TDWP: The Devil's Mistress Ch. 4
Hugs and kisses led to perhaps and maybes.
Actually, it was one hug and one kiss. The kiss had started off as a simple compression of the lips. Jayden, as if this were simply her nature, had swiped Miranda's lips with her tongue as a parting gesture. It was like a switch being thrown. The next thing they both knew, the older woman had Jayden pinned to her desk, drawing those kisses deeper.
Miranda barely managed to pull back, eyes dark and startled. She was overwhelmed by sensation. "I beg your pardon. I am so..."
"Gracious, woman. Don't stop. What are you saving yourself for? Christmas? Andy won't go first. She won't because it's a hang up with her about having forced you to choose her or some such nonsense. Anyone who loves her, gets this about her. She wants you to choose her because it's a real choice, so she throws you at everyone in the world until she can accept that you come to her out of want. It's weird, but it's her. She won't be jealous. She might be envious. But she'll be more open to loving you and letting you in. Are you hearing me, Miranda?"
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Aside from the fact that I want to feel you in me? How about I love our Mistress and want her to be happy. How about, we all knew there was someone she was waiting for and thought she'd never have. Yet...here you impossibly are, and I see a chance to help make her a bit more whole."
"And if I want her to be ... first? Which, I will point out, is hardly a possibility. I am not a virgin by any stretch."
"Oh, I think in some ways you are, yes." Jayden glanced down meaningfully and then back up into those blue eyes. Then she narrowed her own gaze, "On the other hand, maybe it's perfect. Maybe of all of us, you should be the one to try. At least once. To see if she'll let the barriers down now. I can wait." Jayden grinned, lifted her hands and cupped Miranda's face. "I think." She kissed the older woman warmly. "If you are serious about this, set up a lunch. She's pretty good about keeping appointments, barring surprises. I'll talk with Lisle to insure it. If it doesn't work..."
"You will be the first to know and you may consider it a date." Miranda said firmly, choices made.
Miranda left Jayden's feeling much more like herself, if slightly more sultry than when she'd first gone in.
- TDWP -
Miranda was surprisingly undismayed about her encounter with Jayden. She still managed to accomplish her main tasks, and had learned something new in the process. More, her fear that her own inhibitions might stand in the way had been summarily dismissed. Apparently inhibitions had nothing to do with how she may or may not respond. Thoughtfulness, on the other hand...
She had been given plenty of room think, to ponder, to ruminate. Jayden's kiss had merely been the spark on the pile of thought and other necessities that pushed and tugged at Miranda.
Besides, there had been other reasons, which had been with her a long time, that Miranda was not one prone to being overly touchy. Those reasons, among them her tactile synesthesia, were somewhat moot in this particular scenario. Socially, she was in a much freer environment, had no personal obligation to present a front of distance, and was not running a magazine. In fact, she had no particular responsibilities at the moment except to see to her own needs.
That realization was a revelation of sorts. One might call her current condition a vacation, were it not for the fact she was, by all accounts, enslaved. A part of her mused that she might not have put it past her ex-assistant to enforce a vacation mindset, simply because she thought Miranda needed it. It was more evidence in the an expanding list of "things that motivate Andrea," which the editor was building.
Motivation was a means of communication and right now Andrea had most of the cards, but Miranda might have more than she originally thought.
The silver-haired woman set those thoughts aside for a moment. She planned on speaking with Lisle soon, but she had one more task that she wished to complete first. She wanted to see how her children were faring. She checked their status in the net and then made her way to the educational side of the compound. This time there was a flurry of people of varying ages entering or exiting the building. Classes were in session.
She wondered if there was a map of Elias-Clark in the network. She knew the building as far as the important offices were concerned, but the fact that Andrea's facility was so thoroughly mapped indicated how modern her offices were. She realized there was an advantage to knowing and being able to tap into such information. Miranda tagged a mental note to pursue the question, and then followed the inner guide until she was near her children's classroom. Then, she chose the observation room.
Carolyn and Cassidy were seated next to each other, heads bowed they shared a textbook. Miranda counted five other children, not necessarily in the same age range, but apparently in similar learning ability. Their instructor moved around them, stopping to observe, assist or teach. She had a smile for each child, often getting on their level to communicate with them. Reassured that her children were being taken care of and treated well, Miranda watched for a little longer and then left.
She found it slightly amusing that her daughters actually had more work to do than she did. It made sense, however. School was a consistent presence in any child's life. It would provide useful normalcy. Miranda could appreciate the strategy of it. After all, the girls had been on vacation when the awful thing had happened.
She wondered who was holding them at night, if they were having nightmares. She wondered how they had managed to get so very lucky and felt, not for the first time since her arrival, a sense of good fortune. True, she might not have been spanked quite so... firmly... in her other life, but given druthers, she'd much rather Andrea have her than those nameless who intended such terrible things. Here, at least, she could see her children. It was possible that they might even know she was watching. They were sensitive that way, much like herself.
And, like herself, her children were imaginative and creative and all those wonderful things, but they had an under-girding of rationality which many their age lacked. They would be alright in the long run, but for now she wished she could be there for them. And she wondered if pride were all that was keeping her from them. She knew that they would not care that she had no voice, could not read what they brought to her, even though the neural interface had mostly mitigated that part of what had originally kept her from her children. She wondered if she would need to ask Andrea's permission to see them, if she ought to...
It was her fault that she even had to ask the question. It was her choice to bring her children overseas during these tumultuous times. It had been her choice to go sightseeing.
It was not pride keeping her from her children. It was shame. And anger.
Emotions that, as the adult, she had to manage and could manage, for their sake. She concluded that her children might appear to be doing well, but imagined that even as understanding as they might be, there was no substitute for seeing. For knowing. Had she not said so to Andrea?
She still had to ask first. It was a matter of showing she understood what had happened, had owned the why of it. Miranda added a tick to her mental lunch agenda. Ask about the children. Seduce Andrea. Both of them equally challenging, for different reasons.
- TDWP -
Miranda checked the net, this time seeking Lisle. She was well aware that the blonde had a propensity to be anywhere that Andrea was, which was appropriate to her job. She was also aware that she did not necessarily wish to have Andrea overhear their conversation. Or, rather, if she did, that it be weighted in Miranda's favor that she should do so.
She wasn't sure whether to be glad or resigned that Lisle appeared to be at her desk. She put a small note in the system to let the blonde know she was on her way to ask yet another favor. Really, she was racking them up with that young lady. She wondered, and felt a brief flash of desire spark, if Lisle also considered hugs, kisses, perhaps and maybes sufficient collateral.
Though a bit surprising, the thought was not entirely random, nor was it one that she dismissed. She was beginning to understand that this was what she had been warned about. Right now, they were pleasant thoughts, hints of possibility which were springing up more often than she might be used to. In a few hours, they might be mental demands, one she might feel helpless against. She had read the pamphlets and the notes Dr. Montgomery had provided. She had visited the sites that were available locally.
What surprised her was not that she might have the feelings. What surprised her was the sense of not caring that she was having the feelings. How completely natural it all felt. The lack of alarm, the willingness to experiment. If the situation was truly as she suspected, she doubted that this was what her original 'programming' entailed. She knew, however, that her Andrea would not have allowed that. She would have found a way, or created a way if she had to, to circumnavigate the negative feelings that such thoughts and feelings would normally instigate. Instead, Miranda was distanced enough to, not necessarily trust the feelings, but to accept them.
It was an utterly different sensation than what she had become used to.
Towards the end, being with Stephen had become painful and jarring, made even worse with the way her mind processed her sense of touch. The memory had stayed with her, insulating her further from the world. She might air kiss at an event, but she had already started to avoid the smaller touches as being too traumatic and intrusive. Sitting on Andrea's lap had put Miranda in a completely different state of mind. It had not just been the command that had made her sink so completely into the embrace. Her synesthesia had contributed and one thing had been made very clear, Andrea felt good. Perhaps they had not been completely skin to skin, but there had been enough contact that she had been able to "read" that her owner, her Mistress, had meant what she was saying. And that had been much more soothing than Miranda had expected, to be so fully within Andrea's clasp.
She had been brought full circle, it seemed. Ironically, one might say her captors had done her several favors. Nothing mitigated the kidnapping, of course, and she could not be said to be kindly disposed toward them. But, she could admit that some good had come out of the experience.
Miranda arrived at the foyer leading to Andrea's office and slowed her pace. She was very mindful of her earlier entrance. Lisle had not issued any warning, so she felt somewhat sure that she was not going to be interrupting. She pushed the door open and glanced inside, spotting only Lisle at her desk.
"Do you have a moment?"
The blonde's smile was warm, welcoming. "Absolutely. Come on in Miranda. I've been waiting for you."
- TDWP -
Lisle, it turned out, was quite amenable to many things, including penciling in Miranda's lunch request and means of repayment for favors done. Thus the editor found herself sitting on the edge of the assistant's desk and engaging in a very thorough, if leisurely kiss. A part of her mind assessed the notion that Andrea had been correct in her appraisal of her assistant as safe for Miranda. The other was enjoying the way the kiss was slowly intensifying. She only vaguely noticed the sound of heels moving toward them, and really, did not quite care.
"Lisle, I was wondering if you could check this number for me, it just doesn't ring ri..." Andrea's voice faltered to a halt, much like her steps.
Miranda, who had not instigated the kiss, was not inclined to stop it right that moment either. She let the blonde lead and intuit the natural pause. They parted slowly, breathing not quite even, but not overly heavy. Lisle said, "That was lovely, thank you Miranda." Then she turned her attention to her employer, her expression turning businesslike in a flash. "Of course, Andy." She stepped away to take papers from the brunette's hands.
Miranda allowed her attention, still heavy-lidded, to turn toward Andrea. She wasn't sure what she was expecting to see; shock perhaps or anger. Instead she caught the flicker of many things; want, fluster and more than a hint of enjoyment. Passion. Andrea's gaze was taking in Miranda's just kissed appearance and making something more of it, embellishing behind her eyes.
She had liked seeing the kiss. How unexpected. Miranda's blue eyes glinted as she took in the fine flush of color gracing the brunette's skin and she allowed her gaze to roam, with just a hint of predator behind it. "Andrea," she drawled, feeling the power of the name on her tongue. "I've made an appointment with you. I do hope you keep it."
She slid off the desk and approached Lisle. Patting the blonde's rear once and gently, "I shall speak with you again."
Lisle grinned, not at all phased. She winked, "I look forward to it."
Then, her blood full of fire, Miranda sauntered past the stunned Andrea without looking back.
When the door to the foyer clicked closed, Lisle said, completely unperturbed and as she perused the papers Andrea had given her, "Lunch is at one."
- TDWP -
Having made the invitation, Miranda spent the rest of the morning preparing. She had originally intended to visit other departments and get to know Andrea's facility better, but decided that her current endeavor was much more important. Though, in a way, she found the effort took her to several locations anyhow. By the time she was done, she had a good working idea of the layout of the facility and a lunch that she expected would be quite enjoyable.
It was then a matter of presentation, something she excelled at. She had learned long ago that she could let anxiety sap her strength, or she could utilize it. By the appointed time, everything was as ready as she could make it and then some. She was only a tiny bit nervous and that related not to the lunch or her person, but rather to her intentions.
She wondered, very briefly, if Andrea would find a reason to be late or even absent.
The chime rang three minutes before the hour. Miranda smiled. Some habits, she knew, stayed with one.
She looked at herself in the mirror, just for a quick once over, then put on her most neutral expression. It would not do to appear to be too excited.
"Andrea," she greeted her guest. "Please come in."
The brunette stepped in, lightly cautious, but curious all the same. "Thank you, Miranda. I hope you don't mind if I cut to the question?"
Miranda quirked a brow, and walked further into the abode, toward the dining area. "If you must," she answered. "Lunch awaits, however, and you might as well wait until we are at least seated. After all, your time is valuable."
Andrea found it difficult to argue with the logic and so she followed Miranda, who in an uncharacteristic act, held the younger woman's seat. "I have an abundant supply of coffee and tea to offer, but no spirits. Would you like either? Or water?"
"Tea, please? Green."
Andrea spent a few seconds watching Miranda putter, then looked down at her plate. It was covered. She touched the metal surface and found it warm to the touch. "Why did you invite me to lunch?"
"Because I wanted your company, had need to ask you one or two things, and wanted to do it on a friendly level. Also, it provides a nice context for speaking with one another. Shall I provide another reason?"
Andrea blinked, considered. "No. Thank you."
Miranda set a cup beside her plate and then, coffee in hand, took her own seat. "I hope you enjoy the meal. If you would like to start?"
"Oh. Right." Andrea lifted the lid and set it aside, then gazed in appreciation at her food. "It looks lovely."
"Thank you." Miranda waited patiently, expression mild, and sipped her coffee.
Andrea took a bite, hummed appreciatively and closed her eyes. "Oh. This is very good."
"I'm glad it pleases you."
The brunette widened her eyes, but Miranda, by then was apparently focused on her own lunch. "I have been rethinking my position on my daughters. I hope you don't mind me asking, but I was wondering if it might be possible to see them on a more personal level than the display screen? I will understand if you say no."
"I will not ever, ever keep you from your children Miranda. They are yours." Andrea paused, looking slightly startled, "and mine. Would you like them to move in with you?"
Miranda had already strongly considered the option, but it depended on a few factors. "Where are they residing now?"
Andrea said the words very carefully, "With me." She clarified, "At my place. I have a lot of space and I just thought they could do with being near someone they knew."
Miranda replied, just as carefully. "I am very glad to know that they are in your care. I had been worried that they might be ... too alone. What they went through, what they saw, it was very scary for them."
"And for you."
"Yes. You were right to allow me time to process it. I'm still doing so, but am ... if not at a reasonable place... better able to cope. I appreciate your patience with me. I can not imagine what you thought when you realized how terribly I had failed them."
Miranda had not intended to cry, had not intended the sudden ache that threatened to consume her whole. She set her utensils aside. "If you will excuse me, please?"
"Miranda," Andrea stood up as she did, and clasped the other woman by the arm. "It's not your fault that you were kidnapped. I know... how I made it sound, but... it was an act of opportunity. An opportunity that someone was apparently already in the position to take advantage of. The people who masterminded this plot did so with every intention of following through, and they simply chose one moment out of many. It could have happened at any time, and almost anywhere. Even back ho... in the States. You can feel it, but you don't have to carry this blame, this guilt."
"I'm afraid, if you don't let go of my arm, I shall do something uncouth like wipe my other arm across my eyes. I need a moment to compose myself. It was not my intention to burden you with my feelings. I promise I shall return."
Instead of letting go of the older woman's arm, Andrea drew her closer, and liberated a napkin from a holder. The silver-haired woman wouldn't quite look at her, but did not say anything as the brunette made a few gentle swipes along her cheeks and under her eyes. They were standing very close. "Burden me," Andrea said gently, with a quality of empathy in her gaze, which Miranda had almost long ago forgotten. "Tell me where it hurts, when it hurts. I want to know how you feel. I always..."
Her tears weren't forgotten, not at all, but full lips were much too close to ignore. Miranda's free arm wrapped around Andrea's supple waist, then her mouth found the younger woman's. The kiss, though salted, was full and sweet.
Miranda deliberately, carefully disengaged the kiss. Andrea's eyes were closed, her expression a mixture of serene and passion. "I was going to wait until after lunch. I planned on having to convince you to kiss me."
Andrea leaned against the other woman, whose arm still wrapped around her. "I planned on being difficult."
"Naturally. I had heard you were challenging. I was looking forward to the convincing, but I'm not sure I'm up for games. Or rather, not the emotional ones. I... have played so many in my time." Andrea freed Miranda's arm and held her close. "Stay with me? Or, at least, if you don't wish to finish lunch, come sit with me in the parlor? Or..."
"Shh. Miranda. Lunch can keep. Or we can order more. Do you really want to sit?"
"No. I'd rather lay down."
"Your room then?"
"If you don't find the invitation too forward. Right now... I just want to be held and if it should lead to... well... I would like to be with you that way too. If not, immediately." Miranda looked up into warm brown eyes. "I would have wanted that anyway. If you had come home, I would have pursued you. Just so you know."
Andrea kissed Miranda's forehead and stepped back, taking one of Miranda's hands in her own. "Show me your room?"
- TDWP -
Miranda's arms wrapped around Andrea from the back, under and over. She pulled her tight, hip to hip, breast to back. She had been serious about holding the younger woman; needed the solid experience of the other person. She had thought the younger woman was dead, after all. Gone forever. The recent days had been filled with shock after shock, personal and delirious and amazing. They were catching up with Miranda and she wasn't sure she wanted those umber-brown eyes seeing how much. So, they spooned together, and Andrea allowed it; perhaps understanding why. Miranda may have pushed buttons on that far day, but she had also been a little correct. They had their likenesses; social enough to pass, but the need for privacy too.
Andrea smelled good, lightly perfumed, but not overwhelmingly so. Just enough. Just right to lean into. Her dark tresses with the sparest hint of russet, spread silkily on the pillow and part of Miranda's upper arm. The older woman rubbed her face against it, feeling the texture and color slide sensually against her cheek.
They had never had this. This intimacy had never been possible when they were employer and employee. It was not something Miranda would have pursued or even allowed herself to imagine. It wasn't until after Andrea went missing that she realized how sharply her feelings had grown and matured.
Miranda was afraid her grip was too tight, and yet it tightened further, as if she could somehow meld Andrea into her, soak up the contact between them. They were not yet skin to skin, but there was enough where their legs touched and the rest of them touched. It made Miranda's senses sing, tightened her throat so sounds could not escape even if she wanted them to.
She pressed her lips against Andrea's neck, softly. The brunette clasped one of Miranda's hands in her own, squeezed it lightly and sighed. The older woman closed her eyes, let the rest of her senses cope for a while.
"Miranda?"
"Yes?"
"Touch me."
"Is that an order?" Amusement glazed the words, softened them.
"Do you want it to be?" Andrea offered the oh-so-careful query.
"Some other time, if not today. I could trust you, I think. I'm ... I... have mixed emotions about where you and I stand as Slave and Mistress. As a game once played, there was liberation, but I could always stop it. Except once. And even then... I question my motivations."
"I'm turning around."
Miranda did not reply, but drew back enough to let the other woman maneuver, until they were looking at each other.
"Who hurt you?"
"Andrea, everyone and everything hurts me sometimes. The Book has often daily scoured my senses with travesty."
The younger woman laid her hand on Miranda's hip and let it slide down to caress. "You are avoiding the question."
"Spank me if you must, but some things are very private. As you well know. But if you must have a time, think of the day on the stairwell, when you first made your delivery."
"You were ... terrible to me after."
"Yes. I was terrible to everyone, as I recall, but you especially." Miranda's eyes seemed to glow, blue and fervent. "But you rose to the occasion, didn't you? Broke the rules and created a miracle."
"I'd say you were still avoiding the question, but you answered. You just haven't... answered what I really want to know."
"No. I won't tell you. I certainly lived and it wasn't the worst thing in my life. Then again. I have a new measuring stick, haven't I? But, I will say this to you. It was my choice. I gave the option to him one time, because I had to try, didn't I? But I knew even then, it wasn't enough and nothing between I and Stephen would ever be the same. Some things require trust and ours was frankly broken."
Andrea's voice ached for the other woman, "Miranda..."
Because she could not bear that look, Miranda kissed her. She took Andrea's face between her palms and claimed those beautiful lips for herself. Urgency and desire flavored the kiss, extended it. She only drew back when breathless and even then, reluctantly. "I want this. I want you. And need you. Not because of any stupid hormonal drive or design feature, though I accept it may be pushing my agenda. But I knew that if I ever saw you again, I would pursue you. It... might have taken longer, but you would have been mine."
"You'd have," Andrea breathed, smiling wistfully, "... given me some haughty, blank look and I'd have smiled like a doofus to get it. Back then."
"I'd have given you a whole twenty-four hours to come find me before I'd figure some way..."
"... to spin my world."
"Yes." Miranda groaned as Andrea shifted, until her thigh was between the older woman's legs. "If it affects your decision, should you say no, I have a date planned with Jayden. I just want you to know I've taken your lectures to heart."
Andrea searched Miranda's face. Then said, with wonder. "You have, haven't you?" Then, she asked with tumbling haste, "Would you keep it if I said yes?"
Miranda tilted her head and stared into Andrea's eyes. "I don't know. I'm not sure I thought about that at all. I assumed an either-or. Would it... I don't even know how to phrase the question, Andrea. I have no social norm for this. But I can say... the idea of you being excited about it, excites me. For some reason."
Andrea licked her lips. "Would it excite you to see me with Lisle?"
Miranda felt a flush rush through her and was taken aback. "Apparently so."
The younger woman chuckled throatily. "Then you have the answer."
"Well." Miranda replied. She slid her hand along thigh, then hip, and then waist. "I'm going to undress you know, unless you have an objection?"
"No. Please do." Andy grinned. "I'll even help."
"So long as you do not hinder."
- TDWP -