes to the wounded at the center of the warehouse and I turn back to the man I killed in cold blood. He was begging for his life and still I killed him. But I've done this long enough that I don't feel regret anymore. He killed members of my family and I had to kill him. He didn't spare my men.

I feel a hand come to my shoulder and see Fu looking at me with proud eyes. I smile a sad smile at him and he opens his mouth.

"I'm proud to be under your command," he tells me and then walks away. My heart swells with happiness and I follow after him.

Okay, this chappie is a little earlier than I expected. I was going to make you guys wait until the weekend, but I forgot about that. Oh, and Merry belated Christmas, late Hanukkah, and on-time Kwanza. I hope everyone had a good time. Mine was a little bit of a downer, but hey, that's life. If you have any questions, leave a comment. Back to the story: Now the weapons Susan uses are all real. Sally is (I believe) the third most popular weapon in the United States, Harry is from the iconic movie Dirty Harry, the large knife is army grade and the dagger (I believe) is British and used during WWII. As for Kou, yes he is asexual. I know out there in the world, there are people who disapprove of things that are different. There are varying degrees of hate, but hate no less. I want to show that Susan is really accepting of everyone and my own views really parallel with hers. If you don't like Kou's gender, leave me a comment saying why or if you love that I'm including diversity, leave me a comment. I'll try to make him as accurate as possible, but if you have problems, leave me a comment. The point: comment what you think.

So, now that that memoir is over: follow, fave, review, or/and obsess. Love you guys and thanks for everything.

(I do not own Ouran High School Host Club)