Chapter 4: Hehe… oops?
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The next day there were some strange rumors going around about exactly what had happened at the library, many of which said that the whole thing had all been planned out by Haruhi, and so at lunch I was quickly questioned by Taniguchi, I'm still not quite sure why he insists on asking all these questions all the time, does he really not have anything better to do?
"So what's Suzumiya up to this time?"
How the hell should I know, it's not like I can actually understand her or anything.
"Come on, everyone knows that she drags you around all the time, why don't you just admit that the two of you are an item?"
That is wrong on so many levels, first of which would be that – although it is technically possible to predict her every now and then, and so there must be some sort of reason in her – Haruhi is absolutely and utterly insane.
"Stop trying to fool us by lying and hurry up and give us all of the juicy bits!"
Taniguchi… you're an idiot. Just because she happens to drag me around doesn't mean that we're dating. Hell, I wish you could experience being dragged around school by an overly energetic girl, let's see how you'd like it.
Taniguchi grumbles a bit at the remark, although I don't think I've managed to convince him, at least he's being reasonably quiet for now, but he's interrupted in his mumblings as the classroom door suddenly bursts open.
Normally such an event would be followed by Haruhi making a grand appearance, but this time she was still nowhere to be seen. Instead, as I turned around to face the door, I'm greeted by Tsuruya's ear-to-ear grin. She spots us and walks over, still grinning widely.
"Taniguchi!" I blink, Kunikida just looks on with a shocked expression, apparently he's just as shocked as I am. But the one who beats the both of us with an expression of complete and utter confusion, shock and other similar emotions, is Taniguchi himself. Clearly, he wasn't expecting this.
"Tsu-… Tsuruya…?" he was interrupted before he could finish whatever sentence he was trying to string together, by Tsuruya grabbing him by the tie and beginning to drag him away.
It feels a little weird to observe something like this happening to someone else, I mean, does it really look that funny whenever Haruhi drags me around? Or is it just the fact that I'm happy that my wish just now was granted…
Wait… what…?
I turn towards the genie, he's almost always there, but since nobody other than me can see him, I'd say that you kind of get used to it after a while.
Did I just make that happen?
"Yup!" he nods enthusiastically for extra emphasis, clearly enjoying his job, perhaps a little too much.
And here comes the feelings of guilt. Bummer, I really wanted to enjoy this to the fullest.
I sigh, but my depressed feeling is suddenly interrupted when I hear something outside in the corridor, and as I turn to watch, I realize that I'm pretty lucky to be dragged around by Haruhi. At least I know that she won't use me as some sort of mace in order to ward off other pedestrians.
You know, I think I can learn to live with this level of guilt. In fact, if this moment is anything to judge by, I think I'll be able to enjoy it quite a bit.
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The Taniguchi incident, however pleasant, reminded me that it might not be a good idea to have a genie hanging around you all the time.
So, after a Brigade meeting in which Haruhi declared several penalties on me for being unable to create a mystery, I did try to tell her about the incident of the human mace, but it was rejected since Tsuruya's an honoree Brigade member and we couldn't very well start investigating the Brigade itself. Oh the irony of that statement.
Of course, Koizumi, who had also been unable to create any sort of mystery, was declared free of charge due to a promise of more murder mysteries in the future. Damn favoritism. On that note, do I really need to mention that Haruhi never created a mystery of her own? Although I must admit that I'm actually glad for that respite, however small it may be.
Anyway, I decided to find some way to get rid off the genie without anyone ever catching wind of him again. You see, the whole 'hiding from Haruhi' wish was only effective for as long as I was his master. I wasn't allowed to tell him to stop being a genie, since that was the only way he could make an honest living. Don't ask, I'm just repeating what he told me.
It took me several hours of neglecting seemingly endless classes, but I was finally able to think of a way for both of us to be happy.
I wish that you'll never meet Haruhi, or anyone related to her, again, no matter what your other masters might wish. That was my third wish genie, good luck.
"Goodbye and take care, Kyon," the genie made a deep bow and then disappeared in a cloud of sparks, still smiling happily.
Well, that was unusual. Usually stuff like this turn out badly for me, but this time I've yet to suffer a single repercussion, except for that one time when I'd ended up flying, Haruhi however, hadn't been involved in it so it doesn't actually count.
"Kyon! Stop lollygagging and get your butt over here!"
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted I guess.
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A/n: Lollygagging is an awesome word. Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed this.