Chapter Summary:
This chapter focuses on divination and Harriet's skills in the art at this time as well as giving some background and insight into her life. It is low on plot as it really is all about Harriet and divination (I'm sorry about that for those upset by it).
Quick Author's Notes:
Thank you to everyone who's been leaving reviews. You all have truly been helping me to keep my motivation up to keep going despite pushing my way through editing frustrations.
Chapter 4: Divination's Darling
Harriet was anxious about the trial despite her best efforts not to be. There were a lot of things she'd learned about the magical world since finding out she was a witch. One of the things she'd seen time and again was how very little sense or fairness and sense there was to be found from their government. She didn't trust that the trial was going to go her way. She didn't trust the system to do job. She hated that. They may promise justice but that wasn't how things worked in magical Britain. Even their punishment of the truly guilty could hardly be condoned as just. Dementors as a punishment was unethical. She still remembered how Hagrid had looked after his release. At the time she hadn't understood what he'd been through. You couldn't understand unless you had experienced a dementor for yourself. After being exposed to them Harriet didn't want even the likes of Malfoy Senior having to spent days in their 'care' let alone the years he should have received as a death eater. And that was only the dementors. Given how medieval wizarding society could still be she imagined the prison itself was horrific even discounting its guards.
Worse yet was the fact that they condoned people to a place like that with every intention of releasing them back out into the world. It wasn't just murders and rapists who were sent to Azkaban. It was thieves and tax evaders and the like too. Surely making your own citizens unstable and traumatized before putting them back amongst the general population was the opposite of what a justice system should be aiming for. Wasn't the point security? She knew Uncle Vernon would argue the point was punishment. That was what she'd been told all her childhood and it never sat right with her.
"Tradition," was a very English argument against change and it was one of many that drove her bonkers. Unfortunately the British wizards and witches seemed to have it even more ingrained in them then their muggle counterparts. She hadn't necessarily seen perfect justice in the muggle world either but at least they tried. At least there was some slow progress being made on their side of things.
Whenever she got into a rant about it Hermione would join in. As they went in on the wrongs of the wizarding world Ron would roll his eyes at the pair of them and move along. He'd learned not to go up against them about it as "you can't compare wizards and muggles" didn't work on them and they couldn't just accept the way things were as he could. Luna was more able to debate with them but most of the examples she gave came from the past or from other wizarding nations. Neville on the other hand would ask questions but not argue with them unless he was very confident in what he had to say. When Neville chose to speak he always had a point.
Everywhere she looked Harriet saw things that didn't make sense. It had always bothered her, these things she noticed, but it had gotten harder to ignore these things since learning the truth about her parents death and harder still since her name came out of the goblet. It was like an itch under her skin. Hermione thought Harriet might have OCD. She'd even picket up Harriet literature about it. Some of the symptoms did seem to match up but Harriet wasn't sure about Hermione's diagnosis. Yes she did like things to have a certain order about them. And yes she got hung up on on things. She obsessed. When wanted an answer it wouldn't leave her along until she got it. An unanswered question could linger as an itch in her mind for years. Even though she'd forgotten much of her life from that time there were things from before she'd primary school that still bothered her. But the things that bothered her it didn't make her anxious. When things weren't right it just made her frustrated. Very frustrated. Sometimes to the point of anger and rage or even fury. Especially when things could very simply be put right.
When there were simple ways of making life easier or doing something better and people ignored that option Harriet would feel an itch. For years it had been manageable but lately there were times she wanted to scratch herself down to the bone or cut off her skin for how bad it would get. The frustration and irritation at the itchiness would only feed into her anger at what was causing it. She found herself very angry these days with just about everything and everyone. There were some things that had escaped her wrath. She loved Hermione and Ron and Sirius but they were fire and would often stoke her her up. Neville and Luna though, they were earth and wind. Being around them always helped Harriet to hold to her center. John was much the same, only when she thought of him she thought of metal. Heavy and securing, worked over to be made into what it was. John wasn't willing to talk about his past but from the readings she had done Harriet could tell he was a person very much made by his experiences. He'd been through a lot of change over the years and made it through times of trial. If it hadn't been for those three and Hedwig Harriet didn't know how she would have gotten through the summer.
Finding out you'd been lied to all your life about who you were and how your parents died was one thing. Facing off against a troll that was loss in your school while also terrifying could also be thrilling, if you won and if no one got hurt. If a kid wasn't paranoid already someone trying to curse your broom so you'd fall to your death was a good way to get them there. Seeing a unicorn attacked and killed was traumatizing. Learning your teachers had put a dangerous artifact in a school of children then failed to notice a member of the staff was a unicorn killing, Dark Lord hosting, attempted child murder was disturbing to say the least of it. That she'd been the child that he had tried killing didn't help matters. And that was only her first year. Second year was hardly any better and third had taken things to a whole new level.
After everything that had happened with Sirius and Pettigrew, then the Triwizard Tournament and Voldemort's return, and finally the ministry's behavior through it all, Harriet felt she was justified in having been through just a bit too much. Was it any wonder she was having a hard time of things? Her anger only got worse with Hermione and Ron and Sirius keeping secrets. Then worse still when she learned her letters were being screened without her knowledge nearly costing her a chance to connect with a member of her family. She'd written to Sirius about it 'wanting to check that no malicious mail could reach her'. It was only then she'd been told why she didn't need to worry.
Furious and not understanding why Dumbledore had kept John's first two letters from her Harriet chose had kept her correspondence with her cousin a secret. That was until the dementors attacked and she was being expelled. Only then she wasn't being expelled and their were more secrets and more that just seemed so obviously wrong. When the order came for her she'd had to explain that Hedwig was away delivering a letter. They'd thought nothing of it, assuming she'd been writing Neville or Luna or Hermione or Ron or any of the other friends they knew about. When Hedwig arrived that night with John's letter and Sirius asked who it was from Harriet chose not to lie and revealed her secret.
The fall out had not been pretty. Everyone had been against her, ready to tell her off.
With so many of the people she trusted adding to the troubles on her mind Harriet's anger and her itchiness had become a near constant. It didn't help that her unanswered questions had piled up so high it seemed they'd have no choice but to topple down on her soon.
Why did she have to be left with the Dursleys when Voldemort had been able to do everything he'd done to her over the years despite them? He'd kidnapped her. He'd resurrected as a big blue naked humanoid monster with glowing red eyes! How did they even know if the wards would work on something so far from human?
Why did they insist she was safe at Privet drive when beyond the wards with her casting spells not allowed she was anything but? Even discounting the dementors and death eaters a simple charmed muggle with a gun could do more damage to her since her order guards would never question the presence of a muggle.
Why should she be left in the dark? So many times things would have gone better if people had just talked and been honest with each other. Sirius might never have gone to Azkaban if someone had known he wasn't the secret keeper. Peter may have been captured years ago. Voldemort might have still been a hovering wraith without that rat to help him. Sirius would be a free man who could leave the house and get help instead of slowly going insane in the house only the threat of death or Azkaban could make him stay in. And that was only one example of many Harriet could think of ways in which being honest could have made things better. Even if they didn't want to tell her everything why not at least give her some kind of real answer about the whos, whats, wheres, whens, and whys? Why not warn her when they were going to suddenly drop her into the dark?
Why wasn't Dumbledore and the order doing more to prove Voldemort had returned? Why weren't they running a counter campaign against the slander? How were they going to win when they were fighting the war on two fronts, against Voldemort and public opinion?
How was leaving her to spend the summer wasting away at the Dursley's the best use of her time? Shouldn't someone have been coming to train or tutor her? How many times did Voldemort have to get to her before people realized she had to be capable of defending herself?
Something she'd always been good at was seeing possibilities and figuring out cause and effect. Hermione said it was because she was smart and good at deductive reasoning, like Sherlock. Trelawney told her it was their way because of their gift. Luna explained it that Harriet wasn't a prophet like Trelawney or have the connection Luna had to the world. She said Harriet was tied into all the possibility of how the future might weave itself together. And the future is the present and the present is the past. The tapestry of the universe was made up of everything and every part of everyone and Harriet was connected to that not just for her part in it but also in the abstract, beyond her physical self. Because she was connected to these things her conscious mind had developed differently in order to deal with the burdens of her potential.
… Sometimes conversations with Luna were very confusing but they always held some sense that you could latch on to. What Harriet had taken away from that particular conversation was that she had learned to see the world the way she did because of the things she could subconsciously divine but hadn't learned to tap into until she actually started studying divination.
Most people thought divination was a waste of time. Some even wanted it removed from the Hogwarts curriculum. For Harriet it had proven to be her favorite and most useful class. She excelled their even more than she had in defense. Hermione insisted the reason for this was passion. She had passion for these two subjects and so she applied herself. If she could apply herself like this to her other courses she would be able to do just as well. Harriet didn't know about that. She thought Hermione might have been right in regard to Defense but with Divination she thought Trelawney had the right of it. Without the gift there was little you could do. With the gift divination opened doors you'd never realized had been closed to you.
The night before John's letter had advised her that the best way to deal with her nerves about the trial would be to wake up early and see what where her fortunes lay for the day. Better to know than to not. Better to be prepared he reasoned. Harriet agreed. She'd woken up with hours left before she'd have to go to the ministry. With Ginny and Hermione still fast asleep she grabbed her supplies and snuck out of their room.
Her woolly bag as Ron dubbed it - due to Hermione's once description of divination - was a gift from Luna. It was velvet with a view of the cosmos painted on the exterior. Inside an expansion and featherlight charm had been put into place so she could carry all her divination tools around with her without being too cumbersome. This had been the best presents of the holiday as crystal balls were heavy as a singular crystal ball. Just lugging the one around was a work out. Harriet already had four of them each of a different size and made of a different stone but all incredibly heavy. All four were presents Trelawney had presented to her at Christmas and on the last day of the school year as an early birthday present over the last two years.
Her divination professor saw her as something between an apprentice and a goddaughter. With no children of her own she viewed Harriet as a vessel to keep the stories, practices, and memory of her family line alive. The crystal balls had been in the Trelawney family for generations. She didn't trust anyone but Harriet to care for them and respect them the way they deserved. She wanted to hand them over to Harriet now before she collected ones of her own and grew attached to them instead. She hadn't told Harriet any of this of course but Harriet had read for her enough that she knew. Thankfully, Harriet really liked crystal balls even if they were heavy and bulking and cliche enough that her classmates would mock her if she pulled one out to use in public. Thankfully crystal balls weren't something she used often in her day to day life.
Crystal balls worked for seeing the bigger picture. Literally. While gazing into the depths of her largest orb Harriet could see all of the earth like it was a small ball to be held in her hand. She'd been able explore the galaxy and beyond with nothing but a crystal ball. The things she'd seen while looking out there… And Harriet looked up at the stars with her own two eyes it was like she was pulled out into the cosmos to exist with them. It had always been like that for her. She thought it was normal. "Admiring the majesty of the night sky," one of her teachers had described. That's what she thought she was doing. It wasn't until she came to Hogwarts and they had their first night class for Astronomy that she learned differently. It was actually Professor Sinistra who'd first suggested she might want to look into Divination class as an elective when the time came.
The funny thing was that while a crystal ball let her see the stars and looking at the stars pulled her out into the universe, Astrology made her feel like she was the universe looking in on the individual, seeing their place in everything. She didn't really like delving into Astrology for reading people. She didn't like the way it made her feel. From that perspective individuals were so radically important and yet at the same time so insignificant. Looking into a crystal ball though, that was something she loved, and so she greatly valued the one's Trelawney had gifted her.
Apparently she had been a hard person to shop for. No one really knew what to get her that wasn't candy or quidditch theme goods. Once people had a second niche with her being known as a seer the presents she got developed a persistent theme.
Despite never buying herself any Harriet had fifteen sets of tarot cards. Each had been gifts leaving her with a collection of all different sizes, styles, colors, and types. Tarot cards were Harriet's least favorite means of divination after all the ones that involved dealing with dead things or blood or eggs. Working with eggs just seemed weird to her but at least it didn't leave her feeling guilty like the others. Tarot cards didn't carry any sense of guilt but they did make her feel itchy. The meaning she was meant to put on them always felt constricting. Card readings just left her wanting to look deeper, to understand better.
Mirror gazing worked well for her if she was looking to turn her eye in on the present. In total her collection consisted of seven of them all of various makes, styles, and sizes. Her favorite was small enough to carry around like a compact in her pocket… sometimes she even used it like one. While dead useful on any other day mirror gazing wouldn't be of much use to her at the moment as what she was looking for was not in the present but the future. She would likely make use of one closer to the trial but for the moment scrying mirrors weren't what she planned on using to 'cast her sight beyond' as Trelawney often described it.
For looking into personal immediate futures Harriet preferred tea reading, Kau cim, and some other more obscure or foreign methods she'd learned from Trelawney. The one she'd found she had the best luck with was a form of gazing where you froze still water found your answers in the way the ice crystals formed. Specifically, Harriet got her best predictions from creating by her own magic a bowl of ice. She would then fill the bowl from her own wand, and gazed while she froze that water with a simple freezing charm. Luna said this was because her magic was the purest conduit. She was only using the ice as a crutch until she had grown enough to stand on her own.
With the trial coming up Harriet was planning on using all of the best methods she had at her disposal. She would start by making a cup of tea, not just to read but for calm and clarity. John had sent her a mix that worked well and that is what she would use. In front of Sirius and the rest. To prove a point and also because it worked. While she waited for the water to boil she could check fire omens in the flames she would use to heat the kettle. When the fire burned out she'd check the ash while drinking the tea. Once the cup was done she could check the leaves and move on to go through a series of questions with her Kau cim set.
For answers to specific questions Kau cim was the best, just so long as you were asking the right questions. Her magic would cause the right stick to fall and give her the answers she knew inside her but couldn't consciously call forth on her own. From there she would probably try a few things depending on what she saw. She'd save the ice for after breakfast. It was a good meditative practice and depending on how slowly she froze the water she could either draw it out or rush it on to adjust it for how much time they had left before leaving for the ministry. She'd need an adult for both the fire and the ice which bothered her some as it meant she wouldn't get as clear of a reading. She couldn't risk getting in more trouble though as she was already going to her trial for underage magic outside of school. It wouldn't look good if she had a second charge showing up on the day of.
She was almost at the bottom of the stairs when she heard talking in the kitchen. She tried to listen in but couldn't hear anything. She knew she shouldn't listen. She knew she'd get in trouble if she was caught but she really wasn't happy with the adults in her life at the moment. She didn't like how they'd been treating her or the secrets they'd been keeping and she didn't like the fact that they felt entitled to make decisions for her. Being angry with them made her feel entitled to do the things she wanted that she knew they wouldn't approve.
Reaching into her Wolly bag she sought out the second smallest scrying mirror she owned after her compact which was in the pocket of her coat left in her room. When it was in hand she sat down on the stairs and held the mirror out in front of her. There were several ways to "look beyond". She'd tried out a bunch to find what worked best for her and mostly she'd found it in mantras. Unlocking her magic with words felt familiar, like spellwork. When she went to look beyond she had specific mantras she used as spells to achieve what she wanted.
Harriet focused in on herself. 'I am here,' she thought. She focused on the vision of herself in the mirror. 'I am there'. She turned her focus inward again. 'I am here'. The mirror. 'I am there.' The world around her body fell away. The world around the image of herself in the mirror went with it. 'I am here' she thought focusing on her body. She turned her attention to her reflection. It wasn't her physical form but it was her. She could see herself from the perspective of the mirror. 'I am here'. She could see in duel. Her physical eyes saw herself in the mirror looking back. Her mind's eye saw what her astral saw her body from the perspective of the mirror.
Having successfully looked beyond she envisioned herself walking out of the mirror, to and through the wood of the door into the kitchen. Without a body she didn't need to walk. She didn't need to worry about a solid object blocking her way. She moved as a ghost would a part of the physical world yet separated from it.
The first time she'd successfully managed to project her astral form it had disturbed her so badly she'd scared herself right back into her body. Even as practiced at it as she had become she still found it off putting. What was most disconcerting about this learning this particular skill was that sometimes she found herself feeling like her consciousness could just walk off even without there being a single mirror in sight.
"You're learning to stand on your own," Luna had explained in an effort to comfort her one day when Harriet had shivered at the feeling of being that precariously tethered to her own body. The words were a cold comfort. She'd been too scared to do any form of scrying for a few weeks after that but then the second task had come. With Luna and Hermione missing, being kept somewhere in a very big dark lake Harriet had no choice but to use the best methods she had of finding them and that was scrying. After summoning a broom, summoning a small mirror was nothing.
'Hearing' what was being said in the kitchen wasn't a problem. Even if her astral form didn't really have ears to pick up sound somehow she still heard it all. What was being said in the kitchen did not make her happy. It did not make her happy at all. They'd not only been following John without telling her but Dumbledore was there and he was planning on leaving without saying a word to her even though he would be going to her trail. Apparently this was because he it felt wasn't good for them to be associating given what was happening with the ministry. Despite this he was still going to represent her in court. Neither of these things made sense to Harriet. If he was avoiding publicly associating with her why would he have to keep his distance in the security of their headquarters? Why wouldn't they let her know all that was going to happen so she could be prepared? If associating was bad then why hadn't he found someone else to represent her at the trial?
Anger coursed through her veins. Her brain and skin started to itch. It started in her arms then her nose while the inside of her skull began to prickle.
Why were people always doing things that didn't make sense? Why were people doing things supposedly for her but not bothering to talk to her about it first? Was she that unreasonable? Untrustworthy? Did they see her as dumb or naive? What was it?! Did they just not want to risk that a fifteen year old might be able to explain to them why they were wrong? Was it just a matter of wanting to do as they pleased with no concern for what she desired?
She had to move her hand to relieve the itch that had spread to consume her cheek and eyes and scalp, back and knee, but if she move she'd call her astral self back to her body. She tried to hold on awhile longer but it was too much. She called her astral being back to the mirror and then pulled it back into her body from the reflection. She managed the entire process faster than she ever had before. Trelawney would be ecstatic when Harriet told her.
Once everything was set to rights in her own skin Harriet plopped the mirror down in her lap to free both hands to get at the itch that was steadily consuming her. She grit her teeth on a groan of relief as she scrubbed at her noise and rubbed at her brow which became her whole face, then head, then worked down over her body from there. Once the first pass was completed she forced herself to stop for the moment it took to store the mirror and rise to her feet. With that settled she went back to scratching as she ascended the stairs.
She'd change her plan. She would skip the kitchen and the adults for as long as she could. She'd head upstairs and take an ice cold bath. Cold was the only cure for the itching when it got this bad. Once she'd gotten rid of it she see to actually bathing and getting dressed. After that she'd wake up Fred and George and make them be her "adults" to light her flame and freeze her water and carry on with what she'd originally intended to do in the kitchens. Given how happy they were to be allowed to use their magic outside of school they could use it to help out their favorite investor.
Stomping up to the tub she turned on the water. As the water came gushing out she stuck her hand into the stream to feel the temperature. Shaking both her head and her wet hand Harriet ground her teeth as she was faced with a familiar problem. At school she could just use her wand to bring the water down to a cold enough temperature. The first time she'd thought to do it she'd sunk into the water and found true blessed relief. The water had never been cold enough at the Dursleys to completely numb the itch. She'd never understood what it was she really needed until she found that full relief which came from properly almost freezing water. Unfortunately after a year at Hogwarts with access to what she needed she was unequipped to handle herself when the summer came and she was back at the Dursleys. As she not allowed to use her magic there she was stuck with water only as cold as it would come from their taps. While helpful it wasn't cold enough to be a proper balm to her problem.
Still scratching all over Harriet thought about going and waking the boys to spell her bath to her preferred temperature but then she remembered a faster option. "Kreacher," she called. She waited a minute and still nothing. "Kreacher," she tried again with a growl. "I am summoning you," she explained so there could be no confusion.
It was enough to get the house elf to come.
"What is Mistress Potter needing from Kreature," he mumbled giving her resentful respect. He didn't treat anyone else that way. It was only Harriet who could get him to do something without having to threaten. After the order was given he might grumble about his mistress not liking it but every time she was there he put on a semblance of respect.
"Cool the water," Harriet ordered him.
With a snap the water was frozen over on top and the house elf was gone.
There was still water coming down from the tap. Reaching out blindly Harriet shut it off while she staring down at the ice. From the looked of things it wasn't frozen solid which meant it was just fine with her. She didn't know if Kreature had somehow known this was what she wanted or if he was trying to be spiteful but she didn't care. Harriet eagerly stripped off her night shorts. As soon as they were clear of her feet she was stepping out into the tub. Her foot landed on the ice and she pushed down. The ice gave but it didn't break. With a bit more effort it finally crumbled letting her down into the water bellow. She sighed in pleasure as proper cold enveloped her skin but especially the sole of her foot which had landed on a second layer of ice that was lining the bottom of the tub.
While that all felt wonderful it wasn't enough.
Flinging off her top Harriet made quick work with her foot breaking the surface to expand the hole to be just big enough for her body to fit through. Once it was of a size she stepped fully into the tub and slid herself through the whole and under the ice. Once she was settled she discovered there weren't actually two separate layers of ice. Kreacher had frozen the water from the outside in all around the tub and the surface of the water. It was like a lovely ice cocoon with a cold almost frozen liquid center with chunks of ice and slush mixed in with the water. She sighed in bliss as she sank along the ice lined bottom of the tub until he head slipped down bellow the surface.
She stayed down for as long as she could go on holding her breath. The last time she'd timed it she could last ten minutes. Ten minutes to let the sweet cold fight back the heat in her body until it claimed all her skin vanquishing the retched itch that seemed designed to tempt her into scratching her skin away. She swore sometimes it felt like there was something underneath trying to exasperate her into scratching away the cage that held it inside, letting the irritating demon it out to meet the world. Sometimes she was tempted to give in but the cold settled the monster making it happy in its cage.