Author's Note:

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has read, followed, left a review. You guys are awesome and I hope you continue to enjoy this story!

This is an ejami/ejamily fic but just a warning, this chapter contains Sami and Rafe.

Sami steeled herself against the overwhelming tenderness she could feel rising in her at EJ's care and attention. In the simplest ways, he was breaking down all her walls. Walls she had spent years constructing to keep him out.

It had always been a struggle, because in moments like these, she was reminded of the man she had dreamt of being with all her life, her soulmate, Mr. Right. A man who was caring and thoughtful, a man who loved every part of her without reservation. That same man would choose her first, foremost, always. She had fought for that ideal with Austin, with Lucas even with Brandon. She schemed, she plotted, lied and manipulated because she was so convinced that each of them was that ideal.

It was interesting to note now she never fought for EJ. He was just always … there and so different from every other man in her life. He fought for her.

In the beginning, it wasn't something she could conceive, never mind appreciate and receive. So she pushed, refusing to let him get under her skin, convincing herself all she felt for him was anger and annoyance.

And yet …

He wedged himself firmly in her heart in a torrent of desire and need, care and anger. Now, she feared that once again having his child, feeling this new life that they had created growing inside her, would write him, even deeper than he already was, in her heart.

When the phone rang, she felt both relieved and agitated because she had been enjoying this moment with him, but knowing she shouldn't, the phone brought a welcome distraction. That is, until he spoke.

"It's Rafe," EJ said and Sami could tell he was schooling his features to remain impassive, and she appreciated that he didn't let his hatred for the man show.

She took a deep breath as she reached for the phone.

Rafe.

She loved him, of course she did, like she had loved Austin, like she had loved Lucas and unlike those men she didn't have a past built on mistakes and mistrust. He was a cop and a good one, upstanding, upright guy. He was the kind of man every woman wanted, stable, dependable and strong. He even loved her kids, which was extraordinary since none of them were actually his. He was a rare find.

So why aren't you happy? The still small voice inside her head asked.

I am happy! She countered vehemently, refusing to believe anything else.

She was as happy as any woman could expect to be. She and Rafe had met under extenuating circumstances and survived to tell the tale. They had escaped an assassin together and she nursed him back to health. He had been there when she had Sydney and when she came home. He had stayed with her and the kids despite having to give up his career. She loved him.

Then why did you sleep with EJ? The voice prodded.

Because of Johnny. I was in a vulnerable place, he was in a vulnerable place and we sought comfort with each other. She answered again, not without the thought that she really needed to stop having conversations with herself.

That night they slept together unnerved her, not because of the act, but rather the person. In that moment there was no one else she wanted to be with, no one else's arms she wanted around her. So it plagued her … Why hadn't she sought out Rafe? Why didn't she find the man she loved at the worst moment in her life?

Maybe you did. A soft whisper rose in her and Sami tensed.

EJ interrupted that disturbing thought with his voice, "Aren't you going to answer that?"

She realized then that her phone was still ringing. She pushed aside that lingering thought as one she would never revisit and answered, "Hey Rafe."

"Hey, I wasn't sure I would get you, but I'm so glad I did." She could hear the smile in his voice and it made her feel more guilty. "How are you? How are the kids? I miss you guys so much."

"I'm good and the kids are great. I … I miss you too," she turned away from EJ as she responded.

She didn't know why, it just seemed wrong to be telling one man, you missed him with the other you cheated with standing right there.

"I'm sorry this is taking so long, but I hope I can be back in a few weeks," he sighed before continuing, "But I promise to come bearing gifts, I got Johnny a new jacket."

"I'm sure he'll love it," she answered smiling, "Allie actually wanted a jacket too, for a minute, until she heard it doesn't come in pink, then she wasn't that interested anymore."

He laughed out loud at that, "Nope, no pink, though I should bring that up with the bureau. But, I was actually thinking of bringing a jacket back for someone else. Someone who would look good in it, and nothing else."

"Rafe Hernandez!" she gasped as he chuckled.

"Listen, honey. I've got to go. Tell the kids 'hi' for me and that I will see them soon. I love you."

"I love you too." With that she put down the phone.

It took a moment for Sami to turn back to EJ, but when she did, he was donning his coat and moving toward the door.

"EJ …" she called out to him and he stopped.

He turned, looking into her eyes before speaking, "I have a meeting to get to and since I came over to bring you the basket and to make sure you were fine, no reason I can't leave."

Sami didn't want him to leave. Before Rafe called they were … She wanted him to stay, but there was no way she could say that. There was no way she could admit that she needed him.

So she said, "Thank you … for bringing over the stuff for me. I appreciated it."

He smiled, but she noted it didn't reach his eyes as he nodded and opened the door.

Once he was gone, Sami sunk down once again into the couch, a great weight suddenly pressing on her chest and she had the distinct feeling she had made a terrible mistake.