Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban
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4. Memories of a prisoner part 2
~Flashback ~
"Exactly and that's why Lily and I chose you! Don't argue we made our decision!! Lily is already packing out things. We'll meet at up seven at my place and then hit the road together from there. Got that?" there it is again this gleam in James eyes…
…I hate it when James does that to me, he knows exactly that I can't object if he looks at me like that…
"Yes all clear I'll be there. You can rely on me James!" I say resigned.
~Relocation ~
It is seven o'clock and Peter and I stand in front of James front door.
I explained everything to Peter and persuaded him to be the Secret-Keeper.
Time flies they say and that is definitely true this day passed way too fast!
The whole time I was thinking about it… was it really such a good idea of James to make me their Secret-Keeper?
I would never betray him but it would be too obvious!
Everybody knows that I'm James best friend, his best man and Harry's godfather.
It would just be too obvious!
I reflected about it… who other than me would make a good Secret-Keeper?
And most of all who could we trust enough?
Namely Remus and Peter.
But Remus has been acting strange lately, he has been underway too often mostly at night and he never tells us what he was up to. That's not like him at all, why does he make such a secret out of what he does?
If it had something to do with the Order he could tell us we are part of it as well after all!
It seems he is withdrawing further and further…
… no I don't think Remus is the right one.
Now Peter… he acts as he always does though lately he seems to be even more nervous than usual but that's certainly because the situation is so tense.
Peter would never dare to betray us. He is too sacred of how we would get back at him!
He is an Animagus as well and certainly could hide like this for a long time… Peter could do it.
He is too much of a coward to rat us out!
That's why I set out for Peter's to tell him about my thoughts.
At first he naturally seemed intimidated and by no means wanted to take over… but I've always known how to get Peter to do exactly what I wanted.
A nasty smirk graces my lips at that thought. He is so easy to manipulate!!!
James opens the front door and looks at me dumbfounded.
"Hi Sirius, …Peter? …. Um Sirius could I speak with you for a moment?" James looks utterly baffled.
I simply nod and James beckons Peter to wait in the house with Lily. We are alone but James waves some spells for safety's sake anyway.
"What's the meaning of this Padfoot?? What's Peter doing here?" James does look quite angry now after all.
"Listen James, I've been thinking if I am the right one to do this the whole day and I concluded that I am not! WAIT before you get all worked up hear me out, okay?" I try to mollify James somewhat. Finally he nods and motions for me to go on.
"Okay right, listen, everyone knows how close we are or do you want to deny that?
No? Good!
Therefore it would be way to obvious that it's me, don't you think? I mean if it gets out that you are protected by the Fidelius Charm everyone will immediately think I am the Secret-Keeper!
So I thought about who would be less obvious but still trustworthy?" James calmed down while I spoke and listened attentively but now he looks slightly disbelieving at me.
"And you think of Peter first? What about Remus?" James seems to be confused and I can't blame him.
"Remus has been acting strange lately. We talked about it many times, don't you remember?" James nods his agreement he seems to mentally run-through our talks about Remus once again before he once again nods his approval.
"Alright I understand that. Remus truly does exclude us too much lately and it seems as though he wants to hide something but Peter? You can't be serious! How did you imagine this to work, Padfoot?" he doesn't seem so sceptical anymore.
"When it comes out that you are protected by the Fidelius Charm everyone will look for me and Peter has nothing to fear. Because as you said before, they will only find me if I want them to and only you and I know about the swap, and Peter of course.
Peter is an Animagus as well and can easily and unrecognized hide for a long this way.
Voldemort will never guess that it is Peter!
He is far too weak and untalented… you know how outsiders perceive him. And that is exactly why Voldemort would first think about me and then Remus, do you know what I mean James?"
For a little while there is a gloomy silence between us. I know that James deliberates everything.
He constantly paces up and down the road.
But finally he stops and looks at me determinedly "Alright, if you think it is safer this way we will do it. But I still want you to know where we are!" James looks deep into my eyes. There is such a steely determination that I know at once that James fully trusts me and most likely only therefore accepts the swap.
"Listen Sirius, I know that you realize that you have to keep it secret but I have to say it anyway. You MUST NOT tell anyone where we are!!!!
Other than you only Dumbledore and Peter will know… we will live in Godric's Hollow.
You know where that is right? I want you to keep me current on what is going on with Voldemort and the Order, you hear?"
"Sure I'll do that. I will somehow manage to smuggle myself to you guys."
Godric's Hollow … wow but that is really good!
Only a few chosen people around Dumbledore know it's correct location. And with the Fidelius Charm… this is the perfect place!
"I will tell Peter to give you a note with the directions. You better burn it after you read it!"
Lily approaches us with Harry on her arm, Peter hot on her heels with the family's luggage.
"Hey Sirius, good that you finally made it we were waiting for you, didn't we Harry?" she says with her dulcet voice which betrays her nervousness to me anyway.
The little one is looking at me with his emerald green eyes; an innocent smile graces his lips. I take Harry from Lily and at once tousle his hair.
"Hey there little one, did you miss uncle Padfoot?" Harry looks at me through big eyes and gurgles happily as I tickle him.
James disappeared with Lily. He probably tries to explain the change of plan to her.
Harry is really cute he looks so much like James… it is unbelievable. But his eyes are Lily's… I have to admit that they make him even more irresistible than James already is.
The Hogwarts girls will swoon over him no doubt. Ah James and Lily returned. Lily takes Harry from me wordlessly… she doesn't seem to be too happy.
I lay an arm around her shoulder and pull her and Harry against me once again to say goodbye. But Lily instantly turns away from me… man but she seems to be very angry!
I give James a brotherly hug and clap him reassuringly on his back. "Lily is really angry with my, isn't she?" I whisper to James.
He only nods lightly and lastly whispers, "yes she thinks you want to shrink out of the responsibility!" James stance towards me tells me that he knows that that is not the case.
Lily turns back to us and without a word she makes clear that she thinks that it's time for them to leave.
"All right then we will be on our way, see you at Remus'?" James reckons haltingly.
"No Prongs, I think you should stay will Lily and Harry. Peter if you want to meet up with us we will be in the Forbidden Forest. Good Luck!", I say slightly wistful all too willingly I would like to accompany them but that is impossible.
I should already be with Moony.
I wave at them once again but they already disappeared, they vanished into thin air.
~End Flashback ~
A burning pain runs through my body. It rips me out of my trance.
My whole body hurts and this coldness… it will kill me eventually.
The Dementors did a throughout job on me this time.
I feel unsteady and the burning sensation in my throat tells me that I must have thrown up.
I can't remember it…
What happened?
I try to sit up but a shooting pain in my temples makes me cringe and descend to the floor once again.
I open my eyes slightly to find out where I am but I can't see anything.
Can it be that it is still night?
That is rather unlikely; it should already be broad daylight…
…or it is already night again.
What happened to me?
I can't remember anything… but I have to try…
…there were Dementors, many Dementors but that is nothing special… but when they approached me… what happened?
There was this pain, this sting in my heart, I fainted…
…I saw something…
I saw something from my past… I saw the day I made the worst mistake of my life!!
Lily was probably right maybe I wanted to shrink responsibility?
Maybe I was too cowardly to shoulder the responsibility for three lives?
I just wanted to protect them!
I thought my plan was perfect but I missed something very important!
I knew that Peter was a damned rat that liked to make powerful friends and have them protect him.
I knew that Peter was a coward that preferred to hole up instead of fight. Which would have been perfect for us after all he was supposed to hide out.
And that is exactly where the error lies that I missed!!
That maybe I didn't want to see!?
Peter chooses his friends with caution exactly because he was such a coward.
I didn't think about that.
Had I thought about that I would have probably realized that Peter was the perfect victim for Voldemort!
This rat thought his life was more important than James' or anyone else!
Voldemort just had to fetch him!
Peter would have done anything for him just to make sure he wasn't killed.
I am sure that when forced to make a choice Peter didn't hesitate for even a second to join the Dark Lords ranks!
Why I wonder do I realize that only now?
Why did I mistrust Remus like that?
How did I get the crazy idea that he could be the spy if he was constantly underway?
The mole would have needed to stay close to us to spy out our secrets after all, or not?
DAMN IT WHY WAS I SO BLIND???
I realized that it is getting light around me and slightly open my eyes.
I see the first delicate rays of sunlight though my window.
The sun rises, a new day in this hell dawns.
With a bunch of new questions that will keep me busy for a long time.
That way I at least have something to do until Minister Fudge comes to visit me again.
I will naturally see to it that he leaves this cell in puzzlement and fear, as always!
A devilish smirk plays about my lips at the thought of Fudge's stupid face when he realizes once again that I am fine… at least mentally!
And even more satisfying thought than Fudges mien reaches me…
… at least that lousy rat is dead!!!
….
That's it next part Sirius gets a nice visit for his favourite Minister of Magic and the two of them will have a nice chat… you'll see ^_~
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~Raion