3 I just want to take a moment to thank profusely all those who have reviewed. I have every intention of responding to each of you, but the nature of the story makes it difficult. I think we would mostly be handing each other virtual tissues. :'-)
I spend a ridiculous amount of time refreshing my browser. Is there a new review? Is there a new review? You all make me giddy when you make that little icon change. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 3

Hey – It's still Monday! Look at that! I really hope this meets expectations…

Chapter 4 – in which we finally meet 'her.'

oO0Oo Chapter 4: The Beginnings of Acceptance

When Gus arrived at his parent's house, he explained to the two of them why he was there. His mother surprised him by breaking down in tears. It seemed to Gus that his parents had always gone back and forth about whether or not they liked Shawn. At times, they had treated him like a second son, but at others, they were suspicious and cold and called him a 'bad influence.' He was never quite sure where they stood with his best friend. But they were both terribly upset to hear of his passing.

Gus left his mom in his dad's arms and went woodenly up the stairs to the attic. Finding the boxes clearly labelled, 'Burton - McKinley - K-6,' he pulled up a dusty stool and sat down.

Before he opened the boxes, he sat for a moment in thought. It surprised him that he had yet to really shed a tear. It was so unlike him. He'd known that Shawn was gone for almost twenty-four hours now, and he only felt numb. He supposed that was normal, but it didn't seem right. Then he remembered what Juliet had told him about acting and not thinking and realized she was right. They needed to solve this case. They needed to protect whoever this girl was and find out who killed Shawn. Then he would allow himself to feel.

He pulled the first box closer and opened its flaps. The stack of papers lying on top of the rest of the memorabilia would not help him figure out what Shawn had meant when he'd said 'tell Gus third grade.' It was only a bunch of report cards. His kindergarten report sat right on top, bound to the others with a rubber band. He was about to set them to the side when he noticed something. It was in the teacher's comments section: "Burton is a very bright student, very eager to learn. He and Shawn need to work on listening during class time."

Gus stared at the words. Shawn. Kindergarten. Best friends from day one.

Quickly, he paged through the rest of the reports, and every single one had some mention of Shawn. He set them to the side and began pulling other mementos from the box. So many of the items contained Shawn's name, or his writing, or a doodle he'd made in the margin of Gus's otherwise tidy work.

Those that did not actually carry his mark reminded Gus of him. The dinosaur project about which Shawn had teased him; the creative writing assignment he'd written based on one of Shawn's wild stories (he'd gotten an 'A' for originality). He remembered the two of them giggling hysterically as they brainstormed ideas for their first 'research' report. He'd written his on alien sightings. Shawn had written his on burps.

One after another, Gus pulled memories from the box until it was empty. Then he stared into the emptiness and marveled at how it was an analogy for his life. When you took out everything that Shawn had touched, there was nothing left.

His life sat empty before him now that Shawn was gone.

Sitting in his parent's attic, on a dusty, three-legged stool, Gus put his face in his hands and wept.

oO0Oo

Lassiter and O'Hara had just spent over an hour searching all the hiding places Gus had suggested, plus found a few more. They didn't find anything that helped with the case, but Juliet was beginning to wonder if she had ever really known her boyfriend. Actually, at the moment, she was wondering if anyone truly knew Shawn Spencer.

Many of the hiding places had been empty, but others hadn't been. One held comic books, a few of which looked very old but were in excellent condition. They were hidden with a note that said "retirement fund."

Another held a stack of papers, all related to her. There were photos of her and of the two of them together. There were notes she had written to him, and the postcards she'd sent him from Florida when she'd gone home for a visit last Christmas. She was surprised to see sketches of herself, apparently done by Shawn. They were quite good. She'd never known he could draw. At the very bottom she found a flattened, wrinkled straw wrapper, and she gasped.

"I was sitting right there three minutes ago, and then I went outside to get myself a paper. I ordered the juice, and look - I made a crawling snake with the straw wrapper. You can finish it if you think you're up to the job…"

Was it possible this was that straw wrapper? Was it possible Shawn had kept it as a memento of their first meeting? She felt her tenuous control begin to crumble. Had he really cared for her even then?

Her partner rescued her. He'd found the cubby under the kitchen floorboards. He called her over, and she sniffed, wiped her eyes, and joined him, kneeling down near the hole in the floor. This hidden compartment was filled with small sculptures, apparently made out of used chewing gum. Juliet had to smile because this one also held a note that said "retirement fund."

Underneath those was a stack of well-handled notes. They were the equivalent of fan mail: commendations from the police, a few actual letters from people Psych had helped over the years. Tucked between two newspaper clippings was a note from his dad. From the condition of the paper, it looked to be many years old. It had been torn from a larger sheet of paper and it simply read, "Nice job."

Continuing her search, she found a large box of 'rat poison' stuffed in the recesses under the sink. It turned out to be a clever hiding place for a bundle of correspondence from people Juliet had never heard Shawn mention. The return addresses were from all over the country, and a few were international. They must be people he'd met on his travels. She vowed to spend time going over those in detail and contacting every one of Shawn's friends to let them know he was gone.

In the same box were documents from different schools, colleges and universities. They were evidence that Shawn had taken a few classes during his travels, some audited, some for credit, but there was everything from archaeology to zoology. She shook her head in amazement.

While she was studying those, Lassiter was going through the items stacked haphazardly next to the TV. He knocked over some childish handheld game, and when he picked it up to put it back, it rattled. Concerned he'd broken it, he inspected it more closely… and that was when he found the ring.

Glancing at O'Hara, who was still engrossed in the box she'd found under the sink, he turned it over in the palm of his hand. It glinted in the light. Should he show it to her? Should he let her know that her boyfriend had at least considered proposing marriage? Would it only cause unnecessary pain?

This was no time for lies and secrets. "O'Hara," he said softly.

She got up and came over to see what he had discovered. Having placed the ring back into its hiding place, he tilted the game to give her a view.

She froze, staring. She didn't even breathe. Finally she whispered, "Oh, Shawn…" and gently reached for the elegant piece. Turning it slowly, she was mesmerized as it caught the light and sparkled. Suddenly, she closed the ring in her fist, ran to the bathroom, and slammed the door behind her. Lassiter heard the soft sobs and closed his eyes.

A moment later, he took a deep breath, set the game down gently, and continued his search.

Ten minutes later, O'Hara emerged. Carlton looked at her in concern, but steely eyed, she only nodded at him. After returning the ring to its hiding place, she continued to search.

Finally they paused, realizing this task was far more daunting than they had expected.

Lassiter looked at her and shook his head in wonder. "I never really knew him." Glancing around the office, he amended, "I never took the time to try -"

Before she could respond, they were interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He put it to his ear. "Lassiter."

He listened for a moment, then lowered the phone and said, "We need to get over to Spencer's."

oO0Oo

A long time later, Gus came back down the stairs. His parents were there waiting for him.

"Gus, honey, how are you doing?" his mother asked gently.

Gus sniffed and nodded, his eyes still red. "I'm okay, Mom. I should go."

"Your phone rang while you were upstairs," she told him.

Gus raised his eyebrows at that. He hadn't realized he'd put it on the table in the foyer with his keys. He should have had it with him in case one of the others discovered something.

But his mom was still talking. "It was the police chief. She wanted to talk to you, but I didn't want to disturb you. I told her you'd call her as soon as you could."

Gus went to his phone immediately and dialed.

His mom was still talking, miffed at Chief Vick's attitude. "She was very insistent. She should be more sensitive, considering."

But then the Chief answered. "Mr. Guster, could you please come to the Spencer home as soon as possible?"

"I'll be right there, Chief." And Gus was gone.

oO0Oo

Karen and Henry were silent on the drive over from the station. Karen drove, and Henry stared out the window. The only sign of his distress was how he would occasionally run a hand over his face or scalp.

Before they'd left the precinct, he'd tried to call Maddie. Not surprisingly, she hadn't answered. When the call went to voicemail, he froze. You cannot leave that kind of information in a message, so he'd just asked her to call him. Unfortunately, he knew from experience that, depending on her schedule, it could be days before she would return his call. He resolved to keep trying until he was able to reach her.

He finally spoke when they had nearly reached his house. "What'd he get himself into, Karen? Why couldn't he tell us? Why didn't he tell me?"

Karen thought for a moment before answering. "Your son was many things, Henry, including an amazing detective. One thing he was not was stupid. You know he believed he had a good reason for not speaking. I suspect it was to protect us. Shawn wanted to keep all of us safe." But then they were pulling into the driveway and Henry was out of the car.

Was it possible that someone was hiding in his house? He proceeded to check all the places he'd considered on the drive over. There was no way the girl was in Shawn's closet. It was a roomy closet, but not for almost a week, so he started in the garage. Then he checked the garage attic, but everything was as he'd left it.

They had a crawl space under the house, and he knew Shawn had occasionally hidden there as a child. It was quite low and dirty to boot, but Henry checked it anyway, Karen following behind.

After a quick glance through every room in the house, closets included, he headed up to the attic. He had almost dismissed it as a possibility because his own bedroom was directly under the main portion of the attic and he highly doubted anyone could move about up there without him knowing.

When they first entered, everything looked perfectly normal. It certainly looked like a typical attic to Karen. But Henry's keen gaze quickly began to pick out a few oddities. The first was the moving blankets. Not really out of place in an attic, it was unusual for them to be spread all over the floor. Usually they were folded and stacked neatly under the window. Henry suspected Shawn had put them there to cushion any footfalls.

Then Henry noticed something else. He held up a hand to send a message of caution and quiet to Karen and began to silently move forward. As he had scanned the room, a small smirk had caught his lips. His son was good. The boxes at the far end of the attic looked to be stacked against the wall just as they had been for years. Not even the dust had been disturbed. But the entire wall of cartons had been shifted away from the wall a few feet, enough to create a tiny, invisible room behind them.

And of course, that section of the attic was above Shawn's old room, a place Henry rarely went.

He moved to the edge of the stack, where he knew the 'doorway' had to be. Then he stepped around the corner.

What he saw was a cozy little nook. A foam pad covered with blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals made a nice bed. There was a small box with a lamp on it, and several of Shawn's old books and a few of his electronic games that still worked were scattered about.

Most importantly, he saw the girl. She was a young thing, about ten or eleven, blond and pretty. Sitting in the corner, she was dressed in jeans and one of Shawn's old sweatshirts, and she was totally, absolutely terrified.

Henry instantly relaxed and went into non-threatening-dad mode. He knelt to be more at her level, and spoke soothingly. "Hey, it's okay. I'm Shawn's dad. I'm your friend, and no one is going to hurt you." He put out a hand to her.

For a moment, she seemed to relax. Her eyes glanced over at one of the boxes, and Henry saw that photos of himself, Gus, Juliet, Lassiter, and even Karen were taped there. Smiley faces were drawn on the cardboard boxes above the pictures, except Juliet's, which had smiles, hearts, and curlicues surrounding it. It was Shawn's way of reminding her who the friendlies were - just in case.

She had just started to move toward him when Karen appeared behind him. Instantly she shrank back into the mattress, grabbing a pillow and hugging it to her she made little gasping noises. Karen immediately backed off, knowing she had frightened the girl, but she didn't leave. She just gave her gentlest smile and waited quietly for Henry to continue.

"That's Karen. She's my friend and Shawn's, too. See the picture?" He gestured, and the girl followed his direction, relaxing slightly once she had connected the person with the photo. "She won't hurt you either, okay?" Henry frowned slightly when the girl still didn't say anything. She was watching his face very closely as he spoke. Slowly, she lowered the pillow, but she still didn't move.

That was when he realized: she wasn't watching his face, she was watching his lips. He murmured over his shoulder, "Karen, I think she's deaf."

He frowned at the floor for a moment, trying to remember what little sign language he had picked up over the years. Then he looked up at her and, over-emphasizing his enunciation to help her lip-reading, he said, and tried to sign, "I'm Shawn's dad. I won't hurt you."

Then the girl giggled because, while she had caught the gist of what Henry was trying to say, what he had signed was, "I'm Shavr father. I no tired you."

Henry chuckled, realizing he must have botched his message horribly, and once again held out his hand to her. Then she threw herself into his arms and clung tightly.

Henry just held her. Belatedly, he wondered who was getting more comfort from the act - the (probably) fatherless girl, or the now son-less father.

Karen stepped away and took out her phone.

oO0Oo
TBC…
oO0Oo

*ducks head and waves tissues in surrender*

I will just warn you – the first half of the next chapter is, imho, the most bitter-sweet. It was the saddest part for me to write.