There are a few ways into boarding school.
Money, which S doesn't have, clearly, as they cannot even go on vacation in the summer.
Good grades, which Sarah doesn't have, for obvious reasons.
Exceptional sport accomplishments, which nobody knows whether Sarah could have, because she never attends PE.
Connections, which S only has in England and Sarah only has with the local drug circle (and those don't count for this kind of business).
So, for Sarah, there is no way into boarding school. Bohoo. How sad.
It could all be fine. It could all be fine, If there wasn't someone else in their family, that actually meets requirements.
"You just have to ruin the interview", Sarah says, easily. It's all easy to her. She cannot see the problem (their problem). She has a lot of other problems (shared problems, but not really shared, just in thought, but still, shared, that's what they do).
"How do I do this?" Helena's eyes follow the little spider at the high end of the wall, slowly dangling down. (where are you going, can I come).
Sarah shrugs, but Helena doesn't see that. Helena sees the spider dangling down at the high end of the wall behind Sarah's feet. "Well, you gotta talk about things that other people don't want to hear. That they might find uncomfortable."
"Like Jesse?", Helena perks up. A girl at their school asked about her boyfriend and Helena told her they were having 'loads of sex', which put the girl off. (Sarah, though, Sarah laughed and she flung her arm around Helena, flung her arm around her sestra, because they need another word, they're not just twins, not just sisters, sestra, it's holy, it's them, Sarah flung her arm around Helena and they laughed, together)
"Yeah... no... that might seem like you're totally sociable. Which you are." Sarah blinks. "But they mustn't know, right?" (we cannot let them see us).
Now Helena is shrugging and wiggling and she sits up. "What else?"
"Er... that you like your broccoli with sugar... about your wings?"
Helena frowns. "What about them?"
Sarah sighs, shakes her head. Helena doesn't see. "Nothing. Nothing."
A week of coaching should have Helena up and ready to absolutely crush this interview. And not 'crush' it in a good way, but really crush something for example the teacher's hand. She would only sprain, not break, obviously. But that should suffice, Sarah says.
"You'll crush it for us?" Sarah is not allowed to come. She's supposed to stay home and watch Felix. (Lies, lies S tells them, because why would Sarah have to stay with Felix If uncle Benjamin is there watching both of them, that's not true).
"Yes, much crushing", Helena nods.
They hug. It's not goodbye.
And she really wants to. She really wants to. But oh. They trick her.
Helena is not that good at resisting tricks. Mrs. S was very angry that one time she followed the guy, who wanted to show her kittens. Sarah stopped her. Felix tattled on her. And Mrs. S lectured her about something called stranger danger. Helena let them do all that. But what nobody knows is that her problem doesn't lie in seeing through the tricks (she sees so much more than ordinary people), the problem lies in Helena seeing and accepting. She's in it for the prize.
And at this school they pull a nice trick. Mrs. S and the teacher. Together (but not in the good way Sarah and Helena are together).
They tell her she can train. They tell her the interview will be later, so she's got the time. Time to participate in the training.
It's a trick. When it comes to things Helena likes, she cannot hide it. And she cannot say "no" when the teacher asks her whether she would like to train with them. Lying is a sin. But she knows. She knows she can't do that. So she doesn't say anything. She just doesn't decide.
But oh. Mrs. S is in on the whole thing. And Mrs. S says: "She's shy with strangers, but warms up real quickly." It sounds like an apology. Helena doesn't like that sound. Sarah would never apologise for her. If anything, she'd beat whoever thought Helena had something to apologise for.
"Let's get you out there, shall we?"
And Helena wants to say. And Helena wants to tell him that she doesn't like to be touched when he puts his hands on her back (between her shoulder blades, on her wings). And she wants to say that she cannot, that she will not play. And she wants to stop Mrs. S from putting her into hockey gear. And she wants to, she needs to, she has to...
And then she's there. Out on the field. She sees the goal, recognises her team mates as players she will support and just starts playing. She cannot help herself (sorry).
"I'm very proud of you, Helena", Mrs. S says, in the car.
Helena cries, soundlessly.
Sarah is mad.
At Helena. At S. At those teachers at this bloody school. At the world.
"How did this happen? We had it all planned", she says, running a hand through her hair that is the same but also so different from Helena's, pacing around her (their) room.
Helena stays silent. She knows Sarah doesn't really want any answers anyway.
"You've gotta do something so they throw you out of there", Sarah tells her. A new plan, that's good. That will save them.
But this plan is not good.
"I cannot do this", Helena whispers. Sarah is mad. Sometimes when Sarah's mad she says thing that later Sarah regrets. And Helena doesn't want to hear any of those things.
"Wha? What do you mean 'you cannot do this'? We do shit at school all the time. Just... smoke some weed, drink in class, dunno, something like that." Helena presses her lips together, sadly. Sarah doesn't know yet.
"This is our last straw. If we break it, we cannot finish school", Helena tells her, "Mrs. S says."
"S again, huh? She's your buddy now? Do you care what she thinks? Do you care about school more than you care about us being together?"
Helena's eyes widen. But she can't say no. She can't. Her mouth opens, but there's no sound.
"Oh! So. That's the deal." Sarah laughs that bitter laugh she laughs when watching Helena collect the glass shreds from the ground. The laugh she laughs when she leaves with a stranger assuring Helena it's okay. That laugh she laughs when S tells her she's disappointed. That laugh Helena hates (but not really, because she loves everything about Sarah, doesn't she, she does). "You want to go to this bloody school..."
Helena rises from the bed to cross over to where Sarah is standing, not pacing anymore, just standing still like a statue (statues are creepy). "It has a great sport program. And computers everywhere. We can skype and I can visit every weekend, Mrs. S said..."
"S and you really are best buddies now, huh? Real cute", Sarah spits. Literally. She spits. At Helena.
"It's only one more year", Helena whispers, her eyes falling from Sarah's mirror eyes to the ground.
"Well, If you wanna come to visit from your fancy school that you love so much, do it. But I won't be here waiting for you", Sarah screams. And leaves.
She doesn't come back before Helena is gone. She can't bear to say goodbye.
Disclaimer: Orphan Black and its respective characters belong to BBC America.