Title: Chapter 3 – Ian's mantra

Warning: R, hinted sexual content

A/N: Company life.

Ian moans as the young man's lips and tongue caress his morning erection. Ian's fingers pull on the other man's hair, his hips thrusting into his mouth slowly. He tilts his head back, sinking more and more into his pillow. The man starts bobbing his head faster now, sucking and licking Ian's cock with more force than before, while his hand pumps Ian at the same time. Ian can hardly keep his hips from pushing in deeper, they simply move on their own. When he hits the back of the man's throat he shouts out loud while unloading himself into the man's mouth.

That's how every Monday morning looks like. After getting rid of his morning erection, Ian pays the young man whatever amount of money needs to be paid and escorts him to the front door. He has been fucking him the whole weekend long. It was hard letting him go Friday and Saturday evening. But he has set certain rules for himself and he has to stick to them. No fucking sleepovers on the weekends. Sunday is the only day of the week he lets someone sleep over. And only to suck him off at the start of a new week. He needs the nights for himself. That's when he works and is the most productive. He prepares presentations, looks through casting choices Ryan has picked out for him and writes scripts for the next week. And he also cherishes these hours alone, his only companion being a very sleepy dog.

Ian walks back to his bedroom and puts on some pants and a shirt. He wakes up Daisy and they both go out for a run. That's another thing about Ian. He is a runner. He eats healthy and does a lot of sports. That's why he has insisted on a company building with a fitness center so that he is able to work out when there is time to spare. His run takes about an hour, so that he is back at his place at 7 am. He prepares a bowl of food for Daisy and then takes a long hot shower. He lets the water pour down on him while brushing his teeth before soaping himself up and washing his hair.

When he is done with his cleaning procedure he steps out of the shower and wraps a huge towel around his waist. Usually he blow-dries his hair and styles it into a perfect bowl. He trims his beard with a pair of scissors, so that it doesn't get too long and doesn't look too messy.

He has never been a fan of suits. He may be the only CEO to wear jeans, shirts and leather jackets to work. He owns only clothes he feels comfortable wearing and he is not going to change his behavior because somebody doesn't like his style. Today he decides on dark denim jeans, a black v-neck shirt and – this a standby-item, an item he is not going to change anytime soon – his dark blue leather jacket. He doesn't care about the heat in LA. These clothes look too awesome on him.

Dressed up he is almost ready to go to work. Almost. He enters the kitchen and switches on the coffee maker. That's the only breakfast he is having. Coffee. Milk. One tea spoon of agave sirup. He's not really a breakfast person. Rather a lunch or dinner person. He doesn't want to admit it, but it makes him sad and depressed thinking about preparing pancakes only for himself. Solo breakfast. No, thank you. He's not drinking his coffee at home, though. He pours it into a thermo-cup, says goodbye to Daisy and leaves the house to get into his car.

His work car is the black BMW. He has another two cars standing in his garage for everyday use. A yellow HYUNDAI Juke and a blue BMW convertible 2 series. He is very fond of his cars. He loves them showing off. By doing that he wants to make clear to everybody that he is the boss. However, it's just a sham. Of course, he rages hardcore when something doesn't go the way he has planned, and of course, he gets angry at his employees for screwing up things, and of course, he is the CEO of his own company and calls all the shots. He plays the tough and hard boss for a good reason. So that people do what he wants without questioning his decisions.

There are some people, though, who look through that. Not many people. Only very, very close friends. Courtney is one of them. She is basically the only one. She always knows what he is thinking, why he acts in a certain way. She knows when he is really angry (not hard to guess), really happy (which is on some rare occasions) and really sad (which has happened once so far). And she knows he is faking it. Ian is kind of not happy about that but he can't do nothing about it. Courtney is his closest friend since they were kids. She gets him. She likes him despite all his flaws. He considers her family. He has never told her that.

"Courtney! Where is my schedule for this week?", Ian yells out.

"Check your mails!", she yells back, not bothering going into his office.

"I did! There is nothing here!"

"Check again!"

Ian groans. He clicks the little envelope symbol for the millionth time. Nothing. As in – nothing at all. No internet connection.

"Oh, what the fuckin' FUCK?"

That is the moment Courtney actually gets up from her desk and enters the office.

"What is it?"

"No internet!", he shouts and points to his screen. "That's why I haven't gotten any mails today. Can you get someone to fix this?"

Whiny voice. Whiny Ian is the worst. Courtney sighs, but keeps a smile on her face.

"Sure. I'll call Anthony.", she says, taking out her phone and types a message.

"Anthony? Why...why… would you call him?", Ian asks, suddenly stuttering and getting nervous.

"Cause he… like… studied computer science? Duh?"

She keeps on typing until suddenly a smirk appears on her lips.

"Wait a minute! Do you have a thing for him?"

Ian blushes slightly. He never blushes. Ever. He gets up from his office chair and walks over to the window, turning away from Courtney and looking outside.

"Yeah, right. Like I would have "a thing" for some random, weak-ass pussy." He chuckles. Not believable at all.

"Oh, come on. You can't lie to me, you know that. There is something about him that you like."

"Maybe as a fuck-interest. I would sure love to have him under me, if you know what I mean." Ian looks over his shoulder, wiggling his eyebrows.

Courtney approaches him quickly and looks him straight in the eyes, a serious expression on her face.

"Ian, I will say this only once. Don't fuck him up. He's a really nice guy, and he's doing a great job so far. Don't make him quit, okay?" Pause. "Knowing you, you will fuck him once, he is heartbroken over the fact that he was just a simple fuck and will leave the company. Do you want that? Do you want another round of job interviews?"

Ian cringes in disgust.

"No."

"So, I take it you understand what I've just explained to you?"

"Yes, Mom."

They both turn around when they hear a soft knock at the door. Anthony is standing in the door frame, holding a laptop.

"Did you ask for me?"

"Yes, Anthony, come in.", Courtney replies friendly. "Ian needs a hand with his computer. Would you mind taking a look at that?"

"Oh, sure, I can do that."

Courtney smiles and leaves the office, closing the door behind her.

"So… where's the problem?"

"No internet connection.", Ian says and they both walk over to his computer.

Anthony sits down, sets up his own laptop and starts clicking here and there, opening windows, typing in commands.

"Done.", he announces after a few minutes. "See? You've got mail."

Ian takes a look at the screen and notices that Anthony has send him five mails already.

"Somebody has been busy this morning."

"Oh, yeah. I figured I'd make a good first impression. This is the schedule for the next few days, casting choices, scripts to look through, a new CGI software I would like you to take a look at- "

"Why? The one we have is pretty good."

"Not really, no. Trust me on that one. Just have your animation department have a look at that. They will be thrilled. Also, I have sent you information on new camera equipment. The cinematography department came up to me this morning and-"

"Wait, what? Why don't they come to me?", Ian interrupts him.

"Uhm…They assumed you were busy and since I am your new personal assistant they figured they'd talk to me. And I would let you know about their problems."

Ian squints his eyes. He is not sure he wants to believe that but he lets it go for now. Anthony has been working hard already. It's his first day and Ian is already very impressed. He checks his watch.

"Dude… It's barely past noon. When did you get here?"

"Seven. Since you were of the opinion that I couldn't handle the job and the stress that came with it, I thought I'd arrive a little early. And impress you with my skills.", Anthony answers and grins.

This isn't the stuttering and weak person from Friday, Ian notices. Something has changed.

"Why are you so cocky all of a sudden? Why couldn't you show some of that part of your personality during the interview?", Ian asks, shooing him off his chair and sitting down.

"Uhm… I don't know. I was a little bit nervous I guess. I haven't worked at such a big-ass company before. And your secretary, Courtney, called me up on Saturday to explain the basic things I needed to know before I could start. She was really nice. This kind of made me feel better."

"Courtney, huh?" Ian runs a hand through his hair. There is a little awkward pause.

"Okay, so I'll head back to my-"

"You wanna get some lunch?", Ian interrupts him suddenly.

Anthony shakes his head.

"No, thank you. I brought my own food. I'm gonna eat at my desk."

"The fuck you will." Ian stands up and pushes Anthony towards the door. "I own this building. I made sure they included a cafeteria which serves the best food in town."

"But I don't… I didn't bring any money-", Anthony objects, but Ian has already shoved him inside the elevator."

"You don't need money. You have your ATLANTIS ID card, right?"

Anthony nods.

"Every ATLANTIS employee gets his food for free. You don't have to pay for your lunch here, Anthony. The company does that."

They arrive at the cafeteria. Anthony picks pasta with vegetables and Ian decides on two vegan sandwiches. They take their seats at a table and eat their food in silence until Anthony notices something unsettling.

"Ian… Why are people staring at us?"

Ian puts down his sandwich and looks around. They seem to be the center of attention at the moment. Ian knows exactly why. Usually, he gets two sandwiches and picks a table at the far back of the cafeteria. He eats alone. Always. He loves the peace and quiet. Everybody knows that.

"I don't know. Just ignore them."

They continue eating.

"They seem to be quite… intimidated by your presence.", Anthony says after having finished his pasta.

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"You like that?"

"It comes with the job. Otherwise no one's gonna do what you want them to do. That's the beginning of chaos. And chaos means failure."

"You don't like chaos?"

"Not really, no. Do you?"

"Sometimes. Chaos also can mean hard work, or pure bliss, happiness, or … love. Love can be very chaotic, but it's also beautiful at the same time."

"Oh, you're one of those guys." Ian hasn't noticed the scorn and disgust in his voice. It's a reflex. Someone mentions love or relationships, and he wants to vomit.

"What is that supposed to mean?", Anthony asks offended.

"A believer. A hopeless romantic. A love-can-conquer-everything guy."

"Yeah, so what's wrong with that?"

Anthony's friendly brown eyes are hard and show hints of anger. Ian is hit by sudden guilt.

"I'm sorry… I didn't want to… offend you or anything. It's just… I'm not that kind of guy."

Anthony wants to ask another question when they are joined by someone else.

"Ian? Can I talk to you for a moment?", Ryan asks in a low voice, standing next to Ian.

"What do you want?", Ian asks back without looking up.

"I… I'm leaving today. I picked up the last of my stuff today. I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Fine. Bye then."

Ryan chuckles.

"You are unbelievable. I thought we were friends, and that you would be happy for me, but I guess I was wrong. You are just a selfish little prick."

That insult makes Ian rise from his chair slowly.

"What did you just call me?"

"Selfish. You've always been selfish, and I don't blame you. It's just who you are. But after three years of working here, I thought we became somewhat close. Oh, that's right… I was wrong. Ian Hecox doesn't become close with anybody."

"Ryan… I'm warning you. Walk away. Now.", Ian says very slowly, his voice trembling with rage.

"Look around you, Ian. You are alone. You pushed away everybody. You only think of yourself and what is best for the company. You have no friends. No family. You are alone! You won't let anyone near you! No wonder David left you-"

That's when Ian's fist collides with Ryan's face. Fast, hard and without mercy. Ryan tumbles backwards. Ian approaches him making Ryan flinch. He's very close to his face now, his voice calm, low, but dangerous.

"Get the fuck out of my building."

Ryan presses a hand to his bleeding lip, turns around and leaves the cafeteria quickly.

"Show is over!", Ian shouts, sits back down again and continues eating his sandwich. His hand is hurting as hell but he doesn't let anybody see that.

Anthony has been watching the entire scene with an open mouth. It takes him a moment to come back to his senses and the present. He stares at Ian in disbelief.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Ian's voice is calm. Too calm. He doesn't seem bothered at all by the recent events.

"Your friend… He seemed upset…"

"He is not my friend. Well, not anymore." Ian's icy blue eyes stare into Anthony's brown ones. "Can we not talk about this? Tell me something more about that love-thing."

"Are you out of your FUCKING mind?"

Ian had it coming. Courtney's rage. She is pacing around his office in circles, her hands making wild gestures while she speaks. Ranting Courtney. Ian doesn't like that Courtney. But he has to deal with her now. Otherwise she won't shut up at all. One good Courtney rage and the subject will be forever off the table.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you do something STUPID like that?"

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again." Monotone voice. Not meaning it all.

"Oh, shut the FUCK up, Ian. You can keep your halfhearted apologies!"

Ian sinks down even more into the cushions of the couch.

"Of course, it won't happen again because Ryan has left! But I am pretty sure you will find someone else you can piss off equally!"

Ian stays silent.

"Oh, now you're not talking. Perfect, Ian, just perfect. You know, you ARE the CEO of this company, but there is an official board. And I cannot save your ass every single FUCKING time!"

"But you did, right?" Low voice. Hopeful.

"Of course, I did. Who do you think I am?" She stops walking and takes a deep breath. "I get why you did that."

"Really?"

"Yes. Ryan was your friend. And instead of just telling him that, and that you are going to miss him, you… knocked him out instead. Cause you-"

"-can't handle change, I know.", Ian ends Courtney's sentence. He's saying these words as if reciting a well-known mantra. Ian can't handle change. Ian can't handle change. Ian can't change.

Courtney nods and sits down next to him, laying a hand on his thigh, squeezing it gently in comfort.

"I know you were close. And don't give me some bullshit about how you weren't. Ryan was always there for you. He was your friend. Like it or not. You feel… like he is leaving your, right?" A small pause. "Like David did?"

"No, David was something else. David was… Let's not talk about him, okay?"

Ian crosses his arms over his chest, looking away.

"Okay. I'm sorry." She stands up again. "Go home, Ian. Take the rest of the day off. And tomorrow. Stay home. Rest. Calm down. We start filming the next video on Wednesday. I'll text you the address."

Ian nods.

"Okay."

Short answer. Good answer.

Back at home Ian goes straight to bed. Surprisingly enough he doesn't call for someone to suck him off today. He's not in the mood for company. Not even that sun-kissed guy with the black hair and slim body. Usually, he showers before going to bed. But not today. He wriggles out of his clothes and goes straight to bed, just wearing boxers. Daisy jumps onto his bed. Usually he doesn't allow that, but he'll make an exception tonight.

Today he won't turn nighttime into day. He needs to sleep. He needs to calm the fuck down. Too many things are changing and he cannot deal with it. Courtney is right. As always. He hates change. Change is a horrible thing. Change means chaos. And chaos means nothing good.