She was crying hard in the Opera cellars while she was walking along the secret road to Erik's home. She could barely see anything because of the tears constantly pouring from her eyes, blurring her vision. She was crying for both Erik and Raoul. How could Raoul, dear sweet Raoul, her soulmate, her childhood friend say such things to her? After all they had gone through and she would have needed emotional support from him in these hard times, it was exactly Raoul who stabbed her in the heart with his accusations and jealousy. How can someone be jealous of a dead person? A poor dead miserable creature... ?
Poor unhappy miserable Erik.
As she stepped in the drawing room she could see nothing as it was too dark. Thankfully she knew she only had to clap twice to turn the lights on. As the drawing room got lit in the sharp and dazzling electrical light, she couldn't notice anything special. Everything was in the same state as it was when she remembered back. Everything was all right. Maybe the piano had more dust on it, but other than that nothing changed.
She did not yet dare to search for… the body. Sure it was in the bedroom, laying in the coffin as she knew Erik wanted to go to sleep there, but she did not yet want to go in there. She bit her lips nervously and headed to the Louise- Philippe room. She wanted to check her old room, for one last time, before she went on about her business and left the house forever, and after go and live alone somewhere far away. She knew Raoul won't ever want her in his life, and she wasn't sure she wished to continue the relationship after those words. Maybe the Angel of Music… oh, it doesn't even exist! – Maybe Erik was right in a way. Maybe she really should not get married ever. She maybe should give her life to art.
Oh – it isn1t time to think about the future. It is foggy and utterly unsure. It scares her.
As she stepped in her room, she saw the bed beautifully made, everything was in perfect condition – except... except some blood on the floor near the wall. It was dried up already, maybe it was still her blood when she tried to kill herself. But – it can't be. She remembered back that Erik mopped up the blood from the floor after she was tied to the chair with cleaned up and bandaged wounds. He knelt there, mopping it up and angrily talking to her about "chosing the easy way out", calling her coward and selfish. His words were ringing in her ears like thunder.
"You - now are you satisfied, my darling? Eh? Am I really that hard to tolerate? You would rather kill yourself than spending time with your Erik, huh? You selfish little brat. Did you think it will be THAT easy? Just a few hits and all is over? Coward girl! You don't dare to face the consequences of your little game! You just want to leave the scene dead! Oh no! We will die together, understood?"
Yes. He mopped it up. Then – whose blood is that? No! It can't be his! He couldn't have committed such a terrible sin against himself! No! If he ended his own life it means he can never reach Heaven where he belongs to – despite his horrible sins, he still had SOME chance for that. Erik, did you chose the easy way out as well? Erik...
She knelt down to the dried blood and noticed a fallen out tooth. God. What on Earth had happened here? She picked it up despite her disgust, and examined it. It had some dried up spots of blood on it as well, and clearly it was broken. What has happened to Erik? Why did he lose a tooth with such a force?
In what shape that poor tortured body must be in? Oh God!
She restlessly stood up and started walking around the rooms, not daring to enter to Erik's bedroom, but couldn't stay at the Louis- Philippe room because of that ominous frightening sight. She walked into the kitchen to have a sip of water to settle down a bit. She noticed a broken glass on the stone floor and some empty wine bottles. Erik must have been sick if he did not clean these up. He did not tolerate mess and untidiness. She swept up and threw away the glass, carefully paying attention not to cut her hands. She looked around one more time, hoping that Erik, in whatever shape he might be in,, would still show up to question her about the noise she was making.
Erik please talk to me just one more time.
She was wandering around the house as a lost child, searching for any sign of life, but sadly nothing. The fireplaces in the Louis- Philippe room and the drawing room were cold. There was no heating, and they did not get cleaned out. Her shoes were knocking unbearably loud on the wooden floor. The grandfather's clock stopped. Erik always wound up each and every clocks and watches in the house as he was obsessing over knowing the exact time whenever he wanted to. No one set these clocks. No one could have.
Finally, she collected her strength and stepped in Erik's room.
The pipe organ was threateningly towering above her head as she turned her head to the side, trying to avoid directly looking at the coffin as she entered the room. She quickly clapped to make darkness disappear, just to notice that room was in a total chaos. Sheet music pages were thrown all over the floor with childish handwriting all over them, broken wine bottle, and red ink splashed on the floor. Or was it blood? No… thankfully only really ink. One of the pages she stepped on and now she lifted up carefully, only contained the notes C-D-A-A-E repeatedly scribbled all over it in treble clef intonation.
C. Daaé. C. Daaé… it was written down at least 100 times. That poor thing has really gone mad. Oh, may God have mercy on his tortured soul!
The chair at the desk was fallen and water was spilled all over the sheet music that fell on the ground at the desk. There was a candleholder laying on the floor. The candleholder also had spots of blood on it. Erik's black frock coat was just thrown on the floor, one of the sleeves reached in a puddle of red ink. He would hate that. Ink doesn't come out of clothing. He loved this frock coat, she thought it was his favorite. He wore it often.
She took a few shaky steps towards the coffin to finally do what she was there for, but as she carefully peeked inside, she noticed it was empty. God. Where is Erik? Where is he? He isn't waiting here for her. How should she find the body?
She started to circle the coffin nervously, trying to figure out what was going on, when suddenly...
She stepped on something. Upon looking down, she saw a skeletal hand under her left shoe. But the terrifying thing wasn't the realization of stepping on the body… but the painful noise it made when she did so! It cried out in pain – or to be clear, just gave out a faint painful muffled moan.
Did she hear it right? Are her senses making a fun of her and she is slowly going mad here, or did Erik really moan?
- Erik… ? – She called out in trembling voice.
Another pitiful cry was heard, but nothing else for a time. She finally lifted her foot off of Erik's hand which resulted in a relieved sigh and some murmuring she could not understand. She went down on her knees beside the laying Erik. He was fallen on his stomach, his face was against the floor which muffled his words he might have said. Only those few locks of dark brown hair were visible on his head.
- I am sorry. – She whispered. - I did not mean to step on you. I did not know you were here. Did it hurt much?
Erik sighed. He tried to move, but he was too weak to do so. Christine, nearly against her will, gently stroke his shoulder, and looked at him in worry.
- Erik, can you talk? I know you are alive, thank Heaven. Can you speak? Please say something.
Erik wasn't sure if he was hallucinating or not. He felt extremely tired and even moving a finger required a lot of effort. He heard her voice though.
- You are burning up. – Christine continued as she touched the side of his head as she could reach. – But your hands are cold.
- I… I... am ... cold. – He finally talked. Not much and his voice wasn't like his. It faded away, it was weak and soft. It lacked the power and divine resonance it usually had. This one sentence followed by a deep sigh as he was too tired to talk.
Christine started involuntarily massaging his shoulders while her tears started falling on the back of his waistcoat. Erik moaned contently, followed by a deep sigh. Christine kew she can1t leave him here alone. He is very ill and he needs her. She did not know yet how future will be, but she was sure she will stay with him until he either dies or will feel well enough to take care of himself.
She knew she shouldn't leave him lying on the cold floor, but the coffin was too high for her, and anyway, she would not put Erik in that damned object – as she was repulsed by that choice of a bed. She looked around in the coffin and could find some soft blankets for Erik. She covered him up with them until she tidies the house enough to be able to somehow carry Erik in the Louis- Philippe room to put him in a proper bed. He won't spend his last days on the floor.
- What... are... you... doing? – Erik asked with great effort as Christine turned around to collect sheet music from the floor.
- I am cleaning up a bit. Or... don't you want me to?
- No. – Erik tried to crawl closer, and after a few miserable attempts he could get a few inches closer, but not anymore.
- All right. – Christine put the papers down. – Stay calm, Erik. I am here to help you.
- Erik... doesn't... need... help. – He clenched his teeth as he was trying to stand up, but his hands weren't strong enough to push up his body from the floor. – Go... away. – He added, collapsing back to the floor, being utterly worn out.
- Don't you recognize me? – Christine gasped in surprise. She did not believe her ears that Erik wants to send her away. Why?
- You... are Christine. – He stated, dozing off a bit. So he clearly recognizes her.
- Then why do you want me to leave? – She walked closer, and leaned close to the man on the ground. She examined him with worry.
- You came... too early. Sorry. – He sighed. – I... I... don't... wish...
- Me to see you in that condition? – She finished his sentence as she saw how much speech wears Erik out. The Phantom was only able to produce a faint nod. – Erik, I understand that you don't feel comfortable around me in this state of health. – She continued. – But I am not leaving.
Erik gasped loudly which resulted in a coughing fit. Christine sat down next to him and patted his shoulder, trying to comfort him. After it ended, Erik tossed her hand away and turned away in shame. He murmured "Oh shit" under his breathe. Christine found it strange, she never heard Erik cuss before.
- Why don't you want me to touch you? – She inquired.
- Leave. – He buried his face on the floor, between his arms, and just lay under the blanket silently.
- I am not leaving. – Christine stated. – I am staying with you until... so, until you need me.
- Go to... the Viscount. Leave me. You don't... have... to... return.
- Erik, this subject is over. I am staying no matter what you say or think. I wish to stay with you. I am actually relieved that I arrived early.
Erik sighed again. He knew Christine too well and he knew Christine means what she says. There was no use to send her away. He has no physical strength to push her out of the door and not even the room. But he clearly did not want her around, especially not now. How could death be so humiliating? Why did he send out the sign too early? Why didn't he die already?
- You need to be washed. – Christine said, looking at the dried blood all over Erik's head.
- Indeed. But... you... aren't... washing me.
- You can't stay here on the floor with blood all over your head.
- Oh... blood? – He asked with relief. – You… only... think of... blood.
- Why, what did you think…? Oh… – Christine bit her lips. – Did you...?
- Go away. – He moaned, laying down again, crying.
Christine noticed the blankets were a bit of wet, obviously the coughing fit caused poor Erik to lose control of his bladder.
- Erik, it is nothing you should be ashamed of! You are ill. And...
- Go away! – He whined and tried to pull away, but finally those lot of efforts he made to talk and move caused him to lose consciousness.
Christine sobbed upon the state she had to see poor Erik in. She was sure she will help him with everything and try her best to cure him. With a sad expression, she went to the Louis- Philippe room to mop up the blood from the floor and to light up a fire in the fireplace. She just hoped Erik won't regain his consciousness until she is done bathing him.
Erik's bathroom was just as luxurious as hers, he also had a water closet, running hot and cold water, and a marble bathtub. She ran some warm, but not too hot water for him, as she did not only need to wash him, but help his fever go down. He was so hot when she touched him.
When she was done with running the water and the tub was filled up, she wanted to turn around to somehow drag Erik in there, but to her surprise and shock, she saw she did not have to tire herself over that. Erik was kneeling behind her, shaking and gasping for air. His thin frame was trembling from head to foot.
- Oh… how did you get here? – She asked.
- Get... out. – Erik groaned. – I need no help.
- I want to wash you.
- Erik... takes a bath... ALONE!
- Erik, don't be so stubborn, for God's sake! You can drown in your own bath if you turn unconscious of the effort you make.
- GET OUT!
It was again Erik's thundering voice, but this wasn't the fact that worried Christine, but Erik's gasping that followed the yell. He somehow collected his strength to get in the bathroom and was determined to bathe alone. He needed so much willpower for that she did not imagine how on Earth he can have being so very ill.
- I will be outside in your room if you need me. – She assured and left before Erik would waste his energy any further by yelling or fighting. If he wants to clean himself alone, there is no use to argue with him.
She started to clean up after she shut the bathroom door behind her to let Erik take a bath in peace, she collected the sheet music from the ground, and mopped up the puddle from the floor. She tidied the Louis- Philippe room and the kitchen and she set all the clocks according to her own watch. It was half past three. Erik was taking too long in the bathroom. Is he all right? Is he... dead? She hurried back to the bathroom door, nervously tapping on it three times and called out.
- Erik? Are you all right in there?
- Leave me alone. – The response came.
Not too kind, but at least he can still answer her questions. She worriedly sat down on the couch in Erik's room to wait until he comes out, or help him if he needed that. After some minutes she heard very alarming sounds coming from the bathroom and she felt her heart sink. Erik was gagging, then vomiting. She rushed back to the door and she asked the silliest question one can come up with in such situation.
- Erik, are you all right?
Silence. Even after he stopped vomiting, he remained silent.
- Erik…? You all right? – She repeated.
- No. – Erik's irritated voice responded.
- Do you need help? – She offered hesitantly.
- With what the bloody Hell? Throwing up? – Erik retorted. – I have... told you... I did NOT need help.
- All right, I am waiting for you here. Come out when you feel better.
In a half an hour time, the door opened. Erik literally collapsed out of the room, as he was trying to stand on his feet without much success. He was wearing a bathrobe and was all cleaned up, but the process utterly wore him out to the point of vomiting. Now he lay on the floor in front of the bathroom door, he seemed to be so exhausted he did not even care when Christine touched him under his armpits on both sides and dragging him towards the sofa she was sitting on a few minutes earlier. With great effort, she pushed Erik up there, but he did not wake up to the sensations of being tossed and dragged. He was unconscious.
She covered Erik up with a clean blanket she found and put a pillow under his head to make sure his head isn't uncomfortable because of the hand-rail. She knew Erik did not want her to see him like this, but she knew she had to stay with him and make his sufferings at least bearable. She was still repulsed by that uncovered pale face, but she had to be strong, and pretend everything was all right. She did it for two weeks already, after burning his mask. She will succeed again and make sure Erik dies in peace.
Deep in her heart she hoped Erik won't pass away.