Chapter 4-Distracted
Kakashi stared at the splay of pale pink hair on the far side of the campsite. Sakura was trying, unsuccessfully, to pretend that she was still asleep.
Everyone has a "tell" when they're pretending to be asleep. Some people's eyes flutter, others exaggerate their breathing and snoring, and some people, like Sakura, do the complete opposite.
A morning chill hung in the air, the type that makes each breath come out as a fog. Sakura, however, seemed to have little to no fog coming out of her. She seemed to be holding her breath out of fear of getting caught or so that she wouldn't get caught or a little bit of both. Either way, it wasn't working.
Also, she was too still, as if any movement would bring unwanted attention to her, yet when a person is sleeping their body is completely relaxed. Sakura, on the other hand, might as well have been made of stone.
Kakashi would have to remember to tell her all these things later on. If she were feigning sleep as a cover on a mission, the enemy would not be fooled, then Sakura really would be stone cold because she'd be dead.
It was a little before sunrise when the sky is still pearly gray. It was also the most difficult watch shift. No one wanted it because they would have to wake up extra early, but Kakashi usually ended up taking it for several reasons:
First, out of consideration for the rest of his team.
Second, because he was team captain.
And third, because he tended to wake up early anyway. In spite of his reputation for always being late, he was an early riser. It gave him time to pay Obito and the rest of his old team respects at the memorial, but sharing current events in his life and reliving old memories and regrets always made time fly, and before Kakashi knew it, he was late for whatever appointment he might have had.
Lately, most news he brought to his old team involved Sakura. The memorial stone became more of a sounding board than something to commemorate the dead. It's not like Kakashi expected the ghosts of his old teammates to answer him back, but saying his concerns out loud often did help him figure things out on his own, but who knows? Maybe his old teammates did help him come up with those answers.
Sakura, whether she knew it or not, had taken over Kakashi's life. She overwhelmed his mind, thinking and worrying about her, especially now that he had the sneaking suspicion that she was avoiding him because she actually liked him. For all he knew he could be wrong, but gut instinct told him that he wasn't and his instincts were usually good. It's one of the reasons why he was so successful, why he was a legend, but of course there was no harm in asking and making sure. The only problem was that the one person who could confirm or deny his suspicion was trying her damnedest to stay the hell away from him.
Kakashi couldn't blame her. It was self-preservation, after all. Not many people look too kindly towards unconventional relationships even if there were other relationships far more unconventional. If a relationship ever were to develop between them, it would be nothing more than one between two grown adults with a big age gap in-between, but some people don't care about that. Some people are so fixated only on what they know and what they're used to that they automatically shoot down anything different.
It's not their fault. It's human nature. It's why children tease other children who stick out like a sore thumb…Because conformity is familiar and comforting and who doesn't want that? Yet if everyone lived their lives exactly the same, then where's the imagination? Where's the uniqueness of each individual that makes them who they are and not cookie cutter cutouts of who they're "supposed to be"? And there would be no great leaps forward in life either because it's the ballsy ones who imagine life outside the box and make life better than what it already is and they are the ones remembered, not the ones who play it safe for the rest of their life.
Ironically, he had been one of those people. After what had happened to his father, he was practically scared into becoming one of those people, but when Obito died, he thought he had changed. Kakashi knows now that he actually hadn't. If he had, then the mere idea of him and Sakura being together wouldn't have shocked and surprised even himself.
In his defense, he never considered her that way before for good reason. For one, she had been his student (even if it had been only for a year, if that), and for another, because of how much older he was than her, but looking at her now, he could definitely see her as a possibility.
She wasn't a 12 year old child anymore, she was a 22 year old woman and a beautiful one at that. She had always been cute as a child, naturally standing out with her uncommon pale pink hair and large seafoam colored eyes, but now she was the type of woman who caught most men's eyes, tall and slender with curves in all the right places and still with her exotic looks. She was the type of woman most men considered out of their league, the type of woman who intimidates most men from even trying to speak to her. It didn't help either that she was monstrously strong or was the Hokage's apprentice. It only made her even more intimidating and unattainable.
But for Kakashi it was different.
When Kakashi looked at Sakura, he not only saw a beautiful woman, but he saw his old teammate, his longtime friend.
It was strange because even though they had been friends and teammates for almost 10 years now, it felt like all the adventures that they had together happened only the year before. Time is funny like that. At first it seems like it takes forever, then you come to realize that five, ten years have already passed, that life truly is short…
That being said, shouldn't he take the chance? For all he knew, he could die today or tomorrow. And what would he have to show for it? He already died once. If he died again, permanently, could he tell his father about improvements in his life since they last reunited or would he have to admit to having stood still, unmoving and unchanging like stagnant water?
If Sakura and he hadn't had their history as student and teacher, if she was just another shinobi, he would pursue her without question. She was an elite like he was. She understood his work and delved into it like he did. She understood him in ways a civilian never could, but the fact that they do have a history together, protected each other's backs countless of times, and been friends for just as long made their bond even stronger than with any fellow shinobi he might decide to date. If anything, this saved him most of the trouble and anguish of dating…He already knew so much about her and in turn, she already knew so much about him. It was transitioning from friends to more than friends that would be the tricky part.
What was he thinking?! Why was he even considering this?! So she possibly had a crush on him. So what? That didn't mean anything. Crush or no, he couldn't pursue her!
Wait…Why couldn't he date her again? Kakashi asked himself, confused. Oh, right, the age thing. And why was that so taboo again? Because of the generation gap? Because of genetics? Because it looked weird?
Strange, but he didn't really notice the generation gap when he was with Sakura. She was sharp minded and had been one of the brightest students in her class, so when he spoke to her, she spoke intelligently and maturely. The only times the generation gap became noticeable was when he talked about trivial things like an actor or a musician she hadn't heard about before and vice versa, but then they were able to teach each other to become more versatile.
If it was genetics and ensuring that their children received only the best genes, then Kakashi was pretty damn sure his genes weren't so old and shriveled as to be a disadvantage to any children he and Sakura might have. As it was, he could think of plenty of women who would want him for their children's father.
As for appearance's sake, Kakashi thanked God everyday for his good genes. He still pretty much looked the same way he did when he was in his 20's even though he was now in his 30's. Most people didn't even give him and Sakura a second glance when they were together and some of them even automatically assumed they were a couple. That being said, the only people who would know about the age thing would be people who already knew them or people they chose to tell.
So, again, why wouldn't they work out?
Because she was 22 and he was 36. He was a quickly aging man and she was just a young woman starting her life, but 30's wasn't old, not really. In fact, 30's and 40's are considered the prime of people's lives when you have life pretty figured out and you're still young enough to enjoy it.
Kakashi had to smile, remembering what Tsunade once told him:
"You're only old when you have more years behind you than ahead of you and you have plenty of more years ahead of you, brat!"
Still, did he really want to go down this risky road? There were plenty of other women his own age that he could pursue…But if any of them meant half of what Sakura did to him, then he would have already pursued them, Kakashi realized. Maybe it was even because of her that he never went after anyone else... Because a part of him always knew that she was the only one for him. He just needed to give her a little more time to come into her own.
Was he out of his mind for even considering it or was he overthinking things since there weren't any more real boundaries between them?
If he could just find out how she felt about him, then maybe he'd know better what to do.
…But she was pretending to be asleep.
How do you even begin to start asking questions when the person you want to ask is so afraid to confront you that she's pretending to be asleep and not doing a very good job of it either?
Kakashi could just call her on it, but he didn't want to embarrass her. Besides, he highly doubted she'd be more willing to talk if he did, so he quietly said, "Breakfast is ready if you're hungry" instead.
Surprisingly, Sakura's body actually relaxed, as if she were relieved to finally let go of the façade. That, or she simply surrendered to being caught.
Sakura slowly opened up her eyes and croaked "Good morning" because even if she had been faking to still be asleep, her vocal cords were most certainly just warming up.
"Good morning." Kakashi answered back, handing her her breakfast as she walked unsteadily towards him.
She accepted the simple fare of hot tea, oatmeal, and an apple and sat directly across from him on the other side of the campfire.
It wasn't until Sakura had taken several bites of food that Kakashi finally tackled the problem that had been bothering him for days on end.
"So you want to tell me what's going on?" he asked easily as he poked at the fire to keep it going.
"What do you mean? Nothing's going on." Sakura replied, stuffing an overflowing spoonful of oatmeal into her mouth, thinking she could keep from answering his questions if her mouth was full.
"Sakura, are you going Hinata Hyuuga on me?"
At that, Sakura started to choke and cough so hard that bits of oatmeal started to spray out of her mouth.
Kakashi quickly got up and started gently patting her on the back.
"Excuse me?" she asked once she got control of herself.
"Well, you said that you weren't angry at me, but you're still avoiding me, so I have this theory that you're doing it because you actually like me."
Sakura's face turned bright red.
"What made you think that? I mean, nothing against you, but I just don't think about you that way!"
Kakashi would've called it quits right then and there, but there was something about Sakura's demeanor that betrayed the words coming out of her mouth, like the way she seemed unable to look him straight in the eye and for the few seconds that she did, her face seemed to get redder with embarrassment. If she had been telling the truth, she'd have simply socked him in the face, called him a perv, and stormed away. She might have even walked all over his prone body and stomped on his balls for good measure, but she hadn't. Instead, she just looked plain guilty.
"Everything all right, Kakashi-sempai?" Yamato asked, the first from the rest of their team to wake up. He now looked in confusion between a pensive looking Kakashi and a clearly flustered Sakura.
"No. Nothing at all. I was just about to leave and wash up." Sakura said, eyeing Kakashi one last time before quickly grabbing a few of her things and speed walking away from the campsite towards a nearby stream.
"What happened? What did you say to her?" Yamato asked accusingly once Sakura was clear from earshot.
"I…" Kakashi began wearily. "I'll be right back." he told Yamato quickly, then like Sakura, speed walked out of the campsite and into the woods.
"Why are you guys making so much noise?!" Naruto asked grumpily, rubbing at his half opened eyes as both he and Sai began to stir awake as well.
"Don't look at me." Yamato said, raising his hands up in innocence. "I'm as confused as you are."
~*~*~*~
After so much psychological agony of whether to pursue Sakura or not, the irony of literally chasing after her was not lost on Kakashi.
"Sakura, wait! Can we just talk for a minute?" he yelled after her.
"There's nothing to talk about, Kaka-sensei, so can you please just leave me alone?"
He ducked, trying not to get whacked in the face by a leafy branch Sakura had just shoved out of her way and that was now rebounding back. He barely dove when he then suddenly had to jump up to keep from tripping on an overgrown root sticking out from the ground…Literal obstacles getting in his way to Sakura weren't lost on him either. What was next? A masked criminal robbing a cradle? Heck, as it was he was already masked.
For what seemed like the millionth time, Kakashi second guessed himself. If he had just been waiting for Sakura to come into her own, well, she most certainly had, and not just physically, but confidence wise. If she wanted something, she went after it. If she wanted him, then she would've went after him regardless of what other people thought. That being said, he didn't want to force himself on her either. If only he didn't have the gut feeling that she was lying to him…
And then he noticed that she had stopped answering him altogether.
Did she really think she could lose him that way? He was like Superman…He had super everything!
The sweet, clean smell riding on the breeze told him that she was east of where he was standing.
The slight rustling of leaves and cracking of twigs underfoot told him that he was catching up to her quick.
However, he wished he had enhanced his sight with his Sharingan as well because when he pushed the last tree branch out of the way, he was met by bright green eyes staring back at him wide in fear as a stranger's large hand clamped itself over her mouth while his other hand bound both her arms tightly behind her back.
Years of seeing the man's mug in the bingo books and Tsunade's more recent mission briefing let Kakashi know exactly who this man was. It was their target. The man they were meant to find and bring back home to Konoha for Ibiki to interrogate. The man who, under no circumstance, was to be killed.
To be continued...