Disclaimer: I don' own Hetalia.
Things France isn't allowed to do:
1. I'm not allowed to tell any sort of jokes around the younger nations.
-I'm bad influence and will be hit.
2. I'm not allowed to say that all the Middle East nations are related to Sadiq.
-Because they're not.
3. I'm not allowed to give Korea any advices on what type of flowers China prefers.
4. I'm not allowed to help Korea at all.
5. I'm not allowed to say "Oh, how the mighty have fallen" every time Turkey passes me by.
-Because he may try to retake the Balkans.
-They will send Russia after him.
-Putting anyone in a situation in which they are hunted down by Russia is just cruel.
6. I'm not allowed to go anywhere near cats.
7. I'm not allowed to say why I can't go near cats.
-Even if I consider the story amusing, Greece still has nightmares.
8. I'm not allowed to put sugar in England's tea.
-Especially if the sugar is mixed with something else.
9. I'm not allowed to say that Serbia is starting a war against Russia.
-Because no one will believe me.
10. I'm not allowed to say that the Balkan nations are Russia's secret fan club.
-Because they aren't.
-Because Russia may actually believe me and chaise after them.
-Putting anyone in a situation in which they are Russia's love interest is not good for their health.
-But the photos will be worth it.
-I'm still not allowed to do it.
I'm not allowed to say that the Baltics had agreed to wear bunny suits just for Russia.
-That's a cruel thing to do.
11. I'm not allowed to tell America that Mexico wants to become one with him.
-Because he will believe me.
12. I'm not allowed to say anything about cats in front of America.
-He still has nightmares.
13. I'm not allowed to sing any nursery rimes around America.
- He will get angry and give me to Bulgaria for research.
14. I'm not allowed to make England dress up as a policeman and then molest him.
15. I'm not allowed to molest England at all.
-...I hate you.
16. I'm allowed to molest Prussia as much as I want.
-...I still hate you.
17. I'm not allowed to say that Spain is a pedophile.
-Even if Romano agrees with me.
18. I'm not allowed to help Romano avenge Rome by sending him with a grenade against Germany.
-It didn't work anyway.
19. I'm not allowed to go to the theater in any country but my own.
-Or the cinema.
20. I'm not allowed to say why I'm not allowed to do 19.
21. I'm not allowed to spy on Hungary while she's bathing.
-It will backfire.
22. I'm not allowed to tell Romania that Hungary has dated all her neighbors.
-Because it isn't true.
-Because it will cause another "Who can get more male Slavs for a week" contest.
-Lucky assholes.
23. I'm not allowed to make myself a hat out of Gilbert's Gilbirds.
24. I'm not allowed to say "Problems in paradise" every time I spot Bulgaria and Turkey yelling at each other.
-They are never amused by what I say.
-They will hit me.
-...but I still think that they are yelling at each other just because they can't get together.
25. I'm not allowed to put bunny ears on Bulgaria, chain him and then send him to Turkey.
-Even if Turkey likes it.
-Bulgaria will skin me alive.
26. I'm not allowed to make a kiss the new entrance currency for a meeting.
27. I'm not allowed to give Denmark ideas at all.
28. I'm not allowed to give any trap manuals to Iraq.
29. I'm not allowed to go 20 km near Kosovo.
-He has a restriction order.
30. I'm not allowed to tell any Baltic jokes.
-It will hurt their feelings.
-Russia will hurt me.
31. I'm not allowed to say that the Africa nations are a product of Spain and England having fun.
-I will be brutally beaten by both Spain and England.
-Its not true.
32. I'm not allowed to adopt the African nations.
-They don't deserve such a cruel fate.
- I'm bad influence and will be hit.
33. I'm not allowed to go near the African nations at all.
-Then where am I supposed to go?
34. I'm not allowed to say that the Balkans are good neighbors.
-Because that's a lie, every time one of them becomes a little stronger the other Balkans gang up against him/her.
35. I'm not allowed to lie.
-...Try and stop me.
36. I'm not allowed to set traps around the world meeting room.
-The meetings are important and I shouldn't treat them like a fairytale.
-Even if the fairytales have some good plans for catching nations.
37. I'm not allowed to help Russia gain world domination.
-The world is not one big joke and creating a secret organization with a leader (Russia), mad scientist (Bulgaria) and their official speaker (Me) is not amusing.
-Even thou it has a chance of success...maybe I should find a loophole for this rule?
38. I'm not allowed to find a loophole in the former rule.
-...but I'm still gonna.
39. I'm not allowed to go to the zoo anymore.
40. I'm not allowed to go to Vatican City.
41. I'm not allowed to go anywhere near Palestine.
42. I'm not allowed to say jokes in front of animals.
-They have feelings too.
43. I'm not allowed to help Romano in building faster motorcycles.
44. I'm not allowed to switch the pilot with a monkey while the airplane is flying over an island with no civilization on it.
-The other nations know why I did it.
-They won't blame the monkey, they will attack me.
45. I'm not allowed to enter the restroom while there are other nations in it.
46. I'm not allowed to spy on other nations while they are in the restroom.
47. I'm not allowed to put up the argument that I could spy on them because the doors are made out of glass.
-Glass wasn't created to make the spying easier.
48. I'm not allowed to get myself pets.
-I'm bad influence and will be hit.
49. I'm not allowed to talk anyone into getting a pet for me.
-I'm bad influence and will be hit.
50. I'm not allowed to say that I watch you.
-But I'm doing just that.