AN: Just a reiteration that this chapter has mature content.

The Consequences of Heroic Acts

"I'm really glad you're okay, sir." There was desperation in her eyes that he hadn't seen before. The loss of Janet was hitting the base hard, but it had crushed any semblance of strength to be seen in his 2IC and despite the constant strain between them of late, he took her into his arms and simply held her like he used to. She smelt of rose scented shampoo, he placed a kiss to her head he rocked her gently. She was gripping to his jacket for dear life and sobs of terror and despair rocked through her.

"Wanna get out of here?" he asked, not really knowing why.

She nodded. "Yours."

No one questioned as he walked her out of the base, one arm over her shoulder. Everyone who needed to know anything knew the loss they were all experiencing. She was asleep in the passenger seat of his truck before he'd pulled out of the complex, and stayed that way until the crunch of gravel under the tires announced they'd arrived at their destination.

She dropped her handbag by the door and closed it behind her. She heard her phone ring but let it go to voicemail. Pete was out of town and she'd promised he'd call her yesterday. Only yesterday turned into today and while she knew who she should be turning to for comfort, here she was.

"Alcohol?" He looked over to Sam who was kicking her boots off by the front door.

"Yeah," she replied sadly. "The stronger the better."

"You betcha." He snatched a bottle of scotch from the fireplace mantle and pour two generous serves before handing one to Sam who'd made her way next to him. She transferred all the liquid to her mouth in one gulp and placed the glass down for another. He followed suit and poured two fresh glasses. She downed it in one go again. He raised an eyebrow questioningly at her and she merely glared back at him, silently telling him shut the hell up, drop it, and pour more alcohol. He obliged and put the lid on the bottle before making her sit on the couch.

"You have to sip that, this is really good scotch. You're supposed to enjoy it."

She let out a hollow laugh. "Oh I am enjoying it."

"No you're enjoying getting drunk, there's a difference."

She huffed at him and sat more comfortably, pulling her legs up underneath her and resting some of her weight on Jack.

"Janet could hold her alcohol really well. Drank me under the table whenever we had the chance. Did you know that?"

Jack chuckled softly, "I did not, I've gotta say it doesn't surprise me though."

Sighing, she rested her head on Jacks shoulder. "It seems so unfair. She spent her life trying to save everyone but in the end none of us could save her."

Jack didn't know what to say and opted to say nothing, placing his arm over her shoulder and pulling her closer before placing a soft kiss into her hair. He felt her eyelashes fluttered against his neck and it made him tingle. The moment was promptly interrupted by a buzz and beep coming from his pants pocket. He pulled his phone out and read the message from Daniel.

"Tell him to pick up pizza and come over," Sam's voice was soft and she hadn't bothered to move from her position, not needing to see the screen to know who it was from. She seemed to notice she was still in her BDU's. "Can you ask him to grab my change of clothes from my locker. They're in a black duffel bag in the top."

"He wanted to know where you were, he thought you'd absconded."

Sam giggled and he suppressed a groan. She knew immediately and decided to rub it in. "Sorry, sir. No giggling, got it." She giggled again.

"You're dangerous, Carter." His voice was guttural and he knew he needed to stand up. "I'm moving to beer, this stuff is expensive." He motioned to his nearly empty glass sitting on the table in front of them.

"Beer sounds good. You told him pizza?"

Nodding, Jack moved his sore body to the kitchen and grabbed a six pack out to bring with him. He rummaged in the pantry before he found some plain crisps.

"Heads up!"

Carter turned just in time to see the packet of crisps hurtling toward her and expertly intercepted them.

"Crisps and pizza?" she asked quizzically.

"And beer!" he held up the six pack enthusiastically.

"All the makings of a well rounded meal."

When O'Neill made his way back to the lounge room Sam had shuffled back so she was nestled into the corner of the couch and was seemingly ignorant of the ringing coming from the vicinity of her handbag near the door.

He ignored it the first time, and it stopped for a moment before starting to ring again. The second time it started he saw a flicker of recognition in Carters eyes followed by steeled determination.

"Uh, you gonna answer that? It's probably Pete."

She looked directly at him and he thought he was about to throw something heavy at his head. "No, sir."

"No you're not going to answer it or no it's not Pete." He cringed the second he asked it and if looks could kill he'd be dead a thousand times over.

"It's my personal phone, sir."

So it is Pete and she's not going to answer it.

The indirect information made him curious.

"How's it going with Pete these days?"

"Are you kidding me?" She glared at him. "Fine, they're fine. I just don't feel like talking to anyone yet."

And yet here she is. He felt slightly smug at the knowledge he was more desirable for comfort. She could tell him an abridged version of what happened, and Pete would have enough knowledge to fill in the gaps, so while he could understand it was obvious that Sam thought Jack could understand her better.

"What happened to us, Jack?"

The question made him spit some of his beer out. He recovered quickly, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and swallowing the remainder of the mouth full.

"Nothing happened to us, Sam. We were foolish enough to think we could justify our relationship. I think it's fair to say we probably came to the same conclusion before we ended. We can't justify risking everything the SGC is for our own selfish desires."

She stared at her untouched beer pensively. "I still wanted to try."

Jack sighed. "We both wanted to try, Sam. I still want to try. The circumstances haven't changed for us. As long as the SGC needs us, we need to not need each other."

Daniel walked in unannounced, breaking the first real heart to heart since they'd ended. Teal'c followed holding two boxes of what was obviously pizza and a third mystery box he soon announced to be donuts. Sam looked into Jacks eyes for a moment, trying to convey everything she'd wanted to say before hesitantly removing herself from the couch to grab the boxes from Teal'c and place them on the coffee table.

"You grab my clothes, Daniel?" Daniel chucked the duffel bag at Sam who gave him a grateful smile. Daniel looked tired, and she had to admit Teal'c looked a little worse for wear too. "Thanks, I'll be right back. She took her bag down the hall to the spare bedroom and changed into a skirt, blouse and cardigan, carefully folding her BDU's. Sitting on the bed, she ran her hands through her hair and braced herself. She could do this. Maybe.

Three hours and copious amounts of alcohol later Daniel was passed out on the couch and Teal'c was attempting to find some peace in meditation in the spare room. Sam placed a blanket over Daniel and walked out to the back porch expecting to find Jack. He was nowhere to be seen, Sam was about to head back instead when she heard a thud followed by a string of expletive from around the side. She followed the noise to find Jack nursing his hand in front of a suspiciously fist sized hole in the boarding of his house. Jumping to action, she walked up to him and took his hand into hers, assessing the damage. Finding nothing more than scrapes and bruises and went to let it go, except his fingers wrapped around her and pulled her toward him. She looked up, about to question him, instead being met by his lips against hers.

She put her hands against his chest, with every intention to push him away but instead scrunching his shirt in her fists and pulling them closer together. He took a step forward, pinning her between the side of the house and his body. Part of her wished they'd even pretended to hesitate. She moaned against his lips and moved her hands to the belt of his pants, buttoning and unzipping as fast as she could managed with her trembling fingers. Her body felt on fire, desperation calling from every inch of her and he radiated with the same. His hands roamed her side before bundling up her skirt and slipping the crotch of her panties to the side. He ran a finger over her and felt her shudder against him. Taking his bottom lip between hers, she bit him roughly, hoping he'd take the hint already.

Seemingly understanding, Jack pushed her panties letting them fall on the ground and she stepped out of them. Spinning her 90 degrees, he pushed her back so she was sitting on a table, leaving her the perfect height. He moved his lips to her neck and nipped at the soft skin. He pushed into her in one swift move, eliciting a longing moan. He wasn't gentle, thrusting into her roughly as she muffled her noise by biting roughly into his shoulder and scraping her nails down his back under his shirt. She moaned something that sounded something like a mixture of 'Jack' and 'fuck' as he felt her tighten around him, and he went with her, his rough fingernails digging into her hip.

It took a moment before he felt Sam tense underneath him. "Jack." Her voice was hard, any passion gone. "Get off me."

He complied quickly, sheepishly redoing his pants and righting his shirt. He waited for her to replace all lost articles of clothing before talking. "Sam..."

"I have to go." She walked past him and headed toward the porch, hoping to god Daniel was still as asleep as he was twenty minutes ago.

"Sam, wait one second, please." His hand wrapped over her shoulder gently but firmly.

Shrugging his hand off, she turned toward him and stared at him for a long moment. He said nothing.

"What?" her voice was impatient, filled with anger and despair. Tears threatened to make way and she repeated her question. "What Jack?"

God she was angry. He could see it blazing in her eyes. He knew it wasn't just him and them that was making her irate. It was everything they put themselves through, fighting a seemingly unwinnable battle as their day job. The fury in her eyes was for every loss they'd had because of everything they fought for.

"Sam, it really will be okay. One day." He was talking not just about them, but in the hopes she could see that one day the fight would be over.

The fury in her eyes dissipated slightly to give way to a look of saddened doubt. "Yeah, maybe. One day." She shivered as a breeze blew over her. "Hey, I'm going to get Teal'c to take me home. You'll be right to get Daniel to safety tomorrow?"

Though he hadn't really expected to stay, he was disappointed nonetheless. "Sure thing. I'll see you on Monday, Carter."

She steeled herself nodded, beginning the process of pretending none of this had happened. "Yes, sir. Bright and early."

He smiled gently. "Yeah well, at least early."